Lifting my arms, I hold them out, looking at them, remembering, “She died in my arms. Did you know that?”
Trying to finish, I have to pause to wipe my tears. “Your mother begged me to be happy without her. She wanted me to make Catherine see how much I loved her and make her realize that we were meant to be together. I tried so many times to change the subject. I didn’t want your mother dwelling on Catherine like that, not then. But I think it was your mother’s way of trying to make me see a life without her. She wanted nothing more than for me and you to go on.”
I let out a sigh and tell him, “You see son, with all that Catherine is, it’s your mother who was truly selfless and I loved her so very much.”
“Dad…”
“No Teddy, I need you to understand. It tore me up loving two women. I hated myself for not being able to give your mother all of my heart. There was never a minute I regretted having your mother in my life. I loved her even though I remained in love with Catherine. It was never my intention to hurt her. It really wasn’t. Your mother understood and together, we had a happy life. Losing her and now knowing I’m losing Catherine, I don’t know how I can possibly go on. I can’t, I just can’t lose them both.”
We’re silent for a while. I know Teddy regrets pushing me, especially now, seeing me like this. I watch him as he starts scanning the room. He doesn’t say anything as he just starts cleaning the mess around me. Needing more time alone, I leave him and go to my bedroom. I might be a big, powerful man, but I am not immune to the idea of losing my love. When Beth died, she took a part of me. If I lose Katie, I will have nothing left. I know firsthand what happens when cancer is involved. I watched it slowly consume Beth. I don't know if I have the strength to watch it take my Katie from me too.
It’s early afternoon by the time we’ve cleaned the mess and I’ve taken a shower. Teddy tells me he’ll drive me to the mansion to be with Catherine. I accept but when he attempts to drop me off and leave, I demand he comes inside with me. This is now his family too, he needs to be here, with me. Upon entering, I see everyone in the living room looking somber. Zander stands and comes toward me pulling me into a big hug then grabbing Teddy to do the same. Liam is next to come over, shaking my hand. Vin just nods to me, looking like hell. Gabriel is standing with his back facing all of us, staring out the French doors, not caring what’s going on in the house. When I start to walk over to him, Fallon stops me.
“Theo, not now, please.”
I tip my head, understanding, then ask, “Has Paul been back?”
Gabriel answers but still stares out, “No, he says he’ll come tomorrow to check on her. He claims there’s nothing he can really do. He mentioned that he would be in touch with her oncologist.”
He turns, and I see by the bruises on his face proving he’s been in a fight. “What happened to you? Looks like you allowed someone to get the upper hand on you, son.”
Gabriel, shakes his head and says, “You wouldn’t think that if you saw the other guy.”
Looking out the doors again, he says, “She won’t see you. She’s refusing to see anybody again today.”
Turning, I walk to the bar to fix another drink. Swallowing, allowing the burn of whiskey to go down, I tell them,
“She will see me. She has no choice.”
I look at Vin and tell him, “Unless y’all want another broken door on your hands, I suggest you use your skills to unlock that door.”
He nods saying, “Whenever you’re ready, let me know.”
Am I ready? No not yet. Walking past Gabriel, I open the French doors and step out onto the veranda. Breathing in the cool air as Gabriel follows me out.
“How did you know?”
Knowing he means, how did I know about the cancer, I tell him,
“I didn’t.”
“But you knew enough to look.”
I turn to look at him. “I know my Katie.”
Sitting down, I lean back, spreading my long legs out, getting comfortable and finish my drink. “I’ve been watching her close. I can tell when she tries to hide things. I never thought this. I’m almost sorry, I looked into it.”
Zander brings a bottle out and the men all gather, including Teddy. “She’s been off. Tired, her appetite hasn’t been the same and I’ve watched her lose her balance here and there.”
I pause to fix another drink. “I knew better than to ask Paul. He wouldn’t tell me, and I didn’t want to put him in that position. I have no legal rights to ask about her medical issues. So, I broke into his office and stole her file.”
Swallowing some more, I notice I have their full attention. “I don’t understand most of it. But I understand the term cancer.”
I cringe just saying the fucking word. Cancer. What a horrible fucking word. A word that has destroyed my life not once but now twice.
“She has breast cancer and from what it looks like to me, she has known for years.”
Liam speaks up and asks, “How is that even possible?”
I have no answer, so I don’t say anything. We all sit there in silence for a long-time, drinking. Finally, I tell them, “We’ll keep this quiet for now. Zander, Liam can you ask your wives to not tell their mothers yet?”
Liam agrees but Zander tells me, “Too late, you know Murphy. She’s close with Cherry, but she did ask Cherry not to tell Forrest. Should I call her back and ask her again not to share?”
“No Zander, if Cherry says she won’t say anything then she won’t. She’s well accustomed to this life. She knows just as much as I do, the shit will hit the fan as soon as the news is out.”
Liam asks, “What the hell are you talking about?”
Gabriel interrupts before I can say it, “The vultures will come circling once they think they can pick at her dying body.”
“Exactly. That’s why you all need to be on alert. Gabriel will inherit her status but only if he can prove he’s ready and fit for the job. If not, they will try and take what they can for themselves.”
Looking at Gabriel, I tell him, “The fight you were in, I don’t care what it was about but if it doesn’t have to do with business, then stop. No more Gabriel. No weakness, at all, you understand? Your mom has been preparing you for this your whole life. Do not let her down. Tomorrow we will all be here to try and find out what her diagnosis is, but we also need to start forming a plan. Because the next day, life has to return to normal. No interruption. No reason to give anyone cause to start looking into things. As long as they see you conducting business as usual and think that Catherine has taken a back seat, they won’t interfere. But if they smell her absence in those decisions, until you are proven, there will be trouble. As of right now, you have me and I know you will have Forrest. That man won’t go against Cherry. The other bosses are getting old, they’re set in their ways. I don’t think you’ll have a problem with them but it’s the new blood you should watch out for. They are the ones that will be hungry for more. They will attack any weakness they can find.”
Gabriel turns toward Teddy and says, “You mean, like your son?”
Teddy stands, readying himself for war. I stand putting my hand on his chest stopping him. “Yes, you’re damn right! Gabriel, both my sons, Zander and Teddy, also Vin and Liam. All the younger bosses have the right to go against you until you show you are stronger than them. Don’t give them a reason! Now, everyone calm the hell down. This is not the time.”
I start pushing Teddy, needing to get him out of here before things go too far. Zander follows us. I know my son, when he’s pissed there is no telling what he’ll do. Things around here have been improving but they’re still touchy. I’m about to try and calm Teddy but Zander starts,
“Hey man, don’t worry about Gabriel. He didn’t mean it like that. We’re all brothers here. He’s just scared like the rest of us. You were an easy target. But like dad said, he knows that we all can go after him if we wanted.”
Teddy laughs and says, “The problem is brother, I know if you chose to go
against Gabriel I would have your back, because you’re my brother. But let’s test you. If I did choose to go after him, who’s back would you have? You say we’re brothers, right?”
Zander stands directly in front of Teddy, getting in his face, standing eye to eye.
“Enough! We are all in this together. I won’t have my sons turning on each other. I promise, neither one of you want Gabriel’s position.”
Neither one of them budge, both standing as tall as me. But they will soon learn I might be older, but I am their father and will still take them down.
“I said enough! Do not make me bring you both down. I will show you two exactly how I earned my position and it wasn’t because I was born into it.”
They eye each other a second longer then both back up at the same time. I slap a hand on each of their shoulders and tell them,
“I’m going to need both of you. Please don’t make this about yourselves. Not right now. You’re both my sons and I love you both. Do not test me. Now is not the time for a pissing contest. Whether you like it or not, you are brothers. By extension Teddy, that makes you part of all their lives and we will stick together and back Gabriel.”
Teddy gives me a sharp look and turns away to leave.
I’ll have to watch that boy. This could be nothing but trouble. Like I said, I know my son.
7
Catherine
Jeffery has come and gone again, bringing my lunch. He made sure to scold me on his way out, about not eating my breakfast. I promised him I would try, and I will. I need the strength but the medication I’m on messes with my appetite.
I manage to get half of it down, but I have a feeling I will pay for it later. Nausea is one of the side effects that I’ve had a hard time with. Pushing the rest aside, I stand and bring William’s picture with me. Sitting back in bed, staring at his face, I can’t help but remember the day I first saw him.
Billy had us working in the quarter for the day. It was playoff season and our Saints were on full throttle, going forward to be in the super bowl that year. Our city was full of drunk tourists which made pickpocketing way too easy. We all separated, having different areas to work. I had just finished stealing from a chubby man wearing sandals and socks. I made him believe that I bumped into him by accident, dropping my purse. When he bent down to collect it for me, I was able to lift his wallet seamlessly. Or at least I thought I had. As soon as the man started walking away from me, I looked across the street, and saw a man in a suit staring at me with a smile on his face like I was his amusement. I worried for few minutes about him turning me into the cops, but he just stared. I allowed easy targets to pass me by while we watched each other. Not knowing why the hell he kept looking at me like he was, I began to feel very uneasy about the situation. Finally, I decided not to take a chance. I moved further down the strip thinking I left him behind. I continued to lift anything I could get my hands on. But then I got a shiver down my spine, feeling eyes on me. I turned slowly and saw the man in a suit again. This time he had his suit jacket off and thrown over his shoulder as he made his way, following me. When he saw that I noticed him, he stopped. Putting his hand in his pocket, he smiled again, giving me the full-on creeps. Fear was starting to take over. Needing to lose him, I start walking, bypassing all my easy marks. When I looked back, I didn’t see him anymore but for some reason I could still feel him.
Later that night, I found Billy and Laura. Billy counted the money we managed to steal, while I told Laura all about my day with the man in the suit. Laura hugged me realizing, how scared I actually was.
My memory takes me to when she asked me to describe him.
“I don’t know Laura, he seemed normal but yet out of place in the quarter.”
“How so?”
“Well, he was wearing a suit for one and he acted like he was enjoying watching me steal. I thought at first, he was going to turn me in, but it was like he enjoyed the fact that I was getting away with it all.”
“Hmm, what did he look like besides the suit?”
I blush thinking about him. “He’s handsome but older. Maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. His hair’s dark and he wears it pushed back. His face was clean shaven, showing off his sharp jawline. It was his eyes though. They were smiling but when I looked up at him sometimes, they were so intense, like he was studying me. Creepy right?”
Laura laughs and says, “No, he sounds like a fantasy. Come on, he probably thought you were cute. Maybe he was waiting to see if you were, you know, working the streets. He might’ve wanted some action.”
“Maybe, I don’t know. I was just a little creeped out. He could’ve came up to me at any time to see if I was working like the other men do.”
“This one was in a suit. He’s probably just more cautious.”
“I guess.”
The next day we worked the quarter again, but Billy told us we needed more money. That was code for me and Laura to fuck and give blowjobs to whomever wanted. I hated those nights. I tried like hell to stick to only blowjobs. Those were fast, easy money. The rest was a nightmare. I would allow them to use my body while I either laid or stood there, praying it would be over fast.
Laura and I wore something a little sexier than the day before and strutted the quarter separately. It wasn’t long into the night before I felt like I was being followed again but everywhere I turned and looked, there was no one paying special attention to me. About an hour later, I come out from a dark corner, having just entertained a tourist and that’s when I saw him. This time he was wearing casual clothes, leaning against a building staring, at me. When I went to yell something to him, he disappeared through the crowd. I didn’t see him again for days.
The day he returned, I was with Billy and Laura. We were scrounging up all the change we had to find something to eat. He watched us for a few minutes then disappeared again. I tried to get Billy and Laura to look at him but by the time I got their attention, he was gone. However, it wasn’t long before he returned.
I’m so damn hungry. As hard as we’re working, we should have more money than this. But I know the reason why. Billy likes the quarter because drugs can easily be found here. I know that’s where all the money is going. I also know it’s useless to ask or even throw a fit. At this point, even Laura would lie to me.
We’re all sitting on the ground with our legs stretched out, bored and hungry. The streets are dead right now. The Saints are still in the playoffs, but the game is out of state. I’m shaking from the cold, but Billy insists that I show as much skin as I can in case we get a bite.
Suddenly, I see shiny shoes stop in front of us. Looking up, my mouth drops as I see the man that’s been following me. He’s carrying a bag of food, staring directly at me.
Billy stands. “What you want man?”
The man’s eyes lift off me and onto Billy. “I want her, I would like to talk.”
Billy tells him, “I can make that happen. But it’s going to cost you.”
The man laughs, then says, “It won’t cost me a damn cent. You’re hungry, I can see that. I brought some burgers with all the works. I just want to talk, nothing more. I’ll even talk to her while she eats.”
Billy goes to argue, wanting money. But I’m so hungry I don’t give a shit what he has to say. I stand grabbing the bag and tell him, “Fine, I’ll talk to you while I eat.” I reach in the bag and pull out a burger and fries. I hand the rest to Laura and start walking off. But I don’t feel him behind me. Turning back around, I notice he’s still face to face with Billy, looking threatening, almost daring him to make a move.
“If you want to talk Mister, you better come on because I plan on eating this fast.”
He takes a step back before he looks away from Billy. Then he walks past me, jerking his head expecting me to follow. Rolling my eyes, like a lamb to slaughter, I do. He takes me to a restaurant that has outside tables, he sits, waiting for me to take a seat. When I don’t, he gives me a questioning look.
“I�
��I’m not allowed to sit out here. The owner doesn’t want my type around.”
He opens his mouth to speak and it’s the first time I hear how deep and rich his voice sounds.
“Sit, no one will bother you with me.”
When he still sees my hesitance, he says in a harsher tone, “Sit!”
Jumping at his demand, I sit and start eating. I know I’m making a mess, but this is the first decent meal I’ve had in so long and starvation is not kind. I look up and notice he has his legs crossed, watching me. Feeling unnerved I ask,
“You just wanted to watch me eat or do you want to talk?”
“Both.”
He starts to remove his jacket and tells me, “Here, do you think you can wear this and not get ketchup all over it?”
He stands and lays the jacket over my shoulders. I try to protest but he insists.
“You’re cold, put it on.”
He sits back across from me as I tell him, “I shouldn’t…”
Putting his hand up, he stops me mid-sentence. “You’re cold.”
“But now you’ll be cold.”
With a devilish smile he says, “Yeah, but you won’t be distracted by my hard nipples.”
I look down and I’m immediately mortified. I shouldn’t be, I mean for God’s sake I sell my body but right now, in front of him, I am.
He laughs, seeing me cover my breasts up. “Red looks good on you. I wasn’t sure if you would get embarrassed or not.”
“Look Mister…”
He harshly tells me, “Swallow your food before you speak.”
I’m getting pissed. He has no right to speak to me like a child. I swallow my food and tell him,
“You wanted to talk so I suggest you talk. If you’re looking for me to suck your cock, that’s extra.”
Art of Survival: Part One (A Stern Family Saga Book 5) Page 5