Fear brightened her eyes, made her hands tremble, and for a split second, he thought she was going to turn and run without ever admitting the truth to him. To herself.
“Yes.”
The word sang through his head, echoed through his heart. He wanted to hear her say it again and again, to feel the one syllable against his lips. “Then come with me. You don’t have to stay here for your sister. She’s all grown up now, living her own life. She doesn’t need you here. The town doesn’t need you.”
“But I need it.” Tears filled her voice, betraying the calm she always tried so hard to maintain. “All I could think about for so long was getting out. It’s all I dreamed of. I wanted to hit the road, to find someplace where I felt at home. But once I stopped trying to run, I realized that I felt it here. This is home for me, Jesse. It’ll always be home.”
He stepped toward her and touched his mouth to hers. The photo album thudded to the ground. Jesse wrapped his arms around Gracie and held tight, as if he never meant to let go. He gave her a gentle, searing kiss that intensified the ache deep inside him and made him want to hold her forever.
She loved him, he loved her. This was crazy. They could have a life together starting now. Today. In Austin. Or here.
It didn’t matter to him.
The realization hit just as she pulled away.
This was home. Gracie was home.
Her warmth. Her smile. Her love.
It was all right here, and that was why he’d been stalling. This was where he needed to be.
He needed to stay.
And she needed him to go.
Because he knew she would never forgive him if she thought that he’d changed his plans just for her. She would never forgive herself.
Maybe she would. Maybe she’d be happy he’d changed his mind and they’d live happily ever after.
It wasn’t a chance he could take. He didn’t want her feeling as though she’d destroyed his dreams. Trapped him.
He knew what it felt like to live with guilt. He wouldn’t doom her to the hell he’d faced for so long. The doubt. The uncertainty.
“You know where to find me,” he murmured against her soft, sweet lips. “If you change your mind.” While he knew with dead certainty that they were meant to be together, Gracie had to discover it for herself.
And if she didn’t?
Jesse shoved his greatest fear aside and did the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his life. He walked away from Gracie Stone.
And then he left Lost Gun for good.
* * *
“FORGET THE PICS at the bouncy house!” Trina motioned Gracie toward the large tent set up at the far end of the fairgrounds. It was the first day of the town’s infamous three-week-long rodeo and barbecue cook-off, a huge event that drew tourists and fans from all over the state. “Cletus Walker is this close to breaking the record for eating the most bread-and-butter pickles. He’s already eaten four hundred and twenty. He’ll either blow or land himself in the Guinness Book of World Records. Either way, you’re going to want firsthand shots.”
Gracie clicked off two more shots of three-year-old Sally Wheeler sitting midbounce with her big toe in her mouth and rushed after the town’s new mayor.
Rushed. That described her life over the past three weeks since she’d resigned as mayor, handed over the office to the new mayor-elect—Trina—and bought out June Silsbee’s photography studio. June was now awaiting the birth of her triplets in peace. Meanwhile, Gracie was up to her armpits in work.
Between babies and youth sports and local chili cook-offs, she barely had time to look through her viewfinder before she was hustling off to the next assignment.
Not that she minded the whirlwind. She welcomed it because it kept her busy. Too busy to think about Jesse and the all-important fact that she missed him terribly.
“Are you okay?” Trina asked as Gracie caught up to her at the entrance to the pickle-eating tent.
“Fine.”
“Uh-huh.” Trina gave her a quick once-over. “I’m the mayor, sugar. You can’t put anything over on me.”
“I think I might be coming down with something.”
“Yeah, a bad case of the gimmes.”
“What?”
“You know. The gimmes. It’s when a woman’s been getting some and then all of a sudden she’s not getting any. She goes into withdrawal and her body is like, ‘Gimme, gimme, gimme.’”
“That’s ridiculous.”
And all too true.
“I just need a little vitamin C and I’ll be fine.”
That was what she said, but she wasn’t placing any bets. While she’d done the right thing and let him go, a part of her still wished that she had begged him to stay.
Not that it would have made any difference. He would have left anyway. He’d had to leave.
She understood that.
She just wished it didn’t hurt so much.
She forced aside the depressing thought, made her way up to the front of the tent and focused on a red-faced Cletus, who eyed pickle number 421 as if it were a snake about to bite him.
She documented the momentous occasion as he devoured the last bite and lifted his arms in victory before making her way toward the corral set up at the far end of the fairgrounds. Dozens of rookie bull riders lined the metal fence, cheering on the wrangler atop the angry bull twisting and turning center stage. The preliminaries hadn’t actually started, but the cowboys were giving it their all in a practice round that would pick the lineup for the main event.
She maneuvered between two button-down Western shirts and started snapping pictures.
She aimed for another picture and a strange awareness skittered over her skin, as if someone watched her.
As if...
She glanced around, her gaze searching the dozens of faces.
It was just her imagination, she finally concluded, turning her attention back to her camera. Because no way in heaven, hell or even Texas could Jesse Chisholm be here—
The thought scattered the minute she sighted the familiar face in her viewfinder.
He’d stepped from behind a group of wranglers. The crowd milled around him and the noise rose up, but her full attention fixated on him. She watched as he talked to some cowboy who stood next to him, obviously oblivious to his surroundings, and her hope took a nosedive. For a split second, she thought that he’d come for her, that he was going to sweep her up into his arms and whisk her away.
Right.
He was obviously here for the rodeo. To ride his way straight to another buckle.
Without her.
The thought sent a burst of panic through her because as happy as she was here in Lost Gun, she could never be truly happy without him. She loved him. She always had and she always would, and it was time she owned up to it.
She’d made the last move and ended things with him, and now it was time to make the first move and set things right.
She pushed her way through the crowd, working her way around the corral until she came up behind him. A tap on the shoulder and he turned to face her.
Where she’d expected surprise, she saw only relief. As if he’d been waiting for her for a very long time.
He had, she realized as he stared deep into her eyes and she saw the insecurity, the doubt, the guilt. He’d been waiting for twelve years for her to admit her feelings, to tell the world, and now it was time.
Her gaze snagged on the weariness in his eyes and her heart hitched. “You look like hell,” she said as she noted the tight lines around his mouth, the shadows beneath his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in days. Weeks.
“Nice to see you, too.”
“You here to compete?”
“That, and I thought you might want these back.” Tw
o fingers wiggled into his jeans pocket and he pulled a familiar scrap of black lace from inside. He grinned his infamous rodeo-bad-boy grin that made her insides jump as he dangled her undies from one tanned finger. “These do belong to you, don’t they?”
A few weeks ago she would have snatched the undies from his hand and stuffed them in her purse, desperate to keep up appearances and avoid any scandal that would disappoint the good folks of Lost Gun. But things were different now. She was different. She loved Jesse and she didn’t care who knew it. She gave in to the smile that tugged at her lips. “They are, but I don’t see that I need them at the moment. I’m wearing new ones.”
“I know. I thought maybe we could make a trade.”
“So you’re collecting women’s lingerie?”
“Just yours, Gracie. Only yours. I was hoping to add every damn pair you possess to my stash.” Determination lit his eyes. “Just so you know, I might have retreated, but I’m not giving up. I would never try to force you to do anything. I’ve been staying away to let you know that I respect your decisions, and I’ll keep staying away if I have to. If that’s what you want.” His fingertips trailed along her cheek as if he couldn’t quite believe she was real. “Because you’re what I want and I don’t care who knows it.”
“What about Austin? It’s your home.”
“You’re home.” His hands cradled her face, his thumbs smoothing across her trembling bottom lip. “Wherever you are, that’s where I’ll hang my hat.”
“You hate it here.”
He glanced around at the multitude of faces surrounding them. “I hate my past and the people who refuse to let me forget it. But not everyone here is like that. Miss Hazel is the sweetest woman who ever walked the planet, and she’s here.” He shrugged. “This place isn’t so bad.”
“But Austin is your dream. I can’t ask you to give up your dream. I won’t ask it.”
Anger flared deep in his eyes as his mouth tightened into a grim line. “So you don’t love me. Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“No! I do love you. With all my heart. It’s just...I don’t want you making all the sacrifices.” She shook her head and turned to stare at the bull kicking up dust in a nearby chute. “That’s not what love is all about. It’s about give-and-take. An equal amount of both.”
“Meaning?” He came up behind her, so close she could feel the heat from his body, hear his heart beating in her ears.
“I’m pretty good with this camera,” she told him. “I was thinking I could take some time off and follow you out onto the road. If you could use a good action photographer, that is.” Her gaze met his. “I do want to live here, but I know you have a job that you love, one that takes you away for weeks on end. I don’t want to be away from you that long.” She caught his arms when he started to reach for her and held him off, determined to resolve the unanswered questions between them. “I’m willing to follow you—I want to follow you—if you’re willing to follow me right back here when it’s all said and done. Give-and-take. Fifty-fifty. You and me.”
“What about your sister?”
“She’s a big girl. She doesn’t need me.”
“I’d be willing to bet she still needs you.”
She shrugged. “True, but I’m just a text away. So that’s it. That’s my offer. You let me go with you and I’ll let you come back here with me.”
He grinned, the sight easing the anxiety that had been coiling inside her. “I could use a new head shot or two,” he declared as he drew her into his arms and hugged her fiercely. “To keep the fans happy.”
“Not too happy,” she said, her heart swelling with the certainty that he loved her as much as she loved him. “I don’t share very well.”
“Neither do I.” His expression went from sheer happiness to serious desperation. “Marry me, Gracie, and we’ll make a home for ourselves right here in Lost Gun. You can take pictures to your heart’s content and do anything that makes you happy, as long as we’re together. I want you in my bed.” He touched one nipple and brought the tip to throbbing awareness. “In my heart.” His hand slid higher, over the pounding between her breasts. “In my life.” His thumb came to rest over the frantic jump of her pulse. “Everywhere.”
She smiled through a blurry haze of tears and pulled away from him to grab the hem of her sundress and run her hands up her bare legs.
His expression went from puzzled to hungry. “What are you doing?”
She smiled wider. “Giving you a deposit.”
She shimmied and wiggled until her hot pink panties pooled at her ankles. Stepping free, she dangled the scrap of silk in front of him before stuffing the undies into his pocket along with the other pair already in his possession.
“Just so you know, there’s more where those came from. A future of them. Forever.” And then she kissed him, surrendering her body to his roaming hands, her heart to his and her soul to whatever the future held.
Right here in Lost Gun.
Epilogue
“YOU SURE YOU WANT to do this?” Jesse asked Gracie as he braked to a stop near the fence that surrounded Big Earl Jessup’s property. He killed the engine on the pickup and flicked off the headlights.
“No.” Gracie tamped down on her anxiety when she heard the dogs start to bark and held tight to the hand of the man sitting next to her. “But Jackie Sue Patterson told Martin Skolnik who told Laura Lynn McKinney who just so happened to mention when she brought her twins into the studio for pics that she saw Casey Jessup at the hardware store yesterday. She bought two propane lanterns, some rope, a tarp and some tie-down stakes. That means she’s cooking moonshine again and I’m the one responsible since I let her off with just a warning instead of turning her over to Sheriff Hooker.”
He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “It could just mean she’s going camping.”
“Maybe, but maybe not. Either way, I need to find out. If something’s up, we’ll head back to town and I’ll notify the sheriff.” For Casey’s own good.
While Gracie knew the girl was just helping out her grandfather the only way she knew how, cooking moonshine was still illegal. And dangerous. And Gracie wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something bad happened and someone got hurt.
She eyed the small house that sat several yards away. A television flickered just beyond one of the windows, but otherwise everything seemed quiet.
She whipped out her binoculars and scoured the area, from the old toilet that had been turned into a planter near the front porch, to the stretch of pasture that extended beyond the house. Her heart stalled when she noted the small light that flickered in the far distance.
“See?” She pointed and handed Jesse the binoculars. “It’s her.”
“It’s definitely someone.” He gazed at the horizon before handing the binoculars back to her. “I don’t know that it’s Casey.”
“Who else would it be?” Gracie watched as the figure lifted the pinpoint of light and suddenly Casey Jessup’s face came into view. “It’s her.” The young woman turned and walked toward the tree line, lantern in one hand and what looked like a shovel in the other. “I told you she was up to something.”
“She’s walking.”
“Exactly.”
“And carrying a light.”
“Even more incriminating.”
“Babe, she could just be going for a walk.”
“At half past midnight?”
“Maybe she’s meeting someone.”
“To sell a few cases.”
“Or to hook up.” He shrugged. “It is one hell of a nice night.”
She abandoned the binoculars to slide him a glance. Her heart hitched as her gaze collided with his and she f
elt the familiar warmth that told her she was sitting next to her soul mate. A man who loved her as much as she loved him. A man who always would.
She noted the gleam in his rich, violet eyes. “Since when did you turn into the eternal optimist?”
A grin tugged at his lips. “Since a certain buttoned-up city official whipped off her panties in the middle of town and handed them to me in front of God and the Amberjack twins.”
Her own lips twitched at the memory. “I did give them something to talk about, didn’t I?”
“Enough fuel to keep things interesting for at least another year.” He winked. “It was definitely one of my most favorite moments.”
“Glad I could renew your hope in mankind.”
“Sugar, you are my hope.” He leaned across the seat and touched her lips with his own in a fierce kiss that made her stomach quiver.
It had been a week since she’d handed her panties to him in front of an arena full of people and declared her love. A busy week since Jesse had changed his mind about selling his dad’s old place and decided to clear the spot and build a brand-new house smack-dab in the middle of Lost Gun.
Not that he’d made complete peace with his past.
We’re talking a week.
The recent airing of Famous Texas Outlaws had, as expected, lured a ton of tourists to town and stirred a wave of fortune hunting. And speculation. About the money. About Jesse and his brothers and their integrity. According to the latest round of gossip, they not only knew what had happened to the money, but they’d gone on a spending spree that included everything from new cowboy boots to a private island in South America.
Crazy, but that was the rumor mill in a small town. And part of the reason Jesse had been so desperate to get out of Lost Gun for good.
But while he’d yet to forgive the townspeople who’d made his life a living hell while growing up—the same people who were wagging their tongues and feeding the frenzy right now—he had managed to acknowledge those people who did accept him. Even more, he’d found the strength to forgive himself.
Texas Outlaws: Jesse Page 17