“Call nine-one-one! Charlie, call nine-one-one! It’s a cardiac arrest!”
Lucy turned the man over. With her hands under his armpits, she dragged him until he was lying flat on his back on the floor. He was a big man, overweight, and she barely had the strength to move him on her own.
She checked his vital signs and pulse. He had stopped breathing. She immediately pushed his head back, checked his mouth for any food or objects, and began to administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR, just as she had learned in nursing school: first breathing into his mouth until his lungs expanded, then pressing on his heart with the fingertips of one hand flattened to his chest.
She didn’t stop to worry if she was doing something wrong. She didn’t stop to think of anything. She moved on automatic, totally focused on keeping him alive until help arrived.
She suddenly became aware of Charlie crouched down beside her. “What should I do? Is he going to be all right? Is he dying, Lucy?”
“He’s hanging in there,” she murmured quickly as she compressed the man’s chest again. “How long does it take that darn ambulance to come? They’re just up the street—”
She heard the sound of the siren screaming down Main Street and saw the red flashing lights through the diner’s front window.
She didn’t stop her first aid however, knowing that every drop of oxygen was precious to this man now. Dear God, let him live, she prayed silently as she pumped the man’s heart again. I don’t even know this man, but let him wake up and survive this heart attack.
The EMS workers rushed in and crouched down beside her. One slipped an oxygen mask over the man’s face, the other took over the CPR. “Good job,” he said to Lucy.
She nodded and stood up, stepping back so they could do their work. A police officer had also shown up, and he spoke to Charlie, taking down information on a small pad.
A few moments later she saw the man’s eyes slowly open. The EMS worker stopped the CPR. The man’s heart was beating on its own again. Lucy sent up a quick, silent prayer of thanks.
The man was quickly loaded onto a stretcher and taken out to the ambulance. Lucy knew that there was medical equipment in the ambulance that would keep his heartbeat stable until he reached the hospital.
During all the excitement the woman at the counter had left the diner. When the ambulance finally rushed off, Lucy and Charlie were alone. It was very quiet and neither of them spoke.
Lucy, feeling suddenly exhausted, dropped down onto a counter stool. She rested her chin in her hand.
Charlie let out a long breath. “Lucy…for heaven’s sake. Where the heck did you learn how to do that?”
“In nursing school. Where else?”
“You saved that man’s life. You really saved him.”
She couldn’t help grinning at him, despite their scare. “Yeah, I think I did.”
“He was checking out. His face was turning blue. I wouldn’t have known what to do. What would have happened if you hadn’t been here? That guy is one lucky son of a gun, I’ll tell you that.”
Charlie couldn’t stand still; he was practically hopping around the diner. He seemed exhilarated by the emergency while Lucy felt totally drained.
“You know I’m not that big on religion,” he said in a quieter voice.
“Yes, I know that, Charlie. Did you just find some?”
“Don’t you think that was a…a sign of something?”
“A sign? Like, God doesn’t want us to serve bacon cheeseburgers anymore? Too much cholesterol?”
“Not me, Lucy. I’m talking about you.”
“What about me?” She frowned at him, though she could guess what he was getting at.
“You saved a man’s life. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Of course it does.”
“Admit it, Lucy. You loved doing that. You loved saving that guy’s life.”
Lucy laughed at him. It had been fun in a strangely dramatic way. “It was simple first aid. Everyone should know CPR.”
“Maybe they should. But most people don’t have the interest in those things, not like you do. You should have seen yourself. You were really something. I hardly recognized you.” He shook his head, looking genuinely impressed. “So serious and determined. So professional. You were…like another person,” he admitted quietly.
That was the way she felt when she was nursing, she wanted to say. Lucy couldn’t deny that she had been happier feeling she had some higher goal, some greater purpose to her life.
“Well, it’s over now,” she said. “I hope that guy does all right.”
“Yeah. That’s a great way to start the new year, with a heart attack.”
“It’s a tough break,” she agreed. “But sometimes when bad things happen, it’s for the best. It’s a warning of something that could have been even worse, right?”
Charlie was staring at her now. “I guess that’s true.”
She suddenly felt self-conscious. She could tell he was thinking about her training and what had happened at the hospital. She didn’t want to get into all that again. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah, I’ll shut the lights off and lock up.” He didn’t move from where he stood, though. “Lucy, I’m sorry. I never understood what it meant to you. I never really…got it. But watching you keep that guy alive just now. Wow. I guess I finally do.”
Lucy felt grateful for his admission. And sorry it had been so long in coming. “Better late than never,” she said quietly.
“Is it too late, do you think? Couldn’t you call somebody at the school and see if they’ll give you another shot?”
Was Charlie suggesting that she go back to school? Lucy thought she might fall right off the stool.
“Now you’re saying you want me to go back to school?” She stared at him, but he didn’t answer. “What about the house being a mess and managing the kids? If I’m working at a hospital, it’s going to be even longer hours,” she warned him.
“I know. But better that than watching you walk around looking so unhappy. If you’re home and miserable, we’re all miserable. Even if we have enough clean underwear. Besides, I hate to see you quit. You’re not a quitter, Lucy. A quitter never could have stayed married to me this long.”
She finally smiled. “You got that right, pal.”
“Maybe I’ve always known you could do it, but I just didn’t want you to,” he confessed. “Maybe I thought that if you finished your college degree and got to be a real nurse, you’d be moving away from me.”
He sighed and looked down at the floor. She could tell it was hard for him to admit this to her. It was hard for her to hear it.
He took a breath. “It was selfish, I admit it. I guess I felt I was losing you. Now I see, I’ve lost you anyway. And I want you back. I want you happy again. I know you could do this if you just try. Look what you did just now, just clear out of the blue.”
He walked up to her and took her hand. Lucy looked into his eyes, wondering a bit at just how much his bold admission and unexpected vote of confidence meant to her. More than he would ever know. She had never told him about Jack Zabriskie’s visit the other day. It was funny how Jack’s words hadn’t moved her, but Charlie, who had always been undermining her, was the one who was able to get through.
“So, what do you think?”
“I appreciate what you just said, Charlie. It means a lot to me.”
“I meant every word. That’s still not an answer.”
“I’ll think it over. Maybe I’ll call my advisor on Monday and see what she has to say.”
“That’s a start, Lucy. That’s a good start.” Charlie nodded approvingly.
Lucy smiled at him. “Life is very fragile, Charlie. It wasn’t me that saved that customer. It was the man upstairs.”
“I know. But you have to take some credit. You sure helped Him out tonight. I’d give you an A-plus.”
He leaned over and hugged her and Lucy hugged him back. Gosh, life was strange sometimes. Wasn�
��t it?
LUCY KNEW THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD BE SLEEPING IN ON NEW Year’s Day. Charlie, though, was unusually eager to get to church. Lucy wondered if witnessing the near-fatal heart attack of a man about his own age had scared him, but she didn’t ask.
The church was nearly empty, as she had expected. Tucker, who was a deacon, showed them to a seat near the front.
“Happy New Year, everyone. I wish you all a blessed, peaceful, healthy year to come,” Reverend Ben greeted the congregation.
His sermon was about New Year’s resolutions. Lucy had made a few of those over the years and broken most of them. She wondered if Reverend Ben had some advice on how to actually keep them.
“What do you think God is thinking, watching us make all these lists for self-improvement? I’ve sometimes wondered that. God loves and accepts us with all our faults, no matter how much we stumble and fall. No matter how quickly we give up on our resolutions and self-improvement plans, or even give up on our hopes and dreams, God never thinks we’re failures.”
Those words hit home. Lucy felt the sting. She had given up on herself, marked herself as a total failure.
“No matter how often we give up on healing our addictions or trying to mend broken relationships or curb our tempers or have better values,” he continued, “God doesn’t give up on us. He’s always ready to inspire us with the will and courage to try again, to do it better another time—if we only keep our hearts and spirits open to His inspiration.”
Had she closed her heart and spirit to God? Had she left God out of her dilemma? Maybe that’s why it all seemed so hopeless, with no solution.
“We can expect perfection in heaven. But not on earth. Not from our fellow men and certainly not from ourselves. Our job here is to extend the same spirit of love and forgiveness God shows us, to everyone we meet. And to ourselves.
“One of my favorite sayings is, ‘The greatest wisdom is kindness.’ I would have to add it’s the greatest philosophy and the greatest medicine, too. You can go far making one resolution this year—resolving simply to be kinder. To be more forgiving, accepting. It’s a step in a whole new path through life that can surely make the world a better, more loving place.”
The choir began to sing, and Lucy turned to the hymn “Amazing Grace.” She wasn’t very mindful of the music though, her thoughts wandering. She thought about what Jack had said, about the scales with doing good on one side and screwing up on the other. Did saving that stranger’s life last night balance it all out for her again? Was it a sign, as Charlie had said?
Lucy wasn’t so sure about that, but Reverend Ben’s words had struck a chord. She needed to start by forgiving herself. By knowing she may have made a mistake, but that didn’t make her a failure. Maybe God had given her a talent for helping people, for nursing, and it was her duty to keep trying, until she was really good at it.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Southport Hospital, Early January, Present-day
NORA MARTIN WAS A MUCH BETTER TEACHER THAN Margaret Sherman, Lucy could tell that from the start. She was calm and clear with her instructions. She never made Lucy feel dumb for admitting she was unsure of something, and she was usually encouraging. Nora, who had heard Lucy’s story and agreed to be her new supervisor, made Lucy feel as if she were truly being given a fresh start.
Lucy was now assigned to a different wing but with the same kind of cases she had dealt with before, patients who had noncritical conditions or who were recovering from surgery. Most of the doctors on this wing were new to her, so she was surprised to run into Jack her very first day back.
Things had been good with Charlie lately—better than usual since he was trying hard to be supportive of her—but she still felt that little spark of attraction when Jack smiled at her.
“Hey, Lucy. I didn’t know you were back.” He walked over and gave her a quick hug, and her heart raced.
“It’s my first day. So far, so good.”
“I knew you’d come back sooner or later.”
“I didn’t. But thanks—I’m grateful to you for coming out to talk to me that day.”
“That was nothing. I knew you had the guts to stick it out. You just had to find them again.”
“Yeah, maybe.” She nodded and smiled at him. “So how’s it going? How’s your new year?”
“Pretty good.” His face lit with a slow smile. “My wife and I are back together. We spent some time together over the holidays and decided to try again.”
“Wow, that’s great.” She looked at him carefully. “You seem happy.”
“I am,” he admitted. “Very.”
Lucy forced a bright smile. She heard a whooshing sound and knew it was the hot air, rushing out of her silly fantasy. She almost wanted to laugh out loud at herself.
“I’m glad for you, Jack. I hope it all works out. Listen, I have to run. Maybe we can have coffee sometime.”
“Sure, I’d like that. See you,” he said. “And good luck.”
“Thanks.” Lucy had the urge to add, “I need it!” but squelched the impulse. She was trying to cultivate a more positive, confident attitude.
Lucy returned to her rounds. With Nora overseeing her, she cared for several patients throughout the morning. At one point Nora asked her to change an IV bag and Lucy nearly lost her nerve, but she forced herself to feign a professional, confident air and double-checked every step in the process.
She had missed the hospital, she realized. She missed the interaction with the patients, and she missed applying all that information from nursing school to the real world.
Nursing was not exactly what she had imagined. It had demands she never expected, and tedious, routine work, too. But in most everything she did, Lucy felt she was bringing comfort and doing good. A mountain of good, that with God’s help, would always outweigh any grains of sand on the other side.
LILLIAN OFTEN RETREATED TO HER ROOM DURING THE MONTH OF January. A month was not a long time to plan a party, according to Sara, and she and Luke seemed to spend every spare minute preparing for the big event. It all made Lillian very cross.
“You two aren’t big on patience, as far as I can see,” Lillian commented one evening as Sara brought dinner in to her. “It’s the influence of technology. It’s conditioned your generation to instant gratification.”
There was nothing instantly gratifying about fixing up Lillian’s old house, Sara wanted to say. But any mention of the work that was under way sent Lillian into an automatic tizzy, so Sara held her tongue.
Luckily, Sam volunteered to help Luke with more painting and repairs. Lillian’s precious oriental carpets, which were too delicate for the light of day, were rolled up and carried off to be cleaned, and the hardwood floors underneath polished to a high gloss.
The large rooms were crowded with furniture and brick-a-brac. While Sara knew that rearranging upset her grandmother, she did find a way to move out a number of small pedestal tables, plant stands, curio cabinets, and chairs, one by one—sometimes late at night, when Lillian was sleeping.
The process reminded Sara of a game she had when she was a little girl called What’s Missing? There was a very complicated felt picture with many details, and you would close your eyes and the other person would take away one item. Then you had to guess what was gone.
Every morning Lillian would roll into the dining room for her breakfast and look around. “Is something missing in here? Over there, near the window. Didn’t I have that little mahogany cupboard with the glass doors?”
Sara would feign her innocent stare. “I think Jessica took it back to her house for safekeeping when we did the floors. I’ll ask her about it.”
“You can parcel out the goodies when I’m dead and buried,” Lillian snapped. “I’m not ready to have the place ransacked quite yet.”
Sara grinned. “Don’t worry, Lillian. You’ll get it back.” After the party, she meant. Sara wasn’t about to watch all her guests bumping their knees on end tables. The guest list had grown long—
too long, she thought. Even though Dan had warned her, Sara couldn’t manage to control Emily’s penchant for large parties. After all, Emily was the mayor. She knew everyone in town. Plus, she had been denied planning a big wedding, so Sara had to cut her a little slack.
Sara’s entire family—her adoptive parents and other relatives—were coming up from Maryland. Luke’s family, who lived mainly in Boston, were coming as well.
At first Luke couldn’t quite believe Sara’s plan to have their party at Lillian’s house. He called it the Haunted Mansion and insisted he was coming dressed as Count Dracula.
But soon enough, he got into the idea. One night, while Lillian was sleeping, Sara slipped the photo of the Warwick party out of her box and showed it to him.
“That’s Lillian? Are you sure?” His shock was genuine.
“That’s her all right. Wasn’t she stunning?”
“A regular knockout. No wonder she bagged a millionaire. He’s not so bad, either. I like the white tie and tails, very classy.”
Sara smiled up at him. “You would look gorgeous in white tie and tails, darling.”
“Oh no…” Luke handed the photo back to her and shook his head. “I was thinking more of my good sports jacket and some new jeans, Sara. You are not going to make me dress up in that penguin suit, are you?”
Sara tilted her head. “It would really blow everyone away if we did go for the glamour look. And I know how you love to do the unexpected, unconventional thing.”
“I hate to tell you, but you’ve got the wrong guy.”
“No,” Sara said, “I don’t. I’m sure of that.”
As he kissed her she thought that there was a chance she might persuade him in time.
TIME WAS PASSING QUICKLY AND DESPITE SARA’S CAREFUL LISTS, there was still so much to do. The party preparations often kept her up late into the night.
One night she was working on her laptop at the kitchen table when Luke appeared in the doorway, his hair mussed and his eyes squinting at the light. “Are you still up? It’s nearly two A.M. What in the world are you doing?”
A Christmas to Remember Page 25