Know Me, Keep Me

by Barbara Gee

  “Yeah, that’ll definitely bring them out.” He put his hand on her leg, his eyes somber. “It’s a hassle, but you do get used to it.”

  “It’s part of his life, Jolene,” Kay said gently. “I think it’s good that you’re here with him during this time. Boone spent a few weeks at the ranch learning what your life is like, and now you’re getting the chance to see what his life entails. Last night was a high point—remember how that felt? Now, obviously the camera people are one of the not so good things, but they come with it. You’re a strong girl, though. I imagine it’ll take a lot more then flashing cameras to scare you off.”

  Jolene looked at Boone and raised her brows, her dark eyes warm. “That’s Kay’s very sweet way of telling me not to be a sniveling coward,” she said.

  Boone laughed. “I like it. Thanks, Kay. I think that went over a lot better coming from you than from me.”

  They finished their food, had another cup of coffee courtesy of the always attentive Alyssa, and then it was time for the Desmonds to head to the airport. Jolene and Boone had brought their bags as well. Their departure time wasn’t set in stone, but the plane was there waiting for them whenever they showed up, and it didn’t make sense to make a second trip into town. And this way, the Desmonds didn’t have to ride the shuttle.

  Boone insisted on paying the breakfast tab, and while they waited for the check, Virgil and Kay left to go get the carry-on bags they’d left at the front desk. Alyssa was hovering at the hostess booth when Boone and Jolene headed for the door, looking longingly at Boone but unable to get up the nerve to ask for an autograph. Jolene gave the girl a smile and tugged on his hand to stop him before he went out.

  “You took great care of us, Alyssa,” Jolene said. “Would you like me to take a photo of you and Boone before we leave?”

  The girls eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Seriously? Oh my gosh, I would love that.” She pulled her phone out of a pocket and brought up the camera, her hand shaking noticeably. She handed it to Jolene, then looked shyly up at Boone, afraid to step closer.

  He smiled and came to her side, putting his arm around her shoulders and smiling for the camera. Jolene had to step back to get them both in the frame due to the height difference, but the photo turned out great. Wow, Boone had a killer smile. Alyssa was going to have a lot of envious friends when she showed that photo around.

  The girl looked at the screen and broke into a huge grin. “Thank you so much!” she said, impulsively hugging Jolene. “Thanks, Boone. And congratulations on your comeback. It was a great game last night.”

  “Thanks for your support, Alyssa.”

  When they got outside, Jolene looked at him a little sheepishly. “I hope that was okay. She looked so forlorn when you walked by.”

  “Forlorn, huh?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. “Can’t have our server looking forlorn now, can we?”

  Jolene punched him lightly in the shoulder. His good one, not the one with the bullet wound. “Don’t tease. And thanks for making her day.”

  He bent down and kissed the top of her head. “Anything for you, babe.”

  “Mm, I like the sound of that.”

  He laughed and took her hand. “Let’s get the Desmonds and get out of here before you take pity on any more forlorn folk.”

  “Okay. And Boone? Just so you know—I’m not going to let the vulture photographers scare me off.”

  He grinned. “That’s my girl.”

  * * *

  The flight to Chicago was uneventful, but tense. Jolene tried to talk about mundane things to pass the time, but Boone wasn’t easily distracted. By the time they were cleared for landing, his leg was bouncing and his jaw was clenched. He looked out the window, but Jolene knew he wasn’t seeing anything. His mind was elsewhere.

  She took his hand between both of hers and held it tight, wishing the day was over and they were landing back in St. Paul. The wheels hit the tarmac and they braced themselves for the sudden slow-down.

  “I guess I should call Dad and tell him what time we’ll be there.”

  Jolene nodded. Boone had let Aaron know yesterday that they were coming today, but he hadn’t known the exact time. Aaron planned to be gone when they arrived, because he didn’t want to be present when Carla found out what he’d done. It was another cowardly move, but since Boone really didn’t want to see him anyway, he didn’t call him out on it. Plus, Boone was pretty sure it would be easier for Carla if he wasn’t around.

  Boone made the call, informing his dad they’d be there in about ninety minutes. They talked for a few seconds, then Boone hung up and let his head fall back against the headrest.

  Jolene raised her brows. “How did he sound?”

  “Terrible,” Boone said shortly.

  “I’m sorry. I wish I could make it all go away.”

  “I know.”

  The plane stopped taxiing and the co-pilot came out to let the stairs down.

  “We’ll be ready to head back whenever you are, sir. Just give us a two hour window, minimum.”

  “I’ll do that. Thanks for a good flight,” Boone said.

  “Our pleasure. Enjoy your day.”

  Boone’s smile was strained, but the pilot didn’t seem to notice. He cheerfully escorted them from the plane, then climbed back up the steps and pulled them back up so the plane could head for a hangar to await departure.

  Boone took Jolene’s hand and they went into the small building that serviced the private plane passengers. A rental car was waiting for them outside the front doors, and they were soon on their way.

  His tension continued to grow as they drove, and her heart ached for him. Also for Carla, whose life would never be the same after today. Jolene’s feelings toward Aaron were far more ambivalent, however. She knew it would be hard for a man his age to be incarcerated for a long period of time, and yet what he’d done was so heinous he deserved the severe punishment. He’d been a good father, but he’d had no right to the boy he’d raised as his own.

  Still, she knew Boone couldn’t simply turn off his feelings for the man who’d raised him, real father or not. He was angry, disappointed and disillusioned, but deep down he still loved the man, making this a doubly painful mission.

  Jolene leaned her head back against the seat, not at all interested in seeing the sights of Chicago whiz past her window. “I hate this, Boone. I wish I could tell you it’s going to be okay, but it’s probably going to take a while to get to that point. I wish you didn’t have to be the one to do this.”

  He glanced over at her, his eyes bleak. “I don’t even know where to start. There’s really no easy way to tell your mom that her husband paid to have her dead baby switched with a healthy one, and kept it a secret for almost three decades.”

  Jolene reached over and put her hand on his arm. “No easy way at all,” she agreed. “You just need to put it all out there, and then we’ll focus on helping her heal.”

  Boone sighed as he took a right turn. “The biggest question is how she’s going to respond to Dad going to prison. I have no idea if it’ll be for a year, or ten years, or even more. Part of me thinks Mom will want to live close to wherever he is and visit as often as possible, but then I can also see her being so angry and hurt that she doesn’t want to open that wound by seeing him so often. I don’t know, maybe when she realizes he isn’t the man she thought he was all these years, she’ll just want to be done with him altogether.”

  “What about you?” Jolene asked softly. “Are you going to want to visit him?”

  “I don’t know if I’ll want to, but I probably will. He doesn’t have anyone else, and I guess I feel like God would want me to keep in contact with him to some extent. Our relationship is a lot different now, but I still feel an obligation to him.”

  “I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” she told him.

  “He’s already preparing for the worst, I think. When I called, he said if Mom doesn’t want him to come home after I tell her, he’s prepared to stay at my c
ondo for a while.”

  “That’s good. If I were her, I’d definitely need some time apart.”

  “Yeah,” Boone said heavily. “Maybe a lot of time.”

  They had left the city behind a while ago, and were now entering a residential area with large older homes, all of them immaculate and on sizeable, heavily treed lots. Boone turned into a cul-de-sac and drove slowly all the way to the house at the very end. He pulled into the drive and parked in front of the garage, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

  “So this the house you grew up in?” Jolene asked, admiring the lovely brick home.

  “We moved here when I was three, so it’s the only one I remember.”

  “And the neighbor who first took you to the ice rink? Where did he live?”

  “Four houses down. Right at the beginning of the cul-de-sac, on the left. We spent most of our free time here, though. There’s a decent sized woods in back of our house, and we had forts and all that good stuff.” He gave her a rueful smile. “It was a great childhood. Only I should have been riding horses and climbing buttes.”

  “That would have been great, too, but you can’t change things now. I’m just glad you grew up happy. It would be so much worse if you’d been taken away from the Desmonds, and then subjected to a miserable childhood.”

  Boone removed his seatbelt and leaned over to press his mouth to hers, his hand warm on the side of her face. “I’m glad you’re here, Jo. I know it’s going to be awkward for you, but I’m happy for the moral support.”

  “I don’t care about awkward,” she said softly. “I want to be where you need me.”

  He managed a crooked smile. “Guess we might as well do this.” He got out and came around to open her door, holding out his hand and keeping a firm grip as they walked to the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited. After a moment they heard light footsteps approaching, then the heavy wooden door swung open.

  “Oh my word! Boone!” A petite woman emerged, beaming, her arms open wide. “What a wonderful surprise! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? It’s so good to see you, sweetheart.” She grabbed him and held him close. “We watched your game last night. My head is still a couple sizes too big.”

  “Hey, Mom.” He returned her welcoming hug, and it wasn’t until she finally let go and stepped back that Carla finally noticed Jolene standing behind him.

  “Oh my goodness, Boone, is this why you’re here?” If possible, her smile grew even wider. “Welcome, my dear,” she said, holding out a hand and drawing Jolene nearer. She turned back to Boone, her brows raised. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, sweetheart?”

  “Sure, Mom. This is Jolene Tolley.” He smiled at Jolene, then put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. “My girlfriend.”

  Carla clasped her hands together, obviously thrilled by that news. “You’re finally bringing a girl home to meet us? I was beginning to wonder if that day would ever come. It’s wonderful to have you both here, but if you’d told me you were coming, I could have made a nice lunch for us. How long can you stay? Your father left a while ago, and I’m not sure when he’ll be back. He was very vague about it.”

  “We’ll only be here a couple hours.” Boone cleared his throat. “I did want you and Jolene to meet, Mom, but the real reason I came is because I need to talk to you about something and I didn’t want to do it over the phone.”

  She looked at him sharply, the joy fading quickly from her light blue eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly. She saw the desolation in his eyes and pressed a hand to her heart. “Oh, Boone. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Can we go inside and sit down, Mom?” he asked gently.

  “Oh, yes, of course.” She stepped inside and they followed, Boone closing the door behind them. “We can go sit in the sunroom,” Carla said nervously, leading them to a door in the hallway which led to a large kitchen, then out another door to a cozy room with two walls of solid windows. The view was lovely, showing the immaculate back yard and the woods Boone had mentioned.

  Carla took a chair and motioned for them to sit in a cushioned wicker loveseat across from her. She looked at Boone, her face pinched with worry. “You have bad news,” she said knowingly. “Should we wait for your father to get home?”

  “No, Mom. I need to talk to you without him here.”

  She pressed the hand to her heart again but didn’t speak. Boone leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands between them.

  “I don’t know how to tell you this, Mom, so I guess I’ll just start at the beginning.”

  * * *

  Jolene listened silently as Boone told his mother why he was there, his voice so low and gentle, his big hands reaching out for hers when his words began to sink in and her chest began heaving with emotion and horror.

  “No, no, no,” Carla murmured over and over, pulling her hands from Boone’s grasp and covering her face as she shook her head in denial.

  Boone looked over at Jolene, his eyes devastated. She was wiping at the tears streaming down her cheeks, but she managed a watery smile and an encouraging nod. His chest rose on a sigh and he rubbed his eyes, then continued, not holding anything back. If anyone deserved to know every detail, it was Carla, and he didn’t want her to have to hear anything for the first time through the news media. When he finished she was crying quietly, her hands still over her face.

  Boone got up from his seat and knelt in front of her, pulling her against his chest, his cheek resting on the top of her head. She took fistfuls of his shirt and sobbed into him, her pain too much to hold inside. He just held her, letting her cry it out. Jolene hoped that even in her grief, some part of Carla’s psyche would comprehend the fact that her son was here with her now because he loved her as much as ever. Hopefully that continued love and support would be enough to help the broken woman eventually begin to heal.

  Long minutes passed. Carla’s sobbing gradually diminished, but it was a long time before she finally pushed away from the comfort of Boone’s arms. Her face was red and swollen, her eyes so full of pain that Jolene had to stifle a sob of her own.

  “What now, Boone?” Carla asked, her voice ragged. “I don’t know where things go from here. Where’s Aaron? Was he too much of a coward to face me?”

  “He and I agreed it would be best if he wasn’t here when I told you. He’s at my condo, and he’ll stay there as long as you want him to. He knows you might not want to see him right away.”

  “Oh he does, does he?” Carla uttered a hoarse, bitter laugh. “Well I don’t know that I’ll ever want to see him, Boone. What he did—stealing you away from parents who longed for you, who went home from the hospital and planned a funeral for my child, instead of having their own baby to love? It’s all so dreadful—I can’t begin to fathom how he could do it. And he says it was for me? Because I wasn’t strong enough to face the death of my baby?” She shook her head vigorously. “It wasn’t for me. We could have worked through our grief, we’d done it before. He just didn’t want to go to the trouble. He took the easy way out, and then justified it by saying it was for me. That’s baloney, and I think I hate him for it.”

  “I understand, Mom, I do. I’m not ready to see him, either. But I don’t want you here by yourself. I wish I could stay—”

  “You have a game tomorrow,” she interrupted. “I don’t want you to miss it. Your team needs you.” A tiny smile curved her lips. “You played brilliantly last night, Boone. I was so proud.” The smile left and a single sob shook her. “I’ll always be proud, no matter what. Even if you’re not my son by blood, and even if I have no right to call you that, you’ll always be mine in my heart. Always.”

  “I am your son. You’ve been a great mom, and you’ve given me a great life. I wouldn’t be playing the game I love without your dedication. You allowed me to be the player I am, Mom. You and only you, and I’ll be forever grateful.”

  “Such wonderful years,” she sai
d, stroking his cheek. “So many wonderful years. But they weren’t mine to have. How can I live with the guilt, Boone? How can I bear knowing I took what belonged to your real mother?” She closed her eyes and gave a low moan, her face falling against his shoulder. “You’re the love of my life, but you aren’t mine and she must hate me so much. So very, very much.”

  “No, Mom, she doesn’t. I promise you, she doesn’t.”

  Carla raised her head, and sat wearily back in her chair. “You only just met them yourself, right? How would you know how she feels about me?”

  “Because she told me,” Boone said, getting off his knees and resuming his seat beside Jolene.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Boone looked over at Jolene. “Can you tell her about Virgil and Kay, Jo? You know them much better than I do, tell her what they’re like, and what Kay said just this morning.”

  When Boone spoke to Jolene, Carla looked quickly at the woman her son had introduced as his girlfriend, her apologetic gaze revealing that she’d forgotten all about her.

  “Jolene,” she said, “I’m so sorry about all this. I wish we could have met under better circumstances.”

  “Please don’t apologize, Mrs. Kendall,” Jolene said, hardly able to bear that in spite of everything, Carla felt bad about her lack of hospitality.

  “I needed her to be here, Mom,” Boone explained. “I know this is hard for you, but it’s been hard on me, too, and without Jolene I’m not sure where I’d be right now.”

  Carla nodded slowly. “I understand, Boone. I’m just so ashamed. What Aaron did—it’s unforgivable. How can I ever face your real parents? And yet I have to, because I have to apologize face to face. It’s the right thing to do. Whatever they have to say to me, I’ll take, because they have every right to hate us.”

  Jolene smiled warmly at the other woman. “But Boone is right, Mrs. Kendall. They don’t hate you, not at all. They know you’re as innocent as Boone in all of this.” Jolene proceeded to tell Carla about Virgil and Kay. She assured Carla that even though they’d never had another child, the Desmonds were surrounded by plenty of love, and in spite of the sadness of losing their baby so many years ago, they were the most loving, caring, and giving people she knew.