by Jade Winters
‘Thanks, that’s great.’ Cara flicked through the pages. ‘So, what else do you do beside work in a bank? For fun, I mean.’
‘You grew up in Cumbria, Cara. What else is there to do besides working and hiking?’ Her eyes finally held a glint of humour.
Cara laughed and nodded her head in agreement. ‘True. But Cumbria still has some of the best views in the world. Not to mention memories,’ Cara said as she eyed Erin intently.
Erin stared back at her. When she spoke her voice was tender, as if she was sharing the same romantic nostalgic dream as Cara. ‘Yes it does.’
Suddenly, a closed-off expression covered Erin’s features, breaking the moment.
‘Okay,’ Erin said briskly. ‘Let’s sort out why you came in today. I have a meeting I have to attend shortly.’
The quick change of attitude threw Cara off balance. ‘Okay,’ she said, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice. She wanted to stay in Erin’s world and find out all about her life for the past twelve years. She wanted to know all the things she daren’t ask – was Erin in a relationship? Did she have kids? Had she found someone who loved her more than Cara had? No, that would have been near enough impossible. Cara knew that. Instead of their first encounter being an opening of their hearts, she was answering mundane questions about her mother’s bank details. Cara explained her current predicament about the cash machine eating her mother’s card. She decided to phone the bank to sort out her own finances; unable to face the embarrassment of telling Erin her woeful tale.
Ten minutes later, Cara stood outside the bank. She had five hundred pounds in cash, her mum’s bank card had been re-ordered and she was left wondering if she’d ever meant anything to Erin at all.
Chapter Eight
‘Is that you, petal?’
Erin popped her head around the living room door with a smile. ‘Yes, Gramps. I’ll just heat your dinner up and I’ll be through in a minute.’ She withdrew her head and hurried down the hall and into the kitchen.
‘Take your time Erin, no rush. Irene from next door brought me in some lovely scones this afternoon,’ he called out to her.
‘Ah that was nice of her. I still think she’s got a thing for you,’ Erin called back.
‘No chance. No one could replace your grandmother – no one!’
Erin heard the sadness in his voice as she took the home-made shepherd’s pie out of the fridge and placed it in the microwave. She was still feeling disorientated. An adrenaline rush was one thing but what she had felt when she saw Cara was something else. Of all the people that could have turned up out of the blue, Cara was the last person she expected to see sitting in her office. She was meant to be living the high life in London, the last Erin had heard. With her sultry green eyes and sleek blonde hair, Cara was even more beautiful than she had been as a teenager. How Erin had managed to keep her cool she didn’t know.
Walking over to the cupboard, she took out two mugs and heaped a spoonful of coffee into each of them. Had she really pulled it off, pretending not to be affected by her sudden appearance? Erin knew it was childish but it was the only defence mechanism she had at hand.
Erin briefly closed her eyes and an image of Cara swam into her vision. Twelve years – had it really been that long? It seemed like another lifetime since she had felt the softness of Cara’s lips against hers. Cara’s gentle caress on her skin. No one had come close to making her feel the way Cara did – no one. At the same time, no one claiming to love her had shattered her life in a matter of seconds either. What was puzzling Erin more than anything was why Cara had come back? She didn’t buy her story of opening a business for one second. She knew Cara and she knew there had to be more to it than that.
Erin glanced down at her unsteady hand. It hadn’t stopped shaking since Cara had walked out of her office. The kettle finished boiling and Erin poured the water into the mugs. Timed perfectly – the microwave pinged. She quickly transferred the food to a plate, put it on a tray and walked to the living room, where her granddad’s craggy features were set deep in thought as he sat reading the latest Tom Clancy spy thriller.
He glanced up at her and put the book aside as she laid the tray on the table in front of him. ‘What’s the matter, petal? You look as white as a sheet.’
Erin bent down and kissed the dusting of freckles on his balding head, before taking a seat on the sofa opposite him. She let out a long breath as she slumped further back against the cushion. ‘Gramps, she’s back.’
His heavily-lidded eyes widened. ‘Cara?’
Erin gnawed on her bottom lip anxiously and nodded.
‘Does Matt know?’
Erin shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I doubt it – she only arrived here yesterday.’
‘Oh my dear girl. Why after all this time?’
‘God knows, Gramps.’
He shifted fretfully in his seat. ‘Are the feelings still there for her?’
Erin nodded miserably. She was ashamed to admit it but the great intensity that had emerged the first time Matt had brought Cara home to meet the family, was still there. She was a ray of sunshine in Erin’s otherwise miserable life. Even during Cara and Matt’s many breakups, they would still hang out together. The air between them had crackled with electric sexual tension every time they were near each other and they had grown close – closer than either of them could have imagined.
Then one day out of the blue, the inevitable happened. Erin remembered the moment as if it were yesterday. They had taken one of the rowing boats out, just for a lark, on that fateful early summer morning twelve years ago and had stumbled upon a small, secluded beach that looked like the perfect spot for a picnic. The tiny inlet couldn’t be seen from the open water and they would never have discovered it if they hadn’t been hugging the shore, trying to spot an otter that they had seen frolicking along the shoreline. They had rowed carefully into the narrow passageway and pulled the boat up onto a wonderfully sandy beach to have their picnic. It was there that their undeniable attraction culminated in their first kiss. Life had never been the same for either one of them from that moment. They craved each other with an unquenchable passion that caused Cara to put a final end to her on/off relationship with Matt. When they were alone in each other’s company, they fell upon each other, ravenous, hungry for one another in a way that neither woman had experienced before. It wasn’t simply a matter of sex, though. That alone couldn’t have made Erin betray her own brother by sleeping with his ex-girlfriend – what they shared was so much more. Cara was Erin’s best friend; she was the only person with who she could share her thoughts, her hopes, her dreams. Cara was her first love, her one true love.
‘Erin… Erin?’
Erin, lost in her daydream, vaguely became aware of her granddad’s voice. ‘Sorry, Gramps, I was miles away.’
‘I was asking you what you are going to do?’
‘What is she going to do about what?’ Matt asked, as he walked in the room.
Erin looked up in terror. Had he been listening to their conversation? By his easy demeanour it appeared not. Matt gave his granddad a quick kiss on his forehead and flopped down next to Erin, a huge grin across his face. Every time she looked at him she couldn’t believe he was still a single man, although technically that wasn’t true. Wherever Matt was, Claudia could be guaranteed to be within a few feet of him. Matt had told Erin that his relationship was a ‘friends with benefits’ sort of thing. Erin knew Claudia thought they were much more than that. Sometimes Erin felt bad for not warning her about putting all her eggs in one basket. She knew his attitude towards relationships were far from pleasant.
At times Erin often worried that it was her fault for Matt’s refusal to get close to anyone again. After all he was only eighteen when Cara broke up with him and his views on relationships had stemmed from this period. She had lived with the guilt for being the cause of his bitterness ever since. If it hadn’t been for her getting involved with Cara, they would have most probably still been togethe
r and he would be a happy stable person. Instead he was a thirty-something player drifting aimlessly through life.
‘Come on then you two, spill the beans – you’re always in cahoots with each other. I thought twins were the ones who were meant to keep secrets.’
Erin and her granddad both gave nervous laughs. Matt was right, though. Her granddad had been her confidant from as far back as she could remember. If ever she had a problem he was the first one she went to. He was the one she had turned to when she realised she had fallen in love with Cara.
‘Oh nothing much. Just discussing what we’re buying you for your birthday,’ Erin said cheerfully.
Matt sprang forward in his seat. ‘Fantastic. I can always come back later if the list is too long.’
Erin pressed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down. ‘In your dreams. Anyway, why are you looking so happy?’
‘I’ve got some good news.’
‘Don’t tell me you’ve asked Claudia to marry you? That would be more than I could take.’
Matt feigned shock. ‘Erin, Claudia would be so upset if she heard you talking about her like that. You know she’d love nothing more than to have you as a sister-in-law. She thinks you two are best friends.’
‘As much as I’d love you to get married and settle down, if Claudia was the last person on earth I’d advise you to remain a bachelor.’ It wasn’t that Erin wasn’t fond of Claudia – she was, but she didn’t think the highly-strung woman was a match for her laid-back brother in any way.
Matt laughed, grabbed Erin in a playful hug and ruffled her hair. ‘Well I might not be the most eligible bachelor in the village for much longer.’
‘You’ve not been eyeing up those sheep again have you, Matt?’ their granddad chimed in playfully.
Matt released Erin from his arms. ‘Nice one, Gramps. I see you’re picking up Erin’s smutty sense of humour.’
Their granddad slapped his knee firmly. ‘Well come on then, lad, let’s be having you. I’m ninety-two, I haven’t got that long left.’
‘Don’t say that, Gramps,’ Erin and Matt blurted out at the same time.
‘Well it’s true isn’t it? No point trying to deny reality, we’re all gonna die one day.’
‘You’ve got at least another thirty years in you, Gramps,’ Erin said, suddenly feeling teary at the thought of her granddad not being around much longer.
‘Okay, okay,’ Matt said finally. ‘Cara’s back! She came back yesterday.’
Matt glanced from Erin to his Granddad. ‘Is that it? No reaction?’ He focused his attention on Erin again. ‘I thought you’d be excited seeing as you two were great friends once.’
Great friends? We were so much more than that! ‘Sorry to burst your bubble, Matt, but I already knew – she came into the bank today.’
‘She did? Well, anyway, I asked her out for a drink.’ He stood and stretched, looking extremely pleased with himself.
Erin’s heart thumped against her chest. Is this why Cara had come back? To pick up where she’d left off with Matt? ‘And what did she say?’
‘What do you think she said?’ He winked at his granddad. ‘Yes, of course.’
Matt walked towards the door. ‘Anyway, I’ll see you both later, I’m going for a run. I only came round to tell you the good news.’
‘I’ll walk you out,’ Erin said as she followed Matt out into the hallway. As they reached the front door, Erin grabbed his arm and spun him around to face her.
‘So are you going to try to rekindle your relationship with Cara then?’
‘I sure am. But don’t look so worried.’ He nudged her gently. ‘I was a naive teenager back then. I’m a grown man now. I know what makes women tick. This time things are going to be different. I know it.’
‘But what about Claudia?’
‘What about her? If you got out more, Erin, you’d realise that everything is fair in love and war. If something is meant to be, it will.’
He ruffled her hair again before opening the door and striding down the path. Erin’s gaze followed him until he disappeared out of view. She leant back against the door and let out a long sigh. Cara’s re-appearance was going to unsettle the stable life she had managed to build for herself, she just knew it. But that wasn’t her only concern. What worried Erin the most was what effect Cara’s presence was going to have on her relationship with Matt. Would their bond be strong enough to withstand the fallout she knew was heading their way?
Chapter Nine
Cara pulled on her sports bra and vest, then bent down to tie the laces on her running shoes. She couldn’t wait to get outside into the open air. Cara didn’t run because she enjoyed it, she ran because she found that it relieved stress, kept her weight in check, and made her feel more energetic – it was medicinal for her. Today, though, she was running to escape the real world and to forget her earlier encounter with Erin. Her mind was still reeling from the shock. Twelve years hadn’t made the slightest difference to the way she felt about Erin. Even though she’d been in other relationships no one had hit the mark. Cara had always been looking for the one that could make her feel whole like Erin had, but that had been like looking for a needle in a haystack. If she was being honest with herself, not even Maddie had managed to capture her heart fully.
Having stretched her muscles out thoroughly, Cara headed out the door and onto the narrow street. Jogging along at a comfortable pace, for some odd reason, just as she started to run up the narrow path beside her mum’s cottage, the hair on the back of her neck stood up and she shivered, despite the balmy warmth of the evening air.
‘Cara?’ She was caught completely unaware by a male voice from behind. She carried on running – should she pretend she didn’t hear him? That wasn’t an option as Matt drew up alongside her, staring at her as though she were an apparition. Cara swallowed hard and bent over to catch her breath when they both came to an abrupt stop.
‘We’ve got to stop bumping into each other like this,’ he said.
Cara laughed uncomfortably as she straightened up. ‘Yeah, what’s the likelihood of twice in two days?’ she raised a brow. ‘And right near my mum’s place as well.’
‘Maybe it’s fate telling us something.’ Matt took one of her hands in his. ‘I still can’t believe you’re actually here. That you came back after all this time.’
Cara eased her hand from his grip and wiped the light perspiration from her forehead.
‘Are you okay?’ Matt asked.
‘Yeah, I’m good. I’m still in the zone. I didn’t know you ran,’ she said, gesturing towards his running gear.
‘Yep, six miles every day.’ He smiled and tapped his temple. ‘Stops me thinking too much.’ His brows knitted together. ‘Cara, now we’re alone and can’t seem to avoid each other, I think we should just clear the air.’
Cara merely nodded. She dreaded to think what he was going to say. She hoped the shy teenage boy she had once known hadn’t turned into a ‘let’s put all our cards on the table’ kind of man.
When Cara didn’t respond he cleared his throat before continuing, ‘I know things were tough for you the last few months before you left, what with your dad and everything, and I understand why you felt the need to end things with me and get away from here and all the bad memories. But I just want you to know I don’t harbour any bitterness towards you, I never did.’
‘You don’t?’ she said softly, her voice hitching a bit. His statement had taken her by surprise. The last time she had seen him she literally had to prise him from her leg as he begged her to go back to him. Not knowing how to deal with such an overt display of emotion at her young age, Cara had fled and hidden in the cupboard until he had gone. It was a memory that had niggled at her conscience all of these years.
‘No of course not.’ He smiled. ‘I know you, Cara, and I know you’re not the sort of person that goes around hurting people deliberately, least of all people you love.’
A sense of guilt swept over her. Matt stil
l had her on a pedestal thinking she was Little Miss Innocent. She opened her mouth ready to come clean and tell him the truth – the one that even her own mother couldn’t understand. The one she should have told him years ago. Cara had put a final end to her relationship with Matt because she had realised she was gay. That was all. She hadn’t betrayed him. She hadn’t cheated on him. Their relationship had always been on and off. At the time of her encounter with Erin it had been off and she had never resumed it again, despite Matt’s attempts to reconcile. It was Erin who thought they were as bad as Judas for wanting to be together. In Erin’s mind they had somehow betrayed Matt. Cara had never looked at it like that. If her life hadn’t taken the unexpected turn it did, she would never have left Cumbria and there was no way in hell she would have given up Erin – brother or no brother. But what was the point of shattering his illusion now? If she spilt her guts out, she wouldn’t be the only one that would suffer from the fallout. There was Erin to consider and Cara wasn’t about to hang her out to dry just because her conscience was getting the better of her.
‘Matt, it’s really good of you to say, really, but it’s been a long time now. I think we should just try and forget about it.’
He shrugged nonchalantly, but she could see the hurt in his eyes. ‘Cara, I agree it’s all in the past, but there’s nothing to stop us from making a future together is there?’ he trailed off, gazing intently into her eyes.
Cara stepped back a bit, crossing her arms over her chest, suddenly chilled. ‘Matt, look, I’m really glad we can still be friends. I’d just like to keep it that way. Is that alright with you?’
His eyes dulled to the colour of a winter storm’s cloudy sky. ‘For now.’
It wasn’t the response Cara was looking for but she smiled anyway, grateful for the opportunity to move on to another subject. ‘I forgot to ask after your grandparents.’
The dark brooding look was replaced with a lighter one. ‘Oh, Gramps? He’s doing well. My nan died a few years ago though.’