by J A Fielding
“If you feel you must leave, I understand.” he said, with a heavy heart. “But I want you to know that you are so much more than the 'paper-pusher' you made yourself out to be on Friday.” He continued, “For one thing, you are a wonderful lover. But, so much more than that, you are a passionate human being and I see in you the same thing that you saw in my home today: potential. But that's all I'm gonna say. It's up to you to decide how you want to live your life.”
She sighed and buttoned the last button on her blouse. She walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to gather up the papers that she had so carelessly discarded earlier. Mike followed. He produced a new business card from his pocket and handed it to her.
“I know you already have my number, but I want you hang on to this. I want you to see that I was once in your shoes. I was being suffocated by the daily grind of a miserable job that I didn't really want to be doing, until one day I saw the light. It finally dawned on me that if I wanted to go for something better, then it was simply a matter of standing up and reaching for what it was that I wanted. As the famous saying goes, 'Be the change you wish to see in the world.' If you want to live a better life, then there is no time like the present to begin your journey. That is, if you are willing to take it.”
Taunya felt dizzy. Having someone read her so clearly and truly as Mike was doings made her feel more exposed than when her clothes were lying in a heap on the floor.
“It's not that simple,” she said. “I have ties. I have responsibilities. I have rent to pay and I have a life to keep up. Someone like you can't really understand where I'm coming from. You live in the lap of luxury and want for nothing. I still need to eat.”
Mike shrugged his shoulders and sighed, “It was not always like this for me. There were plenty of times when I fell on my ass and thought I would never make it. But I never gave up. The only reason I have all of this is because of my determination and drive to want more and better in my life. These are things that you can have too, if you truly want it. And it's not just about money. It's about your happiness and sense of self-worth. When I saw you singing at the bar on Friday night, I could feel the pain in your voice. Just talking to you, I could tell right away that all you crave is to find inner peace and happiness in your life. Stability is nice, but it is holding you back.”
She nodded. He was right. But she didn't dare look him in the eye as he spoke to her and told her everything that she already knew about herself but was too afraid to admit. She walked over to the door.
“I know you're right, Mike. Really, I do. But I'm afraid I could lose everything if I were to take such a big risk. I have no safety net.” she said.
He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.
“Promise me that you will hang on to my card. And call me if you like. I could be your safety net.”
She smiled and he held the door open for her. She looked over her shoulder as she stepped into the elevator and he smiled back. Once inside the elevator, tears formed in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. How could she have been such a fool? She had blown her chance at a potential new job and, furthermore, had blown her chance with a wonderful man. Never had she felt such consideration from a man before. She saw a difference in Mike from any other relationship that she'd attempted to have. James – among others – had only wanted to use her for sex and, being naïve and malleable, she had let him. Mike, however, saw into her soul and the very depths of her innermost desires and needs. And he wanted to fulfill her if she would let him. She tried to shake this thought out of her head, but It stuck in her mind all the way back home. She contemplated stopping by Control for a quick drink, but decided it would be best to head home and prepare for work the next day. After all, if she was going to remain in the rut she had created for herself, she had to ensure that said rut would still be there for her on Monday morning.
Once home, she removed her clothing and tossed it in her laundry hamper. She took a quick shower to wash the smell of sex off of her, but the impression that Mike had left on her remained deep in her psyche. She tried to focus on work, but it was no use. She would just have to come in early the next day and finish up then. She eschewed the wearing of her usual penguin pajamas and draped the covers over her nude body, savoring the feeling of the soft fabric against her skin. She tossed and turned, agonizing over the events of the afternoon, but found herself stuck on the lingering sensation of Mike's cock deep inside her. She was not sore, but her heart was pained with insecurity. She finally fell asleep an hour or so later and began to dream.
She was lying on Mike's silky sheet covered bed with the lights dimmed low. She was wearing the same black lace lingerie set that she had been wearing when she was caught in bed with James. It was still moist and clung to her body uncomfortably. She writhed and wriggled, trying to get it off of her, but it dug in to her skin and she could not escape. She gave up fighting and examined her surroundings, wondering if there was anyone else there with her.
“Hello?” she called out.
She was getting tired of hearing no answer every time she found herself in a dreamland.
“ANSWER ME, GODDAMMIT!” she shouted, her frustration escalating.
Still nothing. She heard a noise from the corner and squinted her eyes to see Mike standing before her in his black boxer briefs and nothing else. Hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it away so that he could better see her. He walked towards the bed, arms reached out and pulled on her bra strap. It stuck hard to her skin but he pulled again, refusing to back down. With a ripping sound, he had managed to remove the entire bra from her body and reached down to pull off her panties too. Taunya looked down at herself to see blood pouring out of her chest in an underwire shape along her breasts. She screamed and scooted back on the bed out of Mikes reach. He let go of her panties and faded into the abyss. She covered her chest with her hands and curled up into a ball, crying. She was ashamed and frightened, but most of all, she was in a great deal of pain. The blood would not stop gushing and it pooled in her arms until she was covered in it. She grasped at the sheets, trying to cover herself up and maybe stop the blood, but it soaked right through.
“HELP!” she screamed.
But there was no one there to help her. The false world began to swirl around her and she felt as dizzy as she had when she was standing in Mike's condo earlier. She crawled over to a bedpost and tried to hang on for dear life as the bed began to spin out of control. She felt as if she was trapped inside of a miserable, bloody hurricane and she cried out once more only to hear no answer.
Taunya startled awake and looked down at her bare chest. Her body remained in tact, but her mind was still spinning out of control. She looked at the clock, which read four in the morning and she cried slightly, hugging the covers to her and curling up in fright. Would she never be able to let go of her past? Would she ever be able to see her way clear to a better future?
Chapter 6
Taunya awoke to the alarm on her cell phone blaring right next to her head. It was half past nine in the morning and she had severely overslept. 'Fuck!' she yelled inwardly. This was not the start to her Monday that she needed. Far from it. She did not have time to sit there and continue to agonize over the horrible dream she'd woken from on in the middle of the night. It was time to get to work and hope that she still had a job by the time she slipped into the office to sit behind her desk – all but shackled to it – for yet another day. She untangled herself from her sheets and nearly fell out of bed, racing to wash up and pull together some semblance of an appropriate outfit for the workplace. She almost didn't lock the door behind her as she hurried to her car and sped off to work.
Once insider her office, she tried her best to be stealthy at getting over to her desk but was headed off at the pass by an inquisitive Gina.
“So, you're over an hour late...did you get that 'job' you were telling me about?” she said with a wink.
Though Gina was on to something, Taunya was fuming at her insinuation. She just wan
ted to get to her desk and start on her endless pile of work before anyone else noticed that she had not gotten in on time. She also desperately wanted a cup of coffee, but knew that it was too risky to let anyone else see her before she had made at least an attempt to look like she was working. Gina stood in front of her with her arms folded, tapping one foot and looking far too impatient to be ignored.
“No, Gina. I just overslept. Please just let me get my day started.” she replied.
“Girl, I can smell that stank all over you. Don't you try to lie to me.” Gina insisted.
“Gina, even if anything had happened – and I'm not saying it did – why on earth would I waste my time standing here and telling you all about it? I have work to do and you're a gossip.” she said.
Taunya turned red and shoved past Gina to get to her desk. She felt trapped by both her job and Gina's accusatory words at that moment and all she wanted to do was to escape the hell she had inadvertently managed to create for herself that morning. 'Fuck Mondays.' she thought to herself. She finally reached her desk to find a stack of forms with a note attached to it that read:
ENTER INTO THE SYSTEM ASAP
Just great. Her day had barely started and already she was swamped with a heavy dose of data entry. It appeared that she was not the only one who had not arrived in a timely manner that morning as one of her temps was missing from their desk. She figured that the flake was lined up to be fired if she hadn't been already, leaving her to pick up the slack as usual. She sighed a heavy sigh, sorted the paperwork, turned on her computer, and began typing for what would turn into a multitude of hours.
By lunch time, Taunya's fingers felt nearly arthritic and she was starving, having missed breakfast and having had no time to put together a lunch for herself to bring. She decided that she might have to make move that was out of the ordinary and actually leave her desk for the short designated half hour in which she was allotted time to eat. She put her computer to sleep and got up to go to the kitchen. Gina was standing there, sipping a cup of coffee and eating a turkey sandwich. 'Fuck.' Taunya thought for the second time that day. She knew that she would have to apologize for her nasty behavior earlier, but was regretting the inevitable questions with which Gina would want to badger her for the rest of their lunch break. She poured herself a cup of coffee and walked over to her friend, trying to look as genuinely apologetic as possible.
“Look, Gina, I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning. My behavior was inappropriate and I apologize. I was just running late and stressing.” she offered to her still hurt-looking friend.
Gina shrugged in reply and rolled her eyes. She hated having to deal with Taunya's constant mood swings. All Gina wanted to do was to be her friend, but Taunya never seemed to want to let her – or anybody else – in.
She breathed heavily and replied, “I forgive you. But are you going to tell me what the hell went on this weekend? I know you weren't telling me the truth earlier. I can see it in your eyes.”
She decided it was time to come clean, and, as the two ladies talked, intaking much more caffeine than was absolutely necessary, Taunya felt her phone buzzing in her pants pocket. She continued to gulp down copious amounts of espresso, knowing that she would regret it later. She looked down at her phone to find a text from Mike, which read:
Look, I'm sure that you're not interested in seeing where this goes but I would be remiss if I didn't at least give it a shot and ask you. Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Taunya was dumbstruck at her reaction and Gina was too. Taunya was grinning – in her words – “like an idiot” and didn't seem to know how to make it stop. It seemed that Mike was not going to give up on her so easily. A man who had all that he did certainly did not get to the place where he was by giving up and Taunya felt a glimmer of hope as she held the phone in her hands and read and re-read his words to her.
“So are you going to text him back or what?” Gina asked.
Taunya looked down at her phone, her smile ceasing to fade.
“I guess I will.” she said. She typed back:
Dinner sounds good to me.
It was all up to him now. Had he simply been playing her? Or was he actually interested? She didn't have much time to worry about figuring out the answer when she got a text back from him to confirm a time and place for that evening. He offered to pick her up from her place and, not thinking much about it, she accepted. Her Monday was beginning to look up.
She raced back to her desk and nearly spilled her half full cup of coffee all over her keyboard. Luckily, she caught her clumsy self before she was able to do any real damage. She typed furiously as she counted down the hours until she was free from her tasks and able to get home and spruce up before Mike arrived. Her day was dragging on, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel that she could see and she was consistently and thoroughly motivated all the way up until it was time to get off. She shut down her computer and grabbed her coat, rushing to get to her assigned parking space and then rushing on home.
She was a nervous wreck as she threw outfit after outfit onto her bed. That is, until she remembered that Mike had already seen her naked, and she him. She laughed to herself. This was indeed highly unusual, but perhaps it was time for a positive change in her lifestyle. She settled on a short dress that zipped up the back. It was red with a black flower pattern and cut low in the front. The skirt flared out to reveal her long legs and she chose a pair of black pumps to compliment the look. She pulled her braids into a low ponytail, which she let hang down her back. She put on a small amount of makeup and studied herself in the mirror, wondering what it was that Mike saw in her. She finished off with red lipstick just in time to hear her doorbell ring. She had figured that he might just call her from his car outside, but he proved himself to be a true gentleman. She opened the door and there he stood looking better than ever. He wore a dark grey suit with a small pinstripe pattern running through it and a grey shirt underneath topped off with a black tie.
“I'd have you come in, but my place is a mess,” she lied. She was afraid that if she let him into her home that they would never make it to dinner. All she had on her mind was fucking the handsome man, but that was not on the menu quite yet.
He offered her his arm and together they walked downstairs to Mike's waiting white BMW. It was freshly washed and incredibly luxurious looking. He opened her door and she got in and sat down to a comfortable leather seat, on which he had already turned the seat warmer. They drove off to L'Affaire Cafe, a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant that was Mike's favorite. Taunya had passed it many times on the way home from work, but had never wanted to go in for a meal by herself. She was glad to finally have a reason to go in and check the place out. Once inside, they were seated at a small table by the window, on which had been placed a “RESERVED” sign. Mike ordered them each a glass of wine and they perused their menus as Frank Sinatra's “The Tender Trap” played in the background.
“So, how was your work day today?” Mike asked.
Taunya didn't really want to talk about work, but she knew that she would have to make some awkward first date small talk whether she liked it or not.
“Fine. Got there late. Lots of paperwork,” she said, taking a sip of her wine, “And yours?”
“I'm sorry to hear about that. My day was fairly productive, though I have to say I was distracted for a good part of it,” he answered.
“Why is that?” Taunya asked, slow on the uptake.
“Because I spent most of my day thinking about you,” he said, smiling.
He offered her his glass and they clinked together.
“To the new and unfamiliar!” he cheered.
She smiled back. He was definitely on to something with that statement. They ordered their food and continued the idle chatter until Mike decided it was time to kick things up a notch.
“I must confess that I brought you here for more than just a date.” he said.
Taunya raised an eyebrow. 'Ok. So you
want to fuck me. Big deal. I'm down.' she thought to herself.
“I would like to make you an offer,” he said.
“An offer?” she asked, “What kind of offer?”
She thought back to the Pretty Woman moment that she'd had in the elevator the day before and wondered just exactly what Mike was getting at. While his words were intriguing, she was certainly nobody's whore and wanted to make that very clear. Mike could sense an uneasiness on her part and wanted to assuage her concerns.
“I can't hire you as my interior decorator anymore; however, there is both good and bad news to that fact,” he began.
Taunya leaned in and listened intently.
“As you know, I am a headhunter and I know many people involved in many different companies and in many different aspects of the business world. I'm not sure if you have heard of Michel Dubois.”
She had certainly heard of Michel Dubois. He was only one of the most sought after interior decorators in the entire country. She loved everything of his on Pinterest and even had a board dedicated entirely to his bathroom fixtures.
“I have heard of him, yes,” she said, trying to contain her urge to gush with fangirl-like excitement.