by ANDREA SMITH
I nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“But the thing was, Sunshine, the thought of being forever tied to your—to Donna, well, it was just too damned objectionable to me. When I left Layton, the only satisfaction I got was knowing that I never had to set my eyes on her, or that bible thumping Peyton Place again. And I know that sounds as if I threw you under the bus, and Jamie too, because I thought a lot of him as well, but it’s the only honest answer I can give you.”
It was silent between us for a moment. Part of me—a big part actually—wanted to lash out at him and confirm the fact that yes, it was a cowardly thing for him to do. Given the fact that he’d already admitted he thought Mama was mental, made it even more despicable in my mind. If I was Gina, I would totally have called him out on it, verbally blasted him seven ways from Sunday, telling him that it was fucking too little, too damn late!
But that wasn’t me.
I was Sunshine. And I’d never been a confrontational person, especially when someone I had loved was trying to make amends. I faced the fact in that moment that there weren’t people lined up trying to show me compassion or love, and I craved it as any human might.
“Say something, please Sunny? Yell, scream, hell punch me in the face if you feel like it. God knows I deserve that and more.”
“I think it’s going to take some time, Dad,” I replied, looking into his dark brown eyes, “but I’d never shut you out that way.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, and nodded quietly. “Thank you,” he breathed. “I promise, I won’t drop out of your life again—unless, well, unless you tell me to.”
I gave him a meek smile, “To be honest, there’s an incredibly short supply of people that really, really care about me in this world. As long as you’re being honest and upfront with me now, I can’t see me pushing you out of my life anytime soon.”
We spent the next thirty minutes catching up.
Dad was disappointed that I’d dropped out of school when I’d relocated to California, and did his fatherly duty preaching to me about finishing high school. He offered to help me with college as an incentive, so I promised him I’d sign up for night classes in preparation to take my GED test. He seemed satisfied with that plan.
Before we parted, we exchanged addresses and phone numbers, and he promised he would be the first to call.
We hugged one another tightly before leaving the restaurant, and Dad thanked Melissa, telling her to please pass along his gratitude to Jamie for reaching out to him.
Afterwards, I quizzed Melissa, and she easily gave up the information that my brother had been determined to bring Dad and me together on this trip.
“That was kind of risky don’t you think?” I asked, giving her ponytail a playful tug.
“Risks are what makes life interesting, Sunny,” she replied. “And I think Jamie was pretty damn sure this was one worth taking for you.”
Chapter 45
Avery Dawson was preparing his sermon for the following Sunday’s service when the door to his office at the church opened. He glanced up, surprised to see Monsignor Donahue standing in the doorway.
“Father Donahue,” Avery said, glancing at the calendar in front of him, “I’m sorry, did we have an appointment?”
The priest stepped into the office, and closed the door behind him. “No, Avery, we didn’t. Rest assured that this won’t last long. I’m simply here to put you on notice.”
“Notice?” Avery stood up behind his desk. There was no way he was going to allow the priest to continue looking down at him. “I’m not sure I follow.”
“It’s a small town, Dawson, and word spreads quickly as a result. Regardless of the fact that someone in my own parish has been affected by your deviant counseling methods, I’m sure many more in your own congregation have stories to tell.”
“I would appreciate your pledge in making this short, Donahue,” Avery snarled, purposely dropping his religious title just as the priest had done with him. “I’m busy here.”
Father Donahue narrowed his eyes before he spoke next. “I’ve stood by and watched the despicable spin you fabricated when faced with the truth in front of your own congregation. You threw your own stepdaughter into the lion’s den of lies and evil which you created to cover up your own moral atrocities!”
“Now see here!” Avery shouted, taking a step closer to where the priest stood.
“No, you listen to what I’ve got to say, Avery. I’ve written a letter to the Southern Baptist Council in Birmingham, giving them enough information to investigate your sick and twisted behavior. You’re a sexual deviant who hides behind some religious façade in order to groom your victims. I’m appalled at the fact that Donna Gardner has stood by and allowed this to happen to her own daughter!”
“It’s Dawson. She’s my wife, and it’s Donna Dawson!”
Father Donahue turned to take his leave, but before he did, he threw one last hateful look at Avery. “Donna’s a Catholic by baptism, Avery. Catholics don’t recognize marriages outside of the church.”
Before Avery could respond, the priest was out the door, leaving him enraged at the obvious disregard he had for the Baptist faith, and refusal to acknowledge the fact that Donna was most certainly his wife despite what the Catholic Church recognized!
It was much later that evening, after Avery had finally calmed down and retreated to his home office, that Father Donahue’s words played back in his mind.
“Regardless of the fact that someone in my own parish has been affected by your deviant counseling methods…”
Avery had been so angry after the exchange between the priest and himself earlier that day, he’d given little thought as to whom Donahue had been referring to with that statement.
Until now.
He tapped a pen nervously against the top of his wooden desk and, for the first time, he regretted having destroyed all of his counseling files.
He wracked his brain, and finally, it came to him.
Gwen Marshall.
The mother of those twins that were part of Sunny’s crowd. He now recalled that he had counseled Gwen for several months. She hadn’t been part of his congregation, but approached him because she hadn’t been comfortable discussing her marital issues with her own priest.
What did that say about Monsignor Donahue? And how dare a Catholic priest accuse him of being a sexual deviant?
Avery scoffed aloud, shaking his head at the hypocrisy involved in that statement.
Gwen had issues with the fact that her husband didn’t seem interested in marital relations after the birth of her twins. She was the one that had to initiate intimacy. As it turned out, being Catholics, birth control wasn’t an option for them. They had been using the rhythm method, which obviously hadn’t worked well with the birth of unplanned twins. Her husband had developed what Avery termed as acute sexual paranoia.
Avery had worked with her for several months, counseling her in the art of oral sex. She had finally mastered it, learning to not only deliver one well, but to view his climax as a spiritual reward, and one that she grew to savor. Over and over again. It was his heavenly nectar that had given their dwindling marriage the boost it had needed.
You’re welcome, Gwen, and thanks for the knife in my back as gratitude, you evil bitch he thought to himself.
But as the Bible said, “An eye for an eye…”
Maybe it was time he paid a visit to Gwen Marshall. If anything developed with Monsignor Donahue’s letter to the council, which he was sure it would not, Gwen Marshall owed him for stirring that pot.
Chapter 46
It had been a couple of months since my trip to Chicago with Melissa. True to his word, Michael Gardner, my father once again for all practical purposes, had kept his word.
I received a letter and telephone call from him every week, to talk and see how things were going for me. I learned that he had remarried several years back, but that marriage too had ended in divorce a year ago. He blamed himself for that
one, saying that getting his business off the ground had required twelve to fourteen hour work days for months at a time.
They had simply grown apart, he said, and it didn’t seem as though it bothered him all that much. He was pleased when I told him that I was taking my GED study classes. My test was scheduled for mid-June, and every time we talked, he made sure to mention it.
“Don’t worry, Dad,” I always said to him, “I’m not going to disappoint you on this.”
“I have every bit of faith in you, Sunny. I just know that you’re juggling a lot right now. How do you get around out there?”
“Just like in every other big city, I guess. Busses, cabs, hitchhiking.”
“Hitchhiking?” he asked alarmed. “Please tell me you don’t do that! Do you realize how dangerous that is?”
“Cool out, Dad,” I replied, laughing, “I’m just kidding. I’m not that dumb.”
“You almost gave your old man a heart attack,” he replied, his relief evident in his tone. “Maybe you’ll get a nice graduation present to solve that problem.”
If that was his way of ensuring I followed through, there was no need. I wanted my GED as much as he wanted me to get it. Now, if he wanted to reward me by helping me get a beater to tool around in? Well, who was I to trash the idea, right?
I was in my room, peeling off my clothes having just finished my shift at the diner. As I opened the top drawer of my dresser for clean underwear, the stack of unopened letters from Gina caught my eye. Again.
I pulled them out, fanning through them.
There were nine in total. The last one arrived about two weeks ago and, like the others, I had simply tossed it on top of the stack in my drawer.
My refusal to open them was my way of punishing my former best friend I guess. I’m not a person that enjoys shunning another person, especially one that I’d held so dear to my heart like Gina. But, I just couldn’t get past the fact that she’d done nothing to intercede when all the shit went down last year.
She was in possession of every damn piece of evidence we had against Avery and yet, when I asked her again and again to give it to me so that I could dispute his evil allegations, and clear my name in the community, she’d flat out refused.
“I can’t Sunny, I would if I could, but it would kill Mom if people knew she was involved! And if Eddie found out? Shit, her marriage would be toast! I just can’t be responsible for that, don’t you get it?”
“No, Gina, I don’t,” I’d told her. “How am I supposed to deal with all the lies, the looks, and the nasty-ass whispering behind my back?”
“Come on, Sunny,” she’d pleaded, “you know what’s in those files and tapes. It’s not just me, you know? What about the twins, huh? It would expose Gwen Marshall, which would just kill them, not to mention their parents’ marriage. Have you thought about that? And then there’s your mother. What about her? I totally understand why you want Avery out of your life—and hers, but have you considered what it might do to her? She loves the asshole.”
“Yeah,” I scoffed, “apparently much more than she loves me.”
“All this shit will die down eventually. Can’t you just hang in there?”
I hadn’t wanted to hang in there. But I also had not wanted to ruin my friends’ lives by exposing Avery as the fraud and damn liar he was. Maybe things would die down as Gina had suggested, but I’d decided then and there I wasn’t going to wait around for that to happen. It was clear I had nobody’s support, so the best I could do was support myself. It was then that I’d decided to contact my brother. He was one person I knew would understand.
“Sure, Gina,” I’d replied, “I’m sure, in time, things will pass.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you, Sunny. My mom’s been such a mess with worry over this. I told her you were strong enough to withstand whatever that asshole spewed about you. In time, people will see for themselves just what a fucking monster he is. It’s called karma.”
A week later I’d taken a bus out of Layton, heading for California. I’d never even told Gina I was leaving. And now? With Gina sending letters to me and my continued disregard for them by not opening them, maybe that was her cross to bear. At least, that’s what I thought.
But things had changed over the last eight months. The anger I’d felt had dissipated a lot. And, the fact that the whole ugly situation had brought me closer to my brother than ever before, along with Melissa’s support and almost sisterly affection towards me counted for something, didn’t it?
And then there was the matter of Michael Gardner. If things hadn’t happened the way they did, I would’ve never gotten him back in my life. So, I suppose to be fair, I had to consider the good that had come out of such an evil situation.
Besides that, it wasn’t good to hold grudges against people you cared about. No matter what Gina had done or, in this case, failed to do, the fact that I continued to ignore her letters as a form of dishing out karma wasn’t a healthy thing for me to do.
I sighed, and grabbed the most recent letter from the top of the pile and sat down on my bed to read it.
Sunny,
I don’t know if you’re reading these letters, or just tossing them in the trash. I wouldn’t blame you one damn bit if you are tossing them, but I’m going to keep sending them just in case you’re not.
Once again, I’m so damn sorry for not standing up for you when I should have. It was fucked up of me to play it off as something that you should endure until things died down. What the hell was wrong with me?
I don’t blame you for being angry, or leaving town on account of this shit, or hating me for the rest of your life if you want to. I know I played on your conscience with telling you how many lives would be affected if we came forward with our proof, but that was me being selfish I guess.
The truth is, I should’ve stood up to my mother regardless as to whether the truth would hurt her marriage. I love her, and I love my stepfather, but it was wrong of her to drag you and me into this soap opera shit to begin with!! My mother made a mistake. I know it and she knows it, but it’s not right that you are the one paying for it!
I can’t believe when I went and saw your mother and showed her everything she’s never done shit about it!
I immediately stopped reading her letter, tossed it on the bed and grabbed the rest of the pile from my dresser drawer. I had to find the letter where she approached my mother. How long ago had it been?
After tearing through six letters, scanning each one for that particular topic, I found it. Apparently, Gina had gone to see Mama about a month after I’d left Layton. Sure enough, Gina had told her everything and had taken all the files to back up her story. Obviously Mama preferred to live in denial, which shouldn’t have surprised me, and yet somehow it did.
When did she become so weak?
I knew the answer to that one. Mama had never really been an emotionally strong woman. Yeah, she’d been feisty and spirited; lived her life the way she wanted and didn’t give a flying fart who thought what about her, but to say she was independent? No, that could never have been said about her.
She’d held a job and made a home for us, but when I looked back, there were only short gaps between the men who came and went in her life. For whatever reason, Mama had always needed a man to define who she was, and once she latched onto the man she believed to be the best catch in the county, she’d never been the same.
Avery Dawson, with his overwhelming presence and his gift of powerful persuasion, had succeeded in brainwashing Mama just as he had done with many of the people in Layton.
But I wasn’t about to let any of them off the hook just yet.
I picked Gina’s latest letter back up from where I’d tossed it on the bed.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know a couple of new developments. First of all, I talked to my mom—AGAIN! I told her it was about time we came clean with what we have, no matter what! If Eddie can’t handle it, then so be it. Keeping it all inside of her is not good for anyone. I
also told her that if she was hell-bent on saving her ass for her own benefit, than she’s not the mother I thought she was! As long as Avery Dawson is not held accountable, he will continue to prey on other women and that’s just not cool. And that I would lose all respect for her and she could kiss my ass goodbye.
So, she is on board. But I want you to come back, Sunny. I want us all to face this together. You always have a place to stay with us.
The other thing is that Robin was attacked. I know the twins weren’t supportive of you at all, not allowed to even talk to you, but you know damn well that was Gwen’s orders trying to protect her own damn ass!
Anyways, it was a couple of weeks ago. She was waiting for her mother to pick her up after she stayed late after softball practice to hit the batting cages at the park. She was alone, and it was dark in the lot. Some asshole with a mask on came out of nowhere and tried to rip her shirt off! He managed to push her to the ground and was on top of her. She fought as hard as she could, and screamed her fucking head off. Finally, her mom pulled up and flashed her brights on them. Gwen thought it was some kid from school wrestling around with her, until he stood up and she saw he had a mask on. He ran like hell into the woods behind the ballpark.
Shook Robin up plenty. Her mother won’t let either one of them out alone and moved their curfew up to ten o’clock even on weekends!
They filed a police report, but so far nothing. Can you believe it? Layton might have a creepy stalker or worse.
Anyhow Sunny, I hope like hell you’re reading this. Please, please call me or write back. It’s time you come on home!
Gina XOXO
I folded her letter back up and stuck it inside the envelope. Maybe she was right. I took no comfort in the fact that Robin had been attacked, or that Gina had more or less given her mother an ultimatum, but for the first time, I realized that there was no way in hell I was gonna let Avery Dawson win—come hell or high water.