by Debra Kayn
Cam reached under her dress puddled around her waist, tugged her bra over her nipples, and let the weight of her breasts hang free. The warmth of his hand encompassed her fully. A shiver feathered her spine, curving her back, and she rocked against the hand rubbing her pussy.
"For a year and a half, all I wanted was to be inside of you." Cam's hard cock rubbed against her hip, impatient as its owner.
Cam dipped his finger into her wetness and stroked her clit. Her pulse buzzed in her ears. She fisted the blanket, overwhelmed with sensations. The first time they had sex, he'd taken his time and handed over control by putting a pistol in her hand. She was nowhere near having control this time.
Her pillow sat an arm's length away from her at the top of the bed. She raised her gaze. The pistol, hidden out of sight and accessible, tempted her. She longed for the safety of having the weapon in her hand and control over the overwhelming, conflicted feelings Cam brought home with him.
Why was she scared?
Why was she excited?
Her mind warred with her body, which wasn't listening. Her nipples ached and she panted, the sound hushed in the room.
Cam slid his finger inside of her, working her clit with his thumb. Her knees trembled. The soft wet suction of his finger filled her. She wanted him, fast, hard, and raw. She wasn't ready to lie down and accept all of his attention, because she feared the time apart distanced them. God, she couldn't face him if his feelings had changed.
She wanted validation and to feel. God, she missed feeling.
She pushed her upper body off the bed and hung her head between her arms. "Cam..."
His mouth met the indent on her lower back and he kissed her. "Once I'm in, baby. I'm going to take you hard."
"Yes." She rocked, needing more.
Cam's cock rubbed against her hip, smearing his pre-cum on her. His erection hot, hard, and powerful. Her breath hitched, and soon matched the roughness of his. She wanted to scream for him to hurry, and instead said, "Please."
Her breasts ached to be touched. Her mouth needed kissed. Her body craved the fullness only he could bring. The completeness she'd lacked during his absence returned with him and gave her strength and reassurance.
Her heart beat erratically, feeding her fear of disappointing him. She squeezed her eyes closed to concentrate on how hungry he made her body. What if while in prison, he'd changed and decided he had no use for her in his life?
Cam moved his fingers in a circular motion, stroking through her wetness, heightening her arousal. She moaned, caught between wanting what he could give her and needing to take anything he offered without any questions. They had much to discuss and to talk about.
How was she supposed to react when he'd gone away, expecting her to be the same person she was before he'd left and broken her heart? How could she possibly go from mourning his absence to suddenly having his full attention focused on her?
He stopped and put his hands on her hips. "Hold on."
His voice, deep and rough, caressed her. She braced herself and he nudged her opening. Before she could prepare her body for his size, he plunged inside of her. Her inner body aroused and well prepared to accept him, even though her mind raced in a hundred different directions.
Connected to him, her mind shut off and her body's reaction overpowered her.
She groaned as he took her from behind. Each withdrawal and penetration drove her higher until the sloppy sound of skin slapping had her moaning, whimpering, louder than she'd ever been with Cam before.
"That's it, baby." He growled, plunging into her sex harder.
Her knees sprawled on the soft blanket. She scrambled to hold herself up under the weight of him. Her fingernails dug into the bed to keep in position. Heat invaded her body and she gasped.
The heavy hotness of his balls slapped against her clit. The sweet agony of having him inside of her pushed her nerves over the threshold. His breath fanned her back creating goosebumps. Her sensitive, peaked nipples scratched the blanket, back and forth, back and forth.
"Oh, God." She moaned, shuddering under pressure.
Jolts of pleasure raced up the back of her legs and pooled between her legs. She arched, tossing her hair over her shoulders and fanning the strands down her back. Her mouth opened, sucking in air.
Cam's fingers dug into her hips and he bucked into her, shaking her whole body. Her head dropped to the mattress, and she shattered into a million pieces, her body taking every bit of pleasure and holding it possessively.
A primal grunt followed, and Cam plunged balls deep and held himself still. Warmth filled her as he shot his pleasure. Every ridge, every spurt, every pulse from him became hers. She belonged to him. Whether he lived in the state penitentiary or lived at the house, there would never be another person who owned her heart.
Cam pulled out of her. Her muscles liquefied, and she sank down onto the bed. Sprawled and loose, she inhaled a shuddering breath.
"Give me a few minutes." Cam groaned.
She rolled to her side, bringing her knees to her chest to watch him. He stumbled back a few steps with his jeans around his ankles and plopped down on the recliner. Her heart swelled at the completely sated expression that wiped the earlier hardness from his face, and she smiled. How many times had she wished for him back, in this room, in her life, looking at her the way he stared at her right now, as if he couldn't look away because she might disappear?
His brows lowered. She pushed up on her elbow and cocked her head. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He looked away, bent over, and dug his smokes out of his back pocket.
His hand shook as he lit the end of the cigarette and sucked the smoke into his lungs. She sat up, reaching for the blanket.
"Don't." His voice warned her not to cover up.
She swallowed and stood, needing to escape his judgment. He'd been gone a year and a half, he couldn't expect her to pick up where they left off. "I need to use the bathroom."
His head tipped back, resting on the chair, and he closed his eyes. She waited for him to acknowledge her, but he only brought his hand up and inhaled another puff.
She hurried out of the bedroom, across the hall, and into the bathroom. Behind the door, she dashed away the tears on her cheeks, cleaned between her legs, and finally settled her back against the door and let herself breathe. Her emotional high of having Cam home and reconnecting with him after all this time plummeted hard, leaving her raw.
Disappointment weighed down on her shoulders. She'd dreamed of his return and in truth seeing, feeling, being with him was everything she wanted. He'd forgotten about his club outside waiting for him and concentrated on her. They had sex and it was amazing, and yet something was missing that she couldn't blame on his absence.
More wrinkles lined Cam's forehead. His dark hair, now cut above his shoulders and peppered with more gray, seemed stiff and abrupt. She moistened her lips, aching for the man from eighteen months ago, and knowing she was being selfish and unfair. The added hardness surrounding him went past what she remembered; even when he'd first kidnapped her.
The time they were apart, she'd never gain back. No matter how hard she tried to rekindle the same feelings, she needed to move forward, starting today.
A knock jostled her and she reached for the handle. Cam stood on the other side, another cigarette dangling from his lips. That habit, too, had changed. He usually only smoked when agitated and outside, but he sucked in the smoke as if he needed the nicotine to stay alive.
"Are you ready to go back outside?" he asked.
She smoothed her dress down the front. "Yeah, sure."
He waited for her to walk out and then he followed her. She crossed her arms, cupping her elbows. The last thing she wanted to do was go outside with the bikers.
The Moroad members came every night as if Cam's absence meant nothing. As was normal, the bikers would continue to hang around the house tonight, tomorrow, next week. She only wanted to push Cam back inside the bedroom and keep hi
m to herself, until she regained the feelings she remembered.
While her world crumbled, the presence of bikers in her life never wavered. They came and went unannounced and rolled with the changes. The familiar ache in her stomach returned.
On the porch, Cam slapped her butt. She flinched, jerking around to go to him, and he walked past her without saying anything. She stayed on the porch and hugged the post by the steps. Before he left for prison, he would've dragged her with him while he talked to the guys in the yard.
His distraction from her tonight was understandable. Both of them needed time to get used to Cam having his freedom.
The crowd migrated around their president and broke out in whoops and laughter. She leaned her head against the wood and smiled. Everyone missed him and tomorrow or the next day, he'd fall back into his routine at home.
Footsteps fell on the porch and Merk walked into view. He leaned against the opposite porch post, five feet away. "Are you okay?
"I will be." She sighed and shrugged. "It's his first day back. He missed his club."
"Yep." Merk peered out at his MC brothers. "He's not going to say anything to you, but the first few months after getting out...it's rough. It'll take him awhile to realize someone isn't always watching his back waiting for him to screw up."
She wasn't so sure she believed Cam would ever relax. The time they shared together before he went to prison came with its own form of imprisonment for both of them. As long as Cam continued to run the club, he'd always look over his shoulder. She would always be on guard. There would always be something coming between them.
"Hey..." Merk dropped his chin to his chest and talked to his feet. "You'll be okay."
She snorted softly. "I always am, no matter what happens, I survive. At least that's what you and Cam always tell me."
Merk straightened and looked at her. "If you need..."
"I know," she said. "Thank you for being here for me."
After all this time of knowing Merk, she believed him when he told her it would get easier. He'd listened to her cuss, cry, and talk about Cam more times than she'd like to admit. He always seemed to catch her at the worst times when she broke down or wanted to give up.
What started out as a mutual hatred—no, that wasn't right. She hated Merk arriving at the house so soon after Cam went to prison. Merk's freedom and his invasion of her privacy during a time she wanted Cam back angered her. Life wasn't fair and Cam deserved to be home, not Merk. Though she never asked what he'd done to deserve serving time in the state penitentiary, she resented him.
Over time, she'd come to accept Merk. If it weren't for him, she would've given up waiting for Cam to return to her. He gave her the strength to stick around when the man she wanted to rely on was gone.
Cam broke away from the crowd, carrying two bottles of beer. A shiver of awareness tickled her spine when he headed in her direction, and she straightened.
He was here.
He was home.
God, she'd missed him.
His limp he hid with his cocky walk. The broad shoulders that sheltered and protected her, Jeremy, the club. Most of all, she missed his dark, dark, lazy eyes reminding her of where she belonged.
Cam strode up the steps, kissed her hard, and left her breathless. Her stomach fluttered, and she smiled up into his eyes. The lack of attention from earlier no longer mattered. He'd come back to her.
She wrapped her arms around him and laid her cheek against his chest. For as long as he'd hold her, she promised never to let go. Life had already taken him from her once. She wasn't going to let anything or anyone take him from her again.
Cam stretched, handing a bottle to Merk. "Brought you a beer."
She leaned with him to the side, settling down to stay close when he straightened. He wrapped his free arm around her shoulders, and she sighed in contentment. The paradox of their relationship needed pampered, stroked, and babied after his abuse and neglect. She believed they'd make it if she held on tight.
"What the hell happened to Katie?" Cam asked.
"Car accident." Merk cleared his throat. "That's one of the things I needed to discuss with you...later."
"Talk to me now." Cam's fingers dived into Christina's hair, palming the back of her head.
"I should do this some other time when we don't have everyone here."
"The guys are occupied and you can talk in front of Christina," Cam said.
"I'll wait—"
Cam's body stiffened and he lifted his beer. "God damn it. Talk."
"I can go—" Christina raised her head, and he pushed her back down.
"You're staying. Merk's going to talk. Everyone else is going to celebrate my release. I didn't get out of my cell to have my V.P. bull shit around what is going on here."
Merk drained the rest of his beer, glanced at Christina, and then met Cam's eyes. She flinched. Cam's insult and impatience irritated Merk and he didn't deserve the lashing in front of her over club business. Cam already knew what had happened. Merk kept him abreast of club business and the news around Federal, while she stuck to personal news and Jeremy's progress in her correspondence to Cam.
"We'd eased up on security with the Moroad women. Lola and Jessie each own a car and wanted to have the freedom of going to Silver Girls on their own time. Tina hitched a ride to work with them most of the time, unless they needed one of the brothers to take them, and then they let us know ahead of time. Katie still lives upstairs at the Sterling building." Merk rubbed the back of his neck. "We've let her have her freedom during the days she's not working. On one of those days, Katie got rear-ended on the way back to town after spending the night with Willy. The man who hit her took off without stopping. She called Willy, who drove her to the hospital, and then called me to go pick up her car. When I arrived, there was a clear message spray painted on the car."
"What was the message?" Cam asked.
Christina lifted her head in surprise. All anyone told her about the accident was Katie broke her arm and totaled her car. Moroad MC helped Katie with her bills until she could go back to dancing at the adult entertainment business ran by Bantorus Motorcycle Club.
"It said...next time in big red spray painted letters." Merk shook his head. "Since I couldn't pay you a visit at the prison for the last two weeks, I went and took a visit with Ferris—"
"He's dead," Cam said.
"Yeah, I found out when I asked Pretaro for time with him. Once I got the news, I left. I didn't want to gain clearance to talk to anyone else until I talked with you."
"Has anything else happened?" Cam's fingers tightened, pulling Christina's hair.
She stood straighter, leaning against Cam to take the pressure off her head. The old dangers aimed at her and Jeremy disappeared when Cam went back into prison. She believed the conflict with Reds had ended for good.
"No. It's been quiet." Merk walked over to the garbage can on the porch, set his empty bottle in the trash, and returned. "After Katie's accident, I put tighter security on the women. For a little while, I had Johnson escorting Jeremy home from school until he graduated."
"And, Christina?"
Her head snapped up, pulling her hair, and she grimaced. "What about me?"
"I'm not asking you the question. I'm asking Merk." Cam inhaled deeply. "Who's got her back?"
"I do," Merk said.
Cam tossed his bottle in the yard, reached out his arm, and shook Merk's hand. "Thanks, man. I owe you."
"I held my promise." Merk lifted his chin. "I'm going to join the guys before they drink all the beer. Glad to have you home, man. Enjoy your night."
Cam nodded, turning Christina without letting her go, and watched his club. Christina tipped back her head. "I didn't know about the threat against Katie."
"That makes two of us," he mumbled. "There's nothing to worry about. I’m back and I'll take care of you."
"I’m not worried." She pushed to her tiptoes and kissed him. "Was Ferris a member of Moroad MC?"
Cam let her go and reached for a cigarette. She leaned her hip against the porch railing. Merk said to give Cam time, and she would.
He exhaled the smoke. "That's none of your concern."
"It's just that I've never heard his name before." She shrugged. Doing the books for the club and living in a house that acted as a central meeting place, she couldn't claim to know any of the names of the members who were serving time in prison. There were a hundred and seventy two Moroad members incarcerated at the state pen and now that Cam was home, there were twenty nine on the outside, living in Federal.
"Do I need to remove anyone from payroll?" she asked.
"What?" Cam's gaze came back to her and he frowned. "Ferris wasn't a Moroad."
"Oh. Okay." She rubbed the chill out of her arms. "How'd he die?"
"I said it's none of your business." He sucked down the cigarette, flicked off the coal, and tossed the butt in the yard. "Look, he's dead. The threat against Jeremy is off his back. That's all you need to know."
She shivered. He said more than she needed to draw her own conclusions. Cam killed Ferris inside the prison; the same way he killed the man who'd murdered her parents.
"I'm going to grab another beer." He stepped off the porch and turned. "Are you coming?"
Give him time.
She nodded and stepped forward, latching onto his hand. Cam's return brought changes back into her life. Their relationship would be uncomfortable and she'd have to wait for him to share with her what he went through for the last eighteen months. Patience never came easy for her, and change knocked her on her ass.
She hoped he returned to the Cam she'd grown to love before his last incarceration. The same Cam who promised her a life protected from bad, while keeping her in his own personal prison. She'd flourished in the boundaries he confined her in, and for the first time she was safe, despite the threats. For a woman who'd lost her parents in the most devastating way, survived and grown on her own, Cam saved her from a lonely, bitter life.
Chapter Three
Merk leaned against the outside of the travel trailer in Cam's front yard. Cam ground the cigarette butt with his boot, frowning at the thick, green grass. There was not a brown dirt spot in the yard for him to toss a cigarette.