“IT’S ALL FOR THE BEST, TUCKER. THE BOYS NEED HER AT HOME, and I need her here. Sure, I know she had her heart set on being a nurse, but she was never cut out for that type of work. Better she learned it now than later.” Charlie leaned over the counter and spoke to Tucker Tulley in a near whisper, his eyes fixed on Lucy who was on the other side of the diner, taking an order.
Tucker, one of the village’s finest, was also Charlie’s best friend since childhood. He stopped in the diner every morning on his way to the police station, or for a coffee break if he was walking the beat.
He poured sugar into his coffee and stirred it. “That might all be true, Charlie. But it’s a bitter pill to swallow, don’t you think?”
“Sure, she’s upset. It’s only been, what, three or four days? She’ll get over it, you’ll see. Lucy never broods very long over things.” Charlie flipped a burger onto one half of a roll and covered it with the other. “I bet she forgets all about this nursing school business by New Year’s.”
He set the plate on the shelf for outgoing orders but was careful to ring the bell lightly. It was late afternoon, the lunch rush was over, and the Clam Box was practically empty. There wouldn’t be much action until dinnertime. Charlie wasn’t sure if he was going to stay open that night with more snow predicted.
“So she’s quit for good after all that school work.” Tucker sipped his coffee. “That’s a shame.”
“That’s what she says. I heard her on the phone this morning, talking to her school advisor. The woman wanted Lucy to come back after the holidays and start over. But Lucy said, no, don’t bother, she wasn’t coming back.” Charlie wiped the counter with a damp cloth. “I’m not pleased about her wasting all that tuition money but the truth is, I was glad to hear her say she was giving up.”
Tucker frowned. “Poor thing. She must have had some scare.”
“She read something wrong off a chart, and the patient went into a coma. Well, not a coma exactly. It was more like a fainting spell, I think. I bet it happens all the time, you just never hear about it.”
“Doctors are only human. Nurses, too…even cops. I could tell you stories, believe me.”
“Tell them to Lucy. Maybe it will cheer her up.”
“Maybe she’ll brood about it a while and change her mind.” Tucker had always liked Lucy. He admired her for putting up with Charlie all these years and for having the guts to go for what she really wanted.
“Maybe,” Charlie replied slowly. “But not if I can help it.”
Lucy walked over and picked up the hamburger. “This had fries on the side, Charlie, lettuce and tomato on top.” She handed the dish through the shelf to him, and he took it back to the grill.
“Hello, Tucker, how are you today?”
“I’m good, Lucy. How’s it going?”
Lucy tilted her head to one side. “You must have heard from my husband that I dropped out of my training.”
Tucker licked his lips. “Yes, I have. Sounds rough. Maybe you need a break.”
“It’s not as simple as that, Tucker. I wish it were.”
“It’s not that easy to give up your dream, Lucy. Not after all the work you’ve put into it.”
“It is when you’re a flop at it,” she said bluntly. She glanced at him, her expression softer. “Thanks, Tucker. Nice try, but…” She shrugged and took the plate back from Charlie. “I’ll see you later.”
Tucker turned to Charlie. “I don’t think I helped her very much.”
Charlie scowled at him. “You didn’t have to encourage her, Tucker. Just treat her normal, like good old Lucy. Like she never even tried to be a nurse, okay?”
“Okay, okay. You don’t have to bite my head off. I was just trying to say something nice to her, that’s all.”
Charlie shook his head. “This is hard for me. Lucy is always the one bucking me up, you know? I’m not used to things being the opposite. It makes me nervous,” he confided.
“That’s marriage for you. You think you got it figured, and one day you get home and all the furniture’s rearranged. You don’t know what’s what anymore.”
Charlie looked out at Lucy, delivering the order, grabbing a pot of coffee and hurrying back to fill the customer’s cup. The familiar sight should have been comforting to him. He’d gotten what he wanted. Everything was back to normal.
But Charlie felt a tightness in his chest. It didn’t sit right. Lucy didn’t look right. Her smile for one thing, it looked stiff and forced. Or her face held this blank expression. She was going through the motions. The light was on but nobody was home.
A SHORT TIME LATER, THE DINER WAS EMPTY. LUCY SET OUT CLEAN place mats and silverware. Charlie stood by the big front window. “Hey, Lucy, come here. Look, the snow’s starting.”
Lucy walked over and looked out the window. She always got excited when she saw snow, like a little kid. She stared outside a moment but didn’t say anything. Charlie saw that flat look in her eyes and felt his heart twist a little.
“Looks like we might have a white Christmas this year.”
“Looks like it,” she agreed.
Christmas was only a few days away, this coming weekend. He wondered if Lucy was ready, had done all the shopping for the boys. He put a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe we should close up early. Nobody will come in tonight with this weather. You probably have things to do for Christmas, right?”
“I could start wrapping the presents, I guess. And maybe do some baking.”
“I might go up to the mall. I didn’t get your gift yet,” he confessed.
Lucy took a step forward, just far enough so that his hand no longer rested on her shoulder. “You don’t have to buy me anything, Charlie. It’s all right. We don’t need to spend the money right now.”
“Don’t be silly. Of course I need to get you a present. I bet you got me one.”
He knew for a fact that she had gotten him a new watch. A real nice one, too, with a lot of dials and gadgets on it, the kind he really wanted. Lucy had a knack for gift giving. She always seemed to find exactly what a person really wanted.
Lucy turned back to him and touched his arm. “Honest, Charlie. I can’t think of anything I need. You’ve spent enough money on school. I’m going to put it back in our savings account, I promise.”
How would she ever pay it back? She worked at the diner and hardly drew a salary. Unless she took a second job. He didn’t want her to do that.
“Hey, don’t worry about that now. We’ll figure it out.” Charlie put his arm around her. “Let’s just try to enjoy Christmas. Jamie’s getting so worked up, I think he’s going to bust.”
She smiled slightly, but didn’t answer.
They stood together looking out the window for a moment. There was hardly a soul on Main Street or even a car passing by. “Something about the snow makes everything so quiet, you know?” he said finally.
Lucy nodded and sighed. “I know what you mean. It covers over everything for a while.”
Boston, Christmas Eve 1955
IT WAS SNOWING, HEAVY WHITE FLAKES THAT FELL LIKE FEATHERS. Lillian could hardly see across the street. There was a lot of traffic downtown, people hurrying to get home and start their holiday and last-minute shoppers marching through the snow with shopping bags.
She spotted Oliver standing in front of City Hall. He wore a long gray overcoat and a black Fedora. He stood very tall, turning his head from side to side, watching for her. He didn’t seem to notice the snow at all.
Lillian nearly turned around and went the other way. She knew he hadn’t caught sight of her. Finally, she forced herself to cross the street and waved to him.
Oliver met her as she stepped up on the sidewalk. He took her suitcase and kissed her on the cheek. “I was afraid you weren’t coming.”
“Here I am.” She forced a bright note into her voice. She had had so many misgivings at the last minute, she nearly hadn’t come.
“Are you ready?” He bent his head, trying to catch her eye. “No, d
on’t answer that,” he said suddenly. He took her arm and led her through the big plateglass doors.
It was an ordinary municipal building. Very dreary, Lillian thought. She sat on a wooden bench in a long, cold hallway while Oliver showed some papers to a woman at a window.
There were a few other couples waiting, too. Lillian didn’t look at them. She looked down at her hands, covered in black leather gloves. She had always imagined herself getting married in a white gown and veil, not an overcoat and leather gloves.
She had always pictured herself getting married in a church by a minister, surrounded by her family. Her father, walking her down the aisle, giving her away. Dressed in a long white gown and veil, wearing the pearls that brides in her family had worn for generations.
There was no one here but strangers. And Oliver.
Lillian felt like praying, but she didn’t know what to say to God. I’m sorry, she started off. I’m sorry to hurt my family this way. I hope someday they’ll understand. Please bless us, dear Father. Please bless our marriage.
Oliver came to sit beside her. He took her hand in his. She could tell he was nervous, though he was smiling.
They were called quickly and were soon standing in front of a judge or justice of the peace; Lillian wasn’t sure what the man’s exact title was. He went through his litany quickly. Lillian heard her voice falter when she spoke her vows. Oliver’s voice was loud and clear.
Suddenly, they were married. She couldn’t believe it.
Oliver swept her into his arms for a deep, soulful kiss. Then he hugged her close, practically knocking her off her feet.
“Congratulations,” said the man who had married them. “Now would you step to the side, please? You just need to sign that paper and you’re all done.”
Lillian signed her name and then Oliver did, too. He led her outside and hailed a cab with his free hand. A large taxi pulled up right away and Oliver helped her inside.
“Well, where to? We can go see your family. I’m not afraid.” He slipped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.
“Not yet,” Lillian said.
Oliver leaned toward the driver. “The Ritz Carlton, please.” As the cab pulled away he said to her, “We’ll stay over tonight at the Ritz. Tomorrow we can go back to Cape Light and spend Christmas Day with my family. They’ll be very pleased to hear we’re married. What do you think of that?”
“All right.” Lillian thought of her family, how she would miss having the holidays with them. She had even left presents under the tree, though she doubted anyone but Beth would open them.
She would have to call soon and tell them she was married. She pictured her parents getting the news and how the house would be like a wake over the Christmas, mourning her downfall. She felt sad again to have caused her parents so much unhappiness. She wished it could have been different.
But she didn’t want to say anything about that to Oliver and spoil things. “Do your parents know we eloped?” she asked.
He grinned at her. “Of course not. What fun would that be, Lily? I can’t wait to see the look on their faces tomorrow. They think the world of you. Actually, they think you’re too good for me. I told them I was coming in to Boston to have dinner with some old army buddies. They’ll be thrilled to hear I really came to marry you.”
Lillian hoped so. She dreaded to think both of their families would be displeased by their marriage.
“Maybe we should hire a photographer to come with us, to capture the look on their faces when we tell them the news,” Oliver suggested. “We didn’t take any pictures back at City Hall.”
“Oliver, that’s ridiculous.”
“Why not? We need some photographs to look at when we’re old and gray, don’t you think?”
When Lillian didn’t answer he said, “You won’t be sorry, Lily. Not for one single day. Not for one hour.”
Lillian knew that could not possibly be true. Of course somewhere along the way, she would have her misgivings. She had some now that she wouldn’t admit to. But when she looked in Oliver’s eyes, she knew she had made the only choice she could make. Whether it was right or wrong, whether it would lead to her happiness or unhappiness, seemed beside the point.
“I reserved the honeymoon suite at the Ritz, just in case you wanted to stay in town,” he confided. “Remember that day you came to meet me in the Public Garden? Our room looks right out on that spot. I made sure.”
“Did you really?” Lillian asked with a laugh. “Don’t you think that’s being overly sentimental?”
He hugged her closer. “And what’s wrong with that, Mrs. Warwick? We’re married now. I can be as sentimental as I please.”
He kissed her tenderly, starting their honeymoon, Lillian realized. She kissed him back, knowing at that moment she was happier than she had ever been.
Cape Light, Christmas, Present-day
“LUCY? COME ON DOWN, WE’RE ALL WAITING FOR YOU.” CHARLIE called her from the bottom of the stairs.
Lucy tied the belt of her robe and found her slippers. They had spent Christmas Eve with the Tulleys and had come home late. Lucy felt sleepy. Lately all she wanted to do was sleep. But she couldn’t just loll around in bed while everyone waited to open their presents.
Charlie handed her a mug of coffee as she came into the living room. Jamie was already kneeling beside the tree, sorting out the presents and handing them around. C.J. sat on the couch, wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants and looking as groggy and grumpy as she felt. She could hardly tell his regular clothes from his pajamas anymore, she realized.
Usually Lucy handed out the presents. She knew what was in each package and got a little thrill waiting to see if the kids or Charlie would like what she chose for them. But she didn’t have the energy for it this year. Jamie seemed excited to be given the job, and she was content to sit back and watch.
“Can we start opening these?” C.J. shook a small box. “Or are we waiting for a whistle or something?”
“Go ahead,” Charlie said. “You go first, C.J. Let’s take turns. I want to see what everyone got.”
C.J. opened a small square box. Lucy saw his eyes bug out of his head as he realized what was inside. She and Charlie had bought him an iPod. That was all he really wanted, so they splurged.
“Wow, this is awesome! Thanks, both of you.” C.J. hopped up and gave them each a kiss. How rare was that? Lucy couldn’t help chuckling.
“You can change it for another color if you want,” she said.
“That’s okay. This is perfect.” He was already hooking it together and fiddling with the controls.
Charlie looked at Jamie. “Okay, Jamie boy, your turn. Go for the big one, that’s my advice.”
Jamie grabbed his biggest box and tore off the paper. “Rollies! Aw-right!” His face beamed as he looked up at Lucy. “I really wanted these.”
“Yeah, I know.” Lucy nodded, feeling warm inside to see him so pleased with his present. The first two stores she had tried had been sold out. In the third she waited on line almost an hour to finally get her hands on a pair. But it had been worth it.
“No wearing those in the house or to church,” Charlie said.
“Can I wear them at the diner? I can bus tables for you.”
Lucy laughed. “Let’s see how that works out. Maybe I’ll get a pair, too.”
“I got you a present I think you’ll like a whole lot better,” Charlie said to her. He pulled a small box out of his bathrobe pocket. Lucy was surprised. In the past when she told him to skip her Christmas gift, he had taken her at her word.
“Go ahead. Open it,” he urged her.
Lucy felt a little nervous. She could tell from his expression that Charlie was excited to see if she liked his gift. She didn’t want to disappoint him, but he wasn’t that good at picking out gifts for her.
She pulled off the paper and found a small gold box. She lifted the lid and could hardly believe what she saw inside. A diamond heart on a white-gold chain. Tucker had give
n his wife, Fran, a similar one for her birthday months ago, and Lucy had mentioned how much she liked it.
Charlie had remembered that? She would have never guessed he even heard her. And this one, more delicate than Fran’s, was even lovelier.
“Well…do you like it?” He leaned closer, trying to read her expression.
“I love it. It’s beautiful, Charlie. But you didn’t have to get me such an expensive present. I thought we agreed not to spend a lot of money on each other this year.”
“You need something nice once in a while, Lucy. Everyone does. Here, let me put it on for you.”
Lucy handed him the box. She hadn’t planned on wearing it right away. She still had a feeling it might go back to the store. This was really too extravagant a gift, and she didn’t feel right accepting it. Not when she had made them waste so much money the last few years on her going back to school.
Charlie took the necklace out of the box, and Lucy turned so he could put it on her. She lifted her hair away and he fastened the clasp.
“There. Looks perfect,” he said, admiring her. Lucy felt the heart with her fingertips. “Go ahead, go look in the mirror. Don’t you want to see it?”
“Yes, of course.” She walked over to the mirror in the dining room and looked at her reflection. It was a very pretty piece of jewelry. Very simple. Just the kind she wanted. Still, it didn’t feel right to her to keep it. She didn’t feel as if she really deserved it. She kept it on, though, for Charlie’s sake.
Charlie opened his gift from her next, a Swiss Army watch with all the trimmings. He seemed thrilled with it, and she knew she had made the right choice.
The boys had been opening their other gifts, and there was paper and ribbon all over the living room. Jamie was already playing with a “make your own” motorized race car and had all the parts out on the coffee table. C.J. lounged back on the couch with his headphones on, leafing through a big book of sports photos.
Lucy smiled at the happy chaos. “I’m going to get breakfast ready,” she told Charlie. “Then we’ll see if we can get these two to put their presents down long enough to go to church.”
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