‘Yeah, right.’
‘I did!’ she insisted as his lip curled. ‘My father didn’t even know where I was working—I wouldn’t tell him—’
‘Because you knew he’d think you were slumming it with the peasants in St Stephen’s?’
She stiffened. ‘I don’t know who you’re insulting most by saying that—me, or everyone else who works here.’
He had the grace to flush slightly, but he wasn’t finished, not by a long shot.
‘I’m surprised Daddy didn’t offer to get you a post in some nice, comfortable, civilised, private hospital.’
‘I didn’t want a job like that.’ Oh, hell, that hadn’t come out at all the way she’d intended, she realised, seeing his eyebrows snap down. ‘I mean—I meant—I wanted to get a post on my own without his help. I didn’t tell him I’d got a job here—I don’t know how he found out—’
‘That letter I brought round to your flat,’ Robert interrupted with dawning comprehension. ‘It was from him, wasn’t it?’
She nodded. ‘And if you think back, you might remember I wasn’t exactly over the moon to receive it. Robert…Robert, surely all that really matters here is you and me, not who my father is?’
For a second she felt she’d almost convinced him, then he shook his head.
‘If your father had been a teacher or a dustman, it wouldn’t have mattered a brass farthing to me, but your father is Charles Blake, Hannah, one of the foremost consultants in the country.’
‘Yes, but—’
‘And the only reason I can come up with to explain your reluctance to say anything is that you’re ashamed of your association with me. You thought I might want to meet him, and you didn’t want to introduce somebody ordinary and run-of-the-mill like me to your precious father.’
Of course she wasn’t ashamed of him—she’d never be ashamed of him—but he was right, she suddenly realised with dismay. She hadn’t wanted him to meet her father.
Time and time again she’d put it off, convincing herself that now wasn’t the right moment, that tomorrow would be better, but the bottom line was that she hadn’t told him because she’d been afraid. Afraid that once Robert knew, he might become like Chris. Afraid he might become so obsessed with what her father could do for him that she’d be sidelined, marginalised into a small corner of his life.
It was an ignoble thought—an unworthy one. She knew Robert was nothing like Chris, would never be anything like Chris, but the tiny seed of doubt had been there. The tiny gnawing seed of doubt had kept her silent.
And Robert saw the shame in her face and misinterpreted it completely.
‘So, I was right!’ he exclaimed, a tide of dark, livid colour appearing on his cheekbones. ‘You are ashamed of me. I’m just some bit of rough you’ve picked up for convenient sex until Daddy selects someone more suitable for you to settle down with and raise 2.2 children!’
‘No—No!’ she gasped in horror. ‘Robert, I love you!’
‘Love means trust, Hannah,’ he said tightly. ‘Love means honesty. If I learned nothing else when I was married to Laura, I learned that.’
He was already walking to his office door, and she hurried after him.
‘OK…OK, you want honesty from me—I’ll give you honesty,’ she said. ‘I didn’t tell you who my father was because…because I was frightened.’
He turned to face her, his eyes cold, impassive. ‘Frightened of what?’
‘Robert, all my life I’ve known—been told—how brilliant my father is, how talented. All my life I’ve known that as soon as I’ve said I’m his daughter, all anybody wanted to talk about was him.’
‘Go on.’
Never had he looked so grim, so unapproachable, but she’d started and she knew she couldn’t stop now.
‘I fell in love two years ago—or rather I thought I did. His name was Chris, and we were going to be married until I found out he only wanted to marry me because he hoped my father would help his career.’
‘And you thought I might be the same?’ he exclaimed, anger and hurt plain in his eyes. ‘You thought I was a scumbag like that?’
‘No—no!’ Oh, she was saying this all wrong. Her words were coming out all tangled and twisted and wrong. ‘No, I didn’t think that—I know I didn’t—but I think that perhaps…perhaps…’
‘You’re saying you didn’t trust me. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?’ he demanded.
She gazed pleadingly up at him, willing him to understand. ‘I wanted to trust you. I was sure that I did, but…Robert, you can have no idea what it’s like to grow up knowing no one’s interested in you, only your father. To stand in your own home when your father gives a dinner party and pray—pray—that somebody might talk to you because you’re you, and not because you’re Charles Blake’s daughter.’
He stared at her for a long moment, then his lip curled. ‘You’re right, Hannah, I don’t understand. You see, my family were too dirt poor to give any kind of party, far less a dinner party.’
‘Robert—’
‘We have patients waiting, Dr Blake. They require our medical skills, and I suggest we get back to them.’
‘But, Robert, we haven’t finished—’
‘Oh, but we have,’ he said, his face a cold mask. ‘We have most certainly, definitely finished.’
And before she could utter a word he’d gone, leaving her standing in the centre of the empty office, knowing that it wasn’t just their conversation that was finished. They were, too.
CHAPTER TEN
‘THANK God you’ve made it in this morning, Hannah!’ Jane exclaimed with relief, when she came through the treatment-room doors. ‘Honestly, I don’t know if I’m on my head or my heels today. What with half the hospital staff down with flu, and the other half marooned at home because of this snow…’
‘And Maintenance say it’s getting worse,’ Kelly Ross chipped in as she joined them. ‘Apparently there’s almost six inches of snow on the pavements now, and there’s no sign of it stopping.’
‘Oh, terrific,’ Jane groaned. ‘The next thing you know we’ll be—’
‘Jane, could you make sure Admin gets those requisition forms today?’ Robert interrupted. ‘They’ve been on the phone, saying they should have received them yesterday, and I’ve promised you’ll fill them in and send them along.’
‘Then you’ll just have to phone them back and unpromise,’ the sister protested. ‘Robert, you’ve seen what the waiting room’s like. I’ll be lucky if I get a chance to go to the loo, far less put pen to paper today.’
Irritation was plain on his face but he didn’t say a word, and as he walked away a deep frown creased Jane’s forehead.
‘You know, this is going to sound really dumb and downright contrary of me,’ she murmured, ‘but I think I preferred it when he got angry. Oh, I don’t mean I want him snippy and impatient all the time again, but…’
‘It’s like standing next to a rumbling volcano.’ Kelly nodded. ‘You don’t know when it’s going to explode, only that it’s going to, and the suspense is killing you. Hannah—’
‘Sorry, but I have to go,’ she said hurriedly. ‘I think Flo wants me.’
And she did, judging by the staff nurse’s wave, but Hannah would have grasped at any excuse to get away from what looked like developing into an in-depth discussion of what could possibly be wrong with Robert.
She didn’t need a discussion. She knew what was wrong. He was angry with her. Angry, and hurt, and disappointed, but instead of exploding—getting his anger out into the open—he was turning it inwards, allowing it to simmer and fester, and as Kelly had said, one day it was going to blow.
‘There wasn’t any need for you to rush,’ Floella remarked with a smile. ‘It’s no big emergency, just a tourist from the States who suffers from high blood pressure and has lost his medication. He’s not registered in this country with a GP, so—’
‘He’s hoping we can provide a prescription for the drugs he needs,’ Ha
nnah finished for her. ‘OK, I’ll have a word with him. What’s his name?’
Floella’s lips twitched. ‘Would you believe Rock Cadwallader?’
He didn’t look like a Cadwallader in his denim jeans, cowboy boots and a jacket that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Rocky Mountains. But as the American got to his feet, and Hannah stared up at what must have been six feet five inches of solid muscle, she decided he most definitely looked like a rock.
‘It’s the most vexatious thing, ma’am,’ he declared in answer to her query. ‘I always keep the dang pills with me, never pack them in my luggage, but when I checked into the hotel, the little critters had disappeared. I reckon I must have pulled them out of my pocket when I was consulting my little old London A-Z street atlas.’
Good grief. He only had to add ‘Aw shucks’ and ‘heavens to Betsy’, and she’d be wondering where he’d parked his horse, Hannah thought, suppressing a smile as she took his blood pressure.
‘Gone right through the roof, has it?’ he asked when she straightened up with a slight frown.
‘It’s certainly higher than it should be,’ she admitted, ‘but I shouldn’t think the worry over losing your medication has done it a lot of good. Can you remember what your doctor prescribed for you?’
‘Not the brand names, I’m afraid, but I can give you my doc’s address and telephone number, and he’ll be able to tell you. All I know is that I’m on beta blockers, ACE inhibitors and a vasodilator.’
‘You must rattle,’ Hannah said with a smile, and a broad grin lit up Mr Cadwallader’s deeply tanned face.
‘Sure do. In fact, my secretary reckons she can hear me three blocks away.’
Hannah laughed. ‘Do you have your doctor’s telephone number with you? Oh, terrific. I’ll get our receptionist to telephone him, then you can be on your way.’
‘Much obliged to you, ma’am,’ he replied. ‘I wouldn’t want to be without my drugs for any length of time in this cold weather, and it’s cold enough out there today to freeze the hide right off a skunk.’
Hannah didn’t know if it would, but Reception had told her that they’d already been inundated by patients suffering from breathing problems because of the sub-zero temperature, not to mention the fractured limbs caused by people slipping on the snow-covered pavements and a rash of car accidents due to by the treacherous roads.
‘Is that guy for real?’ Elliot gasped, when Mr Cadwallader had gone, after kissing Hannah soundly on both cheeks and waving her a cheery farewell.
‘You’d better believe it.’ She chuckled. ‘In fact, he’s very big in ladies underwear in the States—’
‘I’m surprised he can find anything to fit him—’
‘And…And,’ she continued with a reproving glance at Elliot, though her eyes sparkled, ‘he’s also promised to send me some extremely expensive briefs and bras when he gets home as a thank you for all my help.’
‘Carried out a personal fitting, did he?’ the SHO asked, his eyebrows waggling.
‘Certainly not.’ She laughed. ‘I’ll have you know that Mr Rock Cadwallader is a perfect gentleman.’
‘Or a fool, like somebody else I could mention,’ Elliot sighed as Robert strode past them with the barest of nods. ‘How much longer is he going to keep this up, Hannah?’
‘Permanently, I’m afraid,’ she replied with a brave attempt at a smile that didn’t fool Elliot for a second. ‘You warned me this would happen so I really only have myself to blame.’
‘Yes, but it’s been over a month now,’ the SHO protested. ‘Have you tried talking to him again, explaining…’
‘He thinks I was using him, Elliot,’ she interrupted, a dull tide of colour spreading across her too-pale cheeks. ‘It’s not simply that I didn’t tell him who my father was. He thinks I was only amusing myself with him until someone better came along.’
He stared at her in disbelief. ‘But it’s obvious you’re in love with him. Good heavens, you light up like a neon sign whenever he’s near.’
‘If I do, then he either doesn’t see it or doesn’t choose to, which is why…why I’ve got myself another job. I had to, Elliot,’ she continued as his jaw dropped. ‘The atmosphere in A and E’s impossible. Kelly said it was like working next to a rumbling volcano, and she’s right, and it’s all my fault. There’s so much anger inside Robert, so much hurt and bitterness, and every time he sees me, it simply fuels those feelings.’
‘But, Hannah—’
‘Elliot, I’ve admitted I was wrong, I’ve told him I’m sorry, but I won’t beg.’ Her bottom lip trembled and she brought it back rigidly under control. ‘Call it pride, call it whatever you like, but if he can’t accept my apology—can’t understand why I did what I did—then maybe…maybe I’m better off without him.’
‘Oh, love…’
‘Aren’t you going to ask me about my new job?’ she said, forcing a smile to her lips, unable to bear the sympathy in Elliot’s eyes. ‘For all you know I could have got myself a post with some mega-rich oil sheikh who’s going to shower me with diamonds, and give me the kind of life you only ever see in the movies.’
‘If he’s in the market for a male doctor, can I have a job, too?’ Elliot grinned, knowing full well what she was doing, and why. ‘What is this new job, then—where is it?’
‘Botswana. I’ve been accepted by Médicins Sans Frontières,’ she continued as his eyebrows rose. ‘I saw an advertisement in the paper, asking for applications from doctors and nurses, and I contacted them, and they’ve accepted me.’
‘So when do you leave?’
‘In a month. I really should give six weeks’ notice but when I handed in my resignation this morning to Mr Mackay he said he’d sort it out with Admin.’
‘But that means you’ll be leaving right after Christmas,’ Elliot protested. ‘Some of the staff won’t be back from their holidays and they’ll miss your farewell do.’
‘I’d much rather you didn’t organise anything,’ Hannah said quickly. ‘I haven’t been here any length of time.’
‘Since when did a minor detail like that ever stand in the way of a good night out?’ Elliot laughed. ‘And we can’t possibly let you go without a party.’
But I don’t want a party, Hannah thought miserably as the SHO completely ignored all her protestations and began rattling off possible venues and whether a buffet would be preferable to a sit-down meal. All I want is to slip quietly and unobtrusively away, and never see Robert Cunningham again.
No, she didn’t really want that. She might be angry with him, and hurt at the way he’d effectively shut her out of his life for the past month, but she still loved him.
If only he’d talk to her. If they could just talk she was sure she could make him see that she really did love him, that her fears had been born out of insecurity, not a lack of trust.
But he wouldn’t talk to her. Oh, he was polite and courteous enough when they were treating patients together, but the minute she tried to instigate any kind of conversation other than a medical one he became as remote and distant as a sphinx.
Which was why she was leaving. Leaving before she embarrassed both herself and him by making a pointless and stupid scene. Leaving because she knew that as far as Robert was concerned their relationship was irrevocably over, and to stay on here, feeling as she did, would be impossible.
‘I wish you weren’t going,’ Elliot said sadly. ‘We’re going to miss you. I’m going to miss you.’
‘Rubbish!’ Hannah smiled. ‘If my replacement turns out to be a twenty-four-year-old blonde with a 40DD bust, one glance at her and I guarantee you won’t even remember my name!’
He laughed, too, but as she walked away the smile rapidly faded from his lips. It was a shame, a damn shame. Hannah was clearly deeply unhappy, and Robert…Robert was watching Hannah as she walked over to the white board and it was obvious he was also miserable. Well, it was time for some straight talking, Elliot decided grimly, and this morning he was just the man to
do it.
‘Something I can do for you?’ Robert said as the SHO strode purposefully towards him.
‘More like the other way round, actually,’ he answered. ‘I want to know what the hell you think you’re doing?’
‘Right now, listening to my SHO not making a whole lot of sense,’ Robert replied smoothly.
‘It’s Hannah.’
‘There’s a problem with her work?’
‘Of course there isn’t a problem with her work,’ Elliot protested, thrusting his hands through his blond hair with exasperation. ‘Robert, you’re in love with her, she’s in love with you—’
‘And I don’t think my private life—or Dr Blake’s for that matter—is any of your concern.’
‘Dr Blake—Dr Blake. Dammit, Robert, this is Hannah we’re talking about!’ Elliot flared. ‘She’s the best thing that ever walked into your life, and she’s going to walk right out again if you don’t do something soon. Laura—’
‘You can stop right there!’ Robert interrupted, his face ice-cold.
‘No, I damn well won’t!’ the SHO retorted. ‘I never thought you and Laura were right for each other—’
‘And since when did you become an expert on women?’ Robert exclaimed, equally angry now. ‘Married to Donna for three years, divorced for five, and all you’ve got to show for your thirty-two years is a string of girlfriends, none of whom has lasted longer than a month!’
‘Which is why when someone special like Hannah comes along a man should grab hold of her with both hands,’ Elliot insisted. ‘Robert, you love her. Don’t drive her away because of a misplaced sense of pride. Hold onto her!’
Robert stared at him coldly, only the jerking of a muscle at the side of his jaw betraying just how very angry he was. ‘Have you finished?’
‘Robert, listen to me—’
‘Butt out of my life, Elliot. Butt out, and if you’ve got any sense, keep out!’
The nerve of the man—the sheer, unmitigated gall—Robert thought furiously as he strode down the treatment room. Kelly took one look at his face and scuttled quickly out of his path.
A Wife for Dr. Cunningham Page 16