Weak Without Him

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Weak Without Him Page 14

by Lyra Parish


  I moved my eyes between them and tried to comprehend what was going on. The other punk continued to lean against the wall and watch me. I shot him the most hateful looks I could conjure up without being in full control of my body.

  "You'll be saying 'fuck you' with your eyes when he's fucking you. Making you his bitch. Taking your virginity away." He pointed toward Luke, who stood confidently cool and comfortable. But I didn't understand. Luke knew I wasn't a virgin anymore. Didn't he? Yes, he fucking did.

  "You do owe me a good fuck, don't you," Luke said before he exited the room with his minions behind him.

  I sat and stared at the wall, unable to move, and then closed my eyes. Luke, sweet innocent loving Luke, was not the man I expected him to be. My entire reality had changed with one look into those blue eyes.

  The next morning, I woke to the sound of the door closing. My bastard placed a set of black lingerie, high heels, and thigh-highs on the table with the tray of mystery mush. The same routine continued. Wake, eat bland food, and dress in the clothes he brought. Then I'd be bound and led to the cage as naked women danced on stage. I stared at him with emptiness in my eyes.

  Everything that I thought I knew was wrong. Everything.

  "Take a shower before you dress," he said before he left the room. Just the same as always, I wasn't allowed a moment to respond. That was the most he had ever directly spoken to me. His voice was deep, but not demanding, and I knew he shouldn't be crossed. A dangerous look camped in his eyes, and I didn't want to find out what he was capable of. I did as I was told.

  When I turned on the faucet, sludge dripped from it, until it finally ran clear. After I rinsed my body with the soap that dried my skin, I stood with a towel wrapped around me and looked at the little pile of fabric while contemplating my next move.

  I wanted to rebel.

  I resisted dressing once, and my bastard stripped me of my clothes and left me naked for a day. I learned my lesson and knew then that I had no choice. It was obey orders or be left with nothing. I would dress, but did so grudgingly.

  The fit was familiar, and I knew they had come from my favorite shop in the heart of Vegas. As much as I loved the lingerie, I couldn't help but resent wearing it. The pieces were slowly starting to fit together. I knew for a fact that I was no longer in Europe. The motherfuckers had flown me back to the good ol’ U.S. of A. Did Finnley know that I wasn't in London? Was he still searching abroad, or had he given up on me? Did he know his brother had planned this? Luke brought me to Paris, built up a level of confidence with me, then had his people capture me at that moment when I would go to Finnley. The planning it must have taken to accomplish this with one ultimate goal in mind: fuck me without his brother getting in the way.

  But all the jagged pieces didn't completely fit together. Which part did I miss? Luke could have fucked me in Paris that night when we drank too much, but he didn't. Was it a part of his plan because he knew the end result of it all?

  I hated him.

  I fucking despised him with every bone in my body.

  Luke told me to go to Finn, to be with him, secretly knowing that I wouldn't make it back to the car, that I would never see his brother again. I was thinking too much, calculating every move it must have taken, and I needed to stop.

  For once, I hated the pretty panties and bra that seemed as if they were made for whoever wore them. I put on the thigh-highs but left the heels on the table until I was forced to wear them. I would be forced, no doubt about it in my mind.

  The time ticked on, and I closed my eyes hoping it was all a horrible nightmare, but I knew better. What I lived was my new reality.

  When the door opened, I wished I wouldn't have looked.

  "Stand up," Luke demanded.

  I rolled my eyes at him, which only caused him to storm toward me and jerk me by my arm.

  "When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it," he said. The minions entered. Luke snarled and demanded them with a snap. Over his shoulder, he said, "Bring me the shoes." Cab driver grabbed the heels and shoved them at me. Luke watched me as I dropped them on the floor and took my sweet time slipping them on. I stood eye level to him with the heels on, but refused to look into his eyes. I couldn't stand them anymore.

  "Get on your knees."

  I looked at him as if he was joking, but his stature didn't waver.

  "Now."

  I hesitated, and he ran his fingers through my hair, grabbed a fistful, and forced my ear close to his mouth. His warm breath hit my skin as he whispered, "Don't make me fucking hurt you." His grasp tightened on my hair, and I dropped down. My knees hit the hard concrete, and I winced.

  "Hands behind your back."

  I sucked in a deep breath and did as he said. He would have to force me every step of the way. Luke stepped back and spoke with his back toward me.

  "Each time I enter this room, I want you down on your fucking knees."

  He looked at the minions and demanded them out. Then he coolly pulled a chair up and sat in front of me, watching me, waiting for me to falter. But I wouldn't.

  I stared at a spot in the middle of the floor as he comfortably sat above me. My knees throbbed with pain, but I didn't move. Mind over matter.

  "Do you have any fucking idea how much you mean to me?"

  I continued to look at the spot.

  "The things I would do for you?"

  I looked into his eyes, and something flickered behind them.

  Hurt? Anger? Hate? Could it be hate?

  "Of course you don't. You never gave a shit about me or my feelings and why would you? You were nothing more than a whore my brother commissioned. Now you're at my mercy. You're at the will of me, your master. The one who now owns you."

  Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and my heart sped. I stared until my vision blurred. I had been on the floor for over an hour. As if I didn't have enough of his mind fuck, Luke dropped down to his knees and forced me to look into his eyes.

  "See me," he said, and I spit in his face. The heels dug into the crease of my ass. I looked at him, chest rising and falling with every breath, as he wiped away my saliva.

  "Is this what you want, Luke? You want me to see you for the fucking monster you are. I thought you were someone you weren't. I thought you cared about me. You're pathetic and jealous of your own brother. You disgust me."

  He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, really slow, so controlled it scared me. Then he swiftly stood and jerked me up by the hair. I fought back screams.

  With all of his strength, Luke forced me onto the bed and pinned my arms above my head. I couldn't fight him. I wouldn't. It was best to just take it. As much as I wanted to fight against him, it wouldn't get me anywhere.

  Luke's face was inches above mine as he hovered over my body. His heartbeat pulsed in his neck. He forcefully restrained my wrists with one hand, while the other slid up the side of my body, touching my soft skin. His touch held so much vengeance, lust, desire.

  "Do you want to die? Then learn to fucking listen to me, for once, or you'll never see my brother again, not even in your dreams," he said between gritted teeth.

  "Are you threatening me?"

  "It's a fucking promise, Miss Downs." And that's when Luke's hand wrapped around my throat.

  Then the laughter came. My laughter.

  At that moment, I knew Luke had broken me. It wasn't the tone in his voice or words, or the tight grasp he had around my throat, but the seriousness in his face and eyes that told me he was telling the truth. At that moment, I saw him for what and who he truly was, and I hated him for it.

  Luketon Brand, Finnley's little brother, was out of control. A little piece of me, deep inside, told me I lay in the room where I would die by the hands of the man who I once trusted with my life.

  FINNLEY

  Twenty-nine

  The earliest flight left in the morning. Luke had been back in Vegas for forty-eight hours and was impossible to get in touch with. I needed to tell him that Abbot foun
d the driver and that Jennifer was in the States somewhere, but each time his phone went to voicemail when I called. Damn it! Not the best time to be unavailable.

  I packed my things and boarded the plane, then put on my Ray-Bans with the hope that no one would recognize me. No one did. When I landed in Vegas, Charlie waited for me and brought me to the office.

  While we were on the elevator, my secretary turned and gave me a look. "Didn't know you were coming in today."

  I crossed my arms and glared at her. I did look batshit crazy at the moment in a t-shirt and tattered blue jeans. I needed a shave and shower after that flight, but I also had a business to make sure was running properly.

  "I won't be here long. Just need to take care of some things, and I left my laptop."

  She smiled, and the elevator door opened. I walked to my office and pulled out Jennifer's file. A picture of her smiled back at me, and I ran my finger across her face. Why had I never taken any pictures of her? Or taken her to do fun things in New York or California? When I found her, things would change. A person never knows what they have until it was gone. Regret overtook me.

  I flipped through her folder, trying to find a clue, something hidden that she didn't tell me. I knew her parents had died, but never mentioned it because I wanted her to openly talk about it when she was ready. After scanning through the pages, I slammed the folder shut, then tried to call Luke again. No answer.

  I opened the laptop and sorted through emails. Jesse's job was currently unfilled, and I needed to get someone in there as soon as possible. A list of women applied, but only one caught my eye: Lori. She would be great at managing the Girls and making sure everything was in place for conventions and meetings. Plus, I got along with her fine. I picked up the phone and called Paisley.

  "Have Lori meet me in my office in the next thirty minutes, and join her please."

  "I didn't know you were here today. I thought you would be in London for another week."

  "Had a change of plans." I hung up the phone, then walked to the window that overlooked the city and ran my fingers through my hair.

  "Where are you, Jenn?" I whispered to the streets.

  I looked over at the wall where I first touched her, and that hole inside of me spread, making me feel more empty. I balled my fist and punched the wall several times. My knuckles bled, but the pain helped me feel alive and regain myself. Two knocks on the door brought me back to reality.

  "Come in," I said, and moved toward the edge of the desk.

  When Lori saw me, the look on her face showed nothing but worry, then she glanced down at my swollen knuckles. I didn't hide them.

  "Have a seat, please."

  They both did.

  "Thank you for appearing on such short notice. I know you applied for the management position, Lori, and I don’t want to go through the procedures, annoying interview questions, and all of that. It's a waste of my time, so I'd like to offer you the job. You're more than qualified, and I would be honored to work with you."

  Her mouth dropped open and Paisley smiled.

  "Are you serious?" Lori asked.

  "Very."

  "Yes. I would love to. I. I don't know what to say exactly. Thank you."

  "The job will come with more responsibilities, a pay raise, and of course, you will not longer be on the line up. Congratulations."

  "I am speechless. Thank you so much, Mr. Felton. I will not let you down."

  "Paisley, please make sure to have her sign the release paperwork and transition her this week. Also, please let her Number One know as well. You'll move into Jesse's office in the corner."

  "I'll get right on it," Paisley said.

  "Training will need to begin immediately," I said.

  Lori stood to shake my hand, and I smiled. It was the best choice. She was trustworthy, listened to direction, and cared about her job.

  Before they left the room, I called Lori back in.

  "I'll meet you in my office whenever you've finished," Paisley turned and said to Lori.

  Before she sat, she looked over me. "You look like shit, Mr. F."

  "I know."

  "You didn't find her, did you?"

  I sucked in a deep breath then spoke. "I did. She was with Luke."

  She held back a smile, and I shook my head.

  "Then was kidnapped in front of me."

  She covered her mouth with her hands and gasped. "Oh my God."

  "And I'm searching for her. You haven't heard anything, have you?"

  "No. She never returned my calls."

  "She's here, in the states, somewhere. I know that. I have to find her."

  "We will."

  I congratulated her once again, and she was on her way.

  "Take care of yourself," she said before she left my office.

  I tightened my hand into a fist and grabbed the set of keys to the BMW I had in the parking garage for situations just like this. Having an extra car at the office was necessary.

  Fucking Luke would talk to me one way or another. We had important matters to discuss, and I needed to find Jennifer before something terrible happened to her.

  I sped through the city streets and drove straight to his house. His Volvo was parked outside. I used the spare key to his house and let myself in. His suitcase sat by the kitchen counter and mail was spread across the top. Music leaked from upstairs. I climbed them two at a time.

  I slammed open the door to his studio where he was busy painting depressing shit.

  "What the fuck?" I yelled at him.

  He turned and stared at me like I had scared the shit out of him.

  "What. The. Fuck. Luketon," I said again.

  "What?"

  "I've been calling you, asshole. Answer your phone."

  He finished painting the dark clouds on the canvas and slammed his paintbrush into a jar of water.

  "I've been working. Give me a break."

  "I don't give a shit. When I call you, especially with the current circumstances, I need you to at least call me back in a timely manner. I've left you several voicemails. What is going on with you?"

  "Leave, Finn. I can't be around you right now. I've got too much going on, and I really need to finish this project."

  "No. Make me leave."

  Luke looked down at my swollen knuckles and my flexing fist and shook his head. "You need rest. Go home. Shower. Shave. We can have dinner or something. You're acting fucking crazy. Leave." He stood inches from my face.

  "You've not seen crazy yet," I said pushing him away from me. He didn't fight back, and I shook my head at him then slammed the studio door behind me. As I made my way down the stairs, he stood at the top and watched me.

  "We can have dinner tonight," Luke said.

  "I need to find Jennifer, Luke. I don't give a fuck about anything else." I stopped walking. "And she's somewhere in the US, not that you fucking cared to know."

  He sucked in a deep breath and walked toward me.

  "How do you know that for sure?"

  "Because Abbot found the driver. And when I find out who took her, I will fucking kill them," I said as I slammed the door behind me. He didn't respond.

  I slowly slipped away into the shadows. I knew once I fully lost myself there it would be hard to come back. But I hadn't completely given up hope yet.

  I had a few favors to cash in from a few gangsters, thieves, and criminals that I hadn't talked to in years. Although I didn't particularly want to, it was time to give them a call.

  Thirty

  Taxi driver and club guy entered and attached chains with cuffs to the hook in the corner of the room. I rolled over on the mattress and tried to pretend they weren't there, but their annoying fucking laughter became impossible to ignore.

  "She has no clue what's in store for her, does she?" taxi driver said.

  "No clue. Stupid bitch," the other one replied.

  They stood over me, and I pretended they weren't there. I hoped they would walk away and leave me alone and, surpri
singly, they did. But I didn't trust them. If Luke hadn't brought me here, they both would have probably had their way with me. After whispering back and forth to one another in the corner of the room, they left me to wallow in my emotionless bliss for hours before I was visited again.

  The clearing of a throat woke me from my daze. I didn't roll over or acknowledge Luke, but pretended to be asleep to see how long he would stand there.

  "Jennifer."

  After a few minutes, I rolled over and looked at him and the tray of food in his hand.

  "I've warned you," he said.

  I slid off the bed then dropped to my knees and placed my arms behind my back. He left me there until my knees ached. Eventually, I would be numb to not only emotional pain but physical pain too. Once satisfied with me, Luke nodded his head with approval and set the tray of food, real food, on the table.

  "Come eat."

  Macaroni and chicken filled the plate. The thought of him doing something nice for me, in my current condition, made me sick.

  "I know it's your favorite."

  I narrowed my eyes at him.

  "Go on. I've seen what you've been eating."

  I sat and so did he. Slowly he slid a spoon and fork to me, and I stared at it. I didn't want anything from him, not even food that made my mouth water. Instead, I flipped the tray over. Macaroni slung onto his black shirt, and the chicken landed in his lap.

  "Damn it," he yelled and grabbed me by my wrists.

  I jerked away from him.

  "Why do you insist on being a bitch when I'm trying to help you?"

  "Help me? Help me? Are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen where I'm at Luke? The only person I have to blame for this is you. You! The only person who knows where I am."

  He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me to the cuffs on chains in the corner. He slammed my wrists above my head and tightly bound me.

  "I hate you. I fucking hate you." I didn't raise my voice. No, I didn't need to for my point to get across.

  Luke forcefully flipped me around and made me stare at the wall, then he inched his hands under my panties and moved them out of the way.

 

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