Looking over at my alarm clock though, I panic when I see I’ve overslept. I have less than 30 minutes to take a shower, get ready, and make it to work on time. Anna had an early shoot this morning, so she wasn’t here to make sure I was up. After I rush to get ready, I grab a granola bar on my way out the door, hightailing it to work. I am hoping I’ll at least beat Sebastian there so I won’t get in trouble.
Of course, I’m not that lucky, and when I get to work, Sebastian’s called an early staff meeting, which means not only will HE know I’m late, everyone else will too. Wonderful. Grabbing my iPad out of my purse, I straighten my spine and head towards the conference room, hoping he won’t make this too painful.
***
I walk into the conference room, and all conversation stops. Sebastian gives me a dirty look, saying nothing, and I realize that maybe he’s waiting for me to apologize. “Sorry I’m late Sebastian, I overslept,” I say, in my most repentant sounding voice.
“Hmm,” he responds, “Maybe you shouldn’t stay out late when you have to work the next morning.”
Seriously? Is he my dad now? I wasn’t out that late, in fact, it was my daydreaming after I woke up that caused me to be late. Telling Sebastian that though isn’t going to help my case. I know from talking to Anna that the best thing to do is say you’re sorry, then shut up and let him berate you for an unspecified amount of time. Great! So, basically just pretend he’s my mother and I should be fine. Lovely.
Once he’s done complaining about my lack of work ethic, he finishes up the meeting. He tells us all to get back to work, and I head back to my desk. When I sit down to check my emails, I notice I have a text. Thinking it might be David, I hurry to check it, but it’s from Aria instead. Ignoring the guilty feeling I have because I have yet to call and tell her more about David, I read the message.
Hey little sis. Just thought I’d warn you, Matt’s been asking for your address down there in Nashville.
Oh shit. The last thing I need is him showing up here and causing problems. Picking up my phone, I call her. “What do you mean, Matt’s been asking for my address? You didn’t give it to him did you?” I can hear the fear in my voice. I left while he was out of town for a reason. I didn’t want him following me, and I definitely don’t want him knowing where I live.
Aria sighs, “No, I didn’t give it to him.”
I exhale a sigh of relief, and then catch on to how she said it. “What do you mean, you didn’t? Does that mean someone did? You’re the only person who has my address A.”
Her voice hardens, “No, Lyric, I’m not. You gave it to the lady across the hall from your old apartment remember? In case anything got delivered there by mistake, remember?”
Shit. She’s right. “Mabel wouldn’t give up my address. She knows what mom is like. Lord knows she heard us argue plenty while I lived there.”
“In a normal situation, she probably wouldn’t. But, even though mom admit it, I know she gave the woman some sob story about how she couldn’t get in touch with you and was so worried. You know how she plays things up to get what she wants.”
She’s right. That’s probably exactly what Mom did. Especially if it was for Saint Matthew. Maybe in my next life, I’ll have parents who care more about me than their social standing. Now, I really just have one question I need answered, “How long do you think I have before he’s here?” Aria wouldn’t have called unless she thought he’d be coming in the immediate future.
“Don’t know. A few days maybe? Depends on when he thinks he can make the most impact I’m betting. And, Friday would’ve been your anniversary, right? You do the math.”
Damn it! That’s exactly what he’d do. Show up on our anniversary with his idea of a romantic gesture and expect me to fall at his feet and beg him to take me back. I don’t know if David and I are doing anything this weekend, but having Matt interrupt us is not something I want to happen. If he shows up, I’ll have to explain everything to David, and I’m just not sure I’m ready for that.
I sigh, “Matt’s fucking up my life all the way from Manhattan!”
“Well, that is a special talent of his.” Aria agrees.
I pinch the bridge of my nose with my fingers. Just having this conversation is giving me a migraine. “A, I really don’t want Matt and David to meet. We haven’t really made plans yet for the weekend, but I don’t want to chance Matt showing up and ruining everything.”
Aria gets quiet, then asks, “Why would Matt coming ruin everything? It might be a good thing to get everything out in the open. If David can’t handle your baggage, isn’t it better to know now before you get too invested?
“I think I’m already too invested,” I practically whisper.
Aria sighs, “Yeah, that’s about what I figured. If you feel that way about him already, you need to be honest with him L. Better he hears it from you than hear Matt’s twisted, ‘I’m the good guy’ version.”
She’s right, I know she is, but that doesn’t make it any easier. “I know I should tell him, but how do I work that in conversation? ‘Hey honey, how was your day? By the way, I got pregnant almost two years ago, but I was stupid and I lost it’ - that’s the conversation every guy wants to have with a girl he just started dating.”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that!” Her voice is raised, and I can tell she’s angry. “Yes, you and Matt made a mistake, and it cost you. But, it wasn’t like you set out to lose your baby. You didn’t set out to fall down a set of stairs and break your ankle either. Do you feel guilty about that too?”
I scoff, “It’s not even close to the same thing.”
“Maybe not,” she agrees, “but it wasn’t your fault. Please stop blaming yourself for this. If David’s half the man you think he is, he’ll understand.”
I hope she’s right. This conversation is not what I needed on an already shitty morning. And, since I know I need to get off the phone before Sebastian sees me and loses it, again, I tell my sister goodbye and hang up. I really hope my day gets better than it is right now. I can’t handle any more bad news or difficult conversations.
***
After the conversation with Aria this morning, I need to make some decisions. Matt will be coming, and he will screw up everything if given half the chance. The only thing I can think to do is lay low for a few days. That means no seeing David, because if Matt shows up and David is around, Matt will lay everything out for him before I get the chance. Luckily, I’ll be busy this weekend with Ben and the concert, and surely Matt won’t wait very long before showing up.
My concentration is shit today, even though I know Sebastian will be all over me if he sees me spacing out. I can’t help it. I even try to call Matt to try to find out what he’s up to, but of course, that would be too easy and the jerk doesn’t answer my calls or my texts. It’s the not knowing that drives me crazy, and I know I’ll have to have a talk with my mom too. That’s not something I need to do at work though.
This never-ending day finally makes it to lunchtime, and Anna’s back from her morning shoot. We head around the block to Ruby’s, and I’m hoping that David won’t be here today. If I’m around him, the decision to stay away from him will crumble. I’m just that drawn to him. I don’t even want to tell Anna about Matt coming, because she’ll pressure me to just tell David everything, and I can’t do that yet. I don’t want him to pity me. Everyone else who knows what happened has looked at me with pity in their eyes, and I don’t think I could bear that from him.
When we walk into Ruby’s, the place is packed. There are so many people, there’s a line waiting for tables. Just when I think we’ll have to find somewhere else to eat, Anna says, “Isn’t that David?” and I look to where she’s pointing. Sure enough, it’s him. The universe is definitely against me. I don’t know what I did in a past life, but my karma is all screwed up.
Even from across the room, he must hear her say his name because he looks up and our eyes meet. One corner of his mouth lifts, and he motions for us
to come over. I hesitate. Even though he’s sitting with Jeremy and his sister, he’s also with SB’s friend Olivia, Tyler, and another guy that I don’t know.
Anna wastes no time heading over to their table, even though it’s one that only seats six and is full. When we arrive, David stands to kiss my cheek, and pulls me onto his lap. That leaves Anna standing beside the table, not that she really cares. Tyler decides to take pity on her, and pulls Olivia onto his lap, resulting in her yelping. Everyone at the table laughs, so this must be a common occurrence. Anna shrugs, then sits in Olivia’s empty seat.
Since I’ve resolved to stay away from David until after the Matt situation is over, I decide to enjoy this last time with him. I cuddle deeper into his chest, and he wraps his arms tighter around me. This, right here, is the only place I ever want to be. In his arms.
After the waitress takes Anna’s and my orders, everyone starts talking again. I’m trying to figure out who the guy next to Tyler is when David notices me looking at him, and tells me that’s Olivia’s brother Chris. I wasn’t expecting that at all. Olivia is about SB’s height, and has shoulder length dark brown hair. Chris is tall, with dirty blonde hair. He doesn’t offer any further explanation about Chris however, so I let it go.
Since it’s now Thursday, talk around the table inevitably turns to the weekend and what everyone is planning. I don’t want to think about the weekend or what David may plan on doing. For all I know, he’s not planning to even see me. He could have to work, or maybe even have another date. He’s an attractive guy, it’s not like him having a date would be a shock.
I’m so distracted thinking, that I don’t notice David is studying me until he grips my chin in his hand. Turning my face towards his, he asks softly, “What’s wrong? Not planning to spend time with me this weekend, darlin'?”
I shudder. He has to know that I want to be with him pretty much whenever I’m awake. And probably sometimes when I’m sleeping too. Giving him an incredulous look, I nod and murmur, “Of course I am.” I really have no intention of seeing him this weekend, unless Matt has come and gone by then, but he doesn’t know about that. I feel bad that I’m completely sucking on the girlfriend part, even though I don’t even know if that’s what I am to him. Maybe he doesn’t think of me as a girlfriend. He probably just thinks of me as a pain in the rear.
David smiles, and starts talking about things we could do, but I’ve tuned him and everyone else at the table out. My phone has buzzed numerous times while we’ve been sitting here, and I just pulled it out to look at it. There are four texts from my sister.
Lyr, Phillip says Matt just asked to have off starting Monday.
I don’t know if he’s planning to leave this weekend, or if he’s going to wait until Monday. I don’t know how he’s planning to fly or drive there either.
This is Matt. I’m sure he’ll be flying first class. He wouldn’t drive all the way here, when he could be here faster by flying.
Lyric? Are you going to respond at all?
Then, a few minutes ago:
Please let me know you’re at least getting my messages. I don’t want you to be blindsided.
I shoot off a quick “got them” text, and put my phone back in my purse. Those texts are exactly what I needed to remind me that I need to keep David away until I’ve dealt with Matt. I’ve barely eaten, but I push my plate away. I catch Anna’s eye, letting her know I’m ready to go. Through all of this, David’s been watching me thoughtfully, and after the waitress comes and we get up to leave, he walks out with us.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asks, looking at me intently.
Jumping, I reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Even though inside I’m cringing. Shit. He already reads me too well.
He raises an eyebrow, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.” I look away from him because this is not the time or place for this, and he sighs. He doesn’t say anything at first, just stares into my eyes. Finally, he nods, “Okay Lyric. I know there’s something you’re not telling me, but I’ll let it go. For now. I’ll call you later.” And with that, he presses a kiss to my lips and lets me go. I know he’s not going to drop it easily. I know this won’t be the last time we talk about this.
Pulling up outside the apartment, I cut the car off and get out. I’m not sure when Anna will be home, but since it’s my night to make dinner, I’ve got three bags of groceries to bring in and it’s starting to snow lightly. I reach into the backseat and grab them. Closing the door, I notice Matt is standing behind me. It startles me so much that I drop my bags before whispering his name.
“Hello Lyric.” His voice and eyes tell me how angry he is, and I shudder inwardly.
When I finally gather up the courage to respond, I reply, “Matt.” There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t even know where to start. I bend down and grab the bags I dropped, hoping nothing is broken, and try to ignore him as I walk towards the stairs.
“Aren’t you going to ask me how I knew where you were? It’s not like you left me a forwarding address you know.” He sounds agitated, and if he’s already pissed, this conversation is going to go downhill fast.
“I already know how you found me Matt. You went to my mother. What would you like me to say? ‘Thank you for respecting my obvious wishes and leaving me alone’ isn’t going to happen because you’re here.” I hate when he talks to me like I’m a child. I know why he wanted me to ask. He wanted to be able to tell me how my mom sold me out. Like this is shocking information.
“So, you’ve been expecting me then? Good. Maybe now we can have an adult conversation.”
God, he’s such a pretentious twat! I want nothing more than to wipe the smug smirk off his face, but I just want him to say his piece and be gone before Anna gets home. If he’s still here, it will be World War III, and I’m not up to dealing with that. This week’s been hard enough, with trying to keep David away to avoid him meeting Matt, and dealing with Anna’s disappointment in me.
“For Christ’s sake, Matt, we could have had an ‘adult’ conversation over the phone. Then you wouldn’t have needed to come to Nashville. Wouldn’t that have been easier for you? Kimberly can’t be happy you’re here.” I know I sound bitchy, but with Matt, I have every right to. By the time I’m finished speaking, I’ve made it to the top of the third set of stairs, and Matt is breathing heavy. It’s probably all kinds of wrong that him wheezing after walking up three flights of stairs makes me snicker inside, but the visual will keep me going for a while!
“Yes, but at least by coming here, you won’t have to drive back to New York by yourself,” he says while trying to slow his breath down.
That makes me stop in my tracks. The longer he talks, the further the apartment door seems to get. “What do you mean, I won’t have to drive back to New York alone? I’m not going back Matt.” Surely, he isn’t that dense is he?
Matt sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers. Oh, this is going to be good. “Lyric, you can’t honestly expect to carry on a relationship when I’m in Manhattan and you’re here. You need to come home. Back to New York where I can take care of you.” Take care of me? That’s a good one. His “care” is what started this mess in the first place.
“See, there’s one problem with that Matthew. There is no us. There hasn’t been an us for over 6 months. You have a new girlfriend. Or did you forget about Kimberly already? I’m NOT coming back to Manhattan. There’s nothing for me there. Here, I’ve got a great job, fabulous friends, and I’m living the life I want to live. Not the one you and my mother think I should have.” I’m proud of myself for saying all of that without breaking down. Going against my mother and Matt isn’t something I’m used to doing, which was part of the reason for my move. It’s a lot easier to say no when it’s in a text or during a phone call. Which is exactly why Matt has shown up here.
Without waiting for a response from Matt, I walk to the apartment door and unlock it. I’m hopin
g that he’ll take the hint and go home, but Matt’s not going to give up that easily.
“Will you stop throwing Kimberly in my face, Lyric? She’s just a distraction. If you’d come home and act the way you should, I wouldn’t need to have her.” Holy shit! Please tell me he doesn’t actually believe that bullshit!
I whirl around, my mouth dropping open, “Seriously? If I would ‘act right’ you wouldn’t need her? What a crock! You cheated on me with her Matt! For months! So don’t tell me you’d give her up if I came back. It’s not going to happen. You can leave now.” Please, please let him leave. I don’t want to have this conversation anymore!
Turning back around, I head down the hallway to the kitchen so that I can put the groceries away, by the sound of his footsteps, Matt’s right behind me. I studiously ignore him as I put away everything I bought, and then walk past him to go back towards the door. I don’t know why I’m ignoring him, it’s just going to make him that much more determined to talk to me.
When I reach the front door, Matt’s behind me again, and he places his mouth close to my ear, making me shudder, “You know you need to come home. We need to make things right, Lyric. We’re supposed to be together.” The ironic thing is, I used to believe that whole-heartedly. But, if he’s taught me anything, it’s that I can’t trust him. When things get tough, he’ll look out for himself and no one else. That’s not the relationship I want to have.
I push him back, and reach for the door, saying, “No, Matt. We’re not supposed to be together, and there’s nothing to make ‘right’ between us.” With that, I open the door so that maybe he’ll take the hint, and find David standing there. Oh, fuck.
Save Me From Myself (Nashville Nights) Page 9