Chapter Seventeen
Lachlan
I was going to tear those fucker’s limbs from their torsos for putting that looking on my starlight’s face. Not only did they shoot at her, but they used a rocket launcher to blow her up.
“Stay low, I’ll be right back. I promise.” I kissed her cut up forehead and went back to the squished SUV. I reached in and grabbed my berretta, an extra clip, and my leg holster of knives out of the glove box. I watched through the windows of the car as four sets of legs were walking our way. Dead men walking.
They split up, two by two walking around the sides of the SUV. I looked back and didn’t see Lily, but knew she was in the ditch I laid her in. I hoped she stayed there and didn’t watch this. But maybe if she did she would see the killer I was, because I’ll be damn if I was going to let these men live.
The crunch of broken glass beneath their boots was a dead giveaway to their location. These men were obviously amateurs. Moving with absolute silence of a well-practiced hunter, I snuck to the left and saw the shadow of the two men. The men on the other side were opening doors and checking inside the wreck. With my gun in my right hand, I reached down with my left and grabbed a knife. These were stealthy, and slick.
I focused on the men in front of me and when the first man took a step and came into view I knocked him to the ground with a sweep of my leg and threw the knife upwards towards the man behind him. Hitting him right in the throat. He gurgled on the blood that was pouring out before he fell to the ground. The first man was grabbing his gun that had twisted around his back in the fall and started yelling for the others. I looked at them as they came around and started shooting. Rolling over as he struggled, I grabbed his bullet proof vest and hoisted his upper body up as a human shield. They shot into him trying to get to me. I felt a shot hit my arm but I paid no mind to it. It was only a flesh wound. Tossing the dead shield to the side, I rolled to the side of the car giving me more stable cover. I heard the crunch of glass again but it seemed more hesitant. They should have looked up who they were trying to kill before they came at me. I was no thug with a gun.
Then I heard it, that little gasp. No.
I looked over to see Lily up and peeking at the scene. The two gunmen turned towards her and started shooting. Fuck no! I stood and aimed. Firing only two bullets, one to each head. Kill shot.
“Lily!” I shouted at her as my feet took off. She was curled up into fetal position but otherwise ok. Her head popped out of her position to see if everything was ok.
“It’s over, come here.” Anything I was feeling earlier in the car was gone. I just wanted her to be ok. I didn’t care if she said she never wanted to see me again, as long as she was safe and not hurt. I’d live.
I fell to my knees right beside her and she crawled up onto me. My arms latched onto her like a leech. I never wanted anything like this to happen. She stayed silent but I could feel tears staining my shirt. My heart twisted.
“Come on, let’s get you to the hospital.” I scooped her up, and not even my bullet wound was going to stop me from carrying her to the gunman’s car.
“But what about them.” She looked at the bodies on the ground. Such ugliness.
“Please don’t look at them.” I begged. I didn’t want her to see what I did. She didn’t say anything or even nod, but she did look up at me, wanting something. I gave her the only thing that came to mind about her question.
“We leave them. Someone will be down this road eventually and they will call the police. An investigation will happen but they won’t find anything.” I opened the door to their 4x4 truck, and made sure she was settled before going back to the wreck. I reached down in through the back glass hatch and grabbed two items.
Gasoline and a lighter. After dousing everything, grabbing my knife from the man’s throat, I tore off a piece of my shirt and lit it, tossing the material into the wreck. The flames engulfed the whole scene as I walked away. I hoped maybe to Lily it looked like an action movie where the hero was walking away with fire behind him instead of the dangerous killer hiding the evidence of his work.
When I opened the door to the truck I saw her flinch a little, making me hate myself even more. I started the truck and headed towards the hospital.
“So that’s what you do?” Her voice was small. I took a deep breath and answered. If I was already burning in hell for my actions at least I should be honest about. No use hiding things with her any more. She saw it first- hand. Even Nera had seen my handy work but didn’t see me actually do it. She was the one to pull the trigger on them.
“Yeah. I get jobs, do the work no one wants to be tethered to. Usually for the government or the wealthy.”
“How did you know to save me?” That heart of mine that was already twisted, started to crack.
“I wasn’t there for you. I was hired to get three girls that were taken, out. Thank all the stars in the sky that I happened to step into your cubicle and see you. Worst fucking moment of my life.” The memory of her lying in that bed with IV’s stuck in her arms would forever haunt me. I was reliving that moment in my head when a soft touch on my arm startled me. I looked over at her with wide eyes. How could she stand to touch me right now? Why was her gaze beaming with love?
“Thank you.” I scoffed, she wouldn’t be thanking be in a minute.
“Don’t Lily. God can’t you see how fucked I am. I just killed four men!” I needed to get through to her!
“They were going to kill us.” She countered, while true, killing was killing and every time you took a life the action took a piece of your soul. I always wondering when it was going to be too much.
“I killed all those men that took part in taking you. Blew their whole operation up.” I was actually proud of that day.
“Saving probably hundreds of other women from a terrible fate. Lachlan. I get it. I really do, and while I may not like it one hundred percent. All you’ve proven to me is that you only kill bad people. People who, I’m sure I’ll go to hell for saying this, but are better off not on this earth anyways.” Those words coming out of my sweet Lily’s mouth sounded dirty and terrible. I wanted to wash her from head to toe and clean her lips with soap. I groaned but didn’t say anything.
“Have you killed any children?” My face scrunched up in disgust.
“No. It’s in all my contracts, no children.” I could see where she was trying to go with this but I did the only thing I could think of. I needed to out the worst sin of all. She wouldn’t be able to look at me after what I was about to tell her, but I truly felt it was the only thing left to say.
“I killed Roderick.” I admitted. Her gasp was so quiet but it felt like it shook my whole body.
“Lach.” She covered her mouth with her fingers.
“He’d gotten in trouble with some bad guys. Being only a few years older than me at eighteen I thought we were pretty cool friends. Then he started keeping things from me and I got pissed. He took mom’s car one night and I followed him, determined to figure out what he was hiding. I watched him walk into a shady looking warehouse with a few other men and went in to keep watching.
I watched them beat him, and tie him to a chair. My older brother. I came out from my hiding spot and punched some of the guys trying to get him free. I tried. God, Lily, did I try.” The whole scene flashed through my mind like it was right before me.
Roderick had blood in his brown hair, and his green eyes were starting to swell. But he pleaded with me to leave, telling me he was so sorry and he loved me, and our other brothers.
“What happened?” Lily’s voice brought me back to the present and I continued on.
“The leader of the gang told me all about how my brother was involved. He wasn’t anything bad, but he was their errand boy and he wanted out. The only way to leave was in a box."
I hate that saying. "The leader being the lowest of the low made me a deal. He gave me a gun and told me to shoot him. If I did, my brother would go free. If I didn’t, Roderick would
die.” I gripped the steering wheel to help ease the pain in my chest but it did nothing. I heard the gun shots in my head, and the pain in my chest throbbed. The light leaving my brother’s eyes haunts me every night.
“You couldn’t shoot the leader.” Lily figured it out.
“Nope, I was too chicken shit to shoot him and save Roderick. So he shot him right there. He died with my name on his lips. Of course, seeing that gave me the rage I needed to pull the trigger on the leader.” My first kill. And I was so leveled by seeing my older brother die that in my rage I also shot the man who pulled the trigger. His buddies ran from the warehouse and I fell to my knees in a puddle of my tears and blood. Blood from the enemy and blood of family.
“I’m so sorry.” I could hear her tears through her voice. It was pure ugliness in its raw form. That moment was the exact moment I knew my life would never be the same. I would never have the girl I’d loved, I could never be home with my parent’s for random dinners, or have a future of light and happiness. Nope, I demolished that dream with the wrecking ball of a pulled trigger.
Chapter Eighteen
Lachlan
We drove the rest of the way to the hospital in silence. It was a lot to take in, and I really hoped it was settling in with her. When we pulled up to the emergency room, I got her out and vowed that after she was checked out and everything was fine I would disappear again. I wanted things to work, but it hadn’t even been 24 hours and she was getting shot at and things were falling apart. I’d even fought it a couple times in that 24 hours.
Nurses rushed towards us and got us into a room. I told them I was not going to be separated from her, even if right now she wanted to be as far away from me as possible. I sat on a chair while nurses cleaned her wounds on the table, and tried to touch mine.
“Sir, please I need to look at your arm.” I looked up at the redheaded nurse who was staring at me expectantly. She reminded me so much of Ma that I simply nodded and let her work on my arm. There were nurses in an out of the room for about an hour before we were cleaned up as best as we could be. Lily was taken back for X-rays and now we were waiting for the doctor to come in and discuss if anything was injured beyond what we could see.
“Don’t leave me.” Lily looked at me and whispered. I wasn’t going to leave her right now. Not until she was safe back at her apartment. After waiting maybe another ten minutes, the curtain opened and a tall man most likely in his upper thirties walked in and he looked familiar somehow.
“Lily Singer. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw your name on my chart.” This doctor knew Lily. I watched her face as her body froze and her eyes darted to the doctor. She had a look of utter surprise, and not exactly excited to see this man.
“Jarred. What are you?” She couldn’t even finish her question. I looked him over, searching for signs that he was a threat to her. He was about average weight, nothing was overly toned but he didn’t have a beer belly. He had blonde hair and was clean shaven. He was dressed for the part of a doctor. I got a strange feeling from him, but not one of a killer. This man had never handled a gun before. Still something was off.
“I travel for work. You remember that. Lance and I have a cousin in Portree, and when I can visit, I try to get a job close to family. I’m also subbing at the local community college for a few weeks while I’m here.” That’s where I recognized him from. He was the man that was getting into his car in the parking lot yesterday as Lily and I were leaving the school. So far everything was adding up, but it still didn’t explain how they knew each other.
“Jarred is my ex-boyfriend’s brother.” Lily answered my unspoken question. I took in the information but gave no indication that it pleased me or upset me to hear her statement.
“Yeah, he told the family about that. We’re sorry it didn’t work out. We thought you guys were really good together.” He spoke and I saw him glance my way once. If he wasn’t here to look over Lily, I might have punched him for saying that in front of me.
“So, am I free to go?” Lily piped up to break the tension. I was eager to hear what the results were.
“Well, you have a concussion, and a sprained right shoulder but other than that you are very lucky. I’ve seen cases like yours in bad car accidents that ended up a very different way.” Terrible bedside manner. Really? This was a doctor teaching young minds.
“So I can go?” She tried again. Anxious to leave.
“Yes, just let me check a few cuts on your head and I can sign off on your discharge papers. But you need someone to stay with you over night and wake you up every two hours. Ice, and rest will be your best friend for the next couple days.” He set the chart down and put on some latex gloves. When his fingers touched her hair, I saw her flinch slightly. It must have been painful.
“Ok, all good.” He took a step back and smiled while removing his gloves.
“I’ll get everything ready for you to sign and you can go.” He looked at her and didn’t acknowledge me. Prick.
“Thanks.” She murmured.
“If you need anything at all, or feel dizzy please give me a call. Here’s my cell.” He handed her a card from his pocket. I saw his pointer finger sneak out and touch her intentionally. I growled at his intent to caress her. He looked at me and I saw nothing. No remorse or fear. He didn’t care at all that I could beat his ass. I laughed on the inside. He was like the men that hired me. Money could buy anything, including men like me. He would probably think he could take me out with dollar signs or hire a bigger, badder guy to take me out. Never.
“Have a goodnight.” He walked out of the room and I notice Lily let out a deep breath in his wake.
“I don’t like him.” I told her, she looked at me and nodded.
“I never really liked him either. He always reminded me of the type of guy that would sniff dirty panties.” Interesting way to put it but maybe that was the vibe I was getting from him. A few minutes later a nurse came in and had us sign some paperwork. When we were free to go, I helped her into a wheel chair and the valet brought the 4x4 out for us. She went into my arms willingly so I could get her into the truck and buckled.
We rode back to her apartment in silence. I didn’t know what to say and I had a feeling she was done with me. After everything that was now out in the open, she would realize the depth of my darkness.
When we parked in front of her bright building, I turned off the car and looked at her.
“That’s why you left that night wasn’t it? It makes so much sense now.” She sounded like she finally figured out the puzzle of life.
“Yeah.” I knew what she was talking about. The night I left her, she kissed me. I had just killed a man the night before and couldn’t handle it. She was too pure for me then and she was still too pure for me now. I don’t even remember much of that night besides she said she wanted to try something and then she kissed me. I gave in for two seconds but then stopped and made up an excuse to leave. And then I didn’t see her for two years until that night I watched her perform. After that night I stayed away for another six years, until she showed up in my life in the worst way imaginable.
“I don’t hate you, Lachlan.” Her words were sweet and soothed a part of me. She didn’t hate me. Even after everything she didn’t hate me, but she wasn’t saying anything else. It squashed a little ray of hope that was crawling up from my depths
“Let’s get you in the apartment.” I wanted to get her inside, where she could rest. I got out of the truck and walked to her side. Carefully I eased her out of the truck and she helped me get the door open into her living room.
“I’ll stay tonight to watch over you, but tomorrow, Lily, I’m going back to the way things were.” I set her down on the couch and told her the truth.
“What are you saying?” She was looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and a very confused expression.
“You know everything about me now. It’s too much of a burden to take on. I’m going to do us both a favor and leave. You can forget about the
terrible things I’ve done and move on.” I sat on the recliner and settled back. My eyes closed briefly before something hit my face forcefully.
Chapter Nineteen
Lachlan
I sat up and looked at the pillow on the ground.
“Did you just throw a pillow at me?” I was astounded.
“Yeah, you’re a dumbass.” She grabbed another and chucked it at me.
“STOP MAKING DECISIONS FOR ME!” She yelled. She threw another, I knocked it out of the way and stared at her to knock it off.
“Dammit Lachlan, cut it out. I don’t care ok! I love you, I still love you, the good, the bad, the ugly. I want to be there for you, Lachlan. I want to be your home. A place where you can come to and unload some of the boulders on your back. I want to be the salve to your soul. Do I like it that you have killed people? Not really. But you are not a cold-blooded killer. You’re a killer with a purpose. You’ve probably saved more people from heartbreak and living terrible lives than you have from taking a life.” She wasn’t done.
“And you didn’t kill your brother. Don’t roll your eyes at me! I know you feel you did, but Lachlan you were eighteen years old. Probably never held a gun in your life. You’re not evil. What happened was horrible, and what you did was out of pure emotional rage. Don’t run Lachlan. Don’t leave. We can do this together. We can be each other’s home.” She pleaded with me, I shook my head no but even as I fought it in my head, I wanted to give in.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that you are a good man, Lachlan. Please, give me that chance.” She pleaded some more, and my resolve to leave broke. She knew everything. She knew all of my flaws, and skeletons that were hidden in the back of my closet and yet, she wanted me still. We were imperfectly perfect. Right then I believed her. Not about her proving I was a good man, but that together we could be each other’s home.
Blinding Lights (Lights of Scotland Book 2) Page 8