He sat up and grabbed my hand. He seemed to sense my indecision because he took the choice out of my hands.
“I’m gonna go rest for a little bit. You should probably lie down too for a little bit.”
“Okay.” He started towards the door and I couldn’t let him leave so I blurted out, “Do you want to rest in here with me?”
I wanted to smack myself in the forehead. My insecurities started taking over and a hole in the ground sounded like a pretty good place to hide right now.
“Sure. If you’re sure it’s okay.”
My head snapped up and I found myself vigorously nodding my head. He went around to the other side of the bed and we both climbed in. As we laid there my body sank further and further into the comfort of the bed and I became aware of how tired I actually was. He grabbed my hand and threaded his fingers with mine.
“How are you feeling? It must have hurt being jostled like that when I was carrying you.”
“Actually, I’m not feeling much at all. I took a pain pill before we went out, so I’m pretty good right now. The drowsiness is kicking in though.”
“Go to sleep.” He lifted my hand and I looked over as he placed a kiss on the palm of my hand. It felt very intimate and I found that I really liked it.
We slept the rest of the afternoon and his mother brought us dinner that night on a tray. He suggested that we watch a movie that we had already seen together, hoping it might trigger something. He put in Top Gun and I had to admit, I was kind of excited.
“I haven’t seen this movie in so long.” I looked over at him and he had an eyebrow raised. Oh yeah, we had just watched it together. “Well, from what I remember I haven’t seen it in a long time.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
He started arguing with me about how the movie ended, telling me that Charlie put two quarters in the jukebox at the end. I knew better because I had seen the movie so many times, but he still insisted. I got the feeling that we had done this part already. I chewed my bottom lip as I tried to recall something, but nothing came. Still, something was familiar about it.
“We’ve had this argument before haven’t we?”
“Yeah. The first time we watched it. I was hoping…” He turned back to the television, but didn’t finish the thought. We both knew what he was hoping. I just didn’t want to let him down if I couldn’t remember.
He stayed with me again that night and I slept peacefully. I didn’t feel bad any more about possibly leading him on. I had told him where I stood and he still came to me, wanting anything I could offer. I found that I was starting to enjoy his company and could actually see this going someplace. I just wondered what would happen when we left this bubble we were in.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Alex
My surgery for fixing my cheekbone was scheduled for tomorrow. I had gone to the hospital today and met with the doctor for a pre-surgery checkup. The swelling had gone down enough that they thought now was a good time to go in and repair the damage. He went over all the side effects with me and the dangers of surgery, but at this point, I just wanted my face fixed. Call me vain, but I didn’t want a saggy cheek for the rest of my life if it didn’t heal properly on its own.
Cole pulled me aside when we got back and told me he wanted to do something special for tonight. He wanted me to have a good night before surgery and I felt my heart warm at how thoughtful he was being. I spent a few hours resting in bed and he came to get me about five o’clock.
“Hey, I made us some dinner. I figured we should eat early and end the night early since you have to be at the hospital at seven a.m.”
I smiled and got up from the bed, following him into the kitchen.
“Mom and Dad went to a friends house so that we could have some privacy for the evening.”
He had the table laid out with Chicken Alfredo and a loaf of bread with olive oil and garlic set next to it in a dish. There was water on the table and a few pillar candles lit. The smell of french vanilla filled the air and I closed my eyes, savoring the scent. There was some music playing in the background and I recognized the song as Fools Rush In by Elvis Presley. My mother and father used to love to listen to Elvis. They would sing and dance to his music at least once a week. I smiled at the memory and took my seat.
The food was absolutely delicious. We talked for a little while about what kind of things we liked to do. Cole told me that he likes to run and that’s how he clears his mind when things get too stressful. I really liked to read and escape into another world for a while. Sometimes I read mystery books, other times fantasy. On occasion I read romance books, but it was hard to read about something that you knew was possible, but would probably never happen to you.
“So what do you want to do when you’re all healed?”
“I mostly just want to find a stable job. I feel like I’ve been running for so long and now that my parents’ murderer is dead, it feels like I can finally do that.”
“Were you afraid he would get out of jail and come after you? I know that sounds like a stupid question considering what happened.”
“I don’t know if I was afraid. I think it was more that my life felt like it was suspended in time or something. He was still alive and they weren’t. I guess I didn’t really know how to move forward with him still in the world.”
“What is it you hope for now that he’s gone?”
“I guess I want a family. It’s been really great with your mom. When I was driving all over the United States, moving from job to job, I always wondered what it would be like to have my parents still with me. To be able to call them and tell them about my day. Of course, if they were still here, I would have gone to college and I would have gotten a decent job. I would have had something to call home about.”
“Why didn’t you go to college?”
“Foster families don’t usually want to help you out with college tuition. I was basically shoved out the door when I turned eighteen. I had to find a job and someplace to stay. I lived in a transitional home for a few months. I saved up my money and got a crappy apartment over a laundromat, but it was the best feeling ever to have my own place. So I guess, yeah, I really want a family and stability. Someone to share my day with.”
My cheeks heated as I realized that I sounded like I was asking for everything but love. I wondered if he thought I was looking for a man to take care of me with no strings attached.
“I can see that. After I left the military, I craved to come home and have normal. It took me six months to get back on my feet and three years later, I still don’t function like a normal person.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was diagnosed with PTSD and I still have nightmares frequently, or I did.”
“What changed?”
He looked at me so intently that I almost looked away, but the intensity in his eyes held me to him. “You did.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was stunned and just kept looking at his eyes. I could see the truth there in them. He stood suddenly and held out his hand to me.
“Dance with me,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. Just like that, the moment was over and we eased into a comfortable intimacy as I took his hand and he pulled me close. He turned up the radio behind him and we danced to Hall and Oates’ Kiss On My List. I had the sense of deja vu as he slowly spun me around the room. Neither of us could really move all that fast, so he slowly spun me out and I laughed at how ridiculous we must look. He pulled me back in and we held hands as we tried to dance somewhat faster. I imagined we looked like a geriatric couple dancing.
Our next dance was faster than before and we both laughed as Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf came on. Cole thought that maybe we could do some fun dance moves to make it easier, but when he started to do The Sprinkler, a look of pain crossed his face and I couldn’t help but laugh. It was the worst, most pathetic Sprinkler I had ever seen. We both realized dancing fast was out no matter how we tried, so I wrapped my left arm around his neck and placed m
y right hand on his chest as we slow danced to a fast song.
I felt his heartbeat beneath my cheek and I closed my eyes, listening to the steady rhythm. I felt him run his fingers through my hair and started to laugh when The Righteous Brothers came on playing You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling. We continued to sway as the song played. Being held by Cole was an intoxicating feeling. He had a way of making me feel safe and loved when I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. His chest rumbled as he started singing. His voice a deep, rich sound.
Baby, baby. I get down on my knees for you.
If you would only love me like you used to do.
We had a love, a love, a love you don’t find every day.
So don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t let it slip away.
Then he got down on his knees in front of me and started pulling off his best Tom Cruise impersonation.
Baby. Baby. I’m begging you please. Please.
I need your love. I need your love.
So bring it on back
So bring it on back
Bring back that loving feeling.
Whoa that loving feeling
Bring back that loving feeling cause it’s gone, gone, gone.
And I can’t go on. Whoa, whoa, whoa
I had been laughing, but as he said the last words, I felt tears prick my eyes as I saw his face turn from fun to serious. He was literally down on his knees begging for me to come back to him. He stood and cupped my face with his hands and rested his forehead against mine as he finished the song.
Bring back that loving feeling
Whoa that loving feeling
I tilted my head up and pressed my lips to his. I was drawn to him and I no longer wanted to fight it. This man was pulling me from the darkness of my life and offering all of himself to me. He was loving and kind and had made me feel like I was his queen. I could very well be in love with this man. The song died down and I pulled back slightly to look in his eyes. They were smiling at me and my lips tilted up in a smile of my own.
Careless Whisper by George Michael came on and it’s not a romantic song, but it was great to have Cole hold me as we danced to it.
“So how does this time compare to the last time we danced together?”
“Well, the last time we ended up having sex on the floor.”
We laughed and I smacked his chest.
“I hope it wasn’t on your parents’ floor.”
“No, it wasn’t, thank God. Mom would have had a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry I can’t remember it. I bet it would have been a great memory,” I whispered.
“It was. It just means we get to make new ones.” He looked down at me and smiled. “This means I get to have sex with you for the first time twice.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “I get to have all of our firsts twice. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
I felt moisture build in my eyes at the sweetness in his statement. I didn’t want to cry though so I buried my face in his chest and continued to sway with him. Chicago’s Will You Still Love Me came on and I found it curious that most of these were love songs.
“Is it strange to you that all of these are love songs?”
“I may have made a donation to have them play love songs for an hour.” He smiled sheepishly down at me.
I kissed him, but this time I didn’t pull away. He trailed feather-light kisses over my injured cheek. His kisses healed a part of my shattered soul and made me want more from him. His hand slid behind my neck and up into my hair. My hands ran down his chest and I gripped the front on his jeans pulling him closer to me. His other hand trailed down my side and back up to graze the side of my breast. I moaned and he kissed across my jaw and I tilted my head as he kissed and sucked at my neck. His lips blazed a hot trail across my throat, burning like wildfire in my veins. He brought his hands to my face and placed light kisses on my lips and then my cheeks and my eyelids. His lips returned to mine and he kissed me gently, not wanting to hurt me.
Queen’s Another One Bites The Dust came on and I broke away from Cole breathing heavily.
“I guess your hour’s up.”
He smiled and then laughed. “I guess that’s all in how you interpret the song. Hey, I’m gonna get you too. Another one bites the dust.” He did some weird dance move that probably would have looked a lot smoother if he wasn’t injured and favoring one side. I laughed at his dance moves and did my own crazy dance that looked like a person with a broken hip doing The Twist. We didn’t care though. We were having fun. We both turned at a noise and saw his parents standing in the living room staring at us, trying to hold in their laughter. Cole clapped his hands together and got back to shaking it, so I joined in and his parents joined us. It wasn’t lost on us that his parents looked a lot better than us.
Crocodile Rock by Elton John came on and his parents showed us some dance moves that they had perfected back in the day. Cole and I tried to do some of the dance moves but failed miserably. We danced to a few more songs, but I could feel exhaustion starting to set in and I had to sit down.
“That was so much fun, but I’m exhausted now,” I said with a smile on my face.
“We’ll clean up the kitchen. You two head on back to lie down. You have an early morning and need plenty of rest.” His mother shooed us out of the kitchen and down the hall. I got cleaned up quickly and got in my pajamas. When I came out of the bathroom, Cole was in pajama pants and looked absolutely drool worthy. He shuffled around me to the bathroom and I fell into bed. By the time Cole came to bed a few minutes later, I was already half asleep.
The next morning, we headed off to the hospital early and I was prepped for my surgery in no time. I was really nervous, but Cole held my hand as long as they would let him. When I woke up later in my hospital room, Cole was there waiting for me, sitting next to my bed and holding my hand. I couldn’t figure out how I had misjudged him so badly after I woke up in the hospital, but I was glad the confusion was over. I drifted in and out over the next few hours and when I was awake, Cole read Harry Potter to me. He had never read it and said he was actually enjoying it. When visiting hours were over, the nurse came in and told Cole he had to leave. The alarms started going off as my heart started racing. Cole came over to me and started giving me sweet kisses and promising he wouldn’t leave me. He said he would be right back and stepped into the hallway with the nurse. Though he was trying to be quiet, I could hear every word he was saying.
“I need to stay here tonight with her.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s against hospital policy. You aren’t her husband so you can’t stay.”
“Look, she has really bad nightmares if I’m not with her.”
“Don’t worry. We’re going to sedate her and she won’t wake up at all during the night.”
“Oh, that’s great then. She can have nightmares and not be able to wake up from them. That sounds like a great plan. Do you really want her to have violent nightmares after she had surgery on her face? Because let me tell you something, if she has nightmares because I’m not here and ends up having to go back into surgery to have something repaired, I will sue this whole goddamned hospital and you’ll be the first one that I come after.”
His voice rose as he spoke to her and I felt a weird sort of satisfaction at having him defend me like that. We both knew that I would have several a night if he wasn’t there with me. Pain meds would only help so much if I woke up screaming my head off. He stepped back in a few minutes later and smiled at me.
“Told you I’d work it out.”
He went to sit in the chair, but I stopped him.
“You are not sleeping in the chair all night. Come lay in bed with me.”
“I don’t think so. I’ll end up hurting you.”
“Not if you sleep on my left side. Unless that will be uncomfortable for you?”
“Not at all, sweetheart.”
I sucked in a breath and tears stung my eyes. He hadn’t called me that since we first came home from the hospital
. I felt like things were finally the way they were supposed to be. He held my hand and flipped through the channels on tv, but then he set the remotes down and turned to look at me.
“I want you to consider something.”
“Okay.”
“I was wondering if, after a few days of being at home and the pain is less, maybe you would consider coming to stay with me?”
“Oh. Um. I’m not sure I’m ready for that Cole. I’m not ready to go and live with you and just pick up where we left off. I’m enjoying our time together, but I can’t promise anything more right now.”
“I’m not asking you to. I just think that it would be easier for us to get to know one another again if it wasn’t at my mom’s house. I’m going to be moving back home in a few days and I’d like to take you with me.”
“Why can’t you stay there? I mean, we already sleep in the same bed and your parents don’t care, so why does it matter?”
“Because I’m a man and I want to live in my own house. What if you were ready for sex, but my parents were home, which they usually are, what do we do? Wait until night when we can have sex quietly in our bedroom? If we sleep in the same bedroom at my parents’, why are you against coming home with me? If you decided you didn’t want to stay, you could move when you were feeling up to it.”
“Really? You haven’t exactly shown me that you can take a little bit from me. Granted, you’ve been very patient, but you’re an all or nothing kind of guy.”
“Damn right I am, and what’s so wrong with that? I want you to come home with me and put your trust in me that I’ll take care of you.”
Cole: A Romantic Thriller Novel (For The Love Of A Good Woman Book 2) Page 18