Only Love Can Heal

by Rosie Harris

  As they drove through towns and villages, everything looked totally different to what he had expected. Most people seemed to have a shabby, despondent air about them as they queued outside the food shops. But the thing he noticed most of all were the giant hoardings, all trying to influence the voting in the forthcoming elections. It seemed almost as if there was another war going on, a fight for the right to rule Britain.

  Although the main contenders were the Labour Party and the Conservatives, he noticed that in some towns there were strident red and black posters belonging to the Communists pointing out how prices of everything from food to homes would rise if either of the other parties managed to gain control.

  By the time the truck dropped him at Walford Grange the sun was once more burning down. As he crunched his way up the gravel drive his spirits lifted at the sight of the well tended fields on either side of the neatly trimmed hedges and the herd of black and white cows grazing in a distant field. At least things here looked the same, if not better, than when he had last seen them.

  Having pulled the iron handle set in the stonework alongside the carved oak door, and heard the bell clanging deep inside the house, he straightened his uniform.

  The astonishment on Mabel Sharp’s face when she answered the door should have warned Robert that his madcap scheme of arriving unannounced would go wrong.

  ‘Hello, Nanny! Surprised to see me?’ Without waiting for her reply he made to step inside.

  ‘Miss Kate’s not here,’ Mabel Sharp said frostily and there was open hostility in her sharp hazel eyes as she barred his way.

  ‘Is Lady Dorothea at home?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Sir Henry then … someone must be here!’

  ‘Sir Henry and Lady Dorothea are out campaigning. One of their friends, Sir John Buscombe, is putting up for Parliament. Miss Kate is with her ATS unit … in London.’

  Robert’s green eyes darkened with bewilderment as he stared at Mabel Sharp. For a moment he wondered if she was lying deliberately. He knew Kate had decided to stay on in the ATS but he assumed that now the war had ended she would work a five-day week, the same as her father had done when he had been at the War Office.

  ‘Are you quite sure she isn’t coming home for the weekend, Nanny?’ Keeping his temper in check he smiled coaxingly. ‘I have come all the way from Germany and I am only in England a few days …’

  ‘I am quite sure!’ Mabel Sharp’s chin jutted aggressively. ‘I have just said so!’

  ‘Yes, I know … I was not doubting your word.’ Robert removed his cap and passed a hand through his hair, so that it stood on end, glowing like a cock’s comb. His thin lips twisted into a grimace. ‘I don’t appear to have planned this manoeuvre very well.’

  ‘Well, I suppose you could phone Miss Kate … from here,’ she relented, sensing the sharp disappointment in his voice.

  ‘Right!’ His mood lifted. The solution seemed suddenly simple. He would phone Kate, and see if she could come home for the weekend. If not, then he would arrange to meet her in London.

  ‘You may use the phone in the morning room,’ Mabel Sharp told him as she stood aside to let him enter the house. ‘Do you know her number?’

  His hand went to his breast pocket. Then he remembered he’d changed his tunic before leaving Hanover and he shook his head, feeling foolish and inadequate.

  ‘I’ll get it for you,’ Mabel Sharp sniffed.

  When he finally got through the connection was appalling and he couldn’t believe it was Kate speaking. She seemed to be having similar difficulties at her end and it took him some time to convince her that he was in England and speaking from Walford Grange.

  ‘I can’t get home, I haven’t any leave due,’ she wailed.

  ‘The war is over, you don’t have to stay in the ATS,’ he bellowed back irritably.

  ‘I’m sure Captain Parkes will let me have some time off when I tell him you are home but I shall have to wait until tomorrow to check it out with him.’

  ‘So what do you want me to do. Stay here at Walford Grange and kick my heels on the off-chance you’ll be able to get home?’

  ‘What does my father suggest?’

  ‘He’s not here. He and your mother are out canvassing. Nanny let me in … just to use the phone.’

  The silence that followed was so long that Robert thought they must have been disconnected. When she finally spoke, her voice was full of doubt and he could tell she felt uneasy about the situation. He wanted to ask why but he didn’t dare because Mabel Sharp was hovering within earshot, and would doubtless report everything that was said to Lady Dorothea.

  ‘Look,’ he said, suddenly decisive, ‘I will come to London. Meet me at Waterloo Station when you finish work.’

  He replaced the receiver. ‘I want a taxi to take me to the station,’ Robert said to Mabel Sharp as she entered the room.

  ‘There is no local taxi service,’ she told him. ‘No petrol to spare. All right for you army fellows dashing around all over the country in your jeeps and wagons. The rest of us are rationed.’ She sniffed. ‘We have to rely on the local bus.’

  ‘And when is the next bus to Taunton or Bridgwater?’

  ‘Tomorrow!’ she answered, a look of triumph in her beady eyes.

  ‘I see.’ Refusing to let her see how dismayed he felt, Robert replaced his cap and made for the door.

  ‘What are you planning on doing then?’ she asked. ‘I only want to know so that I can tell Lady Dorothea and Sir Henry when they get back.’

  ‘Don’t bother. I hardly think either of them would be interested,’ he replied cuttingly.

  ‘How will you get to the station then? If you waited a while, Sir Henry will be back from his canvassing and he might take you …’

  Robert gave a thin smile as he touched his cap in a salute before turning away and walking briskly down the drive, revelling in the crisp scrunch of the gravel, knowing that Mabel Sharp was still standing in the doorway, bemused by his action.

  He had walked about a quarter of a mile when a car drew up alongside him.

  ‘Want a lift? Where are you going?’

  ‘Bridgwater.’

  ‘Hop in. I am not going quite that far but I can drop you off where you can get a bus.’

  At Bridgwater he just had time to buy a ticket and find the right platform before his train pulled out. When he arrived at Waterloo, his eyes raked the crowded platform looking for Kate, afraid they might miss each other. Then he spotted her, trim and attractive in her khaki uniform, her brown hair in a shiny pageboy roll under her officer’s hat. Suddenly she was in his arms, hugging him and returning his kisses, oblivious of people pushing and jostling them as they hurried on their way.

  For them both, time was unravelled as they remembered the hours spent together in Marlow when nothing else mattered except the love they felt for each other.

  For Robert, all the hardships and frustrations he had experienced since D-Day were obliterated. All that counted was that he and Kate were together again. He was aware of the fragrance of her hair, the softness of her skin, and the pressure of her body against his, stirring up emotions that had lain dormant for so long.

  Sensing the turmoil within him, Kate raised her face once again, her brown eyes searching his for confirmation of the love she felt brimming over inside her. The mundane routine she had become so involved m since she had agreed to stay on in the ATS suddenly seemed so futile. She wanted only one thing from life, the chance to be with this magnificent man who filled her thoughts, every moment of the day and night, and who was even more devastatingly handsome than she had remembered. Sometimes, when she was feeling particularly depressed, she had even wondered if he existed at all or whether he was just a figment of her imagination.

  Now, it all seemed worthwhile. Robert was here, holding her in his arms and the future stretched ahead of them like an unrolled carpet.

  ‘If only you had written and let me know you were coming!’ she murmured between kisses
, looking up into his vivid green eyes that were blazing with desire.

  ‘There was no time. It all happened so suddenly.’

  ‘When are you actually being demobbed?’

  ‘Well, that is what I want to talk to you about,’ he told her cautiously. ‘Shall we go somewhere and have a meal. I have not had anything to eat since I left Germany this morning and I am absolutely starving.’

  ‘This morning?’

  ‘That’s right. I managed to get a flight over on a transporter plane but I don’t have to report m until Monday. That’s why I had time to spare … and why I decided to surprise you. Let’s go somewhere and eat … and talk.’

  They chose a restaurant in a side street off Leicester Square and settled into a quiet corner. The fish pie was surprisingly good and Robert ate ravenously. Kate was far too excited to eat very much of the omelette she had ordered so, when he had finished, she swopped her plate with his empty one and smilingly watched as he cleared that as well.

  As they drank their coffee, Robert began to expound on how he came to be in London. He had given it considerable thought since he had spoken to his CO and what had started out as a mere ruse to get back to England to see Kate had gradually taken on a whole new career possibility. Since he had no job to go to and not enough money to provide a home for Kate, joining the regular army had suddenly seemed one way of attaining both of these.

  ‘Are you sure that army life is what you really want?’ she asked apprehensively when he had finished explaining everything to her.

  ‘Of course it is, why else would I be doing it?’ he answered sharply.

  ‘To please my father,’ she said shrewdly as her brown eyes locked with his.

  ‘Well, that may have had some bearing on my decision,’ he conceded.

  ‘Robert,’ she leaned across the table, taking his hand between her own, ‘please be sure you are doing this for the right reasons. I know something of army life. It puts a tremendous strain on a marriage.’

  ‘We’ll be together and that is all that matters,’ he told her confidently.

  ‘It is not that easy,’ she protested. ‘The long separations …’

  ‘You will be with me,’ he assured her. ‘No matter what part of the world I am sent to you will come along as well. Look on it as an adventure, something we can enjoy together.’

  She smiled wistfully, thinking of Eleanor. Remembering the joyously defiant way Eleanor had announced she was going to Africa just to be with the man she loved, she wished she could be more like her. And Eleanor was not even married to him so there was always the possibility that his wife would claim him back, or that he would be overcome with remorse and go running home to his family.

  ‘When will you know if you have been accepted?’ she asked, studying Robert’s face anxiously.

  ‘Possibly after this interview on Monday. I shall, of course, insist on staying in a Guards Regiment,’ he added.

  ‘You will. Why?’ A frown knotted her brow.

  ‘Surely, that’s the whole point if I am to please your father!’

  ‘So you are doing it to impress him!’

  ‘Influence him, perhaps,’ he agreed grudgingly.

  ‘But you don’t have to commit yourself to the army!’

  ‘It is the only career for which I have any training.’

  ‘Nonsense. You could always take up farming.’ Her hand squeezed his understandingly.

  ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘That needs capital, something I lack. Remember what your father said when I suggested running Home Farm for him?’

  ‘He hardly knew you then,’ she demurred.

  ‘The situation has not changed at all,’ he said grimly.

  ‘He has not had much of a chance!’ she argued.

  ‘No, Kate, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I know I’m taking the right decision. If I make a success of soldiering then perhaps your father will give me a chance to show my capabilities at Home Farm. I’ll transfer to the regular army, as long as I can stay in the Guards, and just hope they will let me keep my present rank. As soon as I know will you name the day?’

  ‘Is this a proposal?’ her eyes twinkled. ‘If it is, then it’s rather matter of fact. I had hoped for something much more romantic.’

  ‘You mean you would like me to go down on one knee?’

  ‘Something like that!’

  ‘Right!’

  Before she knew what was happening, Robert had pushed back his chair and was kneeling in front of her, one of her hands clasped between his. ‘Kate, my darling Kate, will you marry me?’

  As she leaned forward and pressed her lips on his there was an outburst of clapping. Cheeks flaming, Kate looked round the restaurant. Most of the tables had been empty when they had come in but now they were packed with people and everyone, waitresses included, was looking over at them and applauding.

  ‘I have far too many witnesses for you to back out now,’ Robert laughed as he stood up and took his seat again. He was so overjoyed that he didn’t even feel embarrassed.

  Chapter 9

  ‘It is utter nonsense to say that I shall be leaving you on your own, Mother,’ Kate exclaimed in vexed tones. ‘I haven’t been living at home for years! And as for asking permission to be married that is absurd as well. I’m twenty-three! You were not only married but you had a baby before you were my age.’

  ‘Things were quite different in those days and anyway my parents thought I was making an excellent match.’

  ‘Are you trying to say that Robert does not meet with your approval?’

  ‘Your father already had a career in the army and his future was secure,’ Lady Dorothea said firmly.

  ‘So what is different?’ Kate asked quietly. ‘Robert has a career in the army. Not only is he an officer in the Guards but he even holds the same rank as father had when you were first married.’

  ‘It’s quite a different set of circumstances,’ Lady Dorothea insisted petulantly. ‘And we really must stop discussing it,’ she exclaimed faintly, dabbing at her brow with a lace-edged handkerchief.

  ‘But, Mother …’

  ‘You’ve brought on one of my sick headaches again. Draw the curtains, dear, I’ll have to lie down for a while.’

  Kate sighed as she walked across to the window. It was always the same. Each time she tried to explain to her mother that she and Robert intended getting married as soon as he completed his re-training her mother either dissolved into tears or feigned a headache.

  Her father was not being very helpful either, she thought irritably. He either refused to discuss the matter or raised as many objections as he could.

  She wished Robert would agree to her suggestion that they should slip away quietly to a registry office. Once they were actually married her family would have to accept the situation. But Robert insisted that they owed it to her parents to be married from Walford Grange.

  She knew he was probably right. She didn’t really want to do things in an underhand way. She had always dreamed of a white wedding in the village church, surrounded by family and friends. As children, she and Eleanor had enacted it all over and over again, using old net curtains for veils and collecting wild flowers to make bouquets.

  Kate sighed. She wanted her own marriage to work right from the start. She loved Robert so intensely that it hurt. Eleanor had broken with tradition and it was proving disastrous. The African venture was turning sour and the threatened divorce, and problems over his children, made it seem probable that there would be a rather sordid ending to the affair.

  Robert was quite the most handsome man she had ever known. Whether he was wearing his immaculate, well-tailored uniform, or in casual dress, with his broad shoulders, slim waist and long muscular legs he made heads turn and she felt inordinately proud of him. His swinging stride, his deep voice, that could also be so thrillingly soft and passionate, his lean tanned face, keen green eyes and burnished shock of hair made him seem like the reincarnation of a mythical Greek god.

 
Just to see him striding towards her, head and shoulders above the crowd, made her heart pound and her legs turn to water.

  All this, combined with his impeccable manners and natural charm, should have made him the perfect choice and yet her parents’ opposition to her marrying him never wavered.

  ‘They don’t want to lose you, darling,’ Robert consoled her. ‘I can understand their reluctance even though I can’t accept it.’

  Once his transfer to the regular army was confirmed, he became increasingly anxious to set the day for their wedding.

  ‘Two months should give you enough time to arrange your demob and get everything organised for the wedding,’ he told her.

  ‘Absolutely impossible … if you still want a white wedding,’ her father said emphatically. ‘Far too great a strain for your mother to be rushed like that. Much better to leave it until next spring.’

  ‘We want to be married before Robert is posted …’ Kate began but her father ignored her interruption.

  ‘Robert might have managed some promotion by then,’ Sir Henry went on. ‘At twenty-six he should hold a higher rank than Lieutenant if he’s planning a career in the army.’

  Kate bit back the angry reply that rose to her lips. There was no point in antagonising him now. Two months was perhaps rather optimistic but next spring did seem a lifetime away.

  ‘What about Christmas …?’ she suggested tentatively.

  ‘Absolutely impossible!’ Sir Henry barked. ‘We are involved with far too many local activities in December. Apart from that, who wants to be standing around outside the church ankle-deep in snow!’

  Dispiritedly, she wrote and explained the situation to Robert. As the days passed and no reply came back she began to worry. Then, after three weeks’ silence, by which time she was unutterably tense, she received a brief note telling her that their wedding would have to be postponed until after Easter as he was on a four-month tour in Italy.

  Expediently, she turned this to her own advantage and told her father that she would take his advice and postpone their wedding until April or May.