When she’s expelled everything in her stomach, she slumps sideways, resting her back against the tub, moaning and clutching her head. “I’ve got the spinnies,” she slurs. “Can’t see straight.”
A chuckle escapes my mouth as I bend down and wipe her mouth with a towel. “Stay put.” I run into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water and some pills. When I return, she’s lying on her side on the cold tile floor. “Shit.” I gently shake her shoulders. “Summer. Wake up.”
“Wha?” She groans, swatting her hands at me. “Go away. Sleeping.” She’s even fucking adorable when she’s all messy and drunk. I prop her upright. “Open your eyes. I need you to take this.”
She opens her eyes, staring unfocused at me. Lifting her hand, she traces her fingers across my cheek. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” I tease, opening her mouth and bringing the bottle to her mouth. “Drink.”
She downs it like a trooper, letting me open her mouth and place the pills inside. Her eyes never leave mine, and they’re clearer and less tired looking now. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” she admits, keeping her eyes trained on mine. “I think that could be a problem.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, helping her stand up. She sways unsteadily, but I’ve got my arm wrapped firmly around her back and I won’t let her fall. “You’re too tempting for your own good, Summer.”
“I like you,” she murmurs, resting her head on my shoulder. “I like you more than I should.”
She’ll be so embarrassed tomorrow when she finds out she said all this. However, I doubt she’ll remember. Which is why I give her the same honesty in return.
“I know, Summer. Believe me, I feel the same way.”
“You do?” She tries to circle her arms around my neck, but they flop back to her side, and I chuckle again.
“I think this is a conversation for another day. You need to get to bed and sleep this off.” Glancing down, I notice the puke on her shirt and the end strands of her hair. “But you need to shower first.” There’s no way she can stand up by herself, so I place her back on the ground while I start the shower and gather a towel and toiletries. I test the water, ensuring it’s lukewarm before I kneel beside her, gently removing her clothes.
I try not to look as I strip her even though I know every square inch of her body intimately. I leave her in her panties and kick my sweats off so I’m only in my boxers. Then I lift her into the shower, placing her directly under the spray of water with her back pressed up against my chest. She shrieks as the stream of water beats down on her, but I keep my arm wrapped around her waist, telling her she’s okay and I’ve got this.
I take my time washing her. Gently rubbing the cloth up and down her arms, over her tummy, across her breasts, and down over her shoulders and back. I’m painfully hard, even though I’m trying my best to be good here, but Summer only has to look at me to turn me on.
The little whimpers and moans of pleasure leaving her mouth aren’t helping either. When my fingers massage the shampoo into her hair, I almost come on the spot as she gasps and writhes against me, rubbing her ass against my erection, confirming she’s as horny as me. Thoughts of pinning her to the wall, and fucking her from behind, invade my mind, torturing me with visions of something I want but can never have. And even if I could, I would never do that now. Not when she’s so drunk and incapable of thinking clearly.
“Oh, God, Ryan.” She moans, slinging her arm back and around my neck. “I’m so horny. Fuck me. Please.”
Kill. Me. Now.
It takes enormous willpower to turn her down especially when she slides her hand between our bodies, palming my hard dick. I want nothing more than to let her drop to her knees and suck me off, but I won’t disrespect her like that. Not when she’s not in her right mind to make such a call.
I remove her hand, keeping a hold of her as I reach over and turn the shower off. “You’re drunk, Summer, and you need to sleep this off.”
“No,” she pouts, twisting around, so she’s facing me. Her nipples are hard peaks jutting into my chest, fueling the arousal coursing through my body. “I need to sleep with you.” She stretches up to kiss me, and I twist my head to the side so her lips press against my cheek.
“It’s not happening, babe.” I lift her out and swaddle her in a towel before slipping one around my hips. I tug my wet boxers off underneath the towel before urging her to do the same.
“You take them off me,” she challenges with a glint in her eye.
“I can’t touch you there.”
“Why not? You did before?”
“Summer. Please. Just remove your panties. You can’t get in bed with them on.”
Her eyes flare. “Fine.” She deliberately drops the towel, hooking her thumbs into the side of her panties and pulling them down her legs. She sways, and I hold her elbows to steady her as she removes the last item of clothing. I keep my eyes fixated on her face despite the almost overwhelming urge to lower my gaze to her gorgeous tits.
When she kicks the panties away, I swaddle her in the towel and carry her into her room. I place her down carefully on the bed, gently patting her skin dry. Her eyes roll back and forth, and she’s close to passing out again.
Removing her sleep shorts and tank from under her pillow, I help put them on her before grabbing the hairdryer from her bedside table and sitting up behind her on the bed. I dry her hair as she leans back against my chest, and it’s one of the most intimate moments of my life. Her eyes flutter open and closed, and she holds onto my arm, her soft touch and unspoken trust reaching places deep inside me.
When her hair is dry, I help her into the bed, tugging the covers up under her chin. “Sleep well,” I whisper, as she clings to the last vestiges of consciousness.
I straighten up and her arm darts out, brushing my leg. “Don’t go,” she whispers in a sleep-drenched voice. “Stay with me.”
“I wish I could,” I whisper, brushing strands of silky hair back off her face as she finally succumbs to slumber. “I want to so very much, but I can’t.” I wait another couple minutes, making sure she’s fast asleep before I slip out of her room. I snatch another bottle of water and a couple pills and leave them by her bed before returning to my room where I toss and turn in a restless sleep for the remainder of the night.
I drag my weary ass out of bed at eleven a.m. the following morning, yawning as I walk into the kitchen.
Summer’s bedroom door is still closed, and there’s no sign of life out here, so I figure she’s still sleeping. We don’t have to be at the gym until three, so we have a few hours to relax before our shifts start. She’s covering the front desk alone today as a kind of dummy run before next weekend when Miley and Austin are in London. They’re away from Thursday night until Tuesday afternoon, and Summer, Derrick, and I are filling in for them.
I make a pot of coffee, deciding to call my sister before I make breakfast. “I’m so glad you called,” Gabby says when she answers. “I’ve wanted to call you all week, but Slate said to give you time. I’m sorry about Sunday, Ryan. I swear I didn’t know she was dropping by.”
The anguish and guilt in my sister’s tone are like a punch in the gut. I never wanted her to get caught in the crossfire, let alone ruin her friendship with her best friend, but that’s exactly what happened when Myndi and I broke up and I feel awful about that. “It’s okay, Tornado. I know you didn’t know, and I don’t blame you. I’m the one who should apologize to you for ruining your dinner party.”
“You ruined nothing, Ryan. We had a nice time. At least until that point.”
“Why is she here?”
There’s a pregnant pause before Gabby replies. “Her and Will are engaged, and they wanted to come back home before the baby is born,” she quietly confirms, and I hate the little stab of pain that accompanies her words. “They have both secured jobs at the hospital.”
I say nothing for a while. “All I ask is that you don’t inv
ite her over when I’m there.”
“I’ll keep my distance from her, Ryan. You’re my brother. You come first.”
Her loyalty warms my frozen bones. “I love you, Gabby. So fucking much, but you’ve sacrificed enough for me. She was your best friend. You don’t have to cut her out of your life anymore. Not because of me. Just keep us apart. Never tell me anything about her, and things will be fine.”
Silence engulfs us again. “What happened, Ryan? Where did it go wrong for you two because I don’t understand?”
This isn’t the first time she’s asked me, but I couldn’t tell her back then, and I can’t tell her now. “It’s water under the bridge now, Tornado. She’s moved on.”
“But you haven’t,” she supplies. “I know whatever happened hurt you, and I hate seeing you like this. I want you to find your person and be happy.”
“I am happy,” I lie. “I don’t need a woman to make me feel complete.”
“Oh, Ryan.” Her voice cracks, and I hate to upset my sister.
“Stop worrying, Gabby. I like my life exactly the way it is. Not all of us are destined for marriage and a family.”
I once harbored those dreams. Came close to turning them into reality. Until they came crashing down around me. Now I know I’ll never have that, because I’m not cut out to be a husband or a father.
CHAPTER 13
Summer
My tongue is glued to the top of my mouth when I finally emerge from my alcohol-induced sleep coma. Beams of buttery sunshine stream into my room through the gap in the blinds, confirming it’s time to get my lazy butt up out of the bed. I’m yawning as I sluggishly climb out from under my warm comforter, stretching my arms out over my head. My tummy rumbles as hunger claws at my insides.
Memories of last night resurrect in my mind while I toe on my slippers and wrap a robe around my body. I sit on the edge of the bed, brushing my hair as I piece back the events of last night. I remember how crazy the frat party was. I also remember consuming copious red cups. And dancing on top of a table with Hannah. Making out with Sean. Feeling sick in the Uber on the ride here.
Hell.
I drop the brush, cradling my head in my hands as I remember Jordan referring to me as Justin’s girl and Ryan angrily kicking Sean and him out.
I puked.
A lot.
And Ryan took care of me.
Vague recollections of him showering with me awaken my libido, and my pussy pulses with renewed desire. I remember what I said to him and asking him to stay with me.
I suppose it could’ve been a lot worse.
I could’ve puked on him.
Or thrown myself at him.
Or said way worse.
Considering how smashed I was, I think I got away lightly.
As I glance at the water and pills by my bed, my heart does a funny little twist. Ryan could easily have taken advantage of me last night, but he was a perfect gentleman, and he took such good care of me.
The more I get to know him, the harder it is to deny that I crave his touch as much as I crave his company.
I pad out of my bedroom, taking a pee and brushing my teeth before wandering in the direction of the delicious aromas wafting from the kitchen. Ryan is standing at the stove, singing along to the song playing on his iPhone as he cooks something in the skillet.
“Morning.” I round the island unit, making a beeline for the coffeepot.
“Fuck.” He slams the skillet down on the stove. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Not my fault you were too busy singing to notice my arrival,” I tease, pouring myself a giant mug of coffee.
He steps behind me, reaching over my head to extract two plates from the cupboard. Heat rolls off him, crashing into me, and every tiny hair on my body stands alert. My lips stall around the rim of my mug as he leans into me, setting the plates down and bracing one hand on the edge of the counter. With his other hand, he gently touches my arm. “How are you feeling today?” There’s a slightly rough edge to his deep voice.
“Ugh. Okay,” I splutter, as his finger brushes up and down my arm.
He’s barely touching me.
It’s the lightest of caresses, but it’s wholly intimate, and I long to turn around and latch my mouth onto his. To wrap my legs around his waist and grind my hips against his hard-on. To yank his sweats down, push my panties aside, and direct his cock inside me. To feel him moving as one with me so I forget I exist on this planet without him.
“Good.” He steps back, and I feel bereft. “I hope you’re hungry and that you like omelets.”
“I love them,” I reply, my voice coming out a little more high-pitched than usual. I hop up onto a stool, quietly sipping my coffee as he silently works at the stove.
A few minutes later, he slides a plate with a delicious-looking tomato and ham omelet across. “Dig in.” He takes the stool beside me, wasting no time devouring his brunch.
“This is so good,” I say in between mouthfuls of the fluffy, cheesy goodness. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiles at me, and my heart starts cartwheels.
It’s futile ignoring what’s happening between us.
I’m attracted to him.
I like his company.
And I want to get to know him better.
More intimately.
There. I’ve finally said it. I’ve finally admitted it to myself, and the world is still standing.
“And thank you for looking after me last night. I really appreciate how much of a gentleman you were.” I eye him directly as we speak so he can tell I’m genuine.
“It’s no problem. You were pretty wasted.”
“I was.” He chuckles, and I frown. “What?”
“You never react how I expect you to. It would embarrass most girls, but you own that shit.”
I grin, shrugging. “No point deluding myself or you. And I’m not embarrassed for speaking my mind. I meant every word.”
He stalls with his fork halfway to his mouth. Now it’s his turn to ask, “What?”
I flash him my most seductive smile. “I meant it when I said you were beautiful and I really liked you.”
“I could say the same, but it doesn’t change a thing.”
“Why not?” I set my silverware down, swiveling on my stool to face him. Our legs brush, and a jolt of electricity zips through me. His leg jerks, and I know he felt it too. “You can’t deny we have chemistry. I know you’re attracted to me as much as I’m attracted to you.”
“I’m too old for you, Summer.”
I scoff. “Seriously? That’s your objection?”
“And your brother is my best friend. He most definitely wouldn’t approve.”
“I’m not suggesting we run off and elope.” I roll my eyes.
“What are you suggesting?”
I haven’t really given it much thought, but I don’t want to waste the opportunity either. “A friends with benefits arrangement,” I blurt. His eyes pop wide, and I blabber on before he can shut me down. “Having sex has awakened a side of me I’ve never explored. I want to discover my likes and dislikes. To explore my sexuality with someone I trust. We’re attracted to one another, and neither of us is interested in dating or a relationship, so it seems like a perfect solution.”
I pat myself on the back for coming up with such an ingenious plan on the spur of the moment. Especially when I’m so hungover.
“Let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” he says, leaning back and staring at me with an incredulous expression. “You want me to educate you about sex, behind your brother’s back, but you’re not interested in any relationship outside of a sexual one?”
“That’s about it in a nutshell.” I nervously tuck my hair behind my ears, afraid he’ll turn me down because it sounds so…clinical, so impersonal, when it’s put like that. “But we’d be friends. Obviously. I mean, we are friends, right?”
“I’m not sure I could just be friends with you,” he says with a
hint of sadness in his tone. He cups my face in his large hands, examining my face. “And deciding to have sex behind your brother’s back is a recipe for disaster. If he found out, he’d quite likely kill me.”
“We’ll be careful. He won’t find out.” I’m grasping at straws because it feels like I’ve already lost this battle.
His thumb presses into my lower lip, and he stares at my mouth, looking conflicted. I wait with bated breath for him to decide. When he lifts his chin to look at me, my euphoria dies when I spot the decision on his face.
“I think you’re breathtaking, Summer. Truly. Inside and out. And making love to you was incredible, but I’m not the kind of man you should be mixed up with. You need to find a guy your own age. One who will respect you and treat you right.” He stands, clearing away our plates. “Whatever this attraction is between us, it’s got to end. Nothing else will happen. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but in time, you’ll see it’s for the best.”
✽✽✽
“I’m such an idiot,” I tell Hannah over lunch in this dinky little café the following day. “And I’m embarrassed. And now I’m stuck working with him, and it’s awkward. We didn’t speak at all in the car on the way to and from work, and at the gym, all our interactions were about professional matters, but it was weird and uncomfortable, and now, I’m terrified Austin will pick up on something and read into it, which would be comical, considering nothing’s going on and it never will because he only sees me as this inexperienced little kid with nothing to offer him.”
“Wow. Breathe, girlfriend,” Hannah says, slanting me a sympathetic look. “And it’s his loss. Not yours. The world is your oyster, babe, remember?”
“It’s hard to hold on to grandiose notions when I’m feeling deflated.”
“You’ll bounce back, and Jordan says Sean is crazy about you. He keeps asking for your number. You should go out with him.”
“I thought Jordy is opposed to me dating other guys, or it’s just Ryan he has issue with?”
She cringes a little. “It’s Ryan, but that doesn’t mean he won’t vet any potential dates or hookups. He promised Justin he’d look out for you.”
No Feelings Involved: A Brother's Best Friend Standalone Romance Page 11