by Nicole Hart
Chapter 11
Jase wasn't kidding when he said this hitch would be a different. I was used to my morning texts and evening talks. I wasn't really getting that this time. He would call when he could but the signal was horrible in Addis, the little town they were staying in during the rig move. He assured me it would be better once they got settled in the man camp. But it had been almost a week and it wasn't better yet. I knew he was having a tough hitch too which made it worse. I felt bad for him. He sounded stressed out. Apparently everything that could go wrong, was. He kept telling me he was fine but I could hear tension in his voice.
And now it was Sunday night, I was lying in bed with a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough, feeling sorry for myself. When I heard a text come through I jumped off my bed and grabbed the phone.
Jase: I miss you
Me: I miss you baby!
Jase: Going to get a drink with the crew, call you in a bit.
Me: Ok, be careful. love you
Jase: Love you more
So I sat, and I waited. And waited. I knew it was good for him to unwind and have a drink. Jase rarely drank so I knew he must be stressed. But I really missed him. I wanted to hear his voice. I didn't want to bother him but I couldn't wait anymore so I dialed his number.
"Hello" Jase picked up the phone after a few rings.
"Hey" I said "Are you busy?"
"Hey baby" He said, with a little slur. "I was gonna call you when I got back to the room."
"It's ok." I said. But the truth was, my feelings were a little hurt he hadn't called me yet.
There was lots of noise in the background. There was definitely a crowd at the bar.
"Hey Romeo, you want a beer!" I heard a male's voice yell.
"Yeah, dude" Jase said.
"Romeo huh?" I asked.
Everybody's got a nickname baby."
"Babe, you're not driving tonight are you?" I asked. I was already stressed enough, I definitely couldn't handle worrying about him drinking and driving.
"Nah...the bar is at the motel" He said a little too slowly. I had never heard Jase drunk or even with a buzz. It was definitely different.
"Jase! Come play pool with us!" I heard a female yell in the background.
What the fuck?!?
"Who was that?" I asked. I was immediately pissed.
"It's nobody baby. I promise"
There was a pause and then "Fuck" Jase said.
"Baby, I gotta call you back my..."
Nothing. Silence.
I tried to compose myself. I was shaking. I was pissed. I tried to call Jase back. Voicemail.
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! What the fuck was that? Who was that? I was freaking out.
I tried to call him again. Voicemail.
Son of a bitch! He wouldn't do this to me. Would he? No he wouldn't. But he was drinking. People did stupid shit when they drank. Oh my God. This can't be happening. I can't handle this.
I paced around my room for about 30 minutes before I tried to call again. Voicemail.
Cherokee Inn. I grabbed my keys and my purse and headed to the door. I googled the address when I got in my car and put it in my GPS.
Fuck that! I was not going to be played for a fool. He wouldn't do this to me. He couldn't. He promised. Trust was everything. His words rang through my mind. Was I crazy? Psycho was probably a better description for what I was doing. But I didn't care. I had to know. Even if I had to see it with my own eyes. The image of Jase with someone else made my stomach turn. I had seen it with Derek and it hurt. But Jase. I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't make it through this. But I had to know. I kept rubbing my fingers across my necklace. I hadn't taken it off since Jase gave it to me. God. Please help me.
I tried shut my emotions off and I drove in silence. No radio. Nothing. Just me and the sick knot in my stomach.
Addis 8 miles.
It was 1:54 am. I had been driving for almost 5 hours. I was numb at this point. Until I saw the neon sign "Cherokee Inn"
My entire body started trembling. Holy Shit. I didn't know if I could do it. I had to. I didn't have a choice. I drove into the shitty little motel parking lot and immediately spotted his truck.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I put my car in park beside his truck. I spotted his muddy boots outside the room in front of his truck. Room 21.
I jumped out of my car and went to the door and started banging. Nothing.
I kept banging and finally heard rustling through the door.
"Who the fuck?" I heard Jase mumble. The walls were thin. I heard the door unlock and Jase stood in the doorway looking half asleep and confused.
"Lainey?" He whispered as I rushed past him.
"Lainey, what are you doing here?" He said, completely confused.
I immediately started scanning the room. I walked past the bed and to the bathroom. No one was here.
Shit. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do.
So I just stood there in silence.
"Wait a minute" Jase said when he realized what was going on. "Did you think I had someone else here?"
I didn't speak.
"Answer me, Lainey" He was pissed.
I started trying to explain.
"I heard a girl in the background. You hung up on me. You didn't answer my calls. You were drinking." I started yelling. I was trying to justify myself.
"So you drove 5 hours because you thought I was fucking around on you!" He yelled.
"Yes" I admitted. It was the truth. It's all I could say.
"The girl you heard was my derrick hands wife. He lives close to here so she came to stay with him. My phone went dead, I was trying to tell you. Yes, I was drinking. I'm fucking stressed out. I should have called you back when I got back to the room. I didn't want to wake you, I knew you had to work in the morning."
I still couldn't speak. And Jase wasn't finished.
"Fuck Lainey! You think leaving you doesn't fuck with my head too!" He yelled. "I get scared you're gonna find somebody better! But you have to trust me! And believe me! I'M NOT HIM!"
“I would never do anything to lose you! Ever since I laid eyes on you, it's only been you Lainey! I can't see anyone but you! I would never do anything to fuck that up. I can't!"
Then he sat down on the bed and let out a heavy sigh.
“I have you Lainey, I could never go back to life without you. I can't even fucking fathom it." He said quietly.
I walked to the door and put my hand on the doorknob. The tears started to fall. Uncontrollably. How could I think Jase could do that to me? He's always been good to me. I had really messed things up. I didn't deserve him. I needed to go.
"What are you doing?" He said.
"I'm leaving" I whispered "I'm sorry."
"You can't leave" He said and I felt him directly behind me.
I was trembling. I couldn't stop the tears.
"I'm sorry Jase" I said and my legs gave out. It was too much. I couldn't handle this.
Jase caught me in his arms and carried me to the bed. I continued to sob.
"Baby, I'm sorry for yelling. I'm sorry for not calling you back. I'm sorry I didn't explain who the girl was. I wasn't thinking. I had a buzz."
"No, Jase stop. It was me. It's my issues. It's not your fault. I don't deserve you."
"Are you serious baby? You deserve so much more than I could ever give you. But I'll try baby. I'll try my hardest to give you everything you deserve. Because you're it for me Lainey. You're all that matters."
“I love you Jase. God, so much."
"I love you baby" Jase said and kissed me tenderly.
He laid down on the bed and pulled me beside him. He wrapped his arms around me.
“I'm sorry" I repeated.
"Stop" He said. "Don't apologize again. Please"
All I could do was shake my head. The tears continued to fall until I drifted to sleep.
4:45 am
I heard the beeping of an alar
m and Jase started to stir. As I started to wake, the events of last night replayed in my mind. I was an idiot. How could I not trust him? He had never given me a reason. I can't believe I drove five hours ready to catch him cheating. Derek really had messed my head up, whether I wanted to admit it or not. Jase wrapped his arms around me tighter.
"I hate the reason you drove all this way, but I'm glad you're here."
"I'm s.."
"Don't" He interrupted me "Don't say it. It's my fault too. I should have left right then and charged my phone. I would have probably flipped the fuck out if I was you."
"You would have?" I asked. That statement made me feel a little better.
"Hell yeah, if I heard some dude and then you didn't answer your phone. Baby, I would have lost my fucking mind."
"I've just been missing you like crazy, it got to me" I said.
"I know baby. Just don't look under the bed" Jase said playfully.
I whipped my head around and gave him a glare.
"Too soon?" He asked with a chuckle.
"Too soon." I said as I pinched his nipple.
"Ow!" Jase laughed and then asked "What about work?"
Shit, I forgot about work!" I was so pissed, it didn't even cross my mind. Luckily I had never called in before, so it shouldn't be a big deal. "I'll work it out though."
"Don't you have a safety meeting at 5:30?" I asked when I looked at the clock, it was almost 5.
"Yeah, I gotta leave at 5:15. I got a few minutes" Jase said as he kissed my neck.
"Fifteen minutes, Jase?" I asked. He always took his time, I didn't think he could do it.
"Baby, I haven't been able to touch you in a week, all I need is 5 minutes" Jase said as he flipped me on my back and grabbed the seam of my panties.
"Well come on then" I said with a giggle as I pulled him closer to me.
I was barely out of Addis when I needed to stop for gas. I took the opportunity to shoot Dr. Weston an email and let him know I was taking a sick day. That's when I noticed a text from Sam, 4 texts actually in the last 30 minutes. I had the radio up and didn't even hear my phone.
Sam: where are you?
Sam: are u ok?
Sam: ?????
Sam: ok i'm freaking out now.
Me: Sorry, Long story. I'm on my way back from Addis. I'll explain later. I'm ok.
Sam: Fuck yeah you will! Be careful!
Me: 10-4
Once I got home, all I wanted to do was crawl in my bed. Ten hours of driving plus only 2 hours sleep had got to me. Not to mention my emotions being in complete overdrive. I was physically and emotionally drained. I needed sleep.
Jase: just checking on you
Me: Just got home, about to sleep
Jase: I miss you already. I love you
Me: Me too. I love you more
Jase: Not possible. get some sleep
I drifted off to sleep and a few minutes later I heard the front door close and the daily thud of Sam's suitcase. I looked at my phone which was still in my hand. It was 5:30. I had slept all afternoon.
"Ok, bitch, spill" Sam said as she opened my door and flopped down on the bed bedside me.
I gave her the whole pathetic story and waited for her reaction.
"Damn, psycho!" She laughed.
"Thanks Sam!" I said
"I'm just kidding, I would have went crazy too. I don't know if I would have drove all that way if it were Moon" Then she paused for a minute. "Yeah, I probably would have actually. But I probably would have taken my gun and been on an episode of Snapped." She said with complete honesty.
"Angel?" Yelled a deep voice from the living room.
"Daddy?" Sam gave me a confused look and then jumped off the bed.
"Daddy!" She yelled as she ran into the living room and dove into his arms.
I followed Sam into the living room. There was Joe, all 6'2 of him.
"I missed you Angel" He said as he kissed Sam on the head.
"Me too dad" She said with her face buried in his chest. "How long are you staying?" She looked up at him and asked.
"I can only stay a couple of days." Just then he looked in my direction "Lainey! Hey sweetie, how ya been? Sam told me you were back home."
"I'm good" As I gave him a side hug "Yeah I'm back for good"
"Glad to hear it, somebody needs to keep my angel in line"
"Daddy, I'm a good girl" Sam said with a straight face, although I'm not sure how she managed.
"Oh, honey, you ain't fooling nobody" He said as he ruffled her hair. "But girls, this old man is in need of some home cooking, what's for dinner?"
"I'll get started on dinner, so y'all can visit" I offered and headed to the kitchen.
I decided on chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and fried okra. If Joe needed home cooking I could deliver. Once I was finished with everything I called them to the kitchen as I set the table.
"Smells good Lainey" Joe said "So whatcha been up to?"
"Lainey's in love daddy and it's making her bat shit crazy" Sam said with a laugh.
"Out with it." Joe said as he shoved a heaping spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth.
And then I repeated the story to Joe.
"Love makes you do crazy shit sometimes" Joe said very matter of fact.
"I'm learning that" I said.
"But listen, Lainey, not every man is a prick. They ain't all like the piece of shit you got away from" Apparently Sam had filled him in.
"I know" I said as I looked down.
"And being in the oilfield is a hard life. But if he's what you want, then you work it out. And trust works both ways. I guarantee it's hard on him too."
"It is, he told me that." I said softly.
"Trust me" Joe said as he pointed his finger to his chest. "This old man has been doing this a long time, it ain't for everybody. I learned that the hard way. But when it's meant to be, you figure it out."
Chapter 12
Joe stayed for two nights and then he was back to work. Sam took a couple of vacation days so she would be able to spend time with him. It made me so happy to see Sam with her dad. She really loved that man. But then again, it made me sad, because I missed mine. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't jealous, I was genuinely happy she had Joe. Just a little sad for me. Which always made me think of Jase and his dad. Jay was still alive. What was he like now? Was he sober? Was he sorry? Those were the thoughts that plagued me. I wanted to know the answers, for Jase. He was so stubborn and determined that he didn't need him in his life. I wasn't so sure. The things his dad put him through really scarred him. I just wanted him to heal, instead of ignoring the pain and keeping it buried. But every time I brought it up to Jase, he never wanted to talk about it. But I wouldn't give up, I would just give him time.
Sam and I decided it was Christmas tree decorating and wine night. The bar scene didn't appeal to Sam as much as it did before so it seemed like a fun way to spend our Saturday night.
"Guess what?" Sam said as she wrapped lights around the tree.
"What?"
"My dad has a girlfriend!" Sam said, although I couldn't quite read the expression on her face.
"He does?" I said in shock.
"Yeah, her name is Vickie. She's a waitress at the restaurant he eats at all the time, down the road from the rig."
"Wow! Are you ok with that?" I don't ever remember Joe having a girlfriend. It was always just him and Sam. Once he started working away from home Sam never mentioned anyone, I never even thought about it.
"Yeah, as long as she's good to him and not after his money or something. I'm always worried about my daddy being alone. But if she hurts him, I will cut a bitch"
"I'll help you!" I said "I'm glad he got to come in for a couple of days though"
"Me too, he said he'll be home for Christmas though."
"Yay! But have you told him about you and Moon?"
"God no. I just mentioned his name and I believe his words were 'You better not let that little fucker get you in troub
le' So I decided to hold off" Sam said with a laugh
"Well he just remembers Moon as the crazy kid that used to get us all in trouble in high school. He didn't even try to hide the stuff he did"
“I know. But I want my dad to know who he is now. He's a good guy, he deserves a redo."
"Then you should just talk to him, he'll listen to you, you've got him wrapped around your finger."
"I hope so. I'll tell him. I want to spend Christmas with both of them so I have to."
"So have you told Moon that you love him yet?" I asked Sam. Because it really was obvious that she did.
"No. I'm waiting for him to say it first. I can tell he's holding back on me."
"Can you blame him? You sprinted out the door when he asked to date you"
"You're never gonna let me live it down are you?" Sam said as she threw an ornament at me.
"Probably not" I said as I caught it.
Christmas Eve
It was already the best Christmas ever. I knew Jase wouldn't be home every Christmas because of work but I was thankful he would be here for this one and I was going to enjoy it. He was sleeping peacefully so I snuggled up to him and let out a sigh. It was funny how just waking up with him made my day better. It changed my whole mood. He made everything better. I heard the ding of my phone.
Sam: OMG. I need your help!
Me: What's wrong?
Sam: This pie is runny. My cake tastes sour. What the fuck does it mean for dough to rest?????? I need you!!!
Me: Lol. Ok. Give me just a little bit and I'll come help.
Sam: UR a lifesaver Lainey boo boo!
I knew how important tomorrow was for her. She wanted everything to be perfect. She told her dad about Moon and he agreed to give him a chance. Like I said, wrapped around her finger. Joe was also bringing Vickie to meet Sam. I hadn't even met the lady yet, but I already said a prayer for her. She might need it. Jase and I were also going to be there, honestly I wouldn't miss it. I loved Sam and wanted to be there for her. I also wanted a front row seat.
"Hey babe." I whispered "Babe"
"hmmm" was all I got