I watch her effortlessly hold down a very squirmy five-month-old while changing a diaper. “And are you doing that?” she asks.
“Would I be telling you this if I weren’t?” I raise an eyebrow at her in annoyance. Why does she always think I’m so incapable of change?
“Touché,” she nods, sensing my displeasure with her faith in me.
“How are things with you and Jordan?” she changes the subject as she finishes zipping up Michaela’s pajamas.
I reach out and take the baby from her and head over to the rocking chair in the corner. Ashley hands me a pacifier and I snuggle Michaela as we rock. ‘‘It’s super awkward right now. Everything is fine when we talk business and about the plan with Dad, but it all feels flat and forced. It sucks. We were so close before, and I feel like I lost a really good friend.”
Her lip curls up on one side giving me half of a sad smile that reflects the same sad look in her eyes as she speaks. “Give him a little time, babe. He’ll get over it. He cares about you and I’m sure it’ll get better. Just not overnight.”
“I know,” I sigh gazing down at the sleepy baby in my arms. God, what I wouldn’t give to go back to being a blissfully ignorant child. Not a care in the world. “I feel awful this thing between us turned into such a mess but at the same time, it’s not my fault. But knowing that doesn’t make me feel less shitty.”
“You can’t control how other people feel,” she tries to comfort me. “If Jordan is half the guy you say he is, he’ll get through this and you guys will go back to being friends again. You need all the support you can get through this and Jordan knows that.”
I look up at her and let my mask fall. The mask I tend to keep up around everyone, including my best friends, so no one can see inside to the real me. I’ve been wearing it for so long it feels like a permanent part of my being. I’ve never liked to let anyone see my weakness because it’s something that can be used against you. I’ve seen it happen too often to others, and I vowed to myself a long time ago that I’d never allow that to happen to me. But I’m pretty sure it’s time to try out something new.
“Even with the smallest glimmer of light visible at the end of the tunnel, I don’t feel like this is ever going to end, Ash. Hit after hit. I’m strong and I try to be immune to it all, but I don’t know how much more I can take.”
Ashley squats down in front of me and places her hands on my knees. Her eyes are genuine as they bore into mine. “Quinn, you are one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. You’ve gotten me through the worst of times with that strength. Look at how far you have come just in a short period of time. You’ll make it through this, but not by feeling sorry for yourself. Where’s that inner bitch you’re known for?”
“Keep telling me I’m having a pity party and you’ll see her quicker than you think,” I laugh. This. This feels good. Being able to laugh at my life with Ash.
“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em, sweets,” she says using a voice I assume is supposed to sound like mine but doesn’t even come close.
We try our best to contain our laughter as to not wake the baby whose eyes just closed. “I don’t sound anything like that, sweets.”
“It made you smile,” she says with a smile of her own. “But I wasn’t kidding about the pity party, Quinn—sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t you. Don’t lose the strong person you are to your father; you’re going to need her for this battle.”
Her words wash over me and soak in. She’s right. I’ve told myself over and over again I’m not this weak person. I’m not going to let my father win. I’m going to take my life back. I can say those things until I’m blue in the face but they mean nothing if I’m still hanging around feeling sorry for myself.
Alex’s head pops into Michaela’s room. “You ready, angel?” he whispers. “I’ve got to be at the field pretty early tomorrow.”
My eyes flit from Alex to the baby and land on Ashley. “I think I am.”
“WHERE YOU GUYS going tonight?” Tiff asks as she rests her tiny body against the door frame between my bedroom and my bathroom.
My lips turn up in a grin at the mention of going out with Quinn. It’s been a week since I agreed to help her with this plan. A week of reconnecting without the past nipping at our feet. A week of regular talking. A week of nightly meetings or phone calls. I’m loving every minute of it. “We’re going to dinner and then I was thinking something fun and different like bowling.”
“What about the audience you’re going to have?” Her face scrunching as she asks. “I’d be weirded out knowing that someone was watching me and taking pictures.”
I don’t love this plan. Honestly, I think it’s terrible and I really don’t like the idea of someone watching us. It’s an invasion of our privacy. Unfortunately, it’s what she’s chosen to go with.
“I’m just going to try and make the best of it, Tiff. That’s all I can do.”
Tiff heads farther into my bathroom and props herself up on the counter. “I’m worried about this, Alex. I can’t watch you go through it all over again if this turns bad for Quinn.”
“What can I do?” I ask as I secure my hair in a knot at the nape of my neck. “I told her how I feel and that’s all I can do in this situation. The dark side of finance is not my forte. I don’t have another option to offer her. Jordan told her he’s confident in this route and she believes him. She’s made it clear this is how it’s going to go.”
Tiff’s eyebrows rise and the look on her face screams, “You have a say too,” but not really.
“I can act like a child and refuse to be a part of it because I don’t like it, but where’s that get me? What kind of man would I be if I did? Not the kind I ever want to be.”
“I know,” she says heaving out a huge sigh. “It’s one of the things that makes you such a great person.”
“Thanks, babe,” I smile leaning down to place a kiss on the top of her head before heading back into the bedroom.
“Doesn’t mean I won’t kick her ungrateful ass if she fucks this up again, Alex,” Tiff says following behind me. Her face and eyes are stern. She means business and I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my throat.
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
“Can we be honest here for a second?” Tiff asks, sitting down on the side of the bed. She crosses her legs Indian-style like a toddler and stares up at me with a glint of something I can’t place in her big chocolate eyes.
“Always,” I tell her, taking a seat next to her. “What’s going on?”
“How are you going to handle all of this?” Her eyes glass over and it looks like she’s ready to cry. “How are you going to deal with the dad who wants to send his daughter to prison? The ex-fiancé who wants to be all FBI undercover agent? He’ll never go away, you know, because he’s her new business partner. Are you going to be okay with him never leaving your life after he was going to marry the woman you love? Who turned out to be the woman he loves? And to top it off, you’re signing up to be followed around like it’s not a big deal. What if that guy catches some compromising photos of you, Alex? You might not be a celebrity, but you are surrounded by very famous people all the time. You’re a much respected member of the NFL. You represent a team at the top. A scandal can come out of anything in the sports world, you know that. I want to curl in a ball for you. This is so much to take on. You’re my best friend, and I’ll have your back, but I have to say that I think you’re biting off more than you can chew here. Why don’t you and Quinn wait until this whole thing is settled before you guys get back together?”
The words tumble out of Tiffany’s mouth in one long breath. Obviously, she’s been running possible bad outcomes through her head for a little bit. Her worry and sincerity choke me up. “You’re such a great person and I love you. It’s nice to have someone really care about me. Someone who will still back me up even though you don’t really like what I’m doing. Someone who always be the
re for me, no matter what, with no judgment.”
“I love you too, and I have to have your back. I moved across the country to have your back,” she jokes.
“You get why I have to do this for her then, don’t you?” I ask tilting my head and resting it on top of hers as I pull her flush against my side. “Can you turn your back on me right now and not be my friend until this whole thing blows over?”
“No,” she huffs insolently. “And that’s why I’m so worried. You won’t turn your back on her. Not when she needs you. But what happens if she decides it’s all too much and runs again? I’m all for you and Quinn getting back together, but I envisioned that starting with a few dates and lots of hot sex. Not rogue undercover missions to find falsified documents being used to blackmail Quinn so she can use them against her father. All while you get stalked by some damn PI. It’s crazy.”
“I know it sounds scary,” I squeeze her tighter. “But it will be over very quick. Her dad rebooked their wedding for January fourth. It will all be over by then. Plus, all I’m doing is going on a few dates with Quinn. So someone is documenting the whole thing. He’s on our side. It’s not like Jordan is really trying to catch Quinn doing anything wrong.”
I have my doubts about Jordan. He could really blindside us all and team up with the filth who is Louis Taylor and royally fuck Quinn. His proposed plan sounds a little too convenient for him for my liking.
“How about I promise you that if this ever becomes too much for me or I need to talk, I’ll come to you?”
“Pinky promise?” she chuckles, holding up her pinky.
“Seriously?” I tilt my head.
She nods her head as a devilish grin breaks across her lips. “Yup, because if you break the best friend pinky promise, you’re punished with a terrible love life, and that’s the last thing you want right now.”
“Are we twelve?”
“Shut up and pinky promise,” she laughs, wiggling her little finger at me.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I roll my eyes, hooking my finger around hers. “This makes me very non-masculine so you better appreciate it.”
“You’re such a baby,” she taunts as she smacks my arm. “I hope you don’t act like this on your date tonight. You definitely won’t be getting any then.”
THE LAST TWO weeks of my life have been utterly chaotic. I feel like I stepped onto the wildest of rides and can’t get off.
“You ready for tomorrow?” Jordan asks as we head out of his office.
Keeping up the charade of Jordan’s and my wedding is part of the plan to end this entire mess, so when I come here almost every night after I finish up at my own office, no one is none the wiser that I’m not really meeting my fiancé after work, but putting together a business plan to go along with the merger. Jordan and I are still going to merge Taylor Ventures and City Capital.
“Yes and no,” I answer. Tomorrow I’m going out to a public event with Alex on my arm, not Jordan. The Mathis Foundation is holding a holiday fundraiser for kids who don’t have families. Its goal is to raise enough money to provide these kids with a Christmas to remember. Since Tanner is the face of Mathis, Alex had already planned on going with Tiffany. Once we came to an understanding about how we were going to move forward, he asked me if I would accompany him instead.
Tomorrow should be just like old times. But at the same time, it’s not. There’s another agenda as well. I’m supposed to make sure that I get enough attention by being out with him and not wearing my engagement ring that it hits the papers Saturday. And becomes heavy ammunition for Jordan to take to my father.
“I’m nobody. Who the hell there would recognize me? It’s not like we’re going to a finance dinner,” I argued with Jordan when he told me the idea.
“Quinn, you’ve been pictured in and out of the papers over the last three months between your promotion, our engagement, the wedding, and my father dying. You might not draw a ton of attention, but your best friend and her husband do. You’ll be spending an evening with one of the most famous people in New York for the last three football seasons. You, who scandalously won’t be wearing your engagement ring, and Alex looking all cozy in a photo with Tanner and Ashley will get you noticed just enough to help our case with your dad.”
His logic made sense, all we would need is the right person to catch a pic and ask for my name. They’ll do their own digging to see who I am and because there was a huge spread on my wedding and another round of attention when it got it was postponed, they’ll sell it off.
When two rather large investment firms are being joined by marriage, it’s almost inevitable that they’ll become one huge conglomerate. There have been whispers about what Jordan and I will do after the wedding throughout the industry for the last few months.
I wasn’t really keen on the idea of using the event as part of this whole mess. This fundraiser is for children who don’t have much. The attention should be on them.
“You’re not taking attention away from the cause,” Alex and Ash both assured me a few nights ago when I had them come over so I could tell them about Jordan’s idea.
“No one other than us will know what’s going on, and no offense, honey,” Ashley said as she leaned over and placed her hand on my shoulder, “but you’re not Brad and Angelina. Most people don’t have a clue who you are and why you being there with Alex would be a bad thing, and you’re not going to cause a riot at the event.”
Alex tried really hard not to laugh, but it didn’t work. He let out a full belly laugh that was contagious. First Ash joined in and then me.
“Okay, I see your point, jeez,” I conceded, wiping a few rogue tears that got away while laughing.
“It will all be okay,” Jordan reassures me bring me back to the present. “Just go and have fun. The rest will take care of its self.”
I’m so grateful Jordan was the one who my father decided to try and marry me off to. Even with all the unsettled tension between us. There’s quite a few assholes out there who I could’ve just as easily gotten pushed into this with. Someone I would’ve had to work against instead of someone working to help me.
Jordan doesn’t have to be doing this with me.
Yes, he wants to see my father go down for what he was planning to do, but he could’ve just as easily said fuck it all and left me out to dry. This wouldn’t really have affected him too much. My father can’t fuck with him in the way he can fuck with me had he walked away like a lesser man would’ve.
“I don’t know how you do it,” Jordan tells me, shaking his head in disbelief. “How do you work alongside him day by day, knowing everything he’s trying to do to you and not kill him? I’m over here worrying about being able to keep my fingers from closing around his throat on Saturday.”
Jordan is meeting my father Saturday to drop off the pictures and start the main part of our plan. So much is happening in such a short period of time.
I give a sardonic laugh. “I’ve been spending my lunch hours with my therapist, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to control the homicidal rage that courses through my body at just the mention of his name.”
When we figured out my father was going to screw me either way, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t believe I wasn’t able to see it before. With every single thing he has done to force me into this, I have no idea why I ever thought I’d be able to get one over on him easily. My hatred for him has quadrupled in the last two weeks.
“Well, only two more days. It’s the beginning of the end for you. I’ll know if any of the pictures from tomorrow make it to the internet as soon as they do.”
We’ve been able to keep everything a big secret thus far. My father has no idea this wedding isn’t going to happen. Diana has been taking care of that part, “planning” the wedding. Or at least my father thinks she is. She’s been keeping him and my mother in the loop. Telling them she’s taking care of rearranging everything when in actuality she’s doing nothing. The only thing she has done is send out i
nvitations to the people who needed to get them in order to keep up appearances.
If everything goes according to plan we should have everything we need in the next couple of days to bring my father down.
“RELAX,” I WHISPER into Quinn’s ear as the soft melody of an old jazz song fills the room. The anxiety has been rolling off of her all night long. It’s almost palpable. “The night is almost over. At least try and enjoy part of it. This was supposed to be a nice night out for us.”
She looked so beautiful when she opened the door of her condo, I had to remind myself to close my mouth before the drool left a puddle on the floor for her to slip in. The satin fabric of her champagne colored gown clings to her body like a second skin, accentuating all the alluring curves of her perfect body.
Her hair swept over to one side pinned in big curls has a very 1920’s feel to it. The flawless skin of her neck has called to me all night long. Her lush lips, painted bright red, beg to be taken. If only her eyes weren’t ridden with a hundred different insecurities.
Most of the stress she’s dealing with comes from the waiting game of this plan for her father. I don’t really care for this scheme, but I don’t get a vote in it.
I also don’t get to be the one who ultimately fixes this problem for Quinn, and I’m trying to deal with the feelings that evokes in me. Having another man be the one to save your girl is a hard pill to swallow, but since I promised Quinn I’d be okay as long as we worked on it together that’s what I’m doing. I’m picking my battles at the moment because she’s got so much going on.
We’ve been working on rebuilding slowly, and I’ve been doing my best to keep cool about things neither of us has actual control over, like her father. No point in starting things off arguing over this when options are pretty limited to begin with.
Being back at square one with her is fucking torturous. We’ve been here before. I showed her who I was, how much I loved her, and proved she could trust me. Even made it past most of her walls, but they’re back up now and much tougher to get through. I’m paying for the sins of others and it fucking sucks, but I deal with it because Quinn is worth it.
Irrefutable (The Apprehensive Duet Book 2) Page 11