The odd thing about having two partners was that each one fit a particular need.
Josh was her strength and her protector. He’d go on the rampage if it meant saving her from harm. He was the one who could fix anything around the house, and who she called on to save her from spiders in the bath.
She loved him, needed him as she did Luke, but Luke was there, constantly at her side. He was her helpmate, sustaining her emotionally and mentally.
He was her guide, her adviser.
If she needed to talk something out, he was the one she went to, and if she needed to know what she ought to wear to one of the fancy and boring-as-hell shindigs they sometimes had to attend in honor of either man’s job, then he was her go-to guy.
It was why these last months had been so hard. He’d been despondent, reticent even. She’d lost him to the deployment long before the plane took off to parts unknown.
Gia moved her hand and reached for his. He’d curled it around her belly, and she clutched at his fingers, knowing if she was to get through the time without him she’d have to embrace these moments. Revel in the memories of being tucked alongside Luke’s slightly damp body as she was now. Luxuriate in being his as much as he was hers.
She had to take comfort from the fact no benevolent God or deity or whatever, fate or serendipity—call it what you will—could give her this wonderful man only to take him away now.
At least, that was what Gia prayed. She only hoped someone somewhere was listening.
Chapter One
Four months later
“This is bullshit.” Josh stared down at the file in his hand. “Do you hear me?”
Covering her mouth with her fingers, Gia watched as Josh released his grip and, in a flurry of papers, smashed his fist against the desk. She’d been watching him berate the poor bastard on the other end of the line for the last half hour, but as angry as he became, the more strings he tried to pull, the more infuriated he was when news about their partner, Luke Gray, wasn’t forthcoming.
“You’re not listening to me. This is Lieutenant Colonel Gray we’re talking about. This is not some green, pimple-pocked private. I need information and I need it now, goddammit. You know Luke, Jeremy. You know him. Does this sound like something he’d do?”
“Is he okay?” she whispered, her quiet words jerking him from his fury. He turned to face her, catching her attention. The rage she saw buried within the depths scorched her, but she could handle that; it was the fear that lay beneath that rocked her world. Josh was scared of nothing. At least, he never let on that he was.
Seeing his trepidation concerned her all the more—it made her lungs burn with panic. He must have noticed, because he unclenched a fist and slowly patted the air, attempting to temper her concern before he returned his attention to the call. It didn’t stop her from worrying, but she appreciated the effort.
Those three words, that simple question, they were all she was capable of saying though she wanted to say more. She wanted to pester him for information, blast him with queries, but Gia had been virtually silent ever since Josh’s personal cell had beeped when they’d all been eating breakfast. One of his friends within the service had given him a heads-up on the situation and had singlehandedly turned their world upside down.
Josh’s current tone of voice was one she’d termed “B-G badass” a long time ago. It wasn’t often used under their roof, especially not in front of Lexi, so the instant she’d heard it at the breakfast table, terror had filled her.
“I want him back on US soil within the next seventy-two hours.” She wasn’t sure why he glowered down at the desk, but she was relieved to hear his dictate. It meant Luke was whole enough to travel. That made the burn in her lungs settle down into a low simmer. “You fucking hear me now, Staff Sergeant Evans, you will put the orders through. Any investigations can take place once he’s back home. I don’t care what protocol states, you heed my fucking words.“
When he slammed the receiver down, Gia watched on as he rested his palms on the desk, head bowed, tension rippling along his spine. The sounds of his heavy breathing were a testament to his anger, but his face was a tense mask. It showed her relatively little in the scheme of things.
“What’s going on?” she questioned, taking a hesitant step closer to his desk. It was like approaching a wounded tiger in his den. Except she wasn’t afraid of him, simply afraid of why he was wounded. “I can take it. Don’t hold back, because I need to know. Is he okay?”
“He’s been injured.” Josh sucked in a sharp breath, then a smoother one. That alone told her he was trying to remain calm. “He’ll heal. He’s fucked-up, but he’s alive.”
He looked at her, and the somberness she saw made her frown. “What is it?”
“He’s been discharged, Gia. OTH.”
“What does that mean?”
“Other Than Honorable.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s been released for misconduct.”
She blinked, astounded at the prospect. “Luke? Our Luke? He’s been discharged for misconduct?” she squeaked, then before he could reply, blurted out, “What did he do? I thought he’d been injured. What the fuck’s going on?”
“That prick wouldn’t say, but I’ll put in a request to see his file.”
“You don’t work in the same department. Why should they let you see it?”
“I have a lot of friends. Luke does too. They’ll help out. Why do you think Charles called this morning? He wanted me to get a handle on this FUBAR situation.”
Gia disregarded that. To be honest, she didn’t care if Luke never worked as a soldier again. What mattered was his health. What mattered was that he could come home. She tried to focus on that and not the crazy matter of the discharge.
“When is he coming back?”
“I don’t know. You heard what I said on the phone, but it depends if Evans does as I commanded or questions my authority. Which he will.” He rubbed his temple, then after sighing, caught her gaze and speared her with his earnestness as he murmured, “I’ll get to the bottom of this. I promise.”
She nodded and settled a hand on his back. His tension transmitted to her, and Gia clenched her eyes at its presence. It was worse than he was telling her; he was holding something back, and where Josh was concerned, that was never a good thing.
“As long as he’s okay, we can cope with the rest.”
Josh shook his head. “I don’t know, Gia. We’ll see. For a lieutenant colonel to be discharged OTH, there’s already been a hearing. He’s lucky he hasn’t been court-martialed. Or maybe that’s in the cards. I’m not sure.”
She gawked at him. “You can’t be serious.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything about this fucking situation.” He roared out his fury, swiping his hand over the surface, shoving papers, his laptop, and God knew what else over the side.
He didn’t stop until the room vibrated with his anger and his fear and the floor was littered with shards of expensive equipment.
At heart, Josh was a control freak. Anything he couldn’t control, he detested and actively avoided. In this, he was at a loss, and though she felt half mad at the notion Luke was injured, lying in a hospital bed half the world away, that Josh couldn’t control this scenario frightened her.
She looked at the mess he’d made, swallowed down her panic, and retreated from the office. If he needed her, it would be later when he’d calmed down some. As it was, she’d only hinder him, stop him from expressing his rage, and he needed to let it out. He needed to get back in control because if anyone could sort this mess out, it was Josh.
Nine months without Luke had seemed like a prospect made in hell on this, they hoped, his last deployment, but court martials could lead to jail.
Worse still, prison.
Dear God.
Years without him. Without his love. Without his presence at her side.
Pressing her back against the wall, she wished like hell they could restart the day, or at least, fas
t-forward until the moment Luke was coming home. Whatever the consequences of his return, she’d deal with it because it meant he was here, rather than in some godforsaken part of the world.
It had been four months since he’d left. Since Josh and he had married. Four long months without him, and that would be nothing if she lost him because of a court martial.
This entire situation was messed up, had been from the start.
Firstly, Luke had withheld news of the deployment from them all. He’d been so certain this deployment was going to be different from all his others, that he was flying into something that was way over his head…and apparently, his instincts had been dead right.
Secondly, it was a covert op. Covert enough that every inch of it was secret.
Just before he’d left, he’d told them on the downlow it was Iraq, but he might have been lying about that too. The shit had been hitting the fan in Libya of late—maybe he was there. Ducking for cover as the local militia fought off the ISIS invasion.
It was torture. Knowing, not knowing. He hadn’t been in touch for the last six weeks. They’d managed a quick four minutes over an IM line, but that was it, and then, this morning, there’d come the call from Charles, then a knock at the door. Josh had hurried down the stairs and returned looking like death warmed up. His fury was a physical entity, and she’d seen him mad, but never like this.
Even now, as she stayed here, letting the wall support her, keep her upright, she could hear the sounds of his rage as he kept on tearing into his office.
For him to be this furious, she knew it was bad. It was confirmation that this was worse than what he’d said. And what he’d said hadn’t exactly been promising.
Tears leaked from her eyes as she thought of the trouble Luke could be in.
He’d never have done anything to jeopardize his getting back home. They were here, waiting for him—he would never have done anything to ruin it.
She had to believe that the man she knew and respected would shine through.
She had to have faith in him.
Her chin trembled at the thought. Faith was one thing, but it wouldn’t help if they were up against the United States’ Armed Forces.
“Oh God, Luke, what the hell have you done?” she whispered, and when no answer was forthcoming, the tears fell harder and she wept.
Chapter Two
Four weeks later
“He’s here!” Lexi cried from the family room. She’d been glued to the window seat for the last four hours, waiting for her papa to come home.
Hell, if Lexi hadn’t been stuck to the window, she would have been. Gia needed to see him.
Desperately.
Ever since this nightmare had started, it had been incredibly difficult being away from Luke. More than ever, she’d needed him, had needed to talk to him, to ask him what was truth and what was lie.
Not that she needed to wonder what the lies were.
There was no way in hell he’d done what they said he had.
She refused to believe it.
That was not Luke. He was not a rapist.
Luke was in the army to bring peace, not war. Bizarre as it was, he was a pacifist. A bringer of love and that was what had drawn him to her. Like a moth to a damn flame.
She had to have faith in that.
It didn’t matter what the witnesses said or the so-called proof that had been spouted around: it was bullshit.
She knew it, Josh knew it, and the rest of the world should have known it too. Unfortunately, it was the latter that counted. It was the latter that could send Luke to jail for a crime he hadn’t committed.
At the sound of an engine crunching to a halt and wheels spinning against their loose gravel drive, Gia hurried from the kitchen, her feet slipping on the floorboards as she ran. Ever since she’d learned he was coming home, she’d been obsessed with getting the house clean. That meant some parts were so “hygienic” they were a fire hazard.
Nearly slamming into the front door thanks to the overwaxed floor, she yanked it open, then pulled a pirouette when Lexi slammed out of nowhere and rushed out into the yard to meet her daddy.
The army Jeep sat there, engine vibrating, small curlicues of heat blurring the lines of the hood as Luke tried to get out of the vehicle.
She stood there, staring at him, so goddamn grateful he was alive that for a second, she watched. Absorbing the fact he was here; on the same continent, in the same city, on the same land.
Lexi was equally transfixed. She gawked, her little frame quivering with the need to go to her father, but he was so stiff, Lexi registered how much pain he was in too.
Alighting from the car looked like a task in torture in itself. “Luke,” she gasped out, hurting for him.
His head turned so quickly it could have given him whiplash. Spying the bruises in every shade of the rainbow, and the cuts and tears on his face when she finally caught a glimpse of him, made the muscles in her belly clench. She ran forward, forgetting to take care in her haste to be close. She collided into him, wrapping him so tightly in her embrace that he gritted out, “Relax, baby, you’re hurting me.”
She stopped squeezing him and peered up at him as a little body clashed into theirs. “Papa!”
He groaned again, and she knew Lexi was hurting him too. Considering their little girl could only just pick up a gallon of milk without dropping it, the chances of her hurting her daddy were close to nil. That meant the bruises went deep.
Foot deep. Fist deep.
He’d been beaten. Recently, too. Though he was injured from a bomb blast, that had been over a month ago. Some bastards had laid into him and caused these extra injuries. She’d seen wounds from a beating far too often to be mistaken. The memories were painful, buried in the past, but they were as fresh as though they’d happened yesterday.
She pulled away from him, half turning to let Lexi stand between them, and rested a hand on their daughter’s shoulder, murmuring, “Let go, darling, we’re hurting Papa.”
Lexi pouted but did as she was told, and as she pulled away, she looked up at him and bit her lip. Her attention was on Luke, but her question was aimed at Gia. “What’s wrong with Papa’s face?”
That was as polite as a five-year-old could get.
He’d been assaulted, that was obvious. But it wasn’t like she could tell her baby girl that.
“He’s just arrived home, Lexi. From the Middle East. Remember we talked about that in geography?”
Lexi nodded, her sage eyes widening. The Middle East featured prominently in their classes. Gia supposed it was only natural for her to be curious as to where her father had gone and why. It had been damn hard watering world events down to make them understandable and palatable for such a young if wise child though.
“Are you okay, Papa?” she asked, her joy in his arrival fading as reality resurfaced and Lexi started to equate the bruises with pain.
“It’s good to be home,” he half whispered, totally avoiding her question. “How are my girls?”
Her cheeky grin peeped out, revealing two dimples that rivaled the sun with their brightness. “I like being at home too, Papa. It’s school now as well, and Mommy is a great teacher. I keep getting As on the tests she makes me take.”
His eyes were misty as he looked down at their baby. With a tender hand, he passed it over her hair, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “That’s good to hear, darling. You’ve been good for Daddy and Mommy since I’ve been gone?”
“Yep. I’ve done all my schoolwork, and if I get my homework done, then I can read. And I don’t have to go in the playground.” She shuddered. “It was dirty there.”
Gia burrowed her face into Luke’s chest. “I’ve given her OCD,” she whispered into his shirt, expecting a huff of laughter or a teasing retort.
Only it triggered nothing. Nada.
The crisp cotton of his button-down rubbed against her nose. He smelled of detergent, soap, antiseptic, and Luke. It was the latter that she wanted to pull in
more than oxygen, but it was telling that he wasn’t wearing BDUs but civvy clothes.
He was no longer a soldier, so that made sense, still… It was odd and not in a good way. After all these years of seeing him in fatigues, occasionally in his spare time too, it was strange to see him wearing something normal during the day.
That wasn’t the only thing she noticed. His reactions were dulled. Like he was on a kind of time delay. Hell, maybe he was.
Only God knew where his head was, and who could blame him?
As though he were somewhere else and the words had managed to cross a hellishly long distance, he finally reacted: a snort. Then, a soft chuckle. “If anyone gave her OCD, it’s Josh.”
“Yeah, we’ll blame him,” she mumbled around a laugh. Gia took a deep breath, once more sucking in the delicious essence that was her man. “God, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so damn badly. It’s been hell without you.” The words gushed free.
“I’m home now,” he murmured huskily. When he lifted a hand to cup the back of her neck, he groaned in pain, but sucked it up to continue, “Everything’s going to be okay.”
She looked up at him. Eyed the lines of strain about his mouth, the pinched cheeks, and the new frown lines dissecting his brow. Everything didn’t look like it was going to be okay. Regardless, she had to ask, “You promise?”
Gia didn’t want to be needy, she didn’t want to pester him for reassurance, but at that moment, she felt like Lexi. An ingenue in a crazy, fool’s world.
Luke and Josh had protected her so much from their careers that she had little to no idea what they actually did. Now, she felt out in the dark and out in the cold when those careers were playing such pivotal roles in her world.
Thinking about it made her feel pathetic. That she didn’t know more about what they did was crazy.
How could a woman who had been their partner for close to six years not know at least some of the ins and outs of their careers? The only thing she could use to excuse herself was the fact her guys weren’t regular lance corporals. They were high up in the ranks, officers. Luke was, or had been, a lieutenant colonel, and Josh was a brigadier general.
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