by ANDREA SMITH
After his interrogation of Donna the other morning, Avery was fairly certain he was not walking into some hornet’s nest involving the priest, his wife, or stepdaughter. But now he was really curious about what the context of this meeting might be.
He heard the door to the room close and spun around to see Patrick Donahue, in his black clerical garb, walking towards him, his face showing no emotion whatsoever.
“Reverend Dawson,” he said, extending his right hand towards Avery, “sorry to keep you waiting.”
Avery shook the priest’s hand and nodded.
“Please, have a seat,” the Monsignor continued, as he took his place on the other side of his massive, dust-free desk. “I will try my best to keep this short and to the point.”
Avery sat, still waiting for the priest to explain this impromptu meeting. “I’d like that, Monsignor. I’m puzzled as to the reason I’m here. Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?”
Avery watched, and his eyes narrowed as Monsignor Donahue placed his hands, palm side down on the polished top of his desk. “Very well. It has come to my attention, Reverend Dawson, that certain members of your congregation—female members to be specific—are at the receiving end of some rather unorthodox and immoral counseling sessions conducted by you personally.”
Silence blanketed the room. Each man sized up the other, and it was Avery Dawson who spoke next. “I find it incredibly ironic that I sit here now, across from a Catholic priest, who would venture to question me on morals. Is that what you are attempting to do here, Monsignor?”
Patrick Donahue was not detracted from his purpose by Avery’s irate response. He would not allow the man to put him on the defensive here. “What I’m attempting to do is to put you on notice that your methods of counseling are about to become public knowledge. Consider it a professional courtesy, Reverend. I have an obligation to my congregation, and to the members of your own congregation when they reach out to me for assistance and guidance. Trust me, Avery, this is no small thing. I don’t intend to sit by and let the good people of this community suffer at the hands of your twisted self-serving behavior. How dare you feed your own sick impulses by using your position of power over the members of your congregation in such a despicable and deplorable way!”
The thunderous voice of Monsignor Donahue echoed throughout his office chamber and, for a moment, Avery Dawson shrank back in his seat as the velocity of his words struck him squarely in the face. He regained his composure quickly, jumping to his feet, his face darkening with his own rage at being chastised by another minister of a different faith. He felt his fist ball up as he slammed it forcefully down on the top of the desk between them.
“And how dare you, Monsignor! How dare you sit there and throw stones at me when you have much more to lose than I!” Avery shouted back. “This whole town will finally know that you are the father of my wife’s bastard daughter! Donna may be inclined to keep your dirty little secret. I however, have no such compunction! I will take you down with me, Donahue, have no doubt about that!”
Avery Dawson turned on his heel and made a quick exit from Monsignor Donahue’s office, slamming the heavy wooden door on his way out. The priest had seriously underestimated the man he’d invited into his own den of secrets. By God, Avery would make it his mission to spread the truth about the Catholic priest, even if that meant he preached it from his own pulpit next Sunday! How dare the priest question his methods of counseling his own flock!
For the moment though, Avery needed to focus on how this information reached the priest’s ears in the first place. Who would’ve dared to go behind his back and complain…to a priest?
He drove quickly across town to his own office. He needed the assurance that no one had breached his private files during his absence. All of this had gone down while he was away. Had Donna snooped while she’d cleaned the carpets? It couldn’t have been his wife. She didn’t have the key to his desk where all of his confidential counseling records were kept. No one had the key but him.
Once there, Avery checked the hiding place for his spare key. It was still there. He unlocked his desk, and quickly accounted for all of his files being right where he had left them. The box of numbered cassette tapes was in its proper place as well.
He went to the outer office, and emptied a box of its contents of Styrofoam coffee cups, taking it back to his office where he quickly filled it with the file folders of counseling notes he’d kept over the past year and a half. He dumped all of the cassette tapes he’d saved into the box as well. There was no need to keep any of this any longer. It would be prudent to destroy anything related to his counseling sessions since the local priest seemed to be hell bent on destroying his good name.
He took the box out back, tossed the contents into the 55-gallon drum that was used as a burn barrel for trash. Avery lit a match and tossed it inside, staying there until each and every scrap of paper turned to ash; and every cassette tape had melted into a pool of liquid plastic.
Chapter 36
I pulled out our old family bible from underneath the stack of shoeboxes sitting on top of it on the shelf in my mother’s closet. Finally, after several occasions of looking for it, I hit pay dirt. Why my mother had been hiding it was beyond me. It used to sit downstairs on one of the end tables in the living room, but it had been years since I’d seen it there I now realized. Long before Avery came into my mother’s life even.
I had Jamie’s letter in my hand. He was nearly as clueless as me about what I’d shared with him about Michael Gardner.
Sunny,
Sorry things are fucked up at home for you. I’m so damn glad I got out of there when I did. Never liked Avery from the minute I met him. I don’t trust anyone that walks around with a self-made halo like that asshole does. I don’t know what Mama was thinking.
No, I haven’t gotten a letter from Mama for a long time. I didn’t know about her “accident.” It sounds to me like you don’t think it was an accident. I guess I figured when she didn’t write back maybe she didn’t really want me coming home before I left for the west coast. So let her know I’m now settled in San Diego and even have a girlfriend.
I’m sorry about all that shit with Michael Gardner. That’s a trip for sure. I wish I could help, but I was pretty young myself. Hell, I don’t even remember my own father, so don’t feel bad. It’s not right that Mama lied to you, though. That is really screwed up. Listen kid, if things get too bad, you can always come stay with me. I have my own place off base and an extra bedroom. So remember, you always have me. Be strong. Stay cool.
Love you -J
So, knowing that Jamie knew nothing more than me, I decided to look for my answers in the family bible. As I flipped to the back, I saw my mother’s handwriting in the section listing Life Events.
I skimmed through it. Jamie’s birth, parent, and baptismal records all filled out nicely. Below that, there is mine. Nothing listed under father’s name. Baptized by Monsignor Donahue who doubled as my godfather?
What was up with that?
Sure enough, Gloria Margolis was listed as my godmother. So, she was not only at my baptism, she was my freaking godmother, too? None of this makes sense to me. My mother has made no secret of the fact she doesn’t care for Gloria, but she has never given details about it. I just figured their personalities didn’t mesh; oil and water—that type of thing, but there has to be more to it than that I realized as I continued staring at the page.
My mind drifted off trying to think back to when I first knew that Mama didn’t like Gloria. It must’ve been when I was in grade school. Fourth grade?
Yes, it was fourth grade.
“There’s a new girl in my class, Mama. And she’s my new best friend. She talks funny, too.”
“Sit up straight, Sunshine,” Mama scolded, as she piled a helping of green beans onto my dinner plate. “You don’t want to be hunchbacked like Emma Lou Lawson, now do you?”
“No Mama,” I replied, straightening up quickly.
“Her name is Gina Margolis,” I replied, “and she used to live here but they moved away and now they’re back,” I finished.
My mother immediately stopped serving my brother his mashed potatoes, and looked over at me with a frown. “Margolis? Gloria’s back?”
She and my father exchanged a glance.
“Who is Gloria?” I asked, shoving a forkful of green beans into my mouth, looking back and forth between them.
“An old friend of your Mama’s,” my father replied with a smirk.
“She’s nobody,” Mama snapped irritably, glaring at Daddy. “Go on now. Eat your dinner before it gets cold.”
Later that night, after I’d had my bath and was tucked into bed, I heard Mama and Daddy talking. “If Gloria Margolis is back, you better believe it’s because that husband of hers has had his fill of her uppity ass.”
“You used to be friends, Donna.”
“That was a long time ago. Things changed. Keep your distance from that tramp.”
I’m startled from the memory by the sound of Mama and Avery downstairs.
Crap, I’d lost track of time. There was no time to do anything other than hide under their bed when I heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs. I quickly rolled underneath their bed, making sure that the dust ruffle stayed in place to hide that fact.
“Sunny, you in there?” I heard Mama’s voice from the hallway as she knocked on my closed bedroom door. I heard the sound of my door being opened and then closed.
Another set of footsteps could be heard on the stairs.
Oh great! Both of them were upstairs now.
“She’s not home yet.”
“That’s just as well,” Avery said, “Because we’re going to finish our conversation, Donna. You need to get on the same page with me. This is extremely important.”
They were both in their bedroom now and I shrank back as far as possible even though I knew there was no way they could see me under the bed.
“I don’t understand what you hope to gain by doing this, Avery. Why would you want to shame Monsignor Donahue like that in front of your own congregation?”
“I told you!” he bellowed, causing me to flinch. “He dared to question my handling of my own congregation, woman!”
“I know that! But you didn’t explain in what way. I don’t understand. Why would he care about the members of your church?”
It went steely silent in the room. I held my breath waiting to see what came next. It was a solid slap.
Mama screamed.
“Not again, Avery! I swear, you will not touch me like that again! You cost me the baby and I swear to all that is Holy, I will never forgive you for that!”
I started to scoot on my belly over to where the dust ruffle was so that I could get out from underneath the bed. The hell with this shit! The bastard wasn’t going to be touching my Mama again like that if I had a breath left in my body!
But his next words caused me to freeze up like an icicle. “You won’t forgive me? What about the fact that a priest fathered that bastard daughter of yours? The same priest that is trying to ruin my reputation in this community? How am I supposed to forgive that, Donna? Tell me!”
“Avery, please! It’s not fair to Sunshine to tell the world about that like you’re wanting to do. Can’t you stop and consider her feelings for one minute? It will ruin her reputation in this community, and what about mine?”
“Your reputation is beyond repair, woman,” he spat, “and as far as your daughter? Don’t you think she’s been kept in the dark long enough? What about the truth, Donna? Don’t you believe that the truth will set her free?”
I waited to see what Mama had to say about that before I made my presence known. Something inside of me needed to see exactly what position she would take on this. I didn’t have to wait long.
“Well,” she said, her voice quivered a bit, “I know that my loyalty has to belong to you and all. I mean, that’s what the Bible says, doesn’t it? But announcing it like that in front of the whole congregation, Avery, I…I just don’t know.”
Oh hell no.
“Look, if it makes you feel any better, the two of us will sit down with Sunshine before services and let her know. That way, she won’t feel blindsided. In fact, if it’s too painful for her, I will excuse her from attending Sunday’s services. Everyone will certainly understand her absence. My congregation is God-fearing, but they certainly don’t lack compassion. This will eliminate any risk of the community finding out and thinking you—or the both of us for that matter, were trying to hide something, right? That wouldn’t do for either one of us, Donna.”
“I—I just don’t know, Avery,” Donna whined. “What purpose will this serve to the community?”
I heard Avery release a low growl. He was quickly growing impatient with Mama’s reluctance in supporting what he felt was some epic revelation that would serve to take the focus off of him and onto the Catholic priest in the community. Regardless of Mama’s answer, I would not let that happen.
“As I’ve repeatedly told you, Donna, the truth will serve my congregation well. We might even welcome some disgruntled Catholics into our flock once the truth is out about Father Donahue. I’d be hard pressed to believe his congregation would sanction his duplicitous behavior and the resulting repercussions, wouldn’t you?”
“I suppose,” she murmured. “You do what you think is best, Avery. I can’t stop you, I see that now.”
A surge of anger ricocheted through my body at her obvious lack of maternal concern for me. But why was I surprised? Mama had always been self-centered it seemed. But once Avery Dawson entered the picture, her self-absorption had dissipated to a degree. It had been replaced by some irrational need to mold herself into whatever Reverend Dawson felt she should be, with no regard for family loyalty or community values. It was as if Avery held some sort of depraved power over her—and most likely, with the other women who fell under his spell.
If I hadn’t heard Gloria’s words with my own ears, I never would’ve believed them. But I had; and because of that, we had discovered even more proof of his corrupt ways when we searched his office.
It was indisputable that Avery Dawson had a gift—and a very evil gift at that. It would take someone with strength, determination and tenacity to bring him down. And I knew that person was going to be me. This was now my mission, and I was resolute to see it succeed no matter what.
My thoughts evaporated when I felt the mattress dip down with their combined weight. “Avery,” Mama said, “the door’s still open. What if Sunny comes home? She should’ve been here by now.”
“Well then we’ll just make it quick, Donna. Don’t you want to see to your husband’s needs? We haven’t made love since you miscarried. A man needs to cleave to his wife. Scripture says so. Do you not want to share a bed any longer?”
“Of course I do, Avery. You know I would never deny you what is yours. I thought you were still angry with me is all.”
“I’ve forgiven you, Donna. That is what the Lord would want me to do. Please see to my needs now.”
And for the next twenty minutes I had to endure the sounds of them going at it, fighting the urge to vomit as I did so. I would never understand my mother’s motivation for bringing that sick son-of-a-bitch into our home.
Chapter 37
I found Gina at her locker in the hall first thing. I needed to let her know Avery’s plans, and enlist her help in speeding up the demise of his reputation.
She slammed the door on her locker, and clicked the lock into place. “Are you crazy?” she asked, her eyes bugging out at me as if I had suddenly sprouted another head. “That plan is insane. You can’t expose his victims in order to take him down, Sunny. Everyone in town would hate you—including me and the twins for shit’s sake!”
I hadn’t counted on the fact that she wouldn’t
be behind me on this. She was my best friend. Certainly we could work something out with respect to letting Avery’s counseling records out without exposing people he associated with in the process.
“We could just copy a few—not all of them,” I explained. “And then we could anonymously send copies to the newspaper here in town? Let the paper expose him.”
She shook her head vigorously. “I get that you’re upset, and I totally understand why. But this half-baked plan isn’t the answer. Besides, we need to touch base with Father Donahue to see exactly what happened between him and ‘Evil Avery.’ And while we’re at it, let’s ask him if he is your father. My gut tells me it’s all a big, fat lie.”
I sighed. I realized she was right. We’d discussed the best way of handling exposing Avery, and had set a path to do just that, which didn’t include copying the records and stuffing them in mailboxes all over town, or sending copies to the newspaper. But I was desperate. Meeting up again with Monsignor Donahue had been on our “to do” list once we knew that he had met with Avery. And now that we knew he had, we needed to follow our pre-planned itinerary.
“After school then?”
“Yep. We’ll head over right after last period. And until then, cool out, Sunny, okay?”
“Yeah, right.”
Deja vu all over again I thought as Gina and I once again found ourselves seated in Monsignor Donahue’s study, the mantle clock ticking away the seconds while awaiting his presence. I chewed nervously on a fingernail, while Gina carefully filed one of hers, blowing away the nail dust as she carefully inspected it.
The door opened, and Patrick Donahue swept in wearing black slacks, and a pressed black shirt. The white Roman collar peeked through at the neckline.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Margolis, Ms. Gardner,” he said, giving a slight smile. “What can I do for you ladies today?”
Gina smiled, and snapped her gum as she tossed the emery board she’d been using into her handbag. She leaned forward in her seat and I held my breath waiting to hear what was going to come out of her mouth. “It’s not what you can do for us, Father, it’s what we can do for you. It’s called a preemptive strike.”