by E. L. Todd
“You think?”
“I’m in love with him,” she blurted.
Martha’s eyes narrowed. Alexandra couldn’t read the expression. It was a look she’d never received from her aunt. “Does he know?”
“I’ve never told him…but I think he does.”
Martha returned to eating her food.
“I feel like I know him better than anyone, but there’s still a shadow over his story. Like, I’ve never seen his house or met his family. I feel like there’s something missing.”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
She shrugged. “I don’t want to pry.”
“It’s been two months. It’s perfectly okay to pry.”
Alexandra chuckled. “I guess so.”
“So, that ex-boyfriend is a man of the past?”
She nodded. “I love Blaise in a very different way.”
“Have you had sex?” she said bluntly.
Alexandra’s cheeks turned red. “Uh....”
“Uh…?”
She didn’t feel weird having this discussion with her aunt, but the question still caught her by surprise. They had always been close. She was the mother that Alexandra never really had. “Yeah.”
Martha nodded but kept her mouth shut.
“Why?” Alexandra asked.
“Sex is a serious thing, and it should only be done in a serious relationship. It shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
Alexandra nodded. “I agree.”
“Is he serious about you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Ask him.”
Alexandra didn’t want to have an awkward conversation, but she supposed it was a legitimate question.
Martha finished her dinner then carried the plates to the sink. She scrubbed them then stacked them on the towel. They took turns cooking dinner and cleaning up. They’d come up with a good system. “Goodnight, dear.” She kissed her on the forehead.
“Aunt Martha?”
“Yes?”
“When did you and Uncle Mike have sex?”
Martha smiled. “Well, that’s a personal question.”
“You don’t have to answer it.”
“The first night we met.”
Alexandra’s eyes widened. “What? I thought you said sex should only be had in a serious relationship?”
“Who said we weren’t serious?” She had a twinkle in her eyes. “Mike was the one. I knew it the moment I saw him. I wasn’t wasting any extra time. And we were married for twenty-five years.”
“Wow.”
She nodded.
“Well, I think there’s something we should talk about.”
“What, dear?”
“It’s getting more difficult for you to take care of the property, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But I think you should sell the land. You could make a good profit and move into a nice house close to the city.”
Her light mood disappeared. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not moving. This is where I will live until I die.”
“But Martha—”
“I’ve heard this argument dozens of times from dozens of people. I will not change my mind.”
Alexandra sighed, knowing she had been defeated.
Her aunt walked into her bedroom and shut the door.
The house phone rang loudly, startling Alexandra. No one ever called so she assumed it was Abby.
“Hey,” Alexandra said, assuming it was her sister.
“Alex?”
Alexandra stilled when she recognized the voice. “Paul?”
“You’re in Georgia?”
She didn’t know what to say.
“You have no idea how hard it was for me to track you down. I’m so glad to hear your voice.” He took a deep breath. “God, I’ve missed you like crazy.”
Alexandra was rooted to the spot, still shocked. When she finally regained her voice, her words flew out. “Why the fuck are you calling me?”
“Excuse me? You just took off without tell me where the hell you were going. I thought you were moving apartments, not states.”
“You shouldn’t worry about me anymore, Paul. I’m not your girlfriend, I’m not your problem.”
“Well, I still love you so you are my problem.”
“You don’t love me,” she said gently.
“Yes, I do. I’ve never been more convinced in my life. These past two months have been hell without you. It was like not having any air or water. I love you.”
“Paul, please don’t call me again.”
“Why are you being like this?” he snapped. “Our two year relationship meant nothing to you? I’m still important to you. You should at least have the heart to check in with me and leave your phone on. How would you feel if I just disappeared off the face of the earth?”
She knew she wouldn’t like it at all.
“Alexandra, you need to stop running from your problems. Georgia isn’t where you belong.”
“I like it here,” she said simply.
“But it’s not your home. New York is where you belong.”
This conversation was becoming too much for Alexandra. “I have to go.”
“What? No. How have you been? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Paul.”
“When are you coming back?”
“I’m not.”
“What?” He sounded wounded. “You have to come back. What the hell is in Georgia? You’re better than that.”
“My family is here.”
“If you don’t come home, I’ll come get you.”
“You have no idea where I am.”
“I got your phone number, didn’t I?”
Alexandra felt the anger rise. “How did you get it?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Did Abby give it to you?” The betrayal burned in her veins.
“Come home, baby.”
“Don’t call me that!”
“I need to talk to you about our relationship. But I’m not having this conversation on the phone.”
“There’s nothing to discuss.”
“Alexandra, please. I can come to you.”
“No, Paul. Please don’t call me again.”
“Alexandra—”
She hung up then pulled the cord out of the wall.
24
After Alexandra finished her classes for the afternoon, her friends decided to go to Rob’s Bar and Grill. It seemed to be their favorite place because they always went there. The summer had faded and the fall weather started to come into the air. Alexandra could still wear a dress but she usually needed a jacket to keep warm. Or just lay next to Blaise.
When they walked inside, they took their seats. Drinks were brought and Alexandra drank hers until it was almost empty.
“Long day?” Gabe asked with a smile.
Alexandra had a lot on her mind. Paul’s unexpected phone call turned her world upside down. She hadn’t told Blaise about it because she didn’t want him to get worked up over nothing. When Gabe grabbed her arm, he almost committed manslaughter. “Yeah, you could say that.”
Her relationship with Blaise was perfect, but she was confused by the halt they made in their relationship. She felt like their relationship had grown as much as possible under the restrictions. There was no need to be a secret anymore, and she was ready to take it public. She liked the hours they spent kissing, the nights they made love in the loft, and the time they spent together, but she wanted something more than that. She wanted all of him. It had been stressing her out lately. She’d been meaning to address it with him.
Hannah sighed. “Physics is such a pain, but I got a B on my last test.”
“Congratulations,” Alexandra said.
“Good job,” Lana said.
“It’s because Alexandra helped me—naturally,” Hannah said.
“You’re the one who did the work,” Alexandra said. “I couldn’t make you write down the right answers on the test.”
“Now look who’s
a genius,” Gabe said with a wink.
Hannah smiled. “Thanks.” She turned to Lana. “How are you and Cole? I haven’t seen you together in a while.”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s been weird lately, stressed about something.”
“The cotton?” Hannah asked.
“I don’t know,” Lana said. “He never talks about it.”
“He grows cotton?” Alexandra asked.
“He and his brother inherited the company, but Cole doesn’t do much.”
Alexandra felt her mind race with the connection. “What’s Cole’s last name?”
“Cunnings,” Lana answered.
“He’s Blaise’s brother?” Alexandra asked.
“You didn’t know that?” Gabe asked.
“I guess I just forgot…”
“Well, he’s supposed to meet us today,” Lana said. “Hopefully he’ll be in a better mood.” She looked across the room and saw him. “There he is.”
He approached their table and sat in the booth beside her, dropping her arm across her shoulders. “Hey, babe.”
Alexandra stared at him, recognizing the similar features. He had dark hair like Blaise. His eyes were also the same color. There was no mistaking their resemblance.
“You’ve met Alex?” Lana asked.
He shook her hand. “No, but I know you’re Martha’s niece.”
“It’s nice to formally meet you.” Alexandra wondered if she should just come clean about her relationship with Blaise. It was only a secret for Gabe, but she didn’t think that was necessary anymore. Gabe had dated a few girls and he didn’t seem interested in her anymore. She decided to go with it. “Blaise and I have been dating for a while.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been dating my brother?” He seemed totally shocked. Alexandra expected that.
Her friends looked even more surprised. Hannah actually had her mouth gaping open. Gabe looked pissed. And Lana looked like she still didn’t comprehend what Alexandra just said.
“Yeah, for a while now,” Alexandra said awkwardly, not realizing how shocking this would be to everyone.
“Are you sure?” Cole asked.
Alexandra thought that was an odd question. “I think I would know.”
“Isn’t he still with Danielle?” Lana asked.
Cole still looked at Alexandra. “Last time I checked.”
Alexandra felt her heart race. “What?”
Gabe stared at her. “Blaise has been living with Danielle for six months. She had a miscarriage and they lost the baby. But they are still together.”
The blood pounded in her ears. It thudded inside her head, getting increasingly louder. Her heart worked in overdrive, unable to handle the sudden rush of adrenaline. Her hands shook under the table. She tried to keep them still but they wouldn’t stop moving. It was like she was on ritalin.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Hannah snapped. “We could have warned you about all of this.”
“There must be some sort of mistake,” Alexandra said. “Blaise isn’t like that.”
Cole shrugged. “My brother and I aren’t that close. But I would know if they were broken up.”
“But—what—she’s been living there the whole time?” Alexandra asked.
“She’s always there when I’m around,” Cole said.
Gabe clenched his fists on the table. “I told you I didn’t like him.”
Alexandra ignored him, at a loss for words.
Lana eyed her sympathetically. “I’m so sorry… I had no idea you two were together. I would have told you if I knew.”
“How did he keep it a secret?” Hannah asked.
“I wanted to keep it a secret,” Alexandra said. “I wasn’t ready to be public.” Her voice trailed away as it died. A lump formed in her throat. The tears started to bubble, but she kept them back. “Please excuse me.” She left the booth and headed toward the door.
Gabe followed her. “Alexandra, let me take you home.”
She turned to him, feeling hollow. “I really want to be alone right now.”
“I can’t leave you like this.”
“Please,” she said. “Just go.” She turned to her truck and got inside. She started the engine and headed home, unsure where else to go. She didn’t know where Blaise lived so she couldn’t drive to him. She picked up her phone and called him.
“Alexandra.”
She said nothing, unable to spit out the words.
“Alexandra? Are you there?”
“Who’s Danielle?”
There was complete silence.
She felt her heart rate increase. “I can’t believe you’ve been cheating on me this entire time.” She felt the tears fall. “I’m so fucking stupid. I knew you were too good to be true.”
“Alexandra, I haven’t been cheating on you.”
“That’s not what I heard from your own brother.”
“I can explain everything.”
“There’s no need. Goodbye, Blaise.” She hung up and turned off her phone. The tears fell down her face in waves. They dripped and blurred her vision. When she came to her house, she didn’t go inside. She didn’t want her aunt to see her like that, broken and shattered. She tried to compose herself first.
Blaise’s truck sped into the driveway, bouncing as it went over the hills at a remarkable speed. He slid across the dirt until he reached her. He jumped out quicker than a bolt of lightning.
He opened the door then stared her down. “Alexandra, I can explain everything.”
She continued to cry, staring straight ahead.
“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”
“There’s never a good way to find out your boyfriend is cheating on you.” She got out of the truck and shut the door.
He moved in her way. “Look, I was with Danielle a long time ago. She was someone I was just sleeping with, but then she told me she was pregnant. I was responsible and had her move in so everything would be ready for the baby. I was never happy with her, sucked into a relationship I didn’t even want to be in. But then she suddenly had a miscarriage. That’s when it got worse. I tried breaking up with her, but it never worked. She always had panic attacks and started sobbing. Months ago, I officially ended it, before I even met you.”
She processed his words, feeling confused. “That makes no fucking sense. Then why does she still live with you? And everyone says you’re together. If you were broken up, your brother would know.”
Blaise ran his fingers through his hair, cursing under his breath. “I can’t tell you why. But we aren’t together anymore. I promise.”
She glared at him. “You promise? Why the fuck would your promise mean anything to me?”
He looked panic. “I know this doesn’t look good. I completely understand why you’re upset. But I swear on my life that I’m not with Danielle, haven’t been with her in months, and she and I are barely friends. She’s only staying with me because she has to.”
She shook her head. “And why does she have to stay there?”
Blaise closed his eyes for a moment. “I can’t tell you…”
“Fuck you, Blaise.”
He grabbed her by the arm. “Please take a leap of faith for me. I can’t tell you why she’s staying with me because I promised I wouldn’t. But nothing has happened between us. I’ve been faithful to you this entire time. You can trust me.”
Alexandra pulled away. She wanted to believe him. She knew Blaise was a good and honest man. It seemed impossible that he was a liar and a cheat. But she had been wrong before. Paul was the perfect guy, but he slept with someone else, when she was at her lowest point. Clearly, she was a horrible judge of character. “Get out of my life, Blaise.”
“No,” he said. “I’ll tell you eventually. Please just trust me for now.”
“Then why didn’t you just tell me to begin with? People only keep secrets if they are ashamed of them.”
He sighed. “I wanted to ask you out the moment I saw you. But I didn’t want
to start a relationship when I had all this drama with Danielle, especially when I couldn’t explain it in detail. It would have ended the relationship before it even began. I decided to wait and kept my distance from you. But then it became impossible. You are like a beacon of light to me. I couldn’t stay away from you.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me after we were serious?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to wait until I figured out what to do with Danielle so I could honest with you and tell you everything. I didn’t realize it was going to take so long. I kept putting it off, because the more I fell in love with you, the more scared I became that you would leave me. Then her mom got in a car accident and that fucked everything up.”
“You’re in love with me?”
“I thought that was obvious.”
“No,” she said as she shook her head. “Now it’s impossible.”
“Please don’t say that…”
She wiped her tears. “You’ve been lying to me this entire time. How can I trust anything you say?”
“You can,” he said firmly. “I never lied to you.”
“You were purposely deceitful. And that’s worse than lying. I have even less respect for you now.”
He looked like he had been stabbed. “No…”
“I can’t believe you were living with her this entire time…sleeping together.”
“Nothing ever happened,” he said firmly.
“I can’t believe this…I opened up to you. I told you everything about Paul. That was your window to tell me about Danielle.”
“I know…”
“You know how much I love you, Blaise. I’ve never said it but it’s so obvious. And you broke my heart anyway.”
“Alexandra, I’m sorry.”
She held up her hand. “I can’t be with a cheater. It doesn’t matter how I feel about you. I refuse to be with someone who would do that to me. She shook her head. “Something was going on with Paul. I don’t know exactly what he was doing, but whatever it was, it wasn’t with me. I know what it’s like not to trust your partner, and I know what it’s like to be betrayed. I never want that again.” He took a deep breath and his eyes started to coat with tears. “I can’t do this, Blaise. I never expected to fall for someone so quickly. The love was there the moment we met. That doesn’t happen for me very often. It took me years just to find Paul. But now it’s all a waste, a lie. It’s another heartbreak I’ll have to endure. I keep picking the wrong ones…”