by Rulon, Genna
I nodded my understanding and stroked her back, encouraging her to continue.
“When you showed up, I didn’t recognize you for what you were. I didn’t know you were a piece of me that had always been missing.”
I understood exactly what she meant because I felt the same. I just realized it much earlier.
“But it’s more than that. You’re not just a piece of me—you’re the glue that holds it all together. You were made for me…or I was made for you. Either way, it doesn’t matter. All the broken shards of me, every jagged edge is yours. I’ve put them back as best I can, and hopefully I’ll continue to discover new and old pieces, but without you there is nothing there to hold it all together.”
Every word out of her beautiful, kissable mouth was an answer to my prayers. I kissed her lips gently, not wanting to push her but needing to touch her in some way.
“You’re wrong, you know?” I said, barely above a whisper. “It’s not just a piece of me that fits you. We are both pieces, neither complete without the other. And I’m not the glue …we are like epoxy—both components necessary for adhesion. Together our bond is strong, flexible, waterproof, and resistant to heat, cold, and external exposure.”
“I think you’re right, even though I have no freakin’ clue what epoxy is,” I laughed at his utterly “man” metaphor. “Do you mind if your pieces are in better condition than mine?”
“I’m not flawless, Lo. I have my own jagged edges.”
“I like your sharp edges,” she said while dragging her fingers across my abs. I had never loved sit-ups more than at that moment.
We spent the next several hours catching up on the last few weeks, cuddling, and kissing. I didn’t push for more; I didn’t need it. Having Sam back in my arms, feeling her body against mine, and knowing she was mine again were more than I had dared to hope for.
We fell asleep on the couch wrapped around each other, parts entwined like the pieces of the whole we were.
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." -Lao Tzu
I was warm—very warm—in the best possible way. I fisted my hand in the fabric beneath my palm, feeling the soft cotton of a t-shirt bunch against my hand. I inhaled deeply and let his drugging scent seep into my body, reassuring me that last night was not a dream.
On the couch in my family room, enveloped in Griffin’s arms, I awoke after my best night’s sleep in three weeks. I couldn’t believe he was here…back in my life…mine. I rubbed my head against his chest like a cat soliciting attention and marking her territory. I couldn’t get close enough. I wished humans had a pouch like kangaroos…I would happily climb in and let Griff tote me around everywhere.
His chest rumbled with laughter, startling me.
“I didn’t,” I said, hoping against all odds his laughter was due to another source.
“A pouch, huh? Kind of kinky, but I’d do it for you,” Griffin teased, while kissing the side of my neck as he worked his way to my lips. “I’ve already told you, I’d be happy to carry you everywhere. You’re the one who insists on walking. I’d rather have you in my arms at all times.”
I was starting to see his logic and it would be a great way to gain eight inches of height, too.
“I’d love nothing more, but unfortunately I have to go to work,” I said, making no effort to rise.
“Gotta pay for your new pad somehow. It’s fantastic, by the way—very ‘you.’”
“You haven’t even seen it all…yet.”
“Oh, what have I missed?” he asked with a wicked twinkle in his eye.
What a naughty man, planting ideas in my head when I had to leave.
“My closet, it’s freaking spectacular. Every girl’s wet dream.” Ha! Take that, Mr. McTeasey.
He let out a pitiful moan.
“Maybe if you’re a really good boy, I’ll show you later,” I added, turning the dial up on my torment.
“You, Lo, are a cruel woman. I’ll have to think of ways to pay you back while I spend the day here breaking down your trash.”
I had a feeling his creative retribution would be more pleasure than punishment.
“That mouth of yours is writing some big checks…I hope you’re prepared to cash them.”
“My mouth is more than ready to deliver,” he said, his words reverberating through my body.
Oh my, I remembered what his mouth could do…vividly.
“Yes, please!”
He swatted my butt before sitting us up.
Wanting to leave him with as much anticipation as he had created in me, I kissed him like my life depended on it. We were both panting when we finished.
“Think about that while you play with my boxes.”
I stood up and headed to my beloved closet, leaving him sputtering.
Thirty minutes later, I was dressed and out the door. I passed Griff, who had already begun breaking down the mountain of recyclables that had invaded my garage. When I reached my car, I gasped loud enough that Griffin heard me and was by my side before I had reached for the paper. He snatched the page from my windshield.
“Mother fucker!” he hissed before pulling out his cell.
I snatched the note from his hand while he was distracted and read it myself.
Mother fucker. The threats had been arriving every week, growing progressively more ominous, but this was the first that wasn’t urging me to back out of testifying…there was no ‘or else’ this time. Previously, the notes were delivered under my windshield wiper during my shift at Higher Yearning. This time it was delivered outside my new home in a gated community. The implication wasn’t lost on me. He knew where I was, where I lived, and the minimum-wage security guy was no deterrent. Shit.
My day had started so damn well. Now Hunter was going to come over here with Detective Norse to collect evidence. Maybe I could have Griffin drop me off at work and I could talk to the cops later. Part of me was terrified of the ‘he’ drawing near, but a larger part wanted to flip him the bird, scream ‘fuck you,’ and carry on with my day. I was done with letting the psycho and his family tie me in knots and derail my life. Enough was enough.
I walked over to Griffin, who paced like an agitated bear.
“Hey, babe? Can you give me a ride to work?”
He stopped pacing and turned his head toward me in slow motion, a look on his face that loosely translated to ‘are you out of your fucking mind?’
“Hunter and the cops can do their thing with my car and then I’ll give my statement later. You know, I don’t want to leave Ev in a bind.”
Griffin continued to stare at me as if I had just told him aliens had beamed me to their spaceship, impregnated me, and then returned me to earth—all in the last sixty seconds.
He was starting to freak me out a little.
“You know what, don’t worry about it. It’s better if you finish breaking up those boxes so I can park in the garage—safer. Definitely a better plan. I’ll text Meg; she can pick me up on her way in,” I rambled.
He swiped the phone from my hand with lightning speed.
“Hey,” I objected.
“You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere.”
“You are overreacting,” I said with an eye roll for emphasis.
“Overreacting? A homicidal maniac just told you that your death is imminent, and I’m overreacting?” he asked, barely restraining his anger.
“So I’m supposed to live the rest of my life in hiding? What, should I testify then enter the witness protection program and leave my life behind…leave you behind? Or worse, not testify at all? I won’t live that way. I won’t let him control my life or my decisions.”
“This isn’t a game, Sam, and it isn’t about reclaiming control over your life. This is survival. Control is irrelevant if you’re dead. You will not go anywhere without protection until we find a way to stop him. Do you understand me?”
If I had taken a moment to breathe, to think about the fear motivating his
tyrannical commands, I might have been more reasonable—maybe. But I didn’t take that breath; I exploded.
“He doesn’t get to have that power over me…and neither do you. You’re back on the job one day after ditching me for three weeks and you think you have a right to order me around? Think again. This is my life. Mine! So you can zip those perfect fucking lips.”
“You think my lips are perfect?” he asked with a sexy smile.
Son of a bitch. I knew what he was doing, and I would not be swayed by his charm or suggestive smile.
“I did until you started ordering me around with them,” I huffed.
He took a step closer to me, placed his hands on my hips, and pulled me against him. He lowered his lips to my ear, eliciting goosebumps across my flesh. Damn, he was good at this seduction stuff.
“Do you remember what I can do with my perfect lips or do I need to remind you?”
“It isn’t going to work. No matter how tempting you are, I won’t give in. I won’t stop living my life.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned back to meet his gaze. “I’m not being stubborn. Well, I am, but not just for the sake of it. I can’t live that way, not after what I’ve been through. If I run and hide, let him break me in that way, I will lose myself. There will be nothing left…no pieces to fit back together. I will just disappear. Please understand.”
Griffin dragged a hand through his hair, frustrated. He hated what I was saying, but he understood. He was going to cave; I could see it in his eyes. Because I loved him, I let him think he actually had a say.
“I don’t like this. I’m going to try and be with you as much as possible and I’ll have Hunter to cover any gaps when I can’t be there. Please, Lo, I need you to be careful,” he said and lifted me by my waist until our foreheads touched. “I just got you back…I can’t lose you.”
“I don’t have a death wish, babe. I’ll be so careful I won’t even break a nail.”
“For the time being, I’d like to crash at your place or you at mine. In separate rooms if you want, as long as you’re close. I don’t want to take any chances.”
Separate rooms, my ass. I finally had my body pillow back. If we were under the same roof, he would be warming my bed. I decided to let him sweat over my intentions…he deserved it after trying to boss me around. Alpha was hot in the bedroom, not so much in real life.
“Deal.”
Hunter and Detective Norse arrived soon after and took my statement, while the crime scene investigators collected evidence. Hunter informed me I had the rest of the day off as per Ev’s strict orders. I was going to argue, but after my battle with Griffin I didn’t have the energy to go for god knows how many rounds with Ev, so I relented.
Griff and I spent the first half of the day taking out our frustrations on cardboard, a tedious task until I persuaded Griffin he would be more comfortable without his shirt while laboring. He was wise to my thinly veiled ploy to score eye-candy, but obliged me easily—my man liked to be ogled if I was the one ogling. Breaking down boxes became my new favorite pastime when accompanied by rippling muscles and a tight ass.
When we finished, we headed to the gym and resumed our routine. Working out was definitely more appealing with the return of Griffin’s company and an extra thorough massage at the end. Afterward, we showered and stopped by the gourmet grocery to pick up ingredients for dinner. Cooking together for the first time was more fun than I could have imagined. My time in the kitchen was therapeutic, and having Griffin embrace my favorite hobby as more than the taste-tester created a new bond between us. I imagined it was how Griffin felt when I watched him perform…there was an intimacy in sharing something you loved with the person to whom you were committed.
As we shared the fruits of our labor, Griffin talked about the menu I had sent him before our hiatus. His chef was resistant to the changes and believed the old menu was fine as it was. I understood his point. The menu was good, but The Stop could benefit from adding other options and tweaking a few of their standard dishes to make them feel new. Griffin was struggling with the decision to replace the chef or force his compliance, or just let go of the idea altogether. I didn’t envy the responsibilities he bore.
After dinner we cuddled on the couch and watched re-runs of ‘The Office.’ Both of us needed the healing power of laughter and a time-out from the darker side of life. After the third episode, Griffin turned off the TV and turned me in his arms until I was facing him.
“Lo-baby, there are still some things I need to tell you,” he said seriously.
“And I want to hear them all,” I replied, as I leaned in to graze my lips across his before trailing them lower. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”
“Kind of hard to focus when you’re kissing my neck,” he said without complaint.
“Hmmm. You’ll have to try harder because I have no intention of stopping.”
“I thought you should know that I’ve wanted you for a really long time…since your twenty-first birthday, actually. It wasn’t the right time, but I knew even from the first time I saw you that you were meant to be mine. I was already crazy about you before everything happened last spring. So, when Rob—”
“Shh. Not tonight. I don’t want anyone intruding on our perfect night, not even in the form of a memory.”
He nodded, hesitating before speaking.
“Okay, not tonight. I’ll just say that I was half in love with you before you were ever mine.”
“That you can say as often as you like,” I said, sliding my fingers under his shirt, working it up over his broad shoulders until his torso was in full view. “New rule—no shirts in the house.”
His hands complied, making a beeline for the hem of my shirt.
“I meant for you,” I said with a laugh.
“I know” was his only reply before my shirt was gone; my bra followed in short order. His lips explored the swell of my chest while my hands mapped him. We were exploring familiar territory, but every kiss and touch felt different, like we were touching more than just skin.
His hands drifted to my hips, pulling my body squarely on top of his. He steadied me with his grip and sat up, causing me to straddle him, his erection pressed between our bodies. I saw the question in his eyes, wordlessly asking if I was okay. In reply, I shifted my hips and pressed against him, finding the pressure I was craving. I rolled my hips and we both groaned. His fingers flexed in response, digging into the skin at my side.
“Yes…” The word slipped out with a soft moan from my lips and that was all it took. Griffin lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom. We sat on the center of the bed, where I settled over him and resumed my straddling posture.
One of his hands left my hip, sliding upward until his palm supported my head and his arm braced my back. He leaned down to take my mouth, and with a kiss that held a new depth and fervor, he devoured me, his need matching my own. He then leaned me back, his arm taking my weight, as he skated his lips down the column of my neck, nipping my collarbone, and ending at my chest. Exposing me, he sucked my nipple into his mouth, working it with an expertise I’d never experienced before. I mindlessly ground against him, desperate for relief. I needed to extinguish the fire he had lit throughout my body, blazing up from my core.
I wanted more of everything…with him. I was ready, as long as it was Griffin’s hands touching me, his body against mine. I was a nomad who had been wandering the desert for endless months, finally finding a wellspring. I was nearly feral in my hunger. So many months of furloughed lust crashed down on me, or maybe it was simply Griffin’s effect alone. I worked myself free of my panties, the seconds of broken contact feeling like Purgatory. Griffin was preoccupied, clueless of the direction I was steering us, and I impatiently clawed at his boxer briefs, determined to get rid of every barrier between us.
I growled in frustration. Smiling devilishly, he broke our kiss and brought his lips to my ear.
“What are you doing, Lo?” His voice was hot and seductive.
>
“Please. Take these off.”
He paused for a moment, gauging my sincerity. If he didn’t hurry up and comply, he would find out exactly how sincere I was when I shredded the offending fabric with my teeth. Sensing my determination, he wisely rested me on the bed and stripped hastily, pulling what I assumed was protection from his pocket and resting it on the nightstand.
Gathering me into his arms again, he returned me to his lap, where I instantly sought the slide of skin-on-skin. My pace was frantic, as if Griffin might disappear or change his mind without notice.
“Slow baby, let me love you right,” he whispered, an enticement.
“Next time,” I returned impatiently, beyond reason. It was time—I couldn’t wait another millisecond.
Unwilling to be rushed, he belted an arm around my hips, effectively locking my body to his, and tangled his fingers in my hair. He moved sinuously, teasing me while coating himself with the evidence of my longing. When I was on the edge and delirious, he lay back, my mouth following his like a magnet.
He angled away from me to reach for the nightstand and returned with protection. I snatched the foil packet from his hand and tossed it over my shoulder before moving to resume our kiss, but he stopped me.
“Lo, safety first.”
“It’s covered,” I said factually. I had not missed a single day taking my pill in five years. I knew I was clean and had no doubt Griffin would have mentioned if he wasn’t. He would never put me at risk. “I don’t want anything between us. I want to feel you…I need to know it’s you.”
“You’ll be the first,” he said, reaffirming my confidence.
“You too,” I said, moved that we could share the experience.
I tilted my hips so he was perfectly aligned, reveling in the moment of anticipation. With unhurried movement he eased into me, filling more than just my body with his painstaking tenderness. It was overwhelming, the joining of body, mind, and heart. Once I adjusted to him, he followed my lead, masterfully mirroring the rhythm and pace I set from above, aiding my rise and fall with his hands on my behind. He watched me as if I were a miracle he couldn’t tear his eyes from, which I’m certain was similar to my own gaze. Our eyes never broke contact, a tether keeping me in the present, temporarily erasing the past.