After breakfast, Liddie brought Rose’s rocking chair into the kitchen. “You can rock your baby while I bake bread.”
“Me bake, too.” Rose ran to the cupboard.
The enthusiasm on Rose’s face made the little girl look so much like Joe that Liddie caught her breath. With Rose, she knew she’d always have Joe close by.
“Not this time, Rosie. Sometime I’ll teach you to make bread just like your daddy liked.” She handed the child a wooden spoon and pan. “Today, you make something with your baby, okay?”
That satisfied the child, and Liddie threw herself into the familiar task. Mixing the bread made her feel better than she had in weeks. She relaxed into the rhythm of kneading the dough, the first batch she had made since she came down with the flu. Outside to inside. Outside to inside. The more she worked at it, the stronger she felt, the clearer she thought.
Outside to inside. She could still sew and make photographs. Outside to inside. She could manage the farm, with Amelia or on her own. Outside to inside. She had lost Joe, but she had not lost everything.
By the time Rose was ready to go down for her nap, the yeasty warm smell of baking bread filled the kitchen. Joe had loved that smell. She remembered how often he’d come walking in the door the moment she pulled loaves out of the oven. They’d laugh about how he could smell bread baking from anywhere on the farm. Then they’d sit together and eat the heels off a hot loaf. Liddie rubbed tears away with the back of her hand.
After she tipped the loaves out of the pans to cool, she cut both heels off one loaf, slathered a thick layer of butter on each crusty slice, and wrapped them in a towel. Assured Rose was still asleep, Liddie put on her coat, slid the towel and bread into her pocket, and walked down the hill to the barn. Inside the barn, she stopped to breathe in the familiar warmth of the animals in their stalls. Then she climbed up to the haymow.
Ice crystals glittered on the rafters like stars in the night sky. Liddie could see her breath as she picked her way to the south end of the haymow. She swung open the door that afforded their favorite view of the farm.
She sat down in a mound of hay, surrounded by the smell of alfalfa, as she surveyed the length and breadth of the farm. This was where Joe had asked her to marry him. This was where they came to make up after spats. This was where he liked to talk about his plans for the farm. This was where he drew her down onto his lap and they talked about the children they would have and the parties they would throw. Where they talked about their future. Together.
The December scene offered no green pasture, no lush crops, no leaves on the trees. And Joe was not there by her side drawing the future with his fingertips and his words. Liddie’s gut twisted as she thought of him, feeling the hands that would not touch her again, looking into the hazel eyes she would never see again, listening for the laugh she would never hear again.
If she had known she would have Joe for only two years, if she had known she would have this pain when he died, if she had known she would have to face the future alone with a baby, would she have chosen a different path? No, she would not. Joe had helped her see clearly the things that mattered most to her. Friends. Family. The land. And of course she was not alone. She was with the people and in the place that was home.
Liddie drew the towel out of her coat pocket and unfolded it on her lap. The butter had melted into the bread, but the two crusty heels retained a small bit of warmth. She bit into one slice and savored the fresh-baked bread as crumbs fell on her coat and tears welled in her eyes. Bite by bite, she ate the first slice. A slice for Joe. Then she bit into the second slice. A slice for her.
Acknowledgments
A novel is born as the result of the efforts of a great many people. I am indebted to all those who supported me in writing Go Away Home.
Many served as historical resources for information about life in the early twentieth century. I owe a debt of gratitude to Donald Wentworth, who was as close as I came to having a research assistant to dig out historical details about Jackson County; to Roger Kilberg, who shared rich stories of party line telephones and their importance to farm families; and to my uncle, Mahlon Denter, who confirmed the realities of growing up on a farm pre-electricity.
The manuscript benefited immeasurably from the input of workshop leaders and participants at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival, beta readers in my own book club and the Crows Reading Prose book club; fellow writers of historical fiction, and Jenny Toney Quinlan.
Special thanks to my writing partner, Mary Gottschalk, whose dedication to writing and insightful reading and indefatigable ability to stay at the keyboard inspired me.
It was an indescribable joy to hear from Jodi Warshaw, senior acquisition editor for Lake Union Publishing, who wanted to bring Go Away Home into the Amazon Publishing fold and to help ensure the story reached the widest possible audience. Many thanks to Amara Holstein and Kirsten Colton, who edited these pages with insight and a desire to help me make the story shine.
Finally, thanks to my son, Lance, who never stops believing in me, and to my husband, David, who served as consultant on all things farm-related, helped me noodle out male reactions, and constantly cheered me on. I love you both.
Author’s Note
Go Away Home was inspired by my maternal grandparents. Even as a young child, I knew that my grandfather died of the Spanish Influenza in 1918, and I was always fascinated by my connection to that major world event. Yet even though my grandmother lived until I was in my twenties, I never asked her a single question about him or their lives together.
In the course of family history discussions, my mother provided names, dates, and places of some events and passed along family lore, yet I had no sense of the truth of these stories or the motivation for any particular event. As a result, the novel is entirely fiction. But fiction based on facts.
When Kodak introduced the Brownie box camera in 1900, making photography available to the masses, my grandmother acquired one. I was fortunate to have the many pictures she took of life in the early 1900s to inspire my thinking and stories.
Research was an integral part of my writing process, leading me to story lines about photography, the attitudes and actions on the home front during the war, and the impact of the influenza pandemic.
Since I grew up on a family farm in the 1950s, I have a good sense of farm life, though I enjoyed the benefits of tractors, cars, and electricity. I was aided in my understanding of farming and life for farm women before those conveniences by the interpreters at Living History Farms in Des Moines and through conversations with my uncle, who has vivid memories of farm life pre-electricity.
Since I chose to set much of the action in Maquoketa, the county seat of Jackson County, Iowa, I felt a particular obligation to be true to the geography of the area and layout of the town. The Jackson County Historical Society provided a fire department plat map of the city, which was useful not only in locating businesses but also in understanding the vitality of the town at that time.
The Des Moines Public Library offered up copies of Ladies’ Home Journal from the period for information about women’s fashions and how women were encouraged to support the war effort. President Woodrow Wilson enlisted Iowan and future president Herbert Hoover to head the Food Administration, which developed guidelines encouraging Americans to demonstrate their patriotism by voluntarily observing “wheatless” Mondays and Wednesdays, “meatless Tuesdays,” and “sweetless Saturdays.” Issues of Studio Light, a Kodak publication for professional photographers in the early 1900s, was an invaluable resource about studios and darkrooms of that time.
The population of Iowa draws heavily from Germany and other northern European countries. Until the Great War, those native languages were still widely spoken throughout the state. The effect of Iowa governor William L. Harding’s “law” on moving the state to speak only English is documented by Nancy Rugh Derr in her article “The Babe
l Proclamation” published in the Palimpsest in 1979. Iowa Public Television offers a wealth of information on Iowa in World War I through “Iowa Pathways” on the IPTV website (www.iptv.org/iowapathways/mypath.cfm?ounid=ob_000259).
Information about the Spanish Influenza in Iowa, including symptoms, remedies, and deaths, was gleaned from reports of the Iowa State Board of Health and the Des Moines Register. A valuable resource for understanding the influenza pandemic on a broader scale was The Great Influenza by John M. Barry.
I value research and have attempted to treat the historical record with respect. Any errors are solely my responsibility.
Go Away Home
Reader Discussion Guide
As a teenager in the early twentieth century, Liddie sees very few career options available for women. Housewife. Teacher. Seamstress. How do these differ from the options you saw when you were sixteen? What factors contributed to her having such a narrow view?
One theme of the book is women’s ability to make their own choices. Two women—Aunt Kate and Mrs. Tinker—have careers they arrived at via different routes. What limitations did Kate’s choice never to marry and Mrs. Tinker’s position as a widow place on them? Would either woman have had the same success if she’d been married? How did you react to the advice these women give Liddie?
Liddie found a passion for photography. What do you think about her chances to be happy on the farm if she did not take up photography again?
Places hold special significance for Liddie—the grove, the haymow. Discuss the importance of place in your life.
Liddie struggles to balance jobs, family, and personal interests. Women today struggle with the same issues. What made this balancing act more or less of a challenge in 1918 than it is today?
What challenges will Liddie face in keeping a farm? How realistic is it for her to try to run a farm? How willing would you be to try such a course of action?
Honesty and openness can be critical to all relationships. Why does Liddie feel more free to share with some people than others? What prevents her from sharing openly?
What did you think about Liddie’s two different decisions about marriage? Did they make sense to you? Why or why not?
Liddie initially resists familial and societal expectations to marry, yet ultimately decides to marry. How much of her decision was a function of the times and how much was a function of the relationship itself?
At one point, Liddie considers what constitutes love and how important it is to a marriage. Have you reflected on the importance of love in marriage, and if so, what was your conclusion?
What was the relationship between Margretta and G. W.? Both daughters appear to reject their parents’ wishes and attitudes about marriage. Why do you think they did?
After Liddie decides to marry, Mrs. Tinker questions her making two very rapid decisions. Have you ever made a spur-of-the-moment decision about a serious topic? What was the outcome?
Death strikes three times. Liddie deals with the loss differently each time. What contributes to these different reactions? If you’ve faced the death of a loved one, what helped you through the grief? How might the deaths of three people so close to Liddie affect her future?
In the lead-up to World War I, Americans were urged to be patriotic, to “Buy American.” How are things different from or similar to that now?
During World War I, the patriotism of German immigrants was questioned. Japanese immigrants were targeted during World War II. Middle Eastern immigrants have been questioned during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Why do we repeat this pattern?
About the Author
Photo © 2014 Wendy Musgrave
Carol Bodensteiner grew up in the heartland of the United States, and she continues to draw writing inspiration from the people, places, culture, and history of the area. She is the author of Growing Up Country: Memories of an Iowa Farm Girl, a memoir about growing up in the middle of the United States in the middle of the twentieth century. Her essays have been published in several anthologies. Go Away Home is her first novel.
She enjoys hearing from readers, so don’t hesitate to be in touch. You can reach her via:
Her website:
www.carolbodensteiner.com
Twitter:
@CABodensteiner
Facebook:
www.facebook.com/CarolBodensteinerAuthor
Goodreads:
www.goodreads.com/author/show/1323422.Carol_Bodensteiner
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