Lucy laughed. “No, pizza’s not high on the dietician’s list of healthy entrées.”
“Good night, then,” Helen said as Lucy started out of the room. “And thanks for asking.”
At the nursing station, Lucy glanced at Helen’s chart. She wasn’t on any dietary restrictions, not even low salt. But Lucy decided to check with Margaret Sherman just to be sure it was okay.
“The patient in Room 203 didn’t eat her dinner. She wants a slice of pizza. Can I bring her one from the cafeteria?”
Margaret frowned at her. “Did she ask you to go get her a slice of pizza?”
“No, not at all. I just know she wants one. And she didn’t eat her dinner,” Lucy repeated.
The older nurse studied the chart and let out a long noisy breath. “I guess that would be all right.” Then she looked up at Lucy. “You’re not a waitress anymore. You’re a nurse, Bates. Or about to be.”
Lucy grinned. “I remember. But it’s sure nice to hear you say that.”
Lucy bought a slice of pizza in the hospital cafeteria, covered it with an extra plate, and brought it back up the second floor. The door of Room 203 stood open, so she knocked on the door frame and walked in. The pizza was still hot, and the smell made Lucy’s mouth water.
Helen looked surprised to see her again. “Yes?”
Lucy set the pizza down in front of her. “It might not be the best you’ve ever tasted, but it’s hot.”
Helen sat up straight and wide-eyed. “Is this a mirage?” She looked up at Lucy with a small smile.
“It’s real. And if you don’t eat it, I will.”
Helen laughed. She picked up the slice and took a bite. “Mmm…that’s just want I wanted.” She swallowed a bite. “I thought nurses were too busy these days to be so nice.”
“I’m not a real nurse. Not yet anyway. Just a student doing hospital training.”
“Oh…I didn’t realize.”
Lucy could tell what she was thinking. “I know, I look too old to be a student. I got a late start.”
“Better late than never. I always wanted to be a teacher, but I quit college to get married, then had my girls. It never seemed like a good time to go back.”
“Once you have a family it never is, is it?”
“Once I got divorced, the idea seemed impossible. Now that my kids are out of the house, I wonder if I made the right choice.” She glanced at Lucy curiously. “Do you have children?”
“Two boys. One is in middle school, the other’s still in elementary. I didn’t think I could do it, but I couldn’t seem to live with myself if I didn’t try. A friend encouraged me, helped me apply and all that. My husband didn’t want me to do it, though. We nearly broke up over it, but I can be just as stubborn as he is when I have to be.”
“It’s good to be stubborn about some things,” Helen agreed. “That’s what I tried to teach my girls. Calling it motivation or commitment is, of course, a better-sounding personality trait to own up to,” she added with a small smile.
“Well, if I can do it, anybody can,” Lucy assured her. “I have this friend, Sara. She’s a reporter, really smart. She read me this quote once that really stuck in my mind. It’s from a writer named George Eliot. She said, ‘It is never too late to be what you might have been.’”
Lucy saw the sudden change in Helen’s expression and felt a sinking feeling of dismay.
“It’s too late for me,” Helen said in a flat voice. “My doctor won’t admit it but he isn’t very hopeful.”
Lucy felt terrible. She was such an idiot sometimes. Charlie was right, she did talk too much. Why couldn’t she ever quit when she was ahead?
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“No, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I am tired, though. Thanks again for the pizza.”
Lucy nodded and took away the empty plate. “Good night. Have a good rest.”
“Thank you, Lucy. Good night.”
Lucy grabbed her belongings and headed for home. She felt sad and empty, as if her clumsy remark had undone her good deed. And she felt terrible for Helen Carter. She might die. Modern medicine with all its high-tech equipment and miraculous treatments couldn’t save everyone. It was still up to God.
And would always be, Lucy reflected. Of course, she knew she would encounter some very sick people once she started nursing. She would see people dying and know there was nothing she could do, nothing anybody could do. But being in the midst of it was different than she had ever imagined. She didn’t think she could ever get used to it.
She sat in her dark, cold car, not turning the motor on. She closed her eyes and whispered in the darkness.
“Dear God, please help Helen Carter. If you can’t save her life, please make the rest of her days filled with the love of those she loves most and bring her…peace.”
CHAPTER SIX
Newburyport, Present-day
“WHAT DO YOU THINK?” EMILY ASKED, AS SOON AS THE maitre d’ had seated everyone. “Nice, right?”
Sara and Luke nodded but neither got a chance to answer.
Jane started fussing in her high chair, and both Emily and Dan turned to her. Ever since Jane had begun walking a few weeks ago, it was hard for her to sit still. Emily waved a stuffed dog with a music box inside it, Jane’s favorite toy of the moment. It looked as though they were going to hear a lot of “You Are My Sunshine” tonight. Sara didn’t mind. She thought her little stepsister was totally adorable. Sara had never thought much about having children of her own. That always seemed a long way off. But Jane coming into the family had given her some ideas in that direction lately.
While Emily waved the music box dog, Dan dug through a big tote bag. He pulled out a plastic container of crackers. “Look what Daddy has for you. Snack box, Janie.”
Sara and Luke shared a secret smile. The baby distractions were not only expected but welcome tonight. They gave her a few minutes to compose herself. Luke didn’t seem nervous, she noticed. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze.
“It’s a very pretty place, Emily,” Luke said. “I can see why you think it would be nice for a wedding.”
“Yes, lovely,” Sara agreed.
The restaurant had once been an old house and retained a warm, welcoming atmosphere while also being quite elegant, with crisp white linens, flickering candlelight, gilt-edged mirrors, and overflowing flower arrangements everywhere you turned. It was decorated for Christmas, with pine wreaths strung around archways and across the big hearth. Tiny white lights sparkled in the dark branches.
Emily waved Jane’s toy with one hand, while turning to face Sara and Luke. “In the warm weather they open those back doors. Perfect for a cocktail hour, right?”
“Perfect.” Sara glanced at Luke. He slid his chair closer and put his arm around her shoulder.
“But it’s just a little too late, Emily. Sorry.” Luke smiled, not looking sorry in the least.
Dan and Emily stared across the table, looking confused.
“You’ve already found a place you like?” Dan asked.
Sara shook her head. “No, but—”
“We don’t have to worry about all that anymore,” Luke offered cheerfully. “We finally figured it out.”
“We’re married,” Sara announced. She paused and let the news sink in. “We were married on Saturday, up in Maine.”
“Married?” Emily stared at Sara in total shock. “You can’t be married.”
“Yes, we can,” Luke corrected her. “We are.”
Emily dropped the stuffed dog and didn’t even notice. Sara could tell she was speechless, a highly unusual state for Emily.
Dan sat back and chuckled, shaking his head. “You guys eloped. I should have guessed.” He looked at Luke and laughed even louder. “I knew something was up.”
“Well, I didn’t. I had no idea.” Emily looked hurt and Sara felt a sudden pang.
“I’m sorry, Emily. I know you really wanted us to have a big wedding—”
“Not a big wedding. That’s not the point. I wanted to be there. I wanted to see you get married, Sara.” Sara could tell her mother was trying hard not to cry. Sara felt even worse.
“Oh, come on now, Emily. They’re just kids. They didn’t want all the fuss and bother, right?” Dan turned to Luke, his expression coaxing him to pick up the ball.
“That was it. That was exactly what happened. This whole wedding scene just started to make us crazy. We couldn’t handle it. We just wanted to get to the married part. Right, Sara?”
“It seemed so hard to decide what to do, and where to even have the wedding,” Sara confessed. “My folks down in Maryland expected us to have it down there, and everyone here wanted us to get married in Cape Light. I didn’t know what do.”
Emily’s expression softened. She had tried hard to avoid conflict with Sara’s adoptive parents and to avoid making Sara choose between them. “Have you told your folks in Maryland yet?”
“Yes, I did.” Sara met Emily’s glance, hoping this wouldn’t upset her again. “We spoke to them Sunday night.”
“If it’s any consolation, they were pretty blown away by it, too,” Luke added.
“My mother also had some nice restaurants picked out for the reception,” Sara explained. “Luke and I might go down there soon for a family party.”
Dan nodded, and Sara could tell he understood. “That sounds like an excellent idea.”
“Yes, my parents are looking forward to it.”
Her parents never said so outright, but she knew they felt Sara’s ties in Cape Light had taken her away from them. At first, they were patient, accepting Sara’s need to meet and get to know her birth mother. But they always expected she would “get it out of her system” and return to Maryland. Now that she had married Luke, her parents could see that would never happen. So for them, her elopement had been a double blow.
Still, they were the only parents she had ever known. They had raised her in a caring, loving home and Sara loved them dearly. Most of the time she thought of finding Emily and the Warwicks as an amazing blessing. How many people are part of two wonderful families? Other times, though, it felt like an emotional minefield she needed to navigate. She was starting to learn that, try as she might, she could rarely please everyone.
Emily finally smiled. “All moms think alike, I guess. But I understand. Really, I do.”
Emily had eloped with Sara’s father, Sara knew. She certainly did understand these things.
Dan smiled affectionately at his wife and covered her hand with his own. “You have to forgive Emily, Sara. She had her heart set on planning your wedding. She won’t admit it, but the bridal books and magazines have finally outnumbered all the baby-care literature around our house, and that’s saying something.”
“Dan!” Emily gave him an indignant look, then reluctantly smiled. “I suppose it’s true.”
She leaned over and hugged Sara tight. “Good luck, sweetheart. I know you’ll be very, very happy together.”
Sara hugged her back—Emily’s good wishes meant a lot to her—and both women were misty-eyed when Jane let out a happy shriek and clapped her hands.
Dan beamed. “She’s so bright. She understands everything.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “At least I have one more chance when she grows up.”
Sara laughed. “It’s not as if we don’t want to celebrate at all. We were thinking of a small party up here, too.”
“Really?” Emily’s expression brightened. “I think that’s a great idea. So many people will want to congratulate you. Of course, your folks in Maryland will be invited and any other close relatives or friends there you think should come.”
“The operative word here is small, Emily,” Dan reminded her. “Nothing in a baseball stadium or on the village green,” he added, recalling their own wedding nearly two years earlier.
“The village green was your idea, dear,” Emily reminded him.
“Uh…no, dear. I’m sure it was yours,” he corrected her. “Only you would decide to invite the entire town.”
Sara laughed. “I think you both wanted it. And it was perfect for you. But we really do want something much more intimate and simple.”
“Low-key,” Luke added in a firm tone.
“Whatever you want. It’s your party,” Emily said. “The last thing I want to be is a meddling mother-in-law.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “Though she might have a few suggestions from time to time.”
Sara would never call Emily meddling, but she did have a knack for getting people to do things her way. Which was probably why she was such a successful mayor.
“We have time to talk about a party. It will all come together.” Sara picked up her menu, hoping to change the topic of conversation. “What’s good here?”
“Everything.” Emily opened her menu and quickly put it down again. “Where are you going to live? Are you looking for a new place?”
“We’re not totally clear on that yet,” Sara admitted. “Luke’s cabin is too small for all of our stuff together. And my place is bursting at the seams with just my junk in it.”
“We’re shuffling between the two right now,” Luke explained.
“We’ll work it out,” Sara added. “Besides, we’re going to be at Lillian’s house for a while.”
“Oh, I don’t think you should be staying there now,” Emily said at once. “That’s not fair to either one of you.”
“It’s okay,” Sara said. “I promised I would do it. It will be fine. Luke can stay with me. We are married, after all.”
Luke shrugged. “Hey, why go to Hawaii when you can honeymoon right here in town in a spooky, drafty old mansion…with a cranky old lady waving her cane at you every five minutes?”
Dan grinned. “You’re a good sport, Luke. If you guys can stay married under those circumstances, you’re set for life.”
Jane was fussing and Emily pulled her up out of the high-chair to sit in her lap. Jane was dressed in a really cute outfit tonight, Sara noticed. A hooded white sweater trimmed with fur and a red plaid skirt. With her white tights and shiny little black boots, she looked as if she were headed for a skating party.
“I don’t know, Dan,” Emily said doubtfully. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Starting out their marriage staying with Mother? She can make anyone miserable.”
“It’s a big place,” Luke pointed out. “She might not even know I’m there.”
Dan gave him a look. “You don’t know her very well if you think that’s possible. Lillian’s like a bloodhound. She can smell an intruder from a mile off.”
Emily laughed but stopped bouncing Jane. “Dan, stop. That’s not nice to say.”
“Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration,” Dan admitted. “But only a slight one.”
“Don’t worry,” Sara said. “I’ll smooth it over with Lillian. I don’t think she’ll argue much once she knows we’re married. And it won’t be for very long—just until you find help for the nights, right?”
Emily nodded. “Yes, that’s the plan. It isn’t going to be easy taking care of her at home. I’m almost sorry now we let her have her way.”
“Your mother was very lucky. It could have been much worse,” Dan said. “How did she ever get up those attic stairs in the first place? That’s what I want to know.”
“Why is more like it. She was looking for a box of old photos. I think I told you, I found photographs scattered all over the stairs, and she was holding on to one when she fell.”
“Yes, I found the pictures and some letters on the stairway when I went over there to get the house ready.” Emily stroked Jane’s downy reddish gold hair. “There were several pictures of my father, some I’ve never seen before.”
“Maybe it was Lillian’s secret cache.” Luke leaned forward. “She might have had them hidden in a secret spot up there.”
“Thank you, Sherlock Holmes.” Sara gave him a mock-glare.
“Well, I was a detective, you know.”
“I’m curious about what’s in there myself,” Sara admitted. “There must be something interesting in that box if Lillian risked life and limb to find it.”
“Just be careful, Sara,” Dan warned. “You might end up discovering more than you expected.”
Sara laughed at him. “Do you really think Lillian has any dark secrets we don’t know about?”
Dan smiled at his stepdaughter. “Sara, I’m surprised at you. Don’t you know by now that everybody does?”
Newburyport, August 1955
IT WAS CHARLOTTE AND HER ROMANTIC NOTIONS. LILLIAN KNEW she would never have been sitting in Oliver’s little car this morning otherwise.
Either Charlotte or God’s plan, a little voice in her head countered. But was Oliver her fate or a test of her willpower? Lillian shook her head, trying to shake loose the ridiculous notion.
“Something the matter?” Oliver asked her.
“No, not at all. I’m fine.”
Oliver threw the car into gear, and they pulled away from the church with a roar.
“That hat is very smart,” Oliver said as they stopped at a light in the village. “But maybe you should take it off. It might blow away.”
“Oh. Yes, that’s probably true.” Lillian pulled out the large pin holding her hat in place. She lifted it off, taking care with the scrap of netting that draped over her eyes.
Oliver smiled at her. “That’s better. Now I can see your eyes. The eyes are the windows of the soul, you know.”
“Don’t expect to see into my soul so easily, Oliver. That’s a privilege not lightly given.”
“Which makes the prize even more appealing.”
Lillian didn’t answer. She turned and looked straight ahead as the light turned green and the car picked up speed again. She noticed people on the street turning to look at them. Everyone in town must recognize this car and its driver, she thought. They were about as inconspicuous in the shiny red car as they would be driving around in a fire engine.
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