by Opal Mellon
“Yes,” Ben said, watching the door to see if there was any sign of Nicole. “Vodka tonic.”
“Sorry, the bar is non-alcoholic.”
“What?” Ben looked at him, then at the bar, with genuine confusion. “Fine, anything then.” Ben stared at Sean again and Sean couldn’t shake the feeling that Ben was amused by him.
Maybe he knew he was the best friend she’d talked about. According to Stephen, that had been half of the benefit of dating Nicole.
“Sean, will you help me get drinks for the group?” Justin said, rising and sticking out a hand to help Sean up if needed.
Sean surprised himself by grabbing it. “Sure.” He followed Justin to the counter and drummed his fingers against it while he waited for Justin to pull out drinks.
The girls entered the bathroom, and of course bypassed the idea of using the toilets and went straight for the mirror. All of them knew that ‘I have to go to the restroom’ was lady speak for ‘I need to check myself out for a good long while and fix anything that may have gone awry.’
Nicole scowled. The stress creases on her forehead and at the corners of her mouth had made barely noticeable indents into her powder. She looked in her purse for foundation while she saw Cheri apply lipstick.
“You’re really laying it on thick for Sean tonight,” the one with black hair said.
“I know,” Cheri said. “He’s so fun to tease.” She moved a manicured finger over her lip line to clean it up. Cheri smiled at her. “I’m Cheri by the way. I know I’ve seen you around the club, so if I’ve already introduced myself, I apologize.”
“I’m Randy,” the other girl said.
“No apologies necessary,” Nicole said. “I’m Nicole. I’m still pretty new here, and there are a lot of faces. Not to mention how hard it is to focus on the women here with all of the gorgeous men around.”
Except there was only one gorgeous man in her eyes, and she wished he’d just proclaim his love and throw out her date already. The thought stopped her. Just days ago wanting Sean to interfere would have been ludicrous. Odd that he seemed more attractive to her each day since he’d decided to act without her approval.
“Do you need anything? My bag is your bag.” Cheri pushed her flowery makeup case over to Nicole.
“I don’t think you have my color,” Nicole said. They laughed with her. “I’ll just have to wipe off the parts that get creased. I hate creasing.”
“So, if you don’t mind us asking, why did you bring a date?” Cheri leaned back against the sink. “No offense.”
“I know,” Nicole said. She tried to decide how much she would say. “I guess in the end I just wanted a safe place to get to know someone.”
“Actually, that makes a lot of sense,” Randy said. “Not a bad idea.”
“I’m not sure about that, based on how Ben’s acting.”
“Yeah, I thought Sean was going to punch him.” Cheri giggled. “He’s so alpha male and he doesn’t even know it.”
Sean, alpha male? Nicole felt like she’d been told the sky was white. “I don’t know about that.”
“Totally the strong, silent type.” Randy agreed.
Nicole felt like these women were somehow missing the whole point of him. Sean wasn’t an alpha male, if that was even a real thing, let alone something to be desired. He was just Sean. He wasn’t that interested in dominating the other males and showing them he could get all the girls. An image of him in the dojang, training to beat other men professionally, rose to contradict her and she laughed.
“I guess he can be a bit heavy-handed at times.”
“I’d like him to get heavy handed with me,” Cheri said.
Nicole shook her head and tried to laugh, though the image of him holding Cheri made her angry.
Randy sighed. “You perv.” She grabbed Cheri’s hand and pulled her along. “Keep it down when we get back. You’re embarrassing.”
“Well my bad,” Cheri said, not sounding sorry at all to Nicole’s ears.
Not that Nicole was paying attention. When they walked in the room, all she could see was Sean, standing next to Justin, looking intensely thoughtful. They were talking, but obviously in low voices. She tuned in, wishing she could hear. But she couldn’t, and that would be rude anyhow.
Chapter Fourteen
“You’re blowing it,” Justin said. “I think you need to join another group. It’s too obvious.” He rested his palms on the bar so that he could look Sean in the eye.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Did you hear him though? About the fish? Even if he’s not a woman beater he’s just such a—”
“I know,” Justin said, shaking his head. “But you aren’t helping. Didn’t you want to watch him?”
Sean nodded.
“How are you going to get a chance to see what he’s like if he doesn’t trust you?”
“He didn’t trust me there. He was showing what he was really like.”
“Really a jerk. True. But that’s not why she’s here right?”
Sean nodded again, his head drooping a little now.
“I think I get him,” Justin said, keeping his voice quiet so that Ben, who was sitting alone and checking out women who passed by, wouldn’t hear them. “I don’t really get her though,” he said, putting the last juice on the counter. “That’s the last one; I guess we’ll need to put them in glasses. Big night tonight.” He reached under the bar and brought up some small, translucent plastic cups in varying colors. Disposable of course. And unbreakable. Sean thought it was too bad because he’d really have liked to break one over Ben’s head.
“What do you mean you don’t get her?” Sean said. He checked that Nicole wasn’t back yet.
“I don’t think she even likes him. Given that you already told her your concerns, I don’t know why she’s even putting up with him. Like you said, even if he’s not abusive, he’s a total loser."
“Yeah.” Sean bent forward on his elbows as if talking to the counter and not to Justin. “I guess anyone is better than dating me.” He ground his teeth together.
“I don’t think that’s it. I think there’s more to it,” Justin said. “It’s almost like she’s, naw.”
“What?” Sean asked.
“Did something happen between you two?” Justin asked. He put the cups in a neat line for the guests.
Sean shook his head. Then scratched it. Then pulled at his tie, and his cufflinks. “No.”
“That was a pretty complicated no.”
“Okay. I don’t know,” Sean said. “I went over to help her the other day.”
“What do you mean help?”
“She thought she was being watched by someone,” Sean whispered. “She called me over.”
“Ah,” Justin said. “So, late at night?”
“Yes,” Sean said. “How’d you know?”
“People don’t generally stalk people in broad daylight.” Justin smiled. “You’d be the exception there.”
Sean hmphed. “Anyway, when I came over, she got really clingy. She sort of, came on to me.”
Sean felt like a betrayer for telling Justin details. He wouldn’t have pegged himself as the type to kiss and tell. But he’d never had anything to tell before. And like it or not, he was beginning to trust the guy.
“Wow,” Justin said, not sounding as surprised as Sean had expected. He came around the bar to stand by Sean, arms folded. “Well friend, it sounds to me like she likes you.”
“What?”
“I know. I’m shocked too.” He laughed. “But you were the one she called when she was scared. And then she came on to you? Come on Sean, even you can’t be that dense.”
“Nicole is damaged though,” Sean said. “She’s not like other women when it comes to sex stuff.”
“Ouch.” Justin leaned to shove Sean with his shoulder. “If you talked to her like that, no wonder she’s here waving that guy in your face.”
“What do you mean?” Sean asked.
“I mean, if I were her, the
last person I would want to be with would be someone who seemed to think I needed special handling.”
“Oh. But she does.”
“I just mean, even if a person’s been through a few things that affected them, it doesn’t mean that all of their actions should only be looked at through that lens.”
Sean knew Justin was right. He set his palm to his forehead. He’d been so clueless. He saw Nicole emerge through the bathroom door, smiling and laughing with the other girls, and wanted to kick himself. Had he really allowed himself to think he was superior in some way? He really hadn’t meant that she was damaged. Perhaps all he’d really been trying to say was that she was wounded, and he didn’t want to add to those wounds. He was scared to death he would. And he’d be so much guiltier than other men for doing so, because he would have known how much it would hurt her.
“I saw that look in your eye,” Justin said. “You don’t want to hurt her. Well newsflash buddy: we hurt each other. She’s hurt you for years. And she’s not as fragile as you think. Whatever she told you she’s been through, or whatever you think she’s been through, she survived it. What makes you think she couldn’t survive you?”
Sean laughed, letting out all the air that had felt like it had been trapped in his chest since he first saw them come into the club together.
“You’re right,” he said. “And she’s right.” He waved to Nicole who was settling back on the chair but looking over at them with a hesitant smile. “She doesn’t need me.”
“But it looks like she does want you,” Justin said. “At least, right now it looks like she wants us over there with her buffering against Ben.”
Sean smiled, genuinely, softly, at her back after she turned. Right as she did, Ben looked over at them. He caught Sean’s stare, and winked at him.
Oh dear, Sean thought. I’m going to kill him.
He picked up several cups and Justin did the same, and they walked over to the girls and Ben. As they did, Sean took several slow breaths. Justin’s reminder that Nicole wasn’t so easily broken had really helped lower the urgency of the situation for him. It also made him look at Justin a little differently, because while Sean wasn’t the most observant of people, even he had to notice that Justin was just a little too intense when talking about people who have been through things. Just one of those things you sort of file away about a person.
As they sat they handed the girls the glasses. Ben and Nicole turned theirs down. Sean sank into the couch and thought about Justin’s words and the last couple weeks.
He remembered Nicole’s hurt expression and wide eyes when he’d called her damaged. He winced. He remembered that she often said something about wanting to change, to like better men, to be more normal. Was that to be liked or to be loved? And was it for a man she wanted, or was it so that she could like the right man? Sean figured the latter. When Cheri moved to sit on him, he scooted to the arm of the chair, smiling at her.
“Sorry Cheri, if you’re in my lap I just can’t focus on the other guests as well.”
She pouted.
“But I’ll be right here, closest to you and we can still tell secrets and laugh about people.” He gave her what he thought equated to a charming smile, and she returned it.
He realized he should probably be paying more attention to the group. Ben had become pretty wrapped up in talking to Justin. Nicole looked between them nervously. He tuned in. He noticed that Nicole was now in the chair and Ben was on the arm. That was a little more gentlemanly at least.
“Stop it,” Nicole said quietly to Ben.
“No,” Ben said. “I want to know.”
Nicole shook her head. She felt even more trapped now that Ben had pushed her into the chair and taken the arm. She didn’t want to sit and watch while Ben tried to figure out if Justin was gay. Why, oh why, did they come in tonight? Was she five-years-old? Trying to play damsel in distress just to see Sean act the hero.
“I’m just saying, I wouldn’t judge if you were,” Ben said, holding his hands out. “But you’re here without a date, hanging out with all these girls. And you, well, you have kind of a girly face.”
“How many drinks did he have at dinner?” Justin said, raising an eyebrow at Nicole.
“One or two,” Nicole said, wishing it was more and that her date wasn’t just a natural pain in the butt. “I’m sorry Justin. We’ll just go.” She started to stand again but was pushed down again a little less gently than before.
Justin narrowed his eyes on Ben’s hand on her shoulder. She looked over to Sean, but he seemed a bit glazed over. Who knew what went on in that brain? She wondered if she should get his attention, but it wasn’t his fault they were in this situation, it was hers.
“I’m not leaving,” Ben said. “You dragged me here and now we’re here. I paid for your dinner and we’re going to have a date.”
“Nicole should be able to leave if she wants to,” Justin said. “Right Sean?”
Sean seemed to snap out of his daze at that. “Yes. What?” His eyes took in the scene.
“So you’re gay right?” Ben kept on, keeping his voice somewhat low.
“Why, you interested?” Justin asked. Nicole felt Ben’s fingers curl into her.
“Interested in beating your—.”
“Try it,” Justin interrupted, bored.
“No.” Ben said. “There are better things to do here.” He turned and put a hand on either side of Nicole’s chair, caging her off.
“Stop it Ben,” she muttered. “You are making a fool of yourself.” She hoped Sean wasn’t watching. She’d wanted him to be jealous, but now that something was actually happening, she just wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.
“In case you didn’t notice, there are a lot of women here. Not that many men. Maybe you’d better treat your date nicer, or I’ll go talk to one of them.”
“Ugh. I wouldn’t inflict that on any of them.” She folded her arms, determined to let him harass her. No one else should have to bear the brunt of her stupidity.
Sean felt his neck grow hot as Ben turned to lean over Nicole, blocking her from his view. He could see Nicole’s legs squirm underneath. But he had no excuse to interfere. Not unless she said something. Not unless she asked for help. He’d told her she’d have to ask him if she wanted him to protect her again.
But what if she didn’t remember? Ben turned around and grinned at him, and Sean nearly jumped on him right there. He didn’t know if he was necking Nicole or just intimidating her, he just knew he didn’t deserve to do it, whatever it was. Why was she letting Ben do this? Maybe Justin was wrong. Maybe she didn’t like Sean. Why would she let this guy touch her?
He looked at Justin, who was watching the scene with an angry expression. It wasn’t appropriate for the club, and other women were starting to notice.
Nicole let out something like a grunt, or a cough, and Sean looked at Justin, and Justin stood. Sean probably thought that was best. Maybe they could avoid a fight. Maybe they could just put it behind them and all go home with no one going to jail.
Nicole wiggled and cringed away from Ben, hating the smell of his sweat, the smell of his cologne. She wished it was Sean, wondered if she wouldn’t find the man smell disgusting then.
“Oh come on, I bought dinner, I’ve taken you out twice. You had to know we’d do something.”
“Not here.”
“You brought me here.”
“I regret it,” Nicole said, dodging his slimy tongue. “Why do you keep looking at him?”
“That’s the friend you told me about, right?” he said. “Bet he’s jealous now.”
“You’re going to make him beat you up.” She pushed at his chest.
He licked her ear. “He couldn’t beat me up.”
“Yes he could,” she said. “He trains in Tae Kwon Do.”
“Yeah well, I do MMA with my buddies,” he said. “And we beat the crap out of Tae Kwon dopes.”
Nicole flushed, remembering what Sean had said about TKD b
eing more for sport than practicality. It seemed like she had probably made a huge mistake in calculating who was going to beat whom tonight. Oh, the only thing worse than Sean not doing anything about this would be Sean failing when he tried.
As she ignored Ben’s hands and words, she wished she’d never been so damaged. She wished that she had been protected when she was younger, rather than used. Maybe then she wouldn’t be in this situation.
Having a man fight for you wasn’t romantic, though she may have imagined it, back when she was with her stepdad, with the other men who’d used her. She’d loved to think that someone, maybe it had always been Sean, would fly in and pull them off and make everything okay. A tan hand reached over Ben’s shoulder and pulled him back.
“Okay, time to go,” Justin said, pulling him off.
“Get off me fag.” Ben pushed him away, turned back to Nicole.
“That word isn’t welcome here,” Justin said. “And I’m not gay.” He grabbed Ben by the shoulder and yanked him off. Ben stumbled and landed on his butt. Nicole couldn’t help it, her nervousness erupted in giggles.
That drew Sean’s attention. No, she realized, he’d been watching all along, with little creases of concern around his eyes and mouth, while Cheri tried unsuccessfully to draw back his attention. Cheri then noticed the scene and went quiet, as did several of the girls in the group.
Before they had much time to watch Ben simmer on the floor, they heard a loud crack and saw Justin hit the floor, clutching his leg where it had been swept. Ben jumped up and delivered a nasty kick to Justin’s ribs, Justin just grunted and tried to reach for Ben’s leg. So unfair, Justin hadn’t been trying to fight at all. So dirty. She saw Sean jump up, run to Justin. Nicole tried to do the same but was shoved back onto the chair.
“Now that the fag is out of the way let’s get back to torturing the big dumb-”
She closed her eyes and wished she’d had self-defense training. She tried to imagine that this wasn’t so bad, so that Sean wouldn’t think she was in trouble and would take care of Justin, probably call the police. But she felt Ben pulling away and looked up to see another hand on his shoulder. A larger, darker one than Justin’s.