by Amanda Boone
“Devon.” I needed him. The ache between my legs was unbearable, and I wanted him there. “I want you in me.”
He jerked my lower body onto his waist so my hips were off the bed and tilted toward his mouth. With a rough yank, he had my legs in the air and my pants coming off. My panties were ripped away and tossed across the room. “You didn’t have any patience last time, either. We’ll have to work on that.”
I was completely bare in front of him, and he was still fully dressed. It’d played out that way before, too. I leaned up on one elbow so I could grab his shirt. He pushed my hand away and I pouted. “I want to see you.”
“Eventually.” Devon wrapped his arm around my hips and lifted me even higher, until just my shoulders and head were on the bed. My core was spread out lewdly in front of his face and my legs were dangling over his shoulders.
I let out a high-pitched squeak and used my arms to support myself at the strange angle. “Devon! What are you—”
He lowered his mouth to my sex and separated the lips with a strong lick. He moved his tongue around until he’d touched and teased every part of me.
I gave up bracing myself as my muscles turned to jelly. Every sensation flooding me from Devon’s mouth pooled in me until I felt like I was going to burst. My toes curled and my thighs shook, but just when I thought I was going to have an amazing orgasm, Devon pulled back to just small, teasing licks.
“Patience, Amanda.” Devon’s deep voice vibrated so close to my clit that my body jerked in his arms. He blew a warm breath out and kissed the side of my thigh. “It’ll be even better when you finally come.”
He tortured me like that for so long, I eventually begged him to finish. My whole body was shaking, and I’d never felt so desperate in my entire life. Finally, he attached his mouth to my clit, and with one flick of his tongue, I was crashing into one of the strongest orgasms I’d ever had.
I convulsed in his arms as my body tried to squeeze in on itself. A scream tore from my mouth, and I twisted around in Devon’s arms until he finally put me down on the bed.
It felt like days had passed before I could open my eyes and focus again. Devon was there, kneeling in front of me, with a smirk on his face. I simultaneously felt the urge to slap him and beg him to never stop what he’d just done.
I became aware of my state, spread out and covered in a sheen of sweat. My skin was red and heated. I tried to close my legs, but Devon put a hand on my thigh to stop me.
“I like seeing you like this.” His hand trailed down to my knee and then my foot before he moved it up my other leg. “Plus, we’re nowhere near done.”
17.
I’d lost track of how many times I came before Devon lost an article of clothing. He was demanding of my body and only undressed when I begged him to. The man had control like no one I’d ever seen before.
“I want to feel you in me, Devon. I need it.”
He sat back and pulled me into his lap. His naked body rubbed against mine, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to keep him there. “Are you sure?”
I kissed him and felt more flutters in my stomach. “Yes. I’ve been sure.”
He grabbed the condom he’d set out at some point earlier and rolled it onto himself. His hands were on my hips, lifting me and then sliding me down onto his cock without any further conversation. His breath was shaky as he buried his face in the crook of my neck and shoulder.
I gasped when our bodies finally touched, when he was fully buried inside me. It wasn’t as if I’d ever been able to forget how full he made me feel, but it was different feeling it again. I tried to flex my muscles around him and it was nearly impossible. I let my head fall back and I cried out his name.
Devon’s arms were wrapped around my back, and he held me tighter as he shifted to rock his hips into me. He grunted when the movement tightened my body around him even more. “Fuck, I’ve missed you on me.”
I ran my hands over his shoulders and into his hair. I felt out of control and on the edge of something big. My body pulsed everywhere, until I felt like a one giant nerve ending.
“Kiss me.” When his lips touched mine, I sighed. I was pretty sure I’d found heaven. I locked my ankles behind his back and then lifted my hips so I could ride him.
His kisses turned hotter and more urgent. He grabbed my hips and used them to set his own pace. He moved my body faster and harder until I was screaming out for him. Devon’s mouth moved down my chin and chest until his was biting at the top of my breasts and then my neck.
I dug my nails into his shoulders and held on while he controlled my body. I lost myself in the sensations taking over. The feelings of him around me and in me, the sounds of our panting and skin slamming together, the way my vision blurred at the edges when he hit a certain spot. It was all so much.
Devon’s bruising grip on my hips turned harder after a while, and his eyes squeezed shut. I moaned his name, knowing he was close to losing control. Devon losing control was a beautiful sight.
He let go of my hips and reached a hand between our bodies so he could roll my clit between his fingers. The feelings were overwhelming, and I was immediately slammed with an orgasm. I tightened my body around him and held on while sledge hammers of pleasure wracked my body.
Devon thrust into me once more before stilling and letting out an animalist shout as he came. His arms wrapped around me, smashing me to his chest as he slowly came down.
My body trembled as he pulled out of me and then leaned back to check on me. He ran his hands over my face and down my arms. “You okay?”
I nodded dreamily. “I’m done for the night. If you could just put me in my bed?”
He kissed my forehead and chuckled. “You are in your bed.”
I looked around and nodded. “It seems I am.”
“Come on. Let me get you cleaned up and then I’ll tuck you in.” Devon did as he said, but instead of leaving he climbed into bed behind me and wrapped me in his arms. “Don’t yell at me in the morning about this.”
*****
I didn’t yell and Devon didn’t leave. We spent the next day in bed, only taking breaks to let Moo-Key out and find food for all of us. I’d lost my mind and decided at some point that I didn’t need to find it for a few days. I’d never had an orgasm steal my common sense, but Devon was something different.
The stag and doe party happened without a hitch, and I even managed to keep my hands to myself in front of our friends and his family. There was a nagging anxiety clawing at the back of my brain, but I blocked everything out for a chance to spend a couple of days wrapped up in Devon.
Before I knew it, the wedding was right around the corner. I’d spent my days getting Sara and Justin’s wedding planned out and my nights losing myself with Devon. I waited for the night that the sex fell short of what it could be so I could call it off, knowing we’d used each other to our fullest extent. That night never happened, though. Sex with Devon never got boring or old.
If I thought about it too much, I’d work myself into a frenzy and decide to break it off, only to change my mind the moment I saw Devon.
The closer the wedding got, the worse my anxiety got about the whole thing. I woke up one morning and realized that I’d gotten used to him sleeping next to me. On the rare occasion that he didn’t stay over, I tossed and turned all night long. I’d raced to the bathroom and gotten sick because I’d let myself grow accustomed to him. I needed him in my bed at night to be comfortable.
It wasn’t okay, and it wasn’t smart. I knew better, but that hadn’t stopped me from slipping up. Since Max, I’d never let myself stay with the same man overnight, much less for more than one night. Devon had me all mixed up. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that it wasn’t going to end well.
18.
The wedding was just a few days away. I wasn’t focused at all. I was operating on instinct at work, and it’d only gotten me so far before I’d messed up. I was staring at the chair covers for the wedding and the
y were all wrong. Instead of burlap and lace there was brown silk and cream tiebacks. It was so wrong.
I shoved the sample back into the box and screamed in frustration. I’d never made such a colossal mistake before. I kicked the box away from me and rested my head on my knees. I knew I could get it fixed, but that wasn’t the point. I’d gotten so caught up in Devon and worrying about the situation with Devon that I wasn’t paying attention to the things that mattered around me.
The devil himself showed up at that moment, wiping dirt off his jeans with one of my kitchen towels. He’d been out back with Moo-Key, fixing up a pen for some chickens of my own. Hopefully chickens that weren’t rabid.
A wave of panic hit me, and I stood up and paced around in a tight circle. “I don’t watch chickens, Devon.”
He raised an eyebrow and sat the towel down on my couch. “Okay? I thought you said you wanted a couple?”
I had said that. I’d said it after a long love-making session, and it’d seemed like something I should want. Chickens and maybe a little pig. A complete family of animals. While I’d said it, I’d been picturing Devon there to take care of them. I’d been insane, blinded by the same stupid thing my mom had been blinded by.
“I don’t want fucking chickens!”
He held up his hands and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and took a long pull before facing me again. “Okay. I’ll take the pen down tomorrow.”
“You can’t tomorrow. You have the last fitting for the wedding and then the bachelor party.”
He blew out a big breath. “Fine. I’ll take it down the day after the wedding.”
“No! Take it down now. I want it gone.”
He chugged the rest of his beer and slammed the bottle down on the counter. “What the hell is this really about, Amanda?”
I tried to lift one of the boxes, but it was too heavy. I’d forgotten that he’d had to carry them all inside. I stood back up and kicked it instead. “I ordered the wrong chair covers! In my entire career I’ve never ordered the wrong chair covers!”
Devon frowned. “You’re yelling at me about the chicken pen because of chair covers?”
“No! Yes!” I stopped and took a deep breath. “This isn’t working. I can’t think straight anymore.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “So, you don’t want chickens?”
I threw my hands up. “You have to leave. I can’t be with you anymore.”
“Amanda. That’s not funny.”
I busied myself with moving things around the living room. “I’m not trying to be funny. This is too much. I can’t focus. I can’t breathe. Oh, god, I can’t breathe.”
I rushed to the front door and threw it open. I still couldn’t get a good amount of air into my lungs. My chest felt like it was going to cave in.
Devon appeared in front of me with concern in his eyes. “Amanda, you’re okay. Just focus on me. Look at me. That’s it. Now, take a deep breath.”
It was working, damn him. He couldn’t fix me. I couldn’t rely on him. I backed away and put space between us. “You have to leave, Devon. I’m not cut out for this. I don’t want to sleep with you anymore.”
The look on his face was like a punch in the gut. He didn’t bother hiding his pain. “What are you talking about? Things are going good with us. I know you’ve been a little distant, but I thought it was just stress with the wedding.”
“Stop it! Stop being so fucking sweet. You’re not perfect, Devon! One of these days you’ll mess up and I’ll be left here to turn into my mother. I’m not her.”
“Whoa, Amanda. Hang on a second. I feel like I’m coming into this rodeo halfway into the show. Just calm down, baby. Talk to me and we’ll figure this out.”
I grabbed whatever was closest to me and threw it at him. Thankfully, it was only one of Moo-Key’s tennis balls. “I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to figure this out. I want you to leave me alone. I want to be alone!”
Devon dodged the ball and glared at me. “Amanda, stop it. Shit. You’re being crazy right now.”
I grabbed the next thing closest and threw it at him. That time it was a candle. It smashed into the wall behind him when he ducked. “Get out! This is done. I don’t need you. I don’t need you at all!”
“Goddammit, Amanda! Calm down.”
“Get out! Get out, right now! Just go!”
Devon grabbed his truck keys and moved toward the door, never turning his back to me. “How about you call me when you come down from whatever this is.”
The next thing I threw smashed into the door just as he closed it. One of the vases for Sara’s centerpieces. Great.
19.
Miserable didn’t begin to describe how I felt. A festive bachelorette party was going on in front of me, and I didn’t feel anything but dread. I’d ruined my life. I’d let my guard down and Devon Steele had wiggled his way in. He was all I could think of. I’d cried myself to sleep every night since he’d left. I’d waited by the phone for him to call. I’d cried when I’d given a speech for the party. I was a wreck.
No matter what I did, I couldn’t get over it. People were staring at me as the night dragged on. I was the only sad sack in the place. The men were getting drunk at Justin’s house and we were at Hank’s. I’d rented the entire place for Sara and drinks were flowing.
Sara was drunk and dancing around the middle of the bar, telling everyone about how amazing Justin was. I couldn’t have been further from her, mentally. I was hiding at the bar, nursing the same shot of whiskey I’d ordered at the beginning of the night. I didn’t need to drink. I didn’t want to know what I’d want to do with alcohol in my system. I already wanted to run over to Justin’s to find Devon and apologize.
That was the worst part. I didn’t feel less panicked since kicking Devon out. I felt worse than ever. I was jumpy and snappy with everyone around me. I wanted to call him and tell him to come back. I wanted to tell him that I was wrong to do what I did. My head buzzed with everything I wished I’d said and everything I wished I hadn’t said.
I thought that once he was gone, I’d feel peace. I would be out of danger of being like my mom or having another situation like Max come up. I knew in my heart that Devon would never do that to me. He was a good man.
I dropped my head onto the bar and groaned. I was going crazy.
“Good god, Amanda. What is wrong with you?” Sara sat down next to me at the bar and slapped me on the back. “I’m getting married tomorrow! Why aren’t you excited?”
I lifted my head and tried to contain my glare. She’d slapped the hell out of my back. “I am so excited. I just had a long night.”
“Come on. Dance with me.”
I pulled my hand free from hers. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Sara.”
She grabbed my face and pulled me close to hers. “What’s wrong?”
I sighed. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn’t admit to anything out loud. It was too embarrassing. “Nothing’s wrong. Why don’t you get back out there and have fun?”
She patted my face and grinned. “You’re going to be here one day. Devon really likes you. He destroyed Max. He even drove an hour to get you chickens that were guaranteed to be tame with people.”
Tears filled my eyes and I looked away. “Let’s not talk about that right now.”
“I don’t know why you won’t give him a chance, but I think you’re really missing an opportunity there.”
I realized what she’d said before and grabbed her arm before she could leave. “What do you mean about Max?”
She laughed. “Go ask him yourself.”
I stood up and nodded. “You know what? I think I will.”
She cheered for me and slapped my ass when I moved past her. “You go get your man!”
I made my way out of the bar and to my car. I didn’t head toward Devon, though. I drove home with the intention of crying myself to sleep again. I just needed to be away from people.
&nbs
p; Mrs. Wilkens was coming out of my house when I pulled into the driveway. She saw me getting out of the car and walked over. “I just put Moo-Key inside. Henry’s on his way over. We’re going to watch movies and make out.”
I wanted to laugh, but my eyes just watered instead. “I’m glad you’re happy.”
She put her hands on her hips and frowned at me. “I can see you’re still being stupid.”
Shock hit me hard. “What?”
“You kicked that man out of here like he’d stolen your favorite panties. You’re burying your head in the sand for some silly reason and you’re sad about it. Henry and I heard you some nights. When you had that window open in the kitchen? We could hear the sex, which wasn’t proper of you, but we also heard you laughing. You like him.”
I choked on a sob. “I can’t do it.”
She shook her head. “I knew your momma, Amanda. I know she was crazy as the day is long. She let a no-good man ruin her. She ignored you and you had to raise yourself.”
I sat down roughly on the porch and shoved my hands in my hair. “I like him too much. I messed up orders and I felt like my skin was going to crawl off all the time. I’m going to be just like her, hitting Moo-Key because he wants or needs more than I’m able to give, which is really anything at all. I can’t do it. I can’t be her.”
Fat tears landed on my knees, and I wiped them away angrily. “What if I can’t stop it? Or what if I turn Devon into Max?”
She ran her bony hand over my head and tsk-ed. “I don’t know anything about this Max character, but I know that you’re not your mother. She was an idiot. You’re a smart woman with a good head on her shoulders. Don’t miss out on something amazing because you’re being a pussy.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Your language has gotten atrocious.”
She flicked my nose and backed toward her house. “Get your man. Don’t let someone else come along and scoop him up. From your screaming, I’d say he has a long line of women behind him, waiting on you to stumble. Plus, I saw him with his shirt off. God bless. That man was built extra special.”