The Convenient Marriage

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The Convenient Marriage Page 23

by Джорджетт Хейер


  Captain Heron opened the door for her to pass out into the hall. “It was not considered advisable,” he said, “but I am charged with messages for you.”

  “N-Not advisable? Why not?” asked Horatia, looking over her shoulder.

  Captain Heron waited until they had reached the library before he answered. “You see, Horry, I am happy to tell you that Lizzie is in a delicate situation just now.”

  “Happy to tell me?” echoed Horatia. “Oh! Oh, I see! How famous, Edward! Why, I shall be an aunt! Rule shall take me to B-Bath directly after the Newmarket M-meeting. That is, if he d-doesn’t divorce me,” she added gloomily.

  “Good God, Horry, it’s not as bad as that?” cried Heron, aghast.

  “N-no, it isn’t, but if I d-don’t get my brooch back, I daresay he will. I am a b-bad wife, Edward. I see it now.”

  Captain Heron took his seat beside her on the sopha, and possessed himself of her hand. “Poor Horry!” he said gently. “Will you tell me all about it, right from the start?”

  The story that was haltingly told him was rather involved, but he unravelled it after a time, and gave it as his opinion that there would be no divorce. “But I think one thing, Horry,” he said. “You should tell Rule.”

  “I c-can’t, and I won’t,” said Horatia vehemently. “Who ever heard such a story?”

  “It is an odd story,” he admitted. “But I think he would believe you.”

  “N-not after all the stupid things I’ve done. And if he d-did he would have to c-call Lethbridge out, or something, and that would m-make a scandal, and he’d n-never forgive me for having b-been the cause of it.”

  Captain Heron held his peace. He reflected that there might well be more behind the story. He was not very well acquainted with Rule, but he remembered that Elizabeth had perceived the inflexibility about the Earl’s mouth, and had owned to some misgivings. Captain Heron had great faith in his wife’s judgement. It did not seem to him, from what Horatia unconsciously told him, that the pair were living in that perfect state of conjugal happiness which he and his fair Lizzie enjoyed. If there was already a slight coldness between them (which, since Horatia had declined going to Meering, there seemed to be) it was perhaps an ill moment to choose for the recounting of this improbable adventure. At the same time Captain Heron was not inclined to place much reliance on his brother-in-law’s powers of persuasion. He patted Horatia’s hand, and assured her it would all come right, but inwardly he was not very hopeful. However, he felt that he owed a great debt of gratitude to her for having given him his Lizzie, and it was with real sincerity that he offered to help her in any way that he could.

  “I knew you w-would, Edward,” said Horatia, rather tremulously. “But perhaps P-Pel will get it, and then everything will be all right.”

  It was a long time before the Viscount, still accompanied by the faithful Sir Roland, returned to Grosvenor Square, and Horatia had begun to fret, picturing some hideous scene of combat, convinced that the Viscount’s lifeless body would at any moment be borne in. When at last he walked in, she almost hurled herself on his chest. “Oh, P-Pel, I made sure you were d-dead!” she cried.

  “Dead? Why the deuce should I be dead?” said the Viscountv removing his elegant cloth coat from her clutch. “No, I haven’t got the brooch. The fellow wasn’t in, blister him!”

  “Not in? Then what are we to d-do?”

  “Call again,” replied the Viscount grimly.

  But the Viscount’s second call, made shortly before dinner, proved as fruitless as the first. “It’s my belief he’s keeping out of my way,” he said. “Well, I’ll catch him in the morning before he has a chance to go out. And if that damned porter tells me he’s out then, I’ll force my way in and see for myself.”

  “Then I think I had better accompany you,” decided Captain Heron. “If you try to break into another man’s house there’s likely to be trouble.”

  “Just what I said myself,” nodded Sir Roland, still in attendance. “Better all go. Call for you at your lodging, Pel.”

  “Devilishly good of you, Pom,” said the Viscount. “Say nine o’clock.”

  “Nine o’clock,” agreed Sir Roland. “Nothing for it but to go to bed betimes.”

  Captain Heron was the first to arrive at the Viscount’s lodgings in Pall Mall next morning. He found the Viscount fully dressed, and busy with the loading of one of his silver-mounted pistols.

  “There’s a sweet little pistol for you,” said the Viscount, stopping the hammer at half-cock. “Blew the pips out of a playing card with it once. Cheston laid me ten to one against. Why, you couldn’t miss with this pistol! At least,” he added naively, “I daresay you might, but I couldn’t.”

  Captain Heron grinned at this aspersion cast on his marksmanship, and sat down on the edge of the table, watching the Viscount pour in his powder. “Well, all I beg of you is, don’t blow Lethbridge’s head off, Pelham!”

  “Might have to wing him,” said the Viscount, picking up a piece of soft kid from the table and placing his ball in it. “I won’t kill him, though, damme, I’ll be hard put to it not to!” He lifted the gun, and with his thumb over the touch-hole gently rammed down the ball. “There you are. Where’s Pom? Might have known he’d over-sleep.” He slipped the pistol into his pocket, and stood up. “Y’know, Edward, this is the devil of a business,” he said seriously. “No knowing how Rule would take it if it came to his ears. Rely on you to help me.”

  “Of course I’m going to help you,” replied Captain Heron. “If Lethbridge has the brooch, we’ll get it.”

  Sir Roland appearing at this moment, they picked up their hats, and set off for Half-Moon Street. The porter who opened the door to them once more denied his master.

  “Not in, eh?” said the Viscount. “Well, I think I’ll step in and take a look.”

  “But he’s not in, my lord!” insisted the porter, holding the door. “He went out yesterday in his chaise, and is not back yet.”

  “Don’t believe him, Pel,” counselled Sir Roland in the rear.

  “But sir, indeed my lord is not in! There is another—well, a person, sir, asking for him besides yourself.”

  Captain Heron set his sound shoulder to the door, and thrust it back.

  “That’s mighty interesting,” he said. “We will step upstairs to be quite sure that his lordship has not come in unbeknown. In with you, Pel!”

  The porter found himself driven firmly backwards, and raised a shout for help. A burly individual in a frieze greatcoat and a dirty neck-cloth, who was sitting on a chair in the narrow hall, looked on grinning but offered no assistance. The butler came puffing up the stairs, but paused when he saw the company. He bowed to the Viscount, and said severely: “His lordship is from home, my lord.”

  “Perhaps you didn’t look under the bed,” said the Viscount.

  A hoarse laugh from the man in the frieze coat greeted this sally. “Ah, you’ve hit it, your honour. He’s a peevy cull, and so I allus said.”

  “Eh?” said Sir Roland, regarding him through his eye-glass. “Who’s this fellow Pel?”

  “How the devil should I know?” demanded the Viscount. “Now you stay where you are, what-ever-your-name is. I’m going up to have a little talk with his lordship.”

  The butler placed himself at the foot of the stairs. “Sir, his lordship is not in the house!” He saw the Viscount draw the pistol from his pocket, and gasped: “My lord!”

  “Stand out of my way, or you might get hurt,” said the Viscount.

  The butler retreated. “I assure your lordship—I—I don’t understand, my lord! My master is gone into the country!”

  The Viscount gave a snort, and ran up the stairs. He came back in a very few moments. “True enough. He’s not there.”

  “Loped off!” ejaculated the burly man. “Damn my blood if I ever deal with a flash cull again!” With which cryptic remark he drove his fist into his hat, and sat glowering.

  The Viscount looked at him with interest. “
What do you want with him, hey? Who are you?”

  “That’s my business,” retorted the burly man. “Twenty rum guineas, that’s what I wants, and that’s what I’ll get if I stays here till tomorrow.”

  Captain Heron spoke, addressing himself to the butler. “Our business with his lordship is urgent—can you inform us of his direction?”

  “His lordship,” said the butler stiffly, “left no word, sir. Indeed, I wish that I were aware of his destination, for this—this person, sir, insists upon staying until his return, though I have warned him I shall send for a constable.”

  “You don’t dare send for no harman,” said the burly man scornfully. “I knows what I know, ah, and I knows who’ll sleep in Rumbo if I splits.”

  Sir Roland, who had been listening intently to this speech, shook his head. “Y’know, I don’t follow what he says at all,” he remarked. “Rumbo? Never heard of the place.”

  “The likes of you calls it Newgate,” explained the burly man. “I calls it Rumbo. See?”

  The Viscount looked at him frowningly. “I’ve a notion I’ve met you before,” he said. “I don’t know your face, but damme, I do know your voice!”

  “Might have been masked,” suggested Sir Roland helpfully.

  “Lord, Pom, don’t be such a—Wait a bit, though! Masked?” The Viscount slapped his leg. “That’s given it to me! Blister it, you’re the rogue who tried to hold me up on Shooter’s Hill once!”

  The burly man, who had changed colour, slid towards the door, muttering: “No, I never did so! It’s a lie!”

  “Lord, I don’t bear you any malice,” said the Viscount cheerfully. “You got nothing from me.”

  “A highwayman, is he?” said Sir Roland with interest. Devilish queer company Lethbridge keeps! Devilish queer!”

  “H’m!” remarked Captain Heron, surveying the burly man with scant approval. “I can guess what your business is with his lordship, my man.”

  “Can you?” said Sir Roland. “Well, what is it?”

  “Use your wits,” said Captain Heron unkindly. “I should like very much to give him up to the Watch, but I suppose we can’t.” He turned to the butler. “I want you to cast your mind back. The night before last a brooch was lost in this house. Do you recall finding it?”

  The butler seemed pleased to be able to answer at least one question. “No, sir, I don’t. There wasn’t a brooch found in this house. His lordship asked me particularly whether it had been picked up, just after that gentleman called yesterday.” He nodded towards Sir Roland.

  “What’s that?” ejaculated the Viscount. “Did you say after he called?”

  “I did, my lord. His lordship sent for me not more than a minute or so after the gentleman had left the house.”

  Captain Heron grasped the Viscount’s arm restrainingly. “Thank you,” he said. “Come, Pelham, there’s no more to be done here.”

  He drew the unwilling Viscount towards the door, which the porter opened with alacrity.

  The three conspirators descended the steps, and set off slowly towards Piccadilly.

  “Dropped it in the street,” said Sir Roland. “Said so all along.”

  “It begins to look like it,” agreed Captain Heron. “Yet Horry is certain the brooch was lost in that house. I imagine the butler was speaking the truth. Could anyone else have found the brooch?”

  The Viscount stopped short. “Drelincourt!” he said. “By the lord Harry, that little viper, that toad, that—”

  “Are you talking about that Macaroni cousin of Rule’s?” asked Captain Heron. “What had he to do with it?”

  Sir Roland, who had been staring at the Viscount, suddenly shook him by the hand. “You’ve got it, Pel. You’ve got it,” he said. “Lay you odds he took the brooch.”

  “Of course he took it! Didn’t we leave him with Lethbridge? By God, I’ll wring his damned scraggy neck!” said the Viscount wrathfully, and plunged off at a great rate towards Piccadilly.

  The other two hurried after him.

  “Was Drelincourt there that night?” asked Captain Heron of | Sir Roland.

  “Came in because it was raining,” explained Sir Roland. “Pel wanted to pull his nose. Daresay he will now.”

  Captain Heron caught up with the Viscount. “Pelham, go easy!” he said. “If he hasn’t got it and you accuse him, you’ll only work a deal of harm. Why should he have taken the brooch?”

  “To make mischief! Don’t I know him!” replied the Viscount. “ If he’s gone off with it to Rule already, we’re finished.”

  “That’s so,” nodded Sir Roland. “Yes, that’s so, Pel. No getting away from it. Better finish Drelincourt too. Nothing else to do.”

  “Pelham, you young madman, give me that pistol of yours!” commanded Captain Heron.

  The Viscount shook him off, and strode on. Sir Roland plucked at the Captain’s sleeve. “Better let Pel deal with the fellow,” he said confidentially. “Devilish fine shot, you know.”

  “Good God, you’re as mad as he is,” groaned Captain Heron. “We mustn’t let this come to a fight, man!”

  Sir Roland pursed his lips. “I don’t see why not,” he said judicially. “Trifle irregular, but there’s two of us to see fair play. Do you know Drelincourt?”

  “No, but—”

  “Ah, that accounts for it!” nodded Sir Roland. “If you knew him, you’d agree. Fellow ought to be killed. Thought so for a long time.”

  Captain Heron gave it up in despair.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Mr Crosby Drelincourt had been too much shaken by his experiences to think of dinner when he left Meering. All he desired was to reach his own lodgings. He drove from Meering to Twyford, where he changed horses, and went to the grievous expense of hiring an armed guard to protect him from highwaymen. The journey home seemed to him interminable, but the chaise set him down in Jermyn Street not long after ten o’clock, by which time he had recovered a little from his adventures, and had begun to feel the pangs of hunger. Unfortunately, since he had not been expected to return that night, no supper had been provided, and he was forced to go out to an ordinary, so that he might just as well, he reflected bitterly, have dined on the road after all.

  He slept late next morning, and was sitting down to breakfast in his dressing-gown when he heard a thundering on the front door, followed in a few moments by the sound of voices. He dropped his knife, listening. One voice was raised insistently, and Mr Drelincourt knew that voice. He turned quickly to his valet, who had just set the coffee-pot down before him: “I’m not at home!” he said. “Quick, don’t let them come up!”

  The valet said obtusely: “Beg pardon, sir?”

  Mr Drelincourt thrust him towards the door. “Tell them I’m away, you fool! Stop them coming up! I’m not well; I can’t see any one!”

  “Very good, sir” said the valet, hiding a smile.

  Mr Drelincourt sank back into his chair, nervously wiping his face with his napkin. He heard the valet go downstairs to parley with the visitors. Then, to his horror, he heard someone come up, three steps at a time.

  The door was rudely burst open. Viscount Winwood stood on the threshold. “Away, are you?” he said. “Now why are you so anxious not to see me, eh?”

  Mr Drelincourt rose, gripping the edge of the table. “Really, my lord, if—if a man may not be private when he chooses!” He perceived the face of Sir Roland Pommeroy peering over the Viscount’s shoulder, and licked his lips. “Pray—pray what’s the meaning of this intrusion, sir?” he demanded weakly.

  The Viscount advanced into the room, and sat down without ceremony on the corner of the table, one hand in his capacious coat-pocket. Behind him Sir Roland propped his shoulders against the wall, and began dispassionately to pick his teeth. Captain Heron ranged alongside the Viscount, ready to intervene at need.

  Mr Drelincourt looked from one to the other with the deepest misgiving. “I can’t conceive what—what should bring you here, gentlemen!” he said.

  The V
iscount’s angelic blue eyes were fixed on his face.

  “What took you out of town yesterday, Drelincourt?” he inquired.

  “I—I—”

  “I have it from your man below that you went away in a chaise and four, and came home late—too late to be disturbed now. Where did you go?”

  “I fail—I fail entirely to see how my movements should concern you, my lord!”

  Sir Roland withdrew the toothpick from his mouth. “Don’t want to tell us,” he remarked. “Black, very black!”

  “Well, he’s going to tell us,” said the Viscount, and got up.

  Mr Drelincourt took a backward step. “My lord! I—I protest! I don’t understand you! I went into the country on private business—purely private business, I assure you!”

  “Private, was it?” said the Viscount, advancing towards him. “It wasn’t on business connected with jewellery, I take it?”

  Mr Drelincourt turned ashen-pale. “No, no!” he gasped.

  The Viscount whipped the pistol from his pocket, and levelled it. “You lie, you little viper!” he said through his teeth.”Stand still!”

  “Mr Drelincourt stood rooted to the floor his fascinated gaze on the pistol. Sir Roland was moved to protest. “Not out of hand, Pel, not out of hand! Must do the thing decently!”

  The Viscount paid no heed. “You picked up a ring-brooch in Lethbridge’s house the other night, didn’t you?”

  “I don’t know what you mean!” chattered Mr Drelincourt. “A brooch? I know nothing about it, nothing!”

  The Viscount pressed the muzzle of his pistol into the pit of Mr Drelincourt’s stomach. There’s a mighty light trigger on this pistol of mine,” he said. “It only needs a touch to send it off. Don’t move. I know you took that brooch. What did you do with it?”

  Mr Drelincourt was silent, breathing rather fast. Sir Roland replaced his toothpick carefully in its gold case, and pocketed it. He strolled forward, and tucked his fingers into the back of Mr Drelincourt’s neck-cloth, and twisted it scientifically. “Take the pistol away, Pel. Going to choke it out of him.”

 

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