At some point, I fell asleep.
When I woke, the boat was no longer moving. The engines were off. I followed Peaches up to the main deck. Aamod was standing outside the boat, helping Naima safely climb out on to the dock. Robinson and Bowser waited their turn.
“Good afternoon,” Robinson said. “I was about to come wake you two up.”
“I’m awake,” I mumbled in tired English, though I’m sure I didn’t look awake. I could barely keep my eyes open, as the bright midday sun blinded me.
Peaches and I carefully climbed off the boat.
“Where are we?” Peaches asked.
“We’re at a marina in Panama City.”
“Why?”
“We need to refuel.”
I guess that explained the gas pump in front of me.
I shielded my eyes, glanced around. The dock was as wide as a highway. There had to be fifty to a hundred boats big and small parked in berths.
“How did she do?” Peaches asked.
Cathy stood nearby, holding Olivia. “Oh, fine. She slept most of the way. Must have been the rocking of the boat.”
“Has she eaten?”
“Yeah, I just fed her not long ago.”
Aamod and Naima wandered off down the dock to stretch their legs.
“Where is Ted and Brian?” I asked.
“They went inside the station,” Robinson replied. “The power is out on the pumps, but Brian’s sure this place has a generator. Now we wait and see if him and Ted can figure out how to turn it on.”
“And what if they can’t?”
“Then we go someplace else. There’s a bunch of other marinas in the area.”
We headed down the dock toward the mainland. Jax tagged along, exploring, looking for something new and interesting to pee on. At the end of the dock were a number of buildings. Restaurants. Supply shops. Additional dry storage for boats. To the right was a boat ramp, beyond it a small picnic area. In the distance was a parking lot with dozens of trucks.
We entered the building closest to the dock, a small convenience store. I wanted to tell Aamod to get behind the counter and get to work. It would have gotten a laugh or two. But then I remembered Aamod had the sense of humor of a medieval executioner, and I wanted to live to see another day.
Ted and Brian were in the back of the store working on the generator. Robinson went to check on their progress. The rest of us browsed the store, which contained a little bit of everything. Food. Drinks. Boat parts. Fishing poles. Bait and tackle. Sunglasses. And all manner of tourist items, including clothing and hats.
Peaches and I both picked out a hat and a pair of sunglasses. Then we looked at ourselves in the long security mirror at the back of the store.
I started laughing. “We look ridiculous.”
“I think I look okay,” she said, adjusting her tan, wide brimmed hat.
“You look like you should be digging up dinosaur bones.” I took my cap off and looked at the fish stitched on to the front. “Who would buy a hat with a fish on it?”
“People who hang out in fishing stores.”
“Point taken. What kind of fish is this anyway?”
“Looks like a Marlin.”
I shrugged. “If you say so.”
“I think you’ve spent way too much time indoors, Jimmy.”
“Not anymore.”
Robinson returned and led us back outside.
“We’re gonna have lunch here,” he said. “Everybody cool with that?”
No one objected. Bowser waited at the small picnic area with Cathy and Olivia while the rest of us walked back to the boat to grab the cooler we had packed. Ted and Brian came out of the store shortly after lunch commenced.
“Got the power back on,” Brian said, smiling.
“That’s great,” Cathy said.
“Thank Ted.”
“It was nothing, really,” Ted said. “Basic stuff.”
Always the humble survivalist. If they had put me in charge, I would have still been in there trying to figure out the ice machine from the generator.
Everyone dug into their lunch.
Except moi.
“Not hungry, Jimmy?” Robinson asked.
“Just concerned about keeping it down. How much longer do we have until we reach New Orleans?”
“Maybe another ten hours,” Brian replied.
“What?” I checked my watch. 2:54 p.m. “So we’re gonna get there in the middle of the night?”
Brian nodded. “Or first thing tomorrow morning. Don’t worry, I know how to navigate at night.”
“I’m not worried. That’s just … a long time.”
“More reason why you should probably eat something now,” Robinson said. “You’ll feel worse if you don’t.”
“I’ll see how long I can last. I can always eat something on the boat.”
I didn’t last long. Less than an hour after Brian had refueled the boat and we left the marina, I was starving. It sounded like I had an alien in my belly. Luckily, unlike breakfast, I managed to keep my lunch down. I was slowly starting to get accustomed to the movement of the boat.
Instead of hanging out below, Peaches and I graced the rest of the group with our presence for the remainder of the trip. Robinson blasted oldies tunes while we coasted to the west and watched the most beautiful sight I think I’d ever seen.
Sunset over the water.
Once the sun finally slipped beyond the horizon and only stars filled the sky, I closed my eyes, feeling more at peace than any time in the last few weeks.
There was real beauty left in this ravaged world, but you could only see it when you stopped looking behind you. There was nothing in the rear view but ghosts of the past. I had to let go of that old life—of the bookstore—of my grandma, who I missed so much. I had a new family now.
Life wasn’t over.
Life went on.
There was real beauty left in this ravaged world, and she was asleep in my arms.
Peaches.
I held her until I drifted off.
Twelve hours after leaving Panama City, we arrived in New Orleans. It was around four in the morning. We drifted into Lake Pontchartrain and under I-10 that led directly into the city center. Brian pulled the boat into a lagoon that sat just west of the interstate, and found a place to tie up against a wooden dock. Then he cut the engines.
Since nightfall, most of us had been asleep. We were all now awake.
“Are we getting out?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Brian whispered. “I thought we’d wait here until the sun comes up. Be safer. I don’t want to just let you guys off any old place.”
“I appreciate that,” Robinson said.
“According to the map, we’re still about thirty miles out. Whereabouts in the city does your ex stay?”
“Uptown district. A neighborhood called Dixon.”
“Sounds fancy,” I said.
Robinson shook his head. “It’s not.”
Naima came up beside us. “What’s that sound?”
We all heard it. Naima was just the first to speak of it. The sound. Like a million people dragging their feet. Buildings blocked our view of the interstate. That and the darkness. But I was sure that’s where the sound was originating from.
“Infected,” Robinson whispered.
Two hours later the sky began to lighten. Day was almost upon us. Brian got us moving again, took us south to a canal on the east side of the city that connected Lake Pontchartrain to the Mississippi River.
“You’re gonna have to refuel again,” Ted said to Brian. “We’ll help you. We want you two to get back to Florida nice and safe.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Brian said.
“What? Refueling?”
“Yeah. I’m gonna find another boat.”
Ted smirked. “That’s one way of doing things.”
Being a major port town, there was no shortage of boats to choose from. Yet it took over an hour to locate one that fit the two
most important requirements. A tank with a minimum of two-hundred gallons. And, of course, the keys inside.
With Brian and Cathy’s return ride marked on the map, we headed back down the canal. Ahead of us was I-10. It sliced through the heart of the city like a jagged knife. Upon it, high above us, crossing the bridge, was a parade of infected. They were packed together, shuffling along slowly.
“Goddamn,” Bowser whispered. “You all see this?”
No one answered. We were too busy staring.
“It’s not too late to go back,” Brian said. “To Florida, I mean.”
I glanced over at Robinson.
“We’ll be fine,” he finally said.
I’m glad someone was confident.
Shortly after passing under the interstate, we came to the Mississippi. We took it southwest down a u-shaped bend. The river seemed to snake through the city in an S pattern. At the bottom of the loop, we coasted up to what looked to be a commercial port. There were thousands upon thousands of large rectangular shipping containers, most brightly colored, all stacked together in rows like Lego blocks, up to five or six high. Two container ships were tethered against the dock. Giant cranes hovered over them.
“Are we gonna stop here?” I asked.
“Dock may be a little high for us,” Brian replied.
We rounded the corner, going north again. To the right was an old rusted out dock. On the shore was a disorganized mess of scrap metal. Old shipping containers. Heavy machinery. Mounds of broken ship parts, rusted orange and brown. It looked like a place where old junk went to rot and die.
“I think I could dock here,” Brian said, easing back on the throttle, slowing the boat speed by half. “What do y’all think?”
“Looks lovely,” I said.
“Can I check the map real fast?” Robinson said.
Brian nodded. “Yeah, sure thing. Take your time.”
After consulting the map, Robinson said, “Looks like Dixon is pretty much a straight shot north of here.”
“How many miles?” Ted asked.
“Maybe six or seven.”
“That’s not too bad.”
“Yep. This should be fine, Brian. No point in wasting anymore of your time. I know you need to get back.”
Brian eased back on to the throttle and slowly maneuvered the forty-foot cruiser up against the side of the small dock. I was so glad to get off the boat and be back on land. My legs felt wobbly. Or maybe that was just my head. It was an unpleasant sensation I hoped would wear off soon.
Ted stayed on the boat with Brian, handing our stuff over the side. It was more than I remembered. We’d need to find a way of transporting all of it. Looking around, there were no cars in sight.
“I think that’s it,” Brian said, and climbed off the boat. Ted followed behind him.
Brian shook hands, thanking us.
Cathy gave out hugs. “I hope you find your son,” she said to Robinson.
Robinson smiled. “Thank you. So do I. Have a safe trip back.”
“We should be fine,” Brian said. “I’m more worried about you guys.”
So was I. There was a thick black fog resting over the city like a blanket. The air was hard to breathe, smelled putrid. A stillness permeated everything. It was unnerving. Silent. Like a graveyard.
And I had a sudden feeling I might die here.
With the goodbye’s out of the way, there was only one last order of business to discuss. And it came totally out of left field.
“Did you ask them, honey?” Brian said to his wife.
“No, I changed my mind.”
“Why?”
Cathy seemed to shell up, an uncertain look on her face. “I don’t know. It’s just…”
“What? What is it?” Robinson asked.
Cathy turned toward Peaches. “I was just gonna say—” she began, fumbling over her words. Then she sighed. “How do I say this?”
Brian jumped in for the save. “It’s safe to say where you guys are going might be dangerous. You know that, or you wouldn’t have brought so many weapons.”
“Always be prepared,” Ted remarked.
It was practically Ted’s motto.
“Well, you all stayed at our house for a week or so,” Brian continued. “Things were calm. Even out of the neighborhood, the number of infected dwindled every day. I think … we both think … that we can get by without much trouble. That we can start to make a life there again, even with the world the way it is now. So Cathy thought maybe…”
“Maybe you’d like us to look after Olivia for you,” Cathy blurted out.
We all turned and looked at Peaches, at Olivia sleeping in her arms.
There was a long moment of silence, and then Peaches said, “What do you mean … look after her?”
“I think she means—” I started to say.
“Just take care of her until you get back,” Cathy said.
“What if we don’t come back?” Peaches asked.
Cathy frowned. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” She started to tear up. “I don’t want anything to happen to her. She’s still so tiny and fragile.”
“You think I want something to happen to her?” Peaches said.
“No, no. Not at all. I can see how close you are with her. You love her a lot. That’s why I was afraid to ask. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to steal her away.”
“It might not be a bad idea,” Robinson said. “She’s only a baby, after all. She can’t defend herself. And who knows what kinda trouble we might run into.”
Peaches took a step back. “No, I’m sorry. I’m not giving her up. We’ll be fine.”
“Maybe you should think about it,” I said.
Peaches gave me a look of abandonment, and then sauntered off down the dock.
“Wait here,” I said. “I’ll go have a talk with her.”
“I can’t believe you,” she said, as I walked up to her. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am on your side,” I replied. “Do you want anything to happen to Olivia? Do you want her to die out here?”
“Of course not. That’s not the point.”
“No, the point is she’s only a few weeks old. All this moving around isn’t good for her. She needs a more stable environment, don’t you think? Cathy and Brian might be able to provide that for her.”
“She had a stable environment, remember? Back at Ted’s house, when it was just you and I.”
“Um, do you recall what happened at Ted’s house? It wasn’t as safe as we thought.”
“It was a lot safer than here. And we could have found another house to stay at. It was your idea to leave.”
“I wanted to help Robinson find his son.”
“Jimmy, Robinson’s son is dead. We both know that.”
“Keep your voice down. You’re being unreasonable.”
“It’s the truth.”
I sighed. “Then why did you want to come?”
She hit me on the shoulder. “Why do you think, you asshole? I came because of you.” Tears began to build in her eyes. “I wanted us to be together. I would have gone wherever you asked me to. But now…”
“What?”
“Maybe I should just go back with Cathy and Brian.”
“No, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Then maybe you should come with me.”
I glanced back at the rest of the group, talking softly to one another, waiting for Peaches and I to finish arguing.
“I can’t,” I finally said, turning back to Peaches. “I care about them.”
“More than me?”
“No. But what you’re doing isn’t right. Don’t ask me to choose between you and them.”
“Why? That’s what you’re doing. Asking me to make a choice I don’t want to make.”
I put my arms around her. “Look, I want you to stay with me. I don’t want you to leave. But—”
“But you want her to leave,” she whispered, sobbing. “She’s like your d
aughter now, and you want to just give her up.”
“Only she’s not my daughter. And you’re wrong. I don’t want to give her up.” I pulled back, looked Peaches in the eyes. “I want to save her.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
“I’m not doing anything to you. I’m trying to do what’s right for her. I found her in that hospital. I saved her life. We both did. And since then, we’ve done the best job we could. But Peaches … she’s already come close to dying. How many times now? She deserves a little peace, don’t you think?”
“There is no peace in this world.”
“I think we should let her go. I think we should give her a chance at some kind of normal life. You see how happy Cathy is when she’s taking care of Olivia. She lost a daughter already. You saw the pain in her eyes when she told us about it. Don’t you see … we can help take some of that pain away.”
“But Olivia doesn’t belong to them.”
“She doesn’t belong to us, either.”
“She’s has my heart now. I can’t just make that go away.”
I hugged her again. Let her cry on my shoulder. After a minute, she pushed me off and handed Olivia over to me.
“You’re right. I’m not her mother. You found her. You make the decision.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“Maybe you should tell me how I’m supposed to be then.” She took a deep breath. “I understand what you’re saying. It’s dangerous. And I don’t want anything to happen to her. I would hate myself if something did. But I can’t help how I feel. I don’t want to lose her. I love her. I love you. I don’t know what else to say. You make the decision.”
“Why just me?”
“Because I can’t do it.”
“Are you gonna hate me if I give her away?”
Peaches stormed off, leaving the question hanging in the air.
I looked down at Olivia, contemplated the tough choice I now had to make. She stirred in my arms, came awake. “What am I gonna do with you, princess? Tell me what to do.”
Olivia looked up at me.
Beautiful. Perfect. Innocent.
But most of all, dependent. She couldn’t tell me what to do. Her life—her future—was in my hands. I had never felt such responsibility over another person. I could barely make decisions with my own life.
Dead Highways (Book 2): Passage Page 22