by Lea Coll
He was quiet for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. “My high school girlfriend died in a car accident. I’d always believed it was my fault.”
He’d said it matter-of-factly, but pain tinged his tone.
I sucked in a sharp breath.
His body tensed as if anticipating a blow. “That night, I’d met her at the mall when she got off work. We drove separately. I thought it would be fun to race home. I dared her to do it.”
He shook his head, his expression disgusted. He was quiet for so long I wasn’t sure he’d continue.
I remained quiet, waiting for him to go on.
“We each took a different route home except when I got to her house, she wasn’t there. She never showed up.”
Laying a hand on his arm, my heart ached to comfort him.
He didn’t acknowledge my touch. “She was speeding. The police tried to pull her over, but instead of slowing down, she sped up. She lost control of her car, hitting a tree. The police said she died on impact.”
Had he been holding this inside since? I couldn’t imagine bearing the weight of that guilt.
“You blamed yourself.” This was what he’d been hiding. This was why I never felt like I had all of him. He’d held himself back from me. Did he think he wasn’t worthy of me? That he wasn’t deserving of happiness? My heart skipped in my chest. I couldn’t get ahead of myself. I needed to protect myself and the baby from him until I was sure of what he was saying.
He looked at me, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “That’s why I don’t want—I didn’t want kids. I wasn’t prepared the other night.”
I laughed without any humor, remembering the pain of him walking out. “I’m not prepared to be pregnant either, but I’ll figure it out.”
“I didn’t think I’d be good for a kid. A child would depend on me.” He fell silent.
“What happened was horrible, but she was the one speeding, she was the one who chose to go faster when she saw the cops.”
“It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t dared her.”
“You were a kid. Yeah, you made a bad choice, but so did she. You have to forgive yourself. Give yourself permission to make better choices going forward, to be happy. I doubt she’d want you to be miserable. Or to walk away from your child.”
“That’s what everyone keeps saying.” His voice was resigned.
Were we getting through to him, or would he always be thinking this one mistake dictated his entire life? “Maybe you should take their advice. You deserve to be happy.”
“You think I deserve someone as good as you?” His expression was so vulnerable.
Tears pricked my eyes. I couldn’t answer because the man who walked out on me was different than the guy I’d gotten to know.
“I’m sorry I overreacted the other night.”
“I understand why you did. Thank you for telling me.” It solidified what I’d suspected all along. There was something or someone holding him back from relationships. I just hadn’t realized it affected him this much.
“Is that why you went back home?”
“I thought her parents blamed me. I needed to talk to them. To get some closure. I went to the gravesite. They were there. They told me they were angry at first and blamed me. They said it was easier to blame someone else for what happened. But after a while, they went to therapy and realized their daughter made her own choices that night. I never knew she wasn’t wearing a seat belt. The cops said if she had been, her head wouldn’t have hit the windshield. I don’t understand it because she always wore her seat belt.”
“You’ll probably never know why.” Second-guessing that night was tearing himself up inside.
“The Reynolds were able to let go of the anger and get some peace.”
“Do you think you can let go of the guilt?” I saw the situation with clarity now. He couldn’t be there for us if he was harboring guilt for his past decisions. It was tainting everything around him. He was sabotaging his happiness because he didn’t think he deserved it.
“I’m trying. I think I should talk to someone about it.” He looked so vulnerable, I wanted to reach out and touch him.
“Like a therapist?”
“My past is standing in the way of me being there for you and our baby. I’ll do anything to be there for you both.”
My heart picked up at our baby.
“Can we start over?” His tone was hopeful.
“Like, hi, I’m Callie Goodwin?” I wished I’d washed my face or brushed my hair.
His expression was serious. “Maybe start with I’m pregnant. I wouldn’t want to erase anything else that happened between us.”
Was it that simple? Could we erase that moment when he’d reacted so horribly and walked out? I understood why he did it. I closed my eyes, remembering the man I fell in love with—the one who vowed to make me a priority in his life. “I’m pregnant.”
Blood rushed to my head. I was standing on a precipice, taking a chance on him. Handing him my heart and hoping he would protect it.
“May I?” He held his hand out as if to touch my belly.
Leaning back on the couch, I nodded.
I bit my lip as he pressed his hand to my still flat stomach. “You’re really pregnant.”
His tone was filled with awe. I’d had a bit more time to get used to the idea.
“According to the tests we got at the pharmacy. They’re supposed to be pretty accurate.” I’d researched to make sure. False positives weren’t common.
“Are you happy?” His gaze rested on me.
“I was shocked at first, but now that I’ve had time to think about it, I am. This baby will be my family, someone to love unconditionally. Maybe I’m too young, not established enough in my career to raise a child, but sometimes the best things are unexpected.”
The truth of that statement curled around my heart.
“Everything, since you came into my life, has been the best kind of unexpected. I love you, Callie. I love our baby. I want to be part of this family.” His hand rested on my stomach, the warmth seeping through my shirt into my skin.
A part of me was screaming yes, but the other part, the logical, reasonable part wondered if he’d walk away again. “Will you leave if things get tough or you get overwhelmed?”
I had to know his answer. Everything hinged on it—my present, our future.
His face pinched. “I won’t. I won’t let my past dictate my future anymore. I want to be with you. I want this baby. But I understand you need time. I hope you’ll give me time to show you I’ve changed.”
He’d gone to his hometown, spoken to the Reynolds, he’d said he wanted to see a therapist. He was doing what he needed to do to move on. He was showing me that our baby and I were a priority.
He moved his hand away, standing. His gaze uncertain, he took a few steps back. “Let me know if you need anything. If it’s okay, I’d like to come to the doctor’s appointments.”
He turned and walked out.
My heart pounded in my head. What was I doing? Was I willing to let him walk out that door thinking that I hadn’t already forgiven him? That the moment he told me his past, his reality, my heart broke for him? He bore the weight of that guilt his entire adult life. He thought he didn’t deserve love, me, or our child.
Was there anything more heartbreaking than that?
I wanted to give him everything he’d never allowed himself. “Jonah, wait.”
I stood and ran to the door, throwing it open. Tearing down the hallway, I came to an abrupt stop a few feet away from him.
His expression was subdued. He didn’t expect me to forgive him.
“I forgive you.”
He tilted his head to the side like he’d heard wrong. “You do?”
“Of course. I love you.”
“Are you sure?”
I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around his neck. “That’s what love is, taking you as you are, your past, your flaws, everything. I’m willing to hel
p you work through it if you are.”
He opened his mouth, but I placed a finger over his lips. “But if you ever act like you did the other night—walking away without telling me what’s going on―I won’t give you another chance.”
“I get that.”
He squeezed me tight, burying his head in my neck. “I didn’t think I deserved you.”
“You deserve everything.”
He pulled back. “I love you so much.”
“I love you.”
Something seemed to snap inside him when I declared my love for the second time. He crushed his lips to mine. Relief coursed through me. He was here. I wouldn’t have to do this on my own. We’d be a family.
Epilogue
JONAH
I couldn’t believe she was here in my arms. I’d never take her for granted again. I’d prove to her every day that I loved her, I wanted to be here for her.
Callie worked hard to make sure Rebel Sports was running smoothly. She worked with Ava to fix the issues with the website, proving to Reid she was more than a capable manager. The fall sports season was in full swing, and Callie was already planning instructional clinics for the spring sports with former pro athletes. Ava helped her to build online buzz and generate interest to field more than enough athletes for the leagues. Callie was worried she wouldn’t be able to keep up when she had the baby, but Reid hired more people to assist her.
She turned over, her belly seemingly growing bigger each day. I couldn’t resist covering it with my hand. I tried to imagine what our baby would look like—would he have brown hair and tan skin like me or be blond and fair like Callie?
My heart tripped over itself at the idea of a little boy or girl with Callie’s blonde hair and sweet smile. Either way, I imagined teaching them how to throw a football, carrying them on my shoulders, tickling them until they giggled. I was so lucky.
Callie’s hand circled my wrist, a smile playing on her lips. “Will I always wake with your hand on my stomach?”
She was finally in my bed every night because she’d recently moved out of her apartment, splitting time with me between my condo in the city and my house on the river.
I smiled. “Just until he or she’s born.”
“Are you okay not knowing the sex until birth?”
“I’m happy with whatever you want.” That was true, but there was one thing that was making me edgier each day.
“Everything?” She cocked a brow.
I took a deep breath. I was waiting for the right moment, but I’d told her I loved her spontaneously, maybe that was the best approach. “Not everything. I want to make you mine before the baby comes.”
“I am yours.”
We’d helped Frank move into his new place a few months ago. He was lucid and Callie was getting something from the car, so I took the opportunity to ask him for his blessing to marry her. He teared up when he admitted he’d been worried about leaving her alone. He’d clasped my shoulder tightly, then said having me in her life, knowing I would take care of her, eased his mind. Knowing I had his support was everything.
I leaned over, kissing her. “It might be old-fashioned, but I want you to be Mrs. Jonah Templeton before our baby’s born.”
I wanted Frank to attend the wedding too.
She opened her mouth as if to respond, her expression wary.
“I don’t want to marry you because you’re pregnant.” I thought back to that moment when I told her I loved her for the first time in front of everyone―my family, a stadium full of people, and viewers at home. If she hadn’t told me she was pregnant, I still would have wanted to be with her forever.
“I knew you were the one before we made this baby. I knew you were the one when I said I loved you.” There was a flutter under my hand.
We both stilled.
“Was that a kick?” I looked at her in wonder.
She bit her lip. “Yeah, they’re getting stronger.”
At first, she said it felt like bubbles or popcorn popping. “He or she’s so strong.”
“Just like you.”
“And you. Callie Goodwin, will you marry me. Will you be my family?”
Tears glistened in her eyes.
“Will you let me take care of you, our babies, and our family for the rest of my life?”
She nodded, tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry. These hormones are the worst.”
I kissed her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “I love you more than I ever thought possible. Yet, it feels like it could still get bigger, like it knows no bounds, it’s limitless.”
Our love was endless. Tingles erupted over my skin. This was happiness. This was acceptance. I loved her, our baby, and this life we were building together one step at a time.
She touched my cheek. “I feel the same way.”
“What do you say, will you marry me, Calliope?” My throat felt tight.
“Yes. I’d love to.”
I kissed her, rolling her to her back, reaching over her to pull open the nightstand drawer. I’d kept the ring close, waiting for this moment.
I shifted to my knees, opening the velvet box. I slid the ring on her finger. “There. Now it’s official.”
She held her hand up, admiring the way the light reflected off the facets of the diamond. “It was official long before this ring or our baby.”
“Yes. Now you’re getting it.” I laid down, pulling her back to her side. She couldn’t rest on her back for long.
I rested my hand on her hip. “Thank you for falling for me.”
“You made it so easy.” Her smile was light and easy, her skin glowing from the pregnancy, the engagement, or both.
My throat tightened. “You helped me be the man I was supposed to be.”
Her expression turned serious. “You did that on your own.”
I’d never get enough of her support or her love. I leaned down, kissing her lips lightly. I’d never get enough of her touch, her support, her essence.
I never thought I deserved a future filled with hope and happiness. Callie showed me I deserved everything, and I’d spend the rest of my life proving it to her.
I hope you loved Jonah and Callie’s story! Read more about their happily ever after in this bonus epilogue. Ava’s story is next in Waiting for You. Ava Breslin never thought her childhood crush and best friend’s older brother would return home after medical school. Suddenly he’s everywhere—living in her bed and breakfast, working at a local hospital, and playing his electric cello for his patients. He’s all grown up, and impossible to resist.
About the Author
Lea Coll worked as a trial attorney for over ten years. Now she stays home with her three children, plotting stories while fetching snacks and running them back and forth to activities. She enjoys the freedom of writing romance after years of legal writing.
She currently resides in Maryland with her family.
Get two free novellas when you sign up for Lea’s newsletter.
Check out Lea’s books on her website.
Books by Lea Coll
All I Want Series
Choose Me
Be with Me
Burn for Me
Trust in Me
Stay with Me
Take a Chance on Me
Annapolis Harbor Series
Hooked on You (previously titled Easy Moves)
Only with You
Lost without You
Perfect for You
Crazy for You
Falling for You
Waiting for You
Mountain Haven Series
Infamous Love
Adventurous Love
Impulsive Love
Quick Snap Novellas
Lucky Catch
Trick Play
Download two free novellas, Swept Away and Worth the Risk, when you sign up for her newsletter.
To learn more about her books, please visit her website.
lling for You: A Forbidden Office Romance (Annapolis Harbor Book 5)