“I need to know why she decided to give me the pearls. Why didn’t she give them to Catherine?”
“You should know that she never felt about Catherine the way she did about you, Laila. To her, you were her family and the granddaughter she never had. She always said that you reminded her of my mother.” He gazed into my eyes without blinking, his tone serious without hesitation. “After I lost everything, Laila, I had to start over at square one and it really made me think about what was important to me. And when it came down to it, all the money and cars and houses meant nothing when it came to happiness. I knew that I’d made the greatest mistake of my life—leaving you. And in doing so, I ultimately ended up hurting the only person who truly loved me for the person that I was—and still am on the inside. I’m sorry I hurt you, Laila. But you need to know that you mean more to me than any material thing ever could. That’s why I couldn’t marry Catherine.”
Hearing him acknowledge the pain that he put me through when he left jogged something deep inside. I hadn’t known what it was that I needed to hear, but things were being made right again. Not necessarily with him, but his words. I didn’t feel the same way about him anymore and I knew where he was going. “Please Ethan, don’t.”
“Don’t what? Don’t tell you how I really feel? Nana Bea had no qualms about letting me know the magnitude of the mistake that I’d made. On a regular basis, she’d tell me to suck up all my pride and do whatever it would take to get you back in my life. And, so I’m here. I’ll get on my knees, if that’s what you need to see. You don’t have to make any decisions today, Laila, but believe me when I say that I love you. I never stopped loving you and I want you back. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to right my wrongs. You are the only thing in my life worth living for.”
Words clogged in my throat. I felt like abandoning him meant abandoning Nana Bea. I was even more confused than when I arrived.
“Laila, you don’t have to say anything. The pearls are for you. Ever since we lost my mom, her plan was always to give them to my wife, since she had no granddaughters to pass them down to. Some of her last words were that she wanted you to be my wife. They were always for you. If you look at the clasp, she had your initials inscribed.”
I pulled the necklace closer and on the inside of the clasp, the letters LMD. Laila Maria Dently. The name I would’ve had, if I had married Ethan. A written premonition of my future. “It makes me think, she knew something we didn’t.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if Nana Bea did know something we didn’t. Ethan was her pride and joy, but I still wished she were here right now to tell me what to do. Maybe we were two souls that would always find our way back to each other.
eighteen
The grand opening of The Sweet Tooth crept out of nowhere. I was a live wire, flitting about wildly. The store was ready, but I ran around polishing glass, buffing the floor, making sure every jelly bean and red vine were exactly in place. By the time we opened, my reflection glistened from every surface.
I hurriedly stepped outside to get the customer perspective from the entrance and back inside. The giant gumball dispenser greeted me cheerfully, anchoring all the displays surrounding it. Apothecary jars in every size were filled to the brim with confections of every flavor. Gargantuan wrapped candies and lollipops festively suspended in the air. Rows of chocolate bars arranged like dominoes guided the eyes on a tour of the space. The ice cream bar reminded me of old-time malt shops, complete with pink-and-black stools. Sweet aromas of rocky road ice cream and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies teased my nose. However, my favorite thing in the store by far was the huge gummy bear-shaped cotton candy maker, filled with cotton candy stuffing.
“Ready?” I asked my two newly hired employees, Ashley—Olivia’s younger sister—and Stephanie—Ashley’s best friend. They were the last of the finishing touches. All in black clothing with pink-and-black polka dot aprons tied at the neck and waist. They looked the way I’d imagined.
“Smile,” I directed them with one of my own spread from ear to ear, as a customer entered.
The next four hours went by in a sugary blur. Everyone I knew showed up. First, in hordes that I eloquently juggled, then sprinkles here and there between mobs of kids. I thought the crowd would taper off after the first fifty people got their sample bags and T-shirts, but they just kept on coming. Lena dropped by for a hot second. Brooke got stuck on a layover, so she couldn’t make it, but she called to wish me continued success. Even Ethan promised to stop in a little later. Mom and Dad made their obligatory appearance for a few minutes and then they quickly vacated the premises. Had it been a wine tasting, they’d have closed the place down, but sugar never was their forte. The amount of time they graced anyone with their presence was directly related to the profusion of wine. Possibly longer depending on whether it was red or white.
I said my last good-bye to my parents, when I saw Elle, Myles’ sister. Just the thought that I accused him of being engaged to her made me cringe. I could feel myself turning red and overanalyzing the whole thing. Had he told her about that, or was I even important enough for him to mention at all? I couldn’t figure out which was worse. Just the thought that she might know was mortifying. Running away wasn’t an option, considering it was my shop and I was supposed make people feel welcome.
“Hello. Welcome to the Sweet Tooth. How may I help you today?” I smiled. The closer I got to her, the more I thought how seeing her from a distance at the bridal salon, did not begin to do her justice. She was a knockout. Gorgeous with the perfect body. I’d have to starve and kill myself at the gym daily to get a body like that.
Immediately, she smiled. She recognized me. “Laila, how are you? It’s Elle, Myles’ sister.” Before I could respond, she wrapped me in her embrace. A true hugger.
Damn, I had to go and blab my big mouth and charge him with being involved with his own sibling. And she was nice, too. Which only made me feel worse. “Elle, I thought that was you, but I didn’t want to be wrong. Did you do something different with your hair?” Hair was safe because aside from styles, different angles changed a person completely.
“Just plopped it up in a ponytail, that’s all. Excuse the attire. Been working out and wanted to pop in to congratulate you on your opening.” As if she needed to work out at all. There were no parts of her body that needed to be toned or jiggly arm fat. Even her golden ponytail was perky and perfectly coiled into a springy curl. She was going on about something while I sized up her abs of steel, when I heard her say, “Myles has been raving about it. Has he shown up yet?”
“Not yet,” I stuttered. Yet? Suddenly, I was itching to get to a mirror to check my makeup and hair. There I was standing there with ice cream all over my apron, looking weathered with the day. I had to be dazzling when he arrived. Myles needed to regret ever ignoring my call. Ugh. Men never do the right thing the first time around.
Elle was sweet as pie, but havoc on my ears. The moment she said “Myles,” my mind checked out. I lost all interest in what she was saying, I just nodded and threw in an “uh-huh” every now and then. I scanned the room for a reason to step away. A friend waved from across the room, and I pretended it was urgent and excused myself. I felt badly that I didn’t even stop to chat with the girl, whose name I couldn’t place. It was more like a drive-by, but time was of the essence. If Elle thought Myles was already there, who knew how much time I had to freshen up. A little push up of the bra. New glaze on the lips. Touch up on the hair. And I was good to go.
When I returned to the floor, everything was a little more lifted. Not a moment too soon either. Myles was there, standing by the gumball machine with Elle. There wasn’t a casual way to make my way over, so I tried to look busy, hoping he’d be the one who’d find me. A few candy wrappers were on the floor, so I picked them up carefully as if the success of the shop hinged upon them.
By the time I finished pretending to be detained, I nearly had a conniption when I looked back at the two of them. Evid
ently, things could get worse. Much worse. Not only was Myles there, but Ethan joined them. And if that wasn’t enough, Myles and Ethan seemed to be knee-deep in conversation. What did they have to talk about? They met one time at my mother’s house, of all places. Why couldn’t Ethan just donate my stuff?
Anxiously, I went rip-roaring over. “Hello, all. Thanks for coming,” I interrupted abruptly just as Ethan explained how happy he was that we were giving our relationship another go. I felt my eyes widen in surprise. As if he knew what I was thinking, Myles gave me a cynical, knowing look, like he predicted that Ethan and I would be back together. His lips never parted, but his face said, “I told you so,” as if Ethan’s words strengthened his argument.
“So, Laila. I’m pleased to hear everything is working out with you and Ethan. They always say everyone deserves a second chance,” Myles remarked snidely.
Elle and Ethan smiled obliviously, none the wiser to the underlying meaning, clear only to Myles and me. Myles smirked, reveling in my discomfort. Something felt unfair about him knowing my history with Ethan, but Ethan being left in the dark about him.
Ugh, I wanted to hit him. He knew how to really get under my skin. “Yes, Myles. Second chances are great. It’s third and fourth chances that I’m worried about.” I settled for a verbal jab.
The playful banter between us wasn’t lost on Ethan. “So, Myles. You’re taking the pictures for Lena’s wedding, huh?”
“Yep. Got a nice plan picked out for her. I’ll capture all the must-have moments.”
“Lucky you. With Laila as her maid of honor, you two should be working pretty closely together.”
“Definitely hit the jackpot. Though, Laila is a wild one.”
“Oh. Is she?” Ethan questioned with a raised eyebrow. What he was really asking was did Myles know firsthand. Ethan had never been introduced to the uninhibited version of me that I unleashed on Myles. Nor, did I want him to know about it at that point. Before he could respond, continuing their game of “Whose lollipop was bigger,” I interrupted and changed the subject.
“Speaking of weddings. How’s the planning going, Elle?”
“Got the dress and most of my vendors. I’m practically done,” she said, keeping it simple, the one time I wanted her to elaborate.
“You’re nothing like my sister, Lena. She has a gigantic wedding planning book with an array of options for everything. I feel exhausted every time we meet.” Nervous laughter seeped out.
“You know. I knew you were opening a candy shop, but I never put it together that you did candy stations for weddings. Myles told me that you’re doing your sister’s wedding, and I was hoping you had an opening to do mine. It’s the last vendor I have left.”
“Absolutely! I’d love to. In fact, if you don’t mind, it would be great if I could take pictures of it to use for my brochure and website.”
“Sure.” Elle beamed. “Myles and his friend are photographing the wedding, so you could probably use those photos for your business shots.”
Myles chimed in to offer his services. He would enjoy that. Being in close proximity, where it would be impossible for me to escape him.
“Uh…all right.” I hesitated. Not only would I have to work with him to coordinate Lena’s wedding shots, but add Elle’s candy station into the pot and we’d be together almost on a daily basis.
Leave it to Elle to add more fuel to the fire, “Oh, in case you need to mark your calendar. The big day is Valentine’s Day. Only six months to go. Eek!” she shrieked with delight. “Ooh. I can hardly contain myself.” Her demeanor shifted suddenly. “Hope that doesn’t mess up any plans that you and Ethan have for that day. I know it’s a day for romance and love. Maybe you can come with her if you don’t already have plans, Ethan?”
And wouldn’t you know that Ethan agreed, the last nail into the coffin. It had been less than a month since we met at Claim Jumpers and decided to gradually become part of each other’s lives again. My plan was to start off being cordial and maybe have coffee every once in a while until I could determine if it would be worth it to go back down that road. Now, we were all coupled up. He might as well have peed on me to mark his territory, like some rabid dog. Easily, I could have busted his bubble and exposed him for the liar that he was, but seeing the loathing in Myles’ eyes and hearing the tinge of jealousy in his tone, seemed like a fair trade—for the time being.
***
The end of summer moseyed by and the holidays came flying in with a vengeance. It was the busiest season for business. The time of comfort food and simple personalized gifts. I was tying bows and counting sugarplums in my head. Black Friday nearly sent me into overdrive and when it was finally over, I crashed hard. Normally, this was my favorite time of year, but the choices that I’d made, and the people I let in and out of my life had taken a toll on my cheer.
Things between Myles and me remained professional, solely platonic. It took all that time, but I came to terms with it. I was no longer waiting on a stolen moment. Between Lena’s and Elle’s weddings, all we talked about were weddings. We reveled in our sisters’ impending nuptials that were fast approaching with the new year.
Ironically, weddings were all I ever wanted to talk about with Ethan when we were together the first time around. This time, it was all he wanted to talk about, though I’d preferred to talk about anything else. We weren’t the same people and it wasn’t the same circumstances. The roles switched and he was the clingy hopeless romantic hanging onto the past. He could speak of nothing but the blueprints of the life he wanted to build for us. The home that I used to describe to him. Kids and a dog, or two, he joked. Vacationing abroad in Italy. Expanding and franchising the Sweet Tooth. My dreams became his. There was no dream that he was working toward. He had no plans, or friends. Or, life, for that matter. I was his dream. His past, present, and future.
But it all put knots in my stomach. I was living in agony. Finally, I was with the man I wanted for so long. And now, he wanted everything I wanted. Only, I didn’t want any of it with him anymore. People always said, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. No one said that the timing may be all off and there was a possibility that you wouldn’t want the same things at the same time.
Inside, I constantly battled with myself. I got everything I wanted. Did it make me selfish not to want it anymore? Would I be a hypocrite? Why had I been holding on so hard, so long? The closure that I expected, still escaped me. The only thing I’d figured out was what I didn’t want.
Something should have told me months before. Labor Day weekend, Ethan and I were held up in a quaint little B&B in Napa with all the romantic fixings: Wine, seclusion from the distractions of city life, and breakfast in bed. It should have been the precursor to ecstasy. Instead, I found myself inching away. The irritation from his touch left me anxious and annoyed. And his cologne. The same musky fragrance that used to rile me up and sift out carnal instincts, only infuriated me and left me on edge. We ended up cutting the weekend short and staying at our own places.
Following that weekend, we still saw each other off and on, at my convenience. I found myself making up excuses why I couldn’t see him. Either working late or that I had to meet Lena for some wedding planning duties. As much as I couldn’t stand it, all that planning saved me on more than a few occasions. Though, that wasn’t always a lie. Lena had become more like Bridezilla by the day, with her limitless demands. When Thanksgiving came around, I felt obligated to be with Ethan, so I invited him over to my parents. On one side of the table was Lena and Sam, snuggling and swooning over each other. At each head of the table were my parents, who have been together for umpteen years and still gave goo-goo eyes to each other. Then there was Ethan and me, the odd couple. As far as I was concerned, there was no love left between us. I was just trying to figure out how to break it to him. And while it felt heartless to do it during the holidays, I couldn’t bear the thought of letting him dampen my Christmas cheer for one more day. I’d reached my fed
up point and I couldn’t start another year living in the past. I set my sights on New Year’s Eve to start fresh with a new outlook on life, even if that meant being alone. As the days tallied on, I couldn’t wait that long.
As I stirred honey into my tea, the doorbell rang and my anxiety level shot up ten notches. I’d called Ethan the day before to invite him over, but the excitement in his voice nearly weakened my will. But, I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. My hands started shaking. How was I even going to broach the subject in the first place? What was I going to say, “Sorry I dragged you all the way over here, but things are simply not going to work out between the two of us?” Brutal, but it wasn’t like we had the greatest history of being gentle with each other’s feelings. A few times, it fittingly crossed my mind to just write him a letter to end things. Then, I came to my senses.
The brushed-nickel handle shook beneath my hand. I took a deep breath. “Hi, Ethan. Thanks for coming over,” I said without lifting my eyes to meet his.
“Oh. No problem. I was hoping I’d get to see you. You’ve been so busy lately. No worries, though. I know candy is a great gift idea for the holidays. Just glad business is going so well for you.”
A lump rose and fell in my throat. There he was complimenting the business and being supportive, while I cowardly inched along toward the demise of our relationship.
“Yeah.”
After about ten minutes of awkward gab, I still hadn’t found a reason to stop staring at the deep-seated stains in my carpet—and he started to catch on.
“Laila…is anything wrong?” It was the opening I was waiting for. “Why did you ask me to come over?”
“Ethan.”
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