by Claire Adams
“Wow, you really should do that more often.”
“What?”
“That smile. Damn you must have been a real heart breaker in your day,” I said to Nate
“Hey! I’m not that old. I can still be a heartbreaker,” he said as he tossed me a smile again. “But you should smile more often also. You could knock a guy off his chair with that grin of yours.”
But Nate was right: I hadn’t really smiled much in a very long time. It felt good to feel carefree for that moment. It felt like I was myself again, even if only for a few seconds of time. Then I heard something moving outside the window and dropped my fork as I swung around in my chair in utter terror.
The noise wasn’t particularly scary, so I didn’t know why I had done that. But after turning around, I saw out the window that there were two squirrels running around a tree, certainly nothing to be fearful of.
“That will calm down, you know, the reaction to things like that,” Nate said. “You’re lucky it wasn’t one of the crazy raccoons that live out here. They will jump right up on the porch and go through all my things like they own the place.”
“What?” I asked as I turned back toward my plate.
“The hyper vigilance. You’ll learn to calm down again, I promise.”
His words felt like they were coming from someone who really understood what I was going through. I trusted him. I didn’t know him, but I trusted Nate very much. If he said the constant fear I was feeling was going to calm down, I couldn’t wait to prove him right. It was exhausting to always feel like someone was coming to murder you.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, anything,” Nate said as he turned toward me.
“Do you think Stephano and his men are looking for me?”
My question caught him off guard and I knew he wasn’t going to answer me even if he knew the answer. Especially after seeing me freak out over the last few days, Nate wasn’t about to do anything that would add more fear into my life. I appreciated that very much, but I did want to know if I was still in danger.
“I honestly don’t know. I thought he died that night, but we don’t really have proof of that.”
“If he is alive, he’s going to want me dead, isn’t he?”
Nate thought for a long time before he answered me. His eyes looked serious and he made a point to look deep into my eyes as he talked, and then he winked at me.
“Well that would be damn stupid of him, since we’re going to teach you how to kill a man.”
I had to laugh at the notion that I would actually be strong enough to kill a man. I couldn’t imagine I would ever feel strong again at all. But having Nate around and believing in me did give me hope that I would be able to work toward something stronger in my future. And who knows? Maybe someday I would feel like I was powerful and in control again.
Chapter 8
NATE
It was a lie. I knew that Stephano was alive and I knew he wanted to kill Ana. But the truth was that he had no idea where she was. He didn’t know who any of us were so he really didn’t know where to start looking for her. We were lucky that no one in the Miami scene really knew us. But I wouldn’t put my guard down too much when it came to Stephano. He was a slippery guy and could find out what he wanted to know by spending a few hundred thousand dollars. It just depended on how much he wanted to get revenge.
I suspected a man like Stephano probably wanted revenge though. We let all his women go, which had to of cost him millions of dollars. Not to mention the fact that we made him look like a fool by taking the women right out of his home. Stephano Copal was going to come after us for revenge, I was positive of that; I just didn’t know how long he would wait. It was entirely possible that he would wait years.
There were many options to take care of a man like Stephano, but none of them were legal and I didn’t feel like getting into any sort of trouble before I started my own business. For the time being, I was content to wait and see what Stephano brought out in his search for Ana and the other women.
“Do you have workout clothes with you?” I asked as I remembered she probably didn’t have many things of her own.
I felt horrible for Ana. She had traveled all the way to the United States thinking she was in love, but instead found a heartless man who wanted to sell her to the highest bidder. I wasn’t a big fan of romance, but I knew that the ladies liked it and it was sad that things had turned so horribly wrong for Ana in her search for prince charming.
“That’s about all I have. Jordan brought me some while I was at the treatment center when I asked her for a pair of tennis shoes.”
“Let me guess, she brought you three pairs of tennis shoes too,” I joked.
I didn’t know Jordan very well yet, but what I did know was that she and Ana were like sisters. Jordan loved Ana and had done absolutely everything in her power to find her friend and bring her to safety. Without Jordan, Ana would have forever been lost in the dark market of sex trafficking. I also knew that Jordan didn’t do anything half-assed; she liked to go overboard for sure. When I first met Jordan, I said I liked drinking Vodka instead of beer. When we got back from rescuing Ana, there were eight cases of Russian vodka on my porch. Jordan went all out, and I suspected when Ana was back to herself, she probably would go all the way with whatever it was she decided to do with her life.
“Yeah, in all my favorite colors, too. I’ll get changed. Are we going for a run?”
“Yep, just a short five miles or so,” I joked.
“How about I do one mile and then wait for you,” Ana said with a beautiful smile.
I really did love her smile. It felt like she lit the whole room up when she smiled and I felt powerful for doing or saying anything that would bring that happiness to her face.
“Just do what you can.”
“I used to run a lot before I came here. But I haven’t tried to run lately. Never felt like I wanted to collapse from exhaustion yet.”
“And you’ve already done that, so you’re ready to run now.”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
When we headed out for our run, the sun had just started to lighten up the sky. It was my favorite time of day, not quiet sunrise, but not nighttime either. I kept my pace slow and my eyes on Ana as we navigated the small trail that I had made through the forest leading away from my home.
“How ya feeling?” I asked as we started slowly up a hill.
“Surprisingly well. I’ve got some steam in me; we can pick up the pace if you’d like.”
She was a spunky one for sure. One minute collapsing because she was utterly not taking care of herself at all, then the very next day she’s running up a Georgian mountain and keeping up with me. I liked her grit. Ana wasn’t going to let herself be kept down and I loved that. It was exactly how I looked at setbacks in my life. Sure, there were going to be times when things didn’t go your way, but you had to keep moving forward and take control of your own life.
“Oh, well, why don’t you keep the pace. I’ll just follow your lead,” I said as I motioned for her to go ahead of me.
“Are you sure?” she questioned.
“Stop questioning everything and listen to your damn body. Go the pace that you want to. It’s going to help relieve your stress; trust me.”
“I do trust you,” Ana said as she flashed me a smile.
Those words penetrated into my gut as she took off running in front of me. For a girl like Ana to say she trusted me, that was huge. She didn’t have a reason to trust me. All I had done was carry her out of the hell she was in. I felt honored that in her world of untrusting craziness, she felt like I was worthy of her trust.
I saw a power come over Ana as we made our way down the trail. Over hills, around corners, she led as if she had run the same trail a hundred times before. At the start of our run, she had been hunched over and looking at the ground, but now she had her head up, was pumping her arms, and in excellent running form. I could tell she was a runn
er by the way she held her arms in close to her side when she got tired. People who didn’t run a lot tended to get sloppy when they got tired, but runners knew that if they could hold their form, they weren’t tired enough to quiet just yet.
“How far we going?” Ana yelled back to me.
“As far as you want.”
She gave me what I could only label as a suspicious grin, then turned forward and kept running. I’m pretty sure she even picked up the pace a little bit. I was good to go though. After years in the military, running long distances had become second nature to me. I was in great shape and long runs were boring alone; it was going to be nice to have Ana around for some good, long running.
Running gave me the opportunity to think and clear my mind. It was like my therapy, and I loved to run through the woods behind my house. The trail we were running on was made by me as a guide so I wouldn’t have to worry about jumping over bushes and trees while out on my run. It was just one of many tasks I had taken on over the years to keep me busy when I was off from jobs.
I liked to stay busy. It was calming to me and helped me work through all my own, horrible memories that rattled through my brain when things were calm. It was a weird balance to want to live in the woods because there was nothing to do out there, but also I wanted to stay busy. My workout shed, my home, and wraparound porch had all been built by me. The art of working with my hands and staying busy was just the right solution for my mind to stay focused.
As I glanced at my distance tracker on my wrist, I realized we had already run almost five miles and had yet to turn around. This run had turned into a much longer one than I had planned. I would have packed some water and drinks if I had known we were going to be out for so long. I felt the fatigue setting in, but as I looked up at Ana, she appeared to be ready to run another five miles.
“We should probably turn around soon; we’re out five miles already.”
“Really?” Ana said as she slowed to a jog.
The surprise was evident on her face, and I couldn’t help but laugh. She had probably been spacing out and thinking, just as I had been doing. It was really good to see her so happy though and I’d gladly go on a run with her every day if it mean she would smile as if she was. Ana need more smiling in her life, that was for sure.
“Yep; want to take a break and then head back?”
“I’m good, no break needed. Do you need a break?”
Her sudden confidence in her physical abilities delighted me. I liked seeing her feeling so willing to take on the world. But a little part of me felt like I should be able to keep up with her without taking a break; yet all I wanted to do was take a break. Unfortunately, my masculinity won and I opted not to take a break.
“Oh, no. I’m good to go. Let’s do this. Should we race back?” I teased.
“Oh, I’d beat you for sure.”
I was pretty sure she was right. The endorphin high that Ana was on was insurmountable. I saw it in her eyes and knew she was going to beat me back. But a little wager still seemed like fun.
“I’ll take that bet.”
“I like bets. Let’s put some stakes on this,” Ana joked.
“You want to bet me money?”
Ana didn’t have any money, so I wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to put up as the stakes to our bet. But I liked seeing her get worked up. I was totally not going to beat her back to the house though, so I needed the bet to be in my favor of course.
“No. not money. If I beat you back, you’ll till up some land for me to plant a garden.”
“Okay, and what about if I win?”
“That’s not going to happen,” she winked at me and took off running.
I laughed at her excitement, but still took off running behind her in an effort to win. I’d have no problem at all helping her with a garden. It was one of the things that had been on my list of projects to get done while I was out there. Every year I wanted to start it, but then I’d take a job and have to leave the project for later on.
Ana had a kick going that I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with. Her slim frame and good form had obviously come from years of running and I felt ill equipped to match her. But I was going to do my best not to be left behind. I kicked my ass into gear, but I still fell farther and farther behind her as she ran.
There was a power in her stride. She had a genuine joy that I could see even as I got farther behind her. Ana was testing her physical limits. She was seeing what her body could do even after going through such a horrible time. It was exactly what I had done after my last deployment with the Navy Seals. The endorphins are going and your body is functioning better than you thought it would, so you keep pushing it and pushing it, waiting for it to give up and break. But the great thing about our bodies is that they are resilient and they don’t like to give up.
Ana didn’t look back at me. She didn’t check to see if I was catching up to her at all. She wasn’t in a race with me any longer. Ana was racing against herself. I was no match for that kind of determination and I slowed my run to a jog. I knew when I was outmatched.
Being in the Navy Seals wasn’t just about being the best. I learned when I needed others and when I needed to accept my limitations. It had been in my training from the beginning. Ana didn’t have that training and I could tell she was still in the process of learning when she could push through things and when she needed to ask others for help. It was a long road ahead for her.
When I finally arrived back at the house, Ana was sitting on the porch with her feet up and holding a large glass of ice water. She looked like she had been sitting there for at least twenty minutes before I arrived. Although I knew it was more like three or four minutes. It was nice to see her humor coming out as she made it look like she had been waiting forever for me.
“I guess I’m making you a garden,” I said with a smile as Ana handed me a glass of water.
“I guess you are.”
“You did great out there. How did that feel?”
“Feel? I don’t know. I don’t feel anything anymore. Or I feel everything all at once.”
“I understand.”
I sat down next to Ana and put my feet up on the handrail like she had hers. It was mid morning now, the sun was warming up the woods, and the animals were all wide-awake. The birds chirped, the squirrels ran through the trees, and Ana sat smiling and looking out at the wilderness. She had a look of happiness and contentment that I hadn’t seen on any woman who had ever visited my house. The wilderness certainly wasn’t for everyone, but I was happy to see that Ana was enjoying it.
We sat on that porch for a good three hours in almost complete silence. No obligation to talk, no need to fill the air with our words, just an utter enjoyment of the peace that we were surrounded by.
There weren’t too many people in the world that I could sit next to and feel totally comfortable with, but Ana was apparently one of those people. I felt like I had known her for years as we sat together and watched the day go by. We laid our heads back and looked into the trees, watched the wildlife fly around the forest, and just enjoyed the peace and quiet that was going on right there in front of us.
I loved my house and where it was located. It wasn’t near any highways, or even major roads for that matter. I could walk for hours without ever coming across my neighbors. Even the other houses that were out in the woods were empty most of the time, people from the city just used them for vacation homes when they wanted to get away from the hustle of their day-to-day life. But I got to stay there all the time and was always away from the hustle.
My wooded house was the perfect way for me to escape the reality of the world when I wasn’t working. I loved it and didn’t often share it with people in my life. Even my own family hadn’t been out to my house very often; I usually ended up driving into town and just seeing them there.
It felt right to have Ana there with me, though. It felt perfect.
Chapter 9
ANA
Nate and I had established a mutual respect by the end of our first week together. I did as he asked and made sure to eat meals and tried to sleep the best I could in the evenings and Nate got my garden started for me so I could work on planting some vegetables.
Gardening wasn’t something that I knew about, really. I had just enjoyed the garden so much at the treatment center that I wanted to try my hand at one of my own. Well sort of my own, it was Nate’s house and I wasn’t delusional; I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to leave the place I was now calling home.
Working with my hands in the dirt of the garden was like a form of meditation for me. I could move up and down the rows as I planted seeds and then fertilized one section at a time. As the seeds started to grow, I went out there daily to water them and I spent hours weeding the garden area, and even a little around Nate’s house.
For me, gardening was my way of thinking and working through everything that was going on for me. It didn’t seem like work at all. Instead, it was my relaxation and I wanted Nate’s home to feel as much like my home as it could for the time being.
Home was such a foreign concept to me lately. I hadn’t had a place I considered my own for a very long time. But Nate’s house felt like I belonged there. The huge trees protected over us during the day and at night they seemed to clear out of the way and let us look up into the sky.
Nate was great with me and we had been nothing but appropriate with each other since the night I kissed him. He had projects he was always working on around the house and I found things to do as well. I had started to get used to this routine when the weekend came and Jordan and Chase arrived for a visit.
I felt better than ever when they came to visit us though. I hadn’t had many episodes of feeling out of control at all during the week. Nate and I went running each morning and then split and did our own thing for most of the afternoons. Sometimes I would even stay on the front porch for hours and hours reading books and watching Nate as he worked on his building projects.