“I’m not.” Kendall glanced at her watch. “So, let’s pray and then I can get back to my office.”
“I agree,” Asia said. “This doesn’t make any sense. I don’t even know why my aunt would want me here. It’s not like I’m dealing with an ex-husband.”
“Well, I think this is a good idea,” Vanessa piped softly. “It seems a bit strange to me because I’m not quite dealing with an ex either. But I get what Pastor is doing. And we all know that she hits a home run whenever it comes to helping the people she loves. She’s just trying to find a way to support us.”
Sheridan passed Vanessa a grateful smile. “I agree. It’s about support. So, I’m willing to give this a try”—she stopped—“if you are.”
Only Vanessa nodded, but when neither Kendall nor Asia made a run toward the door, Sheridan was encouraged.
“Great,” she said. “So, my thought is we begin by telling just a bit about ourselves, our situations…if you feel comfortable.” It looked like a choreographed dance, the way the three women squirmed in their chairs. “I’ll begin,” Sheridan offered. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear all the specifics of my life—that’ll come, maybe next week—”
“Wait a minute,” Kendall said, holding up her hand. “I thought this was a onetime thing. I thought we’d say a quick prayer tonight, then kiss and say good-bye. I didn’t make any plans to come back.”
“I’m not coming back here either,” Asia said. “I have too much going on in my life to sit around and chat—”
Sheridan said, “Chatting is not what Pastor had in mind.”
“That’s what this looks like to me. Trust—I ain’t coming back here.”
“Take that up with Pastor.”
“I don’t mind being here,” Vanessa said.
Bless you, is what Sheridan thought. Aloud she said, “Whether we come back next week or not, let’s handle tonight. Like I said, I’ll start with the reason why Pastor asked me here. A few years ago, my husband and I divorced after being married for seventeen years and it came as a complete surprise to me.”
“What happened?” Asia asked. “Was he sneaking around with another woman?” She paused, added with a smirk, “A younger woman?”
Sheridan kept her eyes on Asia. “No, not a younger woman. He left me for an older man.”
Sheridan could not hold back her laugh. Not only were their shocked expressions priceless, but she wanted to stand and cheer at her own boldness. How far she’d come! Even a year ago, admitting Quentin’s preference for men wasn’t easy. But now, it was just a fact, a part of her history. “It wasn’t that bad, guys. Well, at first it was. But I survived.”
“Are you serious?” Kendall said. “A man?”
Sheridan nodded.
Kendall said, “After that, I guess my situation isn’t so bad.” She took a breath, “My husband left me for a woman”—a quick glance at Asia—“a younger woman.” Another beat. “My sister.”
“Dang!” Asia yelped. “Your sister? What kind of nonsense is that? I know you beat her down.”
“Not exactly,” was all Kendall said. After a pensive moment, she added, “And I just found out they’re engaged.”
“Hold up…your husband and your sister are getting married?” Asia’s mouth was wide open. “Isn’t that incestuous or something?”
“No.”
“Well, if not incest, it’s some kind of white people crap for sure,” Asia added. “Black people don’t do that.”
“Well, I’m black and it happened to me, so there goes your theory.”
“And,” Sheridan said, “I’m sure it’s happened to other people. “We don’t know everyone in the world, Asia.”
“Still,” the youngest in the group added, “that’s some mad mess. Like one of those crazy talk show programs.”
“I thought that too, at first.” Kendall shrugged. “But I’m fine with it now.”
Sheridan frowned. The way Kendall sat, with her head high and a half-smile curving her lips, she looked fine. Even dressed in the simple chocolate velour sweat suit that perfectly matched her skin, her success radiated as brightly as the one-carat diamond studs that sparkled in her ears. But there was something that encased her eyes—sadness—that revealed how far from fine she was.
Sheridan’s glance moved toward Vanessa and she wondered if the others knew her story. “Vanessa,” she began softly, not sure that the woman who definitely looked like a widow was ready to share. “I don’t know if you want—”
“I want to,” Vanessa said with too much cheer for Sheridan. Vanessa took a deep breath and smoothed her blue-flowered dress over her lap. “I guess I have an ex too, in a way.” She paused, breathed again. “My husband passed away.”
“Sorry,” Kendall and Asia said together.
“He committed suicide. He shot himself.”
“Dang!” Asia exclaimed, this time almost jumping from her chair. “Doesn’t anyone have a normal ex situation anymore?”
Kendall turned to face Asia. “Well, let’s hear from you, Ms. Asia. Since you’re sitting here telling us we’re not normal. Let’s hear your normal ex situation.”
Asia leaned back in her chair. “I don’t have any idea why my aunt has me here. I’m not married.” She paused, swallowed, as if she were waiting for memories to pass. “This meeting is clearly not for me.”
“Maybe it has something to do with Bobby Johnson,” Kendall smirked.
Asia’s eyes widened, but she recovered quickly. “I’d stop right there if I were you because you don’t know anything about me.”
“I must know a little somethin’-somethin’.” Kendall chuckled. “You and Bobby are in every tabloid in the supermarket.”
“That’s how you spend your days? Reading those rags?”
Sheridan held up her hand. “Ladies, we don’t need any battles up in here—except the ones we’re going to fight with prayer.”
“Sheridan’s right,” Vanessa interjected. “The longer I sit here, the more I see that this could be good—for all of us.” She paused. “Only you know the reason your aunt wanted you here, Asia. And, we can help you if you share with us.”
“How can you help me? Your husband put a gun to his head. I don’t need that kind of help.”
The silence was heated by their glares. I’m going to talk to Pastor Ford, Sheridan thought. This would never work if Asia stayed in the midst.
Before Sheridan could come to her defense, Vanessa spoke, “You’re right, my husband did that. And to the rest of the world, it probably looks like the worst thing that could have possibly happened. But you know what? I’m not the first woman this has happened to,” her heart said. “And just sitting here, I also know I’m not the only one with challenges.” She sighed. “You never know who you’re sitting next to. When you think you have problems, someone else is dealing with something just as big—if not bigger—than you are. So”—she paused, looked straight at Asia, and her heart continued—“if you think I don’t have anything to offer because my husband killed himself, then you’ll be the one missing out because there’s a lot that I can share.”
Sheridan wondered whether, if she were to give Vanessa a standing ovation, Kendall would join in. The look on Kendall’s face told her she would.
Asia shrugged, as if Vanessa’s lecture was no big deal. But she sat up straighter, bowed her head a bit. “Well, if you need to know, I guess I do have an ex—in a way. My boyfriend and I”—she glared at Kendall—“just broke up. Although my aunt doesn’t know about it yet.”
“So, he left you for his wife.” Kendall laughed. “That’s classic. Bobby’s wife—is she a younger woman or was just being his wife enough?”
“You know, you are dancing on my last nerve.”
“Little girl, don’t even think about jumping in my face.” Kendall’s finger punctuated the air with each word she uttered. “If you’re bad enough, bring it on.”
Asia, in her designer pantsuit, diamonds glittering everywhere, stood and pushe
d back her chair. “Oh, I got somethin’ for you.”
Sheridan’s eyes widened as Asia reached for her earrings, and began unscrewing the studs.
Asia said, “You don’t have any idea who you’re messing with. You don’t have any idea where I’m from.”
“Like that would matter to me….” Kendall chuckled.
Sheridan tried, but couldn’t get her lips to move, stunned by the scene that played in front of her. “Forget about the fact that you are grown women,” Sheridan finally said. “But have you forgotten where we are?” Sheridan was ready to march right into Pastor Ford’s office and surrender. She would tell her pastor that she’d work with Vanessa. But Kendall and Asia? They were pistols and she wasn’t willing to be in their line of fire.
“I’m sorry.” Kendall backed down first, even though her hands remained squeezed into fists.
Asia grumbled—although the words didn’t sound like any kind of English, Sheridan was sure it was an apology.
“Look,” Sheridan began, “this is a stressful time. My divorce was awhile ago, but your separation wounds are fresh. However, I can tell you that you will get through this. I did.”
They looked at her with new eyes.
Encouraged, she continued, “I made it through that test in my life because I had a family who loved me, Pastor Ford who reminded me how to stand, and God who carried me when I just was too tired to walk. All of that worked for me. But during that time if I’d had a few women to talk to who could relate to what I was going through, it might have been better.
“I think that’s all that Pastor Ford is offering us. Another arm to lean on.” She paused and looked at each woman. “Some extra shoulders to cry on.”
Tears brimmed at the corners of Vanessa’s eyes, but still she smiled, and in that moment, Sheridan knew there was a lot she could learn from a woman who could still show cheer through her kind of tragedy.
Kendall’s scowl had softened and she nodded, slightly, as if she wanted Sheridan to know that she almost agreed. Even Asia’s hostility seemed to have lessened—although, with her arms and legs crossed and her eyebrows furrowed so close together it looked like she had a unibrow, it was hard to say if she would return next week. But when Asia granted Sheridan a half smile, half smirk, Sheridan nodded and tossed away the thought she had of voting Asia off this island. Maybe there’s hope for her too.
“Ladies, we got off to a shaky start, but that’s not how we have to finish.” She reached her hand forward and Vanessa grabbed it before she extended her other hand to Kendall. It took a moment for Kendall to reach out to Asia.
With a smile, Sheridan bowed her head and prayed.
Chapter Nineteen
VANESSA
“I wish you’d stayed home today, Vanessa.”
Vanessa pressed her cell phone between her ear and shoulder as she yanked open the glass door. “That’s what you said about church last week and that’s why I didn’t go to services yesterday. But that was enough. I’ve got to get back to work.”
“Yeah,” Louise said, “but I was hoping you’d give it a little more time. If you thought those simpletons in church were something, I have a feeling you ain’t seen nothing until you meet up with those knuckleheads here—beginning with those two in your office.”
Vanessa chuckled. “I can handle Nadine and Monica, and anyone else the devil tries to send my way.”
“I just wish you’d give yourself time to heal.”
Vanessa nodded at the building’s security guard before she stepped in front of the elevator banks. “I am healing. I’d just prefer to do it around people, rather than at home.” She didn’t add the word that still haunted her—alone.
“I guess it could be good for you to come back to work. I wish you worked in my department so that I could keep an eye on you.”
“I’ll be all right. God never puts more on you than you can bear.” She smiled at her own words. Since the prayer meeting last week, her heart had been winning. The thoughts still came to her, the ones that told her that she’d be better off with Reed. But she kept her mind on the words that she was sure God was sending—You can make it.
Still, it was hard to fight the lonely hours at home, in that house that reminded her with its silence that she was alone.
“You have a great attitude, girl,” Louise said.
“Well, either I believe in God, or I don’t.” Again it was her heart that spoke. “I can’t be backing down.”
“You’re better than me. I don’t know how I’d be standing if I were wearing your shoes. So, let’s celebrate. Let’s go out to dinner. Are you up for that?”
“That would be so great.” She smiled. God was better than good. Dinner out—now she wouldn’t have another night alone. “Thanks a lot, Louise.”
“Nothing but love. I’ll meet you at your desk at five. We’ll take my car and I’ll bring you back here afterwards.”
They said their good-byes just as the elevator doors opened. As Vanessa moved through the carpeted hall, she calculated the hours in her head. By the time she and Louise had dinner, chatted, and then drove back to the office, she wouldn’t get home until nine or so. Just in time to go straight to bed.
She strolled into the outer offices of Olympic Marketing; she’d been gone for two weeks, but this world was exactly the same. Nadine, filing her nails and chomping on a wad of gum too big for her mouth, was perched on the edge of Monica’s desk. The officemates gossiped as if two phones weren’t ringing.
Vanessa said, “Do you want me to get that?”
Their mouths stopped moving.
“No, that’s okay,” Monica said. “I got it.”
Vanessa turned toward her desk.
“What are you doing here?” Nadine asked.
“Good morning to you, too.” Vanessa hung her purse on the back of her chair. “Is Mr. Wrigley in yet?”
Both of the women shook their heads, their stares remaining on her.
“Great! I’ll catch up on some of the work I missed.” She flipped the computer’s switch, turned on her radio, and kept her eyes away from the ones staring at her. But still, Nadine and Monica gawked as if they were waiting for something to happen.
Vanessa opened Mr. Wrigley’s calendar. Without looking up, she said, “Thanks for covering for me, Nadine.”
“Sure.”
“You too, Monica.”
“No problem.” The young woman waved her four-inch Pepto Bismol–colored nails in the air. “That’s how we do.”
Vanessa frowned. How we do? The three of them had never done anything. For almost four years, she’d been the outsider. Never once had the duo—who were already chums when Vanessa accepted this administrative position—invited her to lunch, or any of their after-work excursions. In the beginning, she’d been hurt by their snub. The snide comments they made about the way she dressed or wore her hair didn’t help.
But Reed had been there to reassure her.
“Baby, they’re jealous,” he’d said after she’d complained for the millionth time.
“Look at me,” she said. “What can those two be jealous of?” In her mind, Nadine and Monica had everything. Although she often frowned when the twenty-something-year-olds sashayed into the office wearing cleavage-raising tops and miniskirts, she admired their carefree attitudes. Not even their conservative fifty-something-year-old bosses could get the two to roll on their program. Nadine and Monica did their thing, their way. “I can assure you,” she’d told Reed, “that neither one of those girls is jealous of me.”
“Baby, I hate when you talk like that. Why do you put yourself down?”
“I’m not doing that. I’m just sayin’ they’re young—”
“And what are you, old?” He’d chuckled. “Okay, so we’re not in our twenties, but we have the wisdom of time.”
“And they’re so thin,” she’d continued her litany.
“Like any black man wants a bone.”
She’d sighed, and Reed had taken her into his arms.
“Baby, they’re jealous. They know you have a man at home who adores his thirty-eight-year-old, size sixteen, more-than-a-woman wife.”
He’d made her feel so much better that the next morning, she’d sashayed into her office, tossed aside their sideway glances, and ignored their chitchat. On that day, their mid-back-length weaves and twenty-four-inch waistlines didn’t look so good—in fact, they looked downright hoochie.
The years passed and they’d never become anything close to friends, but, somehow, Nadine grinned at Vanessa now as if they’d always been buddies.
“So.” Nadine perched against Vanessa’s desk as if she planned to stay awhile. “I was sorry to hear about Reed.”
Vanessa’s heart sped up. “Thanks.” It was as short a response as she could give. She prayed that it, and the fact that she didn’t look up, would be enough.
“I’m sorry, too.” Monica planted herself next to Nadine. “I couldn’t believe it when Mr. Wrigley told us that he passed away.”
With the exception of dropping off papers from one of their bosses, Vanessa couldn’t remember a time when the two had come this close to her. They’d always stayed so far away—as if her age, her looks were contagious.
“So, what happened?” Nadine asked.
Now Vanessa’s heart raced. “Reed died.” Still, she didn’t look at them.
“We know that,” Nadine said, “but we heard he committed suicide. Were you guys having problems?”
Slowly, her eyes lifted and she glared at the women who had never strung more than five consecutive words of conversation with her. Who had never shared a meal or a glass of water with her. Yet here they stood, wide-eyed as if they should have permission to delve into the private sanctum of her heartbreak.
Vanessa opened her mouth, but Monica stepped in. “Nadine, suicide is not about someone’s problem with someone else. It’s about the person themselves.” With a nod, she smiled at Vanessa, and then explained, “I looked it up on the Internet after I heard about Reed. But the one thing I found is that if you want to understand why someone does this, the suicide note gives insight.” She paused. “What did Reed’s note say?”
The Ex Files Page 10