by E. M. Leya
"Yeah, I do. This is exactly what I need. Thank you." Danny kissed him. "I've never traveled anywhere or even been on a plane."
"I know. Again, I get to be with you for your firsts." Marshall laughed.
Danny set the envelope down on the table. "Well, since you had a gift for me, I have one for you. It is kinda the same thing. A way to show I'm leaving the past behind and moving forward. If you don't mind, maybe we could start with taking a shower… Together."
Marshall's eyes widened.
Despite asking, Danny had refused to shower with Marshall. He'd think about how Larry used to watch him shower and it freaked him out, but it wasn't the same. If Marshall was in the shower with him, if he was touching him, holding him, reminding him that it wasn't Larry there with him, he figured he might be able to get through it. He needed to get through it.
"Sure, if that's what you want." Marshall took his hand.
"It is." Danny stood.
"Then I'm all yours." Marshall got up and followed Danny to the bedroom.
Undressing in front of each other was no longer awkward for Danny. He was used to seeing Marshall naked, and many times they'd gone to bed naked, holding each other. But there was a nervous energy this time as he slowly started to strip off his clothes. He was thankful that Marshall didn't pay him a lot of attention. It was being watched that he hated.
Marshall stripped off his clothes, tossing them in the laundry bin, then walked in to start the water in the shower as if they did this all of the time. That made it easier. It was like this with most things. Marshall seemed to know to keep things casual and not make a big deal out of things.
Once he was naked, he met Marshall across the room. "Kiss me."
Marshall did just that, sliding his hand behind Danny's neck and drawing him close as he lowered his mouth to his. The kiss was soft at first, a tender kiss, almost testing, but as Marshall's hands slid around Danny's waist the kiss deepened. He teased Danny's lips with his own, then with his tongue, glided it over them before he slipped inside.
The closeness of their naked bodies had them both hard, and it was enough of a distraction that Danny hardly noticed as Marshall maneuvered them into the shower and under the hot stream of water.
"I love being close to you like this," Marshall whispered against his ear.
Danny sighed in pleasure as he worked his hands over Marshall's back, then down farther to his ass to cup the cheeks and pull him even closer.
Their cocks brushed and they both groaned as they pressed closer, taking full advantage of the friction of their bodies rubbing against each other.
He wouldn't panic. He wouldn't remember the past. This was about new memories with Marshall. He would replace the fear with lust and desire. Marshall would never hurt him. Danny pulled back as Marshall reached around him.
"I'm just getting the soap," Marshall assured him. "I want to wash you."
That was good because Danny didn't think he could wash his own body with Marshall watching him. Having him do it would be different and that was what he needed to get through this.
The slide of Marshall's hands changed as the soap covered his skin. He moved with the touch, enjoying the feel of Marshall's fingers on him. Danny laughed as Marshall hit a ticklish spot, then grew more serious as his hands moved between his legs, over his balls, and hardened cock. "That feels good."
"I agree." Marshall stroked him. "Maybe you'll let me taste it once we finish our shower?"
Danny licked the water from his lips. "Maybe." He had other ideas, but they would wait until they were in bed. "Let me wash you."
Marshall handed Danny the soap and he worked his hands over Marshall, making sure to get every free inch of skin he could. He hesitated only a moment before grasping Marshall's cock and cleaning it, taking longer than needed and giving it extra attention. He loved the way Marshall moved, causing his cock to slide through his fist. The way his head fell back and a soft moan escaped when Danny cupped his balls.
"If we keep this up, I'm not going to last," Marshall groaned.
"Then we need to dry off because I want to do more in bed." Danny released him. "Rinse off."
Once the suds were gone, they both stepped out of the shower and dried each other off. Again, it was just what Danny needed. Marshall dried him instead of watching him. They were little things, but big steps for Danny to take. He felt braver as the night went on.
"Want the lights on or off?" Marshall asked as they walked into the bedroom.
"On, I need to see you." He meant that as more than just because he liked looking at Marshall. He needed to see him so he remembered who he was with. He also wanted to see Marshall so he could tell if he was in pain. At the first sign that he was hurting, Danny would stop.
"Then come here." Marshall pushed the blankets back and laid back on the bed. "Let me hold you."
Danny went to him, moving to his side, turning so they were face to face. He took a breath, then said with more confidence than he felt, "I want to make love to you tonight."
Marshall's body tensed, but it didn't seem to be in fear. "I would love that." Marshall kissed him gently. "Are you sure? Don't do this for me."
"I'm not. It's for me. I need to put the past behind me and this seems like my last big stumbling block. But you have to promise to tell me if it hurts. I won't do this if it causes you pain."
"It won't. We'll do it right. I'll teach you what it means to make love with someone you care about. I'll show you how good it can be when you love someone." Marshall ran his hands over Danny's chest. "Look how hard you have me with just the thought of having you inside me."
Danny glanced down and was shocked to find Marshall's cock hard and ready.
"You'll find pleasure in this?"
Marshall nodded. "Yes, even more so because you'll be the first man I've ever been with who I love. It will be making love in the most literal terms."
He tried to focus on the sweet words, but more than anything, he just wanted to do this. He wanted to get past his fear and then they could move forward from there. "What do I do?"
Marshall kissed him again before he leaned over and pulled a bottle of lube and a condom from the nightstand drawer. "Um, I'm not sure if these condoms will fit you. You might be too big."
"Do we need to use them?" Danny asked.
"No. You were tested at the hospital, and I was tested not long before we met. We're safe if you want to skip them."
"Are you okay if we do?"
Marshall nodded. "I have no plans on ever being with another person other than you. I'm just fine if we never use these." He tossed the foil packet across the room. "But we will need this. You need to make me ready for you. You're thick, and we need to stretch me a bit before you can take me."
Danny bit his lip. "It won't hurt you?"
"God, no. It will only make my desire for you stronger. Do you want to do it or should I?" Marshall popped the cap on the lube open.
"Show me how then I will." He moved back a bit to give Marshall room. He had a basic idea of what to do, but he wanted to make sure it was done right.
"It's easy." Marshall spread lube over his fingers, then rolled to his back, spread his legs, and started to rub the lube over his hole. "You just use your fingers on me to loosen me up. You start with one or two fingers, then move to three. It will feel tight, but honestly, you aren't hurting me." He slid one finger inside himself and moved it in and out. "If it starts to feel dry, get more lube, but once you get going, it will be okay."
Danny watched as Marshall worked himself with one finger for several minutes, then he pushed another inside. He was aroused by the sight but also confused about how something like that could feel good. Maybe it was the lube? Larry never used lube on him. He shook his head to force those thoughts away. This was about Marshall, not Larry.
He reached for the lube and coated his fingers. "Can I try?"
"Please." Marshall's voice was filled with need as he pulled his fingers out and took his cock in his
slick hand.
Carefully, Danny pushed one finger into Marshall, shocked by the silky warmth he found. He played with one finger for a moment, then used two. Marshall's breathing came harder as he moved his body against Danny's fingers.
"Put another in. Fill me." Marshall groaned.
Danny did but hesitated at the tightness.
"It's okay. It's a good stretch. I want this. You're not hurting me. Look how aroused I am. It's all I can do not to come from your fingers. I'm going to lose my mind when you get inside me." He pushed down against Danny's fingers to take all three in him. "Move them. Fuck me with your fingers." He slowly ran a fist over his cock as he stared up at Danny.
Danny was getting into this. He loved the way Marshall's body spread for him. The knowledge that he was doing something to make Marshall feel good did something deep inside him. He wanted to bring him pleasure, find ways to make him come. "More?" Danny asked, curious if he dared try a fourth finger.
"Are you ready to be inside me?" Marshall asked.
Was he? He glanced down at his own body. Yeah, he was physically ready, but mentally, he wasn't so sure. "I think so." He pulled his fingers from Marshall before looking up and meeting his gaze. "I'm nervous."
"Don't be. We're just going to take it slow." Marshall reached for Danny. "Come here and kiss me. Just press your body against mine and let's make out for a while."
Making out he could do. It was safe. Something they had done before. He moved forward, laying between Marshall's spread legs. His cock brushed against Marshall's and he sucked in a breath. "I don't think I've ever been so turned on."
"Good. I'm glad you are. I don't want you scared of this. I want you to love it as much as I do. You're in control tonight. I'm staying right here on my back. We're going to kiss and make out for a while, then when you feel you're ready, I want you to get on your knees, lube your cock, then slowly press into me. It will take me a minute to adjust to your size, but as soon as I do, you can move. You can take me as hard as you want. It won't hurt me. Just do what feels good for you." Marshall drew Danny down to him and nipped at his lip.
Danny went with it, kissing Marshall back as he ran his hands down Marshall's body. They did this all of the time. He was comfortable with it. He loved the feel of his hardness against Marshall's, but tonight his cock kept slipping lower, the head sliding against Marshall's wet hole. It was the way Marshall was laying, open wide as if welcoming him to take him.
He lost himself in the kisses and caresses, trying to distract himself from what was about to happen, but the truth was, he was curious and so aroused it was painful. He needed this, wanted it. Tearing himself away from Marshall, he got to his knees, trying to fight the wave of nervousness that swept through him.
He thought Marshall might instruct him, but he stayed silent as if he knew that this was something Danny needed to do on his own. Though his hand was shaking, he reached down and wrapped it around his own cock. He was so thick and Marshall's hole so small. Even stretched it was going to be a struggle to get inside him.
He had to trust that Marshall would stop him if it was bad. He trusted Marshall and that meant he wouldn't lie and suffer just to please him. He released his cock, reached for the lube, and dripped it along his thickness, then worried it wasn't enough and dripped some more. He ran his palm over it, making sure the head was covered and the shaft wet. "Ready?" He glanced up at Marshall.
"Yes." Marshall smiled as he lifted his legs, hooking them over his arms. "Just push slowly into me and hold there a moment. I'll stop you if it hurts, but it won't."
"I love you." He pressed the head of his cock to the hole and pressed forward. It took a moment, but Marshall started to part and Danny slowly sank inside him, fascinated at the sight of Marshall's ass stretching around him.
"That's it, baby. I love you too. Go deeper, give me all of you." Marshall tightened his muscles around Danny, then eased them.
"It's so warm, feels so good." He stayed still, already so deep he feared how he was making Marshall feel.
"Yes." Marshall tightened around him again. "You feel perfect." Marshall smiled up at him. "Let's do this. Move inside me. Find a rhythm you like. Don't worry about me. All I feel is pleasure."
From the way Marshall was already stroking his cock, he had to believe him. Unsure, but unable to ignore his growing need, he started to move. He slid out slowly, his pulse racing as he focused on the feeling of his cock being encased in the warmth. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. The pleasure was different than a fist or even a mouth. Better. He pushed back in, then almost pulled out before going in again. It took only a few seconds before he found his pace, always watching Marshall's expression for pain, but unable to deny the growing heat in his own balls that already threatened to explode.
It wasn't long before all his hesitation and fear was gone, replaced by a need burning inside him that he'd never had before. His body shook, his nerves burned, his cock ached, and just when he didn't think it could get any better, it did. He clenched his jaw, focused only on his pleasure and before he knew what was happening, his entire body convulsed as he experienced the most intense orgasm he'd ever had. He cried out, his cock pulsing as he lost himself inside Marshall's body.
He was vaguely aware of Marshall making a sound beneath him, but in the fog of pleasure all he could do was wait and ride out the waves of insanity that continued to consume him. When it eased, he dropped forward, his weight on Marshall's body, his spent cock still inside him.
Marshall caressed his back. "That was amazing." He kissed Danny's shoulder softly.
"It was. I had no idea it could feel so good." He tried to talk through his labored breathing. "You're okay?"
"I'm just fine. Probably feeling just like you are. I don't think I can move." He continued to run his hand over Danny's back. "I knew we'd be good together."
"I'd offer to do it again, but I don't think I'll be able to do anything for a few days." He laughed at his own joke, but he was seriously wondering how he was going to manage to just move to the other side of the bed.
"We don't have to rush anything. We've hopefully got a lifetime together to do it again and again and again."
Danny laughed, burying his head against Marshall's shoulder, but when his cock slipped free of Marshall's body, he decided it was time to try and move. He forced himself to roll to the side, easing his weight from Marshall. "I'm so tired."
"Me too, love. Let me turn off the light and I'll come back and hold you while we sleep." Marshall eased out of bed, turned off the light, and climbed right back in.
It was only five according to the clock on the dresser, but Danny didn't care. He needed to close his eyes, needed to bask in the experience he'd just had before he got up and faced the world again.
Marshall's arms pulled him close, allowing Danny to lay his head against his chest. "I love you." Marshall kissed his temple.
"Love you too." Danny barely got the words out. As he drifted off to sleep, his last thought was of how perfect his life had become and how in love he was with the man holding him. He never dreamed his life would be perfect, but this was damn near close.
EPILOGUE
"I can't do this." Danny paced up the hallway as he tried to think of a way to get out of the commitment he'd made. He was a fool to think he was ready for something like this. He wasn't. He belonged in the kitchen at home, hiding from the public, where he was safe and not forced to do things he wasn't comfortable with.
Not that he was being forced. This was a problem of his own making. He'd been the one to initiate this. The one to make all the calls and set things up. There was no one to blame but himself for the situation he was in.
"You're going to be fantastic. You've talked about this for months." Jessica grabbed his arm. "You've rehearsed this so many times you could do it in your sleep. If you get nervous, just find me in the back and keep your eyes on me. It's no different than when we practiced at the house."
Marshall cleared h
is throat. "Better yet, focus on me." He playfully elbowed Jessica out of the way. "I'm the one you should stare at."
Danny laughed. "I love you."
"I love you too." Marshall kissed him softly. "Think of the difference you could make by doing this. You're always talking about the kids that we save, well, this is your chance to save kids too. This is your path at protecting them."
Danny took a deep breath. Marshall was right, this was what he wanted to do. He might not be hunting pedophiles or going into homes and saving kids, but he could do this. He could make a difference. He listened to the sound of hundreds of little voices as they filled the gymnasium of the elementary school. He had been that age once, laughing with friends, thinking he had his whole life ahead of him. He'd thought he would always be safe, that his mother would protect him. How wrong he'd been. Maybe if someone had talked to him, warned him about strangers with puppies. If someone had just told him to always keep his mother in sight.
"I know you're scared, but you're going to hate yourself if you back out," Jessica said. "The first time is always the hardest. Get this over, then you'll be able to do it again with ease. Once you see that there is nothing to fear, you'll love doing this."
Nothing to fear. Wasn't that how he was trying to live his life now? Hadn't he lived in fear for long enough? They were right. He could do this. Would do it.
He brushed a stray strand of hair back from his forehead and took a deep breath. "You'll both be in the back?"
Marshall nodded. "We'll be there for the whole thing. If you get nervous just look at us. Like Jessica said, this is no different than practicing for us at home. You know your speech. You've almost memorized it. Go in, look at all those kids and know that you are going to save one of them by talking to them today."
That was exactly what he needed to do. He needed to focus on the experience this could have on the children. It was better for him to face his fears than for one of those children to face what he had when Larry took him. He gave Marshall and Jessica a single nod. "I can do this."