Logan had to know. He merely toyed with me.
No doubt the sooner I ended this charade and saw him hung for Elliot’s murder, the better.
Chapter 24
As best I could, I washed with the tepid water still in Sara’s bowl. Her mirror was cracked so I couldn’t be certain that I had gotten all the streaks of mud off my face. But at least I could now go into my own room and attend to my minor wounds, change clothes and seek out Henry. I would need to have him cut that branch off before it fell and hurt someone.
I leaned over and kissed Sara. Then telling her to be a good girl, I promised to return right away and make lunch for her.
It amazed me at how quickly the little girl had taken to me but then, recalling the other children I’d seen like her, it seemed natural that she would have the same loving trust. She smiled at me and went back to her dolls as if nothing unusual had happened.
Checking the hall to make sure that it was empty, I quickly ran down to my own haven and shutting the door behind me leaned against it for a moment, closing my eyes.
It took several minutes to calm my racing pulses and realize that except for a few bruises and scratches I was all right.
Prior to this if anyone had told me that I might consider such a stunt, I never would have believed them. It had been foolish to risk my life in such a way. But then one could probably say that I had been foolish from the start to come out here searching for Elliot, and even more foolish to stay when I realized he wasn’t here, and then even more foolish after Drucilla had died. Therefore, one more foolish thing to add to the list didn’t seem quite so bad. It seemed one thing had led to another and led to another until, like the fly caught in the spider’s web, there was no way I could get free. Indeed, each thing I did seemed to lead me deeper and deeper into trouble. But I knew that soon I would get all the information I needed and then I’d be able to see the man responsible for my brother’s death hung.
With a sigh, I realized that I was about to do something even more foolish than all those things put together. I was planning to go back out to Brentwood Pass. It was important for me to find the exact location of my brother’s claim. And if I ran into Logan and his men on the roundup – well, so much the better. I needed to speak with Mr. Sparks, anyway. I was sure he could shed more light on my brother’s employment here. Perhaps I’d even convince him to come with me to the sheriff.
Then I realized that he’d probably never betray Logan. No, I would have to trick him into talking about my brother and then relay the information to Clay and Morgan. Surely, the law must have a way of getting people to talk, especially in a case like this.
Of course, I thought, surveying what few clothes I had, a costume of sorts was necessary. I knew it wasn’t safe for me as a woman to be traveling on the open range by myself. And besides, if Logan saw me, he’d surely become angry and send me back. Therefore, I’d dress like one of the cowhands.
But what did I have to wear?
Pacing the room a moment, hunger gnawed at me. I yet had to make Sara’s lunch, as well. I needed to think about this later.
Changing to a clean gown and pulling my hair back into a neater style, I hurried down to the kitchen.
“Where you been, Miz James’?” Henry glared at me. “I looked all over fer ye.”
“I... uh... took a walk.”
“With yer leg?” He sniffed. “Some people jist don know how t’take care.” He shook his head as he mumbled to himself.
Ignoring him, I quickly put together a simple lunch and then brought Sara downstairs.
She ate as if she’d been starved and I felt guilty for not getting to her earlier. But how could I have?
Exhausted from my own adventure, I merely picked at my food.
“Where do you think Logan is now?” I turned toward Henry who was mending his Levi’s.
The old man grunted and sniffed. For a moment, I didn’t think he’d tell me. Perhaps he’d been given orders not to say anything.
I waited, staring at him.
Reaching out, he took a drink from the bottle in front of him and then shrugged. “Started west o’er by the mountains. Got most the wild cattle there. Then imagine he’ll move up north.” Henry took another swig as if just those few words had made him frightfully thirsty. “Why’d want t’know?”
“Just curious.”
He grunted again and put the pants down as he stirred the stew which he was making for the ranch hands dinner. I hadn’t asked him to do any of the cooking, but I imagine without all of the cowhands around to feed, he felt rather useless with just the few left behind needing to be taken care of.
It struck me then that the cowhands and the bunkhouse were the answer to my problem. I was sure that somewhere in that smelly morass there was bound to be something extra to fit me. I didn’t like the idea of stealing, but this wasn’t stealing. I was merely borrowing the clothes and I’d return them as soon as possible.
However, with my aching limbs, now was not the time to go out there. Besides, I needed to do it when Henry and the others were in the field and I could be in there unseen.
Making sure that Sara was engaged in drawing me a picture, I returned to my own room.
No sooner had I flopped onto the bed than I was asleep.
~
It was a day and a half more before my opportunity came to get into the bunkhouse and I was chomping at the bit.
Holding my nose as soon as I entered the place, I longed to open the window and get some fresh air into here, but I knew that would quickly give me away. I hurried about my task.
Looking through the men’s clothes, I blushed at what I found and felt quite uneasy. But I needed to do this, I told myself.
Nothing, however, would fit me. Frustration started to take over as I began to throw things on the floor, forgetting that I had to leave everything the way I had found it. Not that these men were neat, but each seemed to have their own way of storing their items. I continued to hold the pants up to me, cursing my small size until I came to the things used by Ike. There were stains on the pants, but I would wash them first. And judging from the size they were the closest thing to me. I picked up a leather vest from one of the other men and found a pair of well-worm chaps in another bunk. I could wear one of Logan’s flannel shirts and hoped that he had an extra sheepskin coat somewhere. I knew for certain he had several Stetsons.
The next question was the gun. I didn’t know if I’d need it or not and there didn’t seem to be any extra gun belts, so I decided that I would tuck Mother’s gun into Ike’s boots that I was also borrowing.
Pleased with my find, I hurried down to the river to wash out the pants and vest and prayed they’d dry soon. Then I returned to the house to gather the other things I’d need.
~
“Yer goin’ where?” Henry stared at me incredulously as I mounted up wearing my seersucker dress and the old sheepskin of Logan’s that, tattered as it was, would give me some warmth in the evenings.
“To town. I had a message from my cousins who were supposed to meet me earlier. They’ve come.”
“Then why in tarnation ain’t they comin’ here? Don’t recall no messengers coming out this way. Don’t you know what you’ll do t’ that leg o’ yours if ya ride all that way and back, too?”
I shrugged, even feeling the dull ache of pain in my back, I knew, but forcing myself to ignore it. “I’m all right, Henry. I’ll be back in a day or two. You just watch Sara.”
Clucking like an old hen, he shook his head. I kissed Sara and told her to be good. Then I rode off.
Since Logan had gone west, I went east. Either way I’d get to the northern area of Brentwood Pass. The roundabout way might take me an extra hour or so, but it was worth it to avoid my husband. Besides, town was east of us and it made sense, in case anyone came by asking for me. Henry would say that I had gone in that direction.
I waited until I was far enough away from the ranch so that I wouldn’t be seen before I paused to change
to the clothes I’d stuffed into the saddle bag. I’d tried them on once before and had to admit that I did look rather masculine – small but masculine.
Remounting the horse, I urged it forward, feeling odd in these men’s clothes.
I took a deep breath of the mountain air and felt the crispness against my cheeks, invigorating my lungs. It seemed almost as if I had been released from prison and I wondered why I hadn’t tried wearing men’s clothes before.
From my pocket, I withdrew a hastily drawn copy of the map indicating the direction I had to take. I would follow the river for several miles and then swerve up towards the north.
Relaxing back in the saddle, I allowed the horse to guide me since I was sure he would know the way along the river and I sat back to listen to the singing of the birds in the trees as we passed through the wooded area and then out again into the lush open spaces of the valley.
By lunchtime, after nearly three hours in the saddle, my rear end was beginning to feel numb and I knew it was time for me to take a stretch. I really didn’t want to waste any time at all, but if I didn’t, I would not have the energy to explore the pass, especially since I didn’t know exactly where Elliot’s claim might be.
Henry was right. I wasn’t completely recovered. But I couldn’t afford to let things be any longer. Who knew when my chance would come again?
My legs felt as if they would collapse under me as I got down off the horse. It was all I could do to keep my balance and tie the animal to a tree while I wet my face in the stream and removed some beef jerky for my meal. I had planned, if all went well, that it would take me no more than two days out at the most, to find what I needed. But then I had been wrong before and so I divided my food into six equal portions – enough to last a third day, if absolutely necessary. Besides, I still hadn’t decided if I was going to seek out Logan’s camp and try to talk with Mr. Sparks now or wait for their return.
But who knew exactly when that would be? Not that Logan planned to run away. I was sure he had no inkling of what I was trying to do. And he surely had no suspicions of his brother. Still, the situation was distasteful to me and I wanted to get away from Logan as soon as possible.
Even as I thought that, my body shivered. Involuntarily I recalled the moments of pleasure he’d given me. But it was all a ruse to keep me on his side, I told myself. Leaning against the tree, I closed my eyes as I tried to forget.
I fell into a light doze but even then, all I saw were those Montana-blue-sky eyes staring at me, mocking me for enjoying his company the way I did.
Awakening with a start, I realized I had rested far longer than I’d intended to and that the sun was already halfway towards evening.
My knees protested and creaked like an old woman’s as I forced myself up off the ground. If I could, I would have made camp here for the night. But it was far too early for that and I had, according to the map, at least another two hours to go before I reached the pass. Of course, it would have been quicker if I’d gone in a straight line from the house, but I couldn’t very well destroy my cover, could I?
With difficulty, I managed to get back in the saddle and grimaced as I nudged the horse forward.
It was getting cooler as evening approached. I was glad now that I had been able to find the old coat. I knew that Henry had thought it strange. But I had explained to him that my own coat was not warm enough. That was not true, but my own garment would have easily given me away as a woman.
Reaching the curve in the river, I turned north as the map showed. I expected that before twilight approached, I would see the shape of the woman in the rock, as Elliot had described.
Upon turning north, I gave the horse his head, guiding him only gently along the rutted trail; he ambled along as if he seemed to know the way.
Only as the hours passed and I realized that the mountain pass was no longer to the northwest, did I discover that the horse had changed direction on me. He must have smelled the scent of the other animals and was now headed towards them.
To my horror, it was too late to turn around for the chuck wagon was scarcely a hundred yards from us. And standing not far from it were Logan and Morgan having a heated discussion.
At first, I thought I was safe, that I still hadn’t been seen, but as I started to turn the horse in an effort to escape and follow my original plan Logan called out, “Hey! Cowboy! Where are you supposed t’be?”
Chapter 25
I halted where I was with difficulty and rose up in the saddle trying to make myself taller as he stared at me. Did he suspect something? My throat was dry. I hoped not. I didn’t want to have all that I done up to now be for naught.
Cursing the stupid horse, I urged him forward as Logan started to walk towards me. I was glad I had taken the precaution of putting the bandanna around my lower face to protect it from the dust and hopefully from recognition.
“Where are you supposed to be, cowboy?”
Attempting to lower my voice as much as I could, I pointed southeast where I’d seen some of the cowhands around the fire. “Over there, sir.”
His eyes narrowed. Was he counting the men there and realizing that I was one too many?
“What did you do today, cowboy?”
What did I do today? I took a wild guess for all I knew of the roundup was the branding of the calves and the roping them in. I cleared my throat. “Branded four today, sir.”
“Four you say?”
I nodded.
“That’s good. And where are you headed now?
I hoped I didn’t blush too much. “Private business, sir.”
He stared at me a moment and then shrugged. “All right, cowboy. But then return to your fire. Several men spotted a grizzly in the mountain area. Wouldn’t want anyone to become his meal.”
A grizzly? Fear shivered through me. I hadn’t even though of that kind of danger. I’d never even seen a bear except at the zoo and certainly didn’t relish being a meal for one of them.
I realized that Logan was waiting an answer, so I nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll hurry back.”
Turning my horse, I spurred him on toward the privacy of the trees.
Once in shadow I halted and wondered what I was going to do. I supposed I was stuck now. If I didn’t return in a reasonable time, Logan would probably send other men to come looking for me and then I’d never get to find Elliot’s claim. On the other hand, if I mingled too freely with the men my disguise was sure to wear thin. Some of the men might even recognize their clothes.
Swearing softly to myself, I realized I was in a bind. I vowed to return to the campfire, especially considering that night was almost here, and then sometime near dawn, before the others rose, I would ride off again. I would just have to do my best to keep my distance from Logan, Morgan and the other men.
Thankful that I’d thought to bring a tarp and bedroll for myself, I turned back to the camp. Even before I’d moved, however, I heard the nose of twigs cracking and I froze in my spot as I realized that someone or something was immediately around.
Slowly, I twisted in my saddle, prepared to urge the horse into a gallop, if necessary. Shivering, I felt as if eyes were watching me. But I could see nothing and the sounds had stopped. Was there really a bear loose here or was that just his way of scaring me?
Perhaps it was just as well that I was going to spend the night by the campfire.
~
Night fell swiftly and while the men continued talking and joking for several hours, exchanging stories of the day’s adventure and lewd comments about the women in town, I ate some watery stew off a tin plate but gave the rest away and curled up in a tiny ball and closed my eyes.
I didn’t think I would really sleep but my muscles ached so from the day long ride that I quickly passed out.
~
The moon was high overhead when I opened my eyes again. I raised myself up, wondering for a moment where I was. As it dawned on me, I felt my stomach revolt. My dirty tin plate had been placed near my head. I supp
osed I couldn’t have expected the man to wash it off. That would have been too gentlemanly, and cowhands were not known for those traits.
I looked around me. Most of those others scattered near the fire, which was lower than it should have been, were sound asleep. And the same was for the other fires spread in a circular fashion around the chuck wagon. Who was on watch, I wondered?
Slowly, I stood and tin in hand, and I made my way towards the woods and the stream. After all, unless I planned to leave the dirty plate there, which would cause speculation, I had to clean it before I put it away. My muscles still protested any movement, but I forced myself on.
I was relieved to see that indeed someone was standing guard near the wagon. In fact, there were two men, talking in low voices. I assumed they were keeping watch, but their hands were gesturing so vehemently that I doubted they were paying much attention to what was going on in the camp. I wanted to hear what they were saying but decided it was better for me to rinse this plate and then be on my way before morning came. Already there was a halo around the moon and it would seem that it was becoming fainter. Any moment, I expected the rest of the hands to begin stirring.
Dodging in through the trees, I sought to avoid the two men, especially after I realized one of them was Logan.
Twigs cracked beneath my feet as my sleepy body made its way to the stream I’d seen earlier. I now knew why they’d set up their base camp here. I only wished that the horse hadn’t brought me here.
As I bent to wash the tin plate, I knew it was my own stupid fault for giving the horse the lead. I should have known better. And this time, as I got the map back out of my hip pocket and tried to read it in the moonlight that filtered through the trees, I would follow the road exactly as it had been marked here.
Logan's Land Page 19