If the servant believes it is the master who is making unreasonable assumptions, the servant should respectfully initiate a direct conversation about the issue. While such misunderstandings may be due to ignorance of the servant’s experience, they often indicate the master has made little effort to make their expectations clear or to assess the capabilities of the servant. Sometimes this comes from an unspoken desire to punish or berate the servant, or a misguided attempt at “training”, both of which suggest a relationship dynamic that many service-oriented submissives will find they are unsuited for.
Fundamental Service Skills
Remedial Skills:
Show up on time.
Obey instructions under direct supervision.
Ask for clarification of orders if they are unclear to you.
Take constructive criticism without emotional outbursts.
Be present with someone, without interfering with what they are doing or requiring constant attention.
Honestly report your mistakes and errors in a timely manner.
Remain silent when told to shut up.
Basic Skills:
Obey instructions without supervision.
Assess whether or not your performance meets a specified standard.
Adjust your performance of a given task based on time and resources available.
Estimate time required to reasonably accomplish multiple tasks.
Gracefully handle interruption of your work.
Adjust to changes in your routine.
Concentrate on a task despite distractions.
Use reasonable problem-solving skills.
Complete routine tasks on a specified schedule, with basic instructions.
Remember a list of tasks, writing it down if needed, without prompting.
Research and learn a simple unfamiliar task with minimal instruction.
Assess when literal interpretation of an order is not appropriate due to unforeseen circumstances.
Offer a concise and accurate summary of events, without opinions, suggestions, commentary, or excessive bias.
Create and implement a backup plan for foreseeable failures.
Respectfully express a contradictory point of view.
Respectfully bring potential problems or oversights to the master’s attention.
Accept criticism gracefully, in private and in public.
Maintain your own health and emotional well-being, with minimal instruction, asking for assistance when appropriate.
Advanced Skills:
Anticipatory service – know enough about your master’s preferences to make accurate assumptions about services they might want, but have not yet asked for.
Supervise other servants, in accordance with specified rules of behavior.
Train other servants in specific tasks and skills.
Coordinate complex tasks involving multiple people.
Find and hire paid professionals.
Independently develop and implement a plan to achieve a complex goal specified by the master.
Independently add useful skills to your repertoire.
Housework
Following the example of Jack McGeorge, we think of “clean” and “tidy” as two distinct concepts. Cleaning is removing dirt, washing surfaces, dusting, etc. Tidying is putting things where they belong and ensuring everything is in order. It is entirely possible to do one without the other. If there is limited time available, tidying a space frequently improves its usability more than cleaning. Alternately, if the servant doesn’t know where things go, or the master prefers to keep things lying around, the servant can clean without tidying.
Remedial Skills:
Remove trash, dirty laundry, and dirty dishes from a living space without unnecessarily disturbing other items.
Clean specified surfaces when provided with appropriate tools and products, and basic instructions.
Put items where they belong, when given basic instructions.
Clean up spills in a reasonable manner, without prompting.
Empty wastebaskets and replace trash bags, without prompting.
Sort items into easily identifiable, unambiguous categories.
Vacuum and sweep the floor.
Wash dishes by hand and use a dishwasher in a reasonable manner.
Basic Skills:
Select appropriate tools and cleaning products for different surfaces and use them appropriately.
Return specified items to where they belong, on an ongoing basis, without prompting.
Keep specified floors and surfaces clean on an ongoing basis, without prompting.
Keep dishes washed and put away on an ongoing basis, without prompting.
Put away items in a moderately organized living space, making reasonable assumptions about where items go, with minimal instruction.
Organize a specified area, given basic instructions.
Keep the entire interior of the home clean and tidy on an ongoing basis, according to basic instructions.
Advanced Skills:
Keep the interior of the home clean and tidy on an ongoing basis, without prompting.
Organize specified areas with minimal instruction.
Care for furniture, dishes, and surfaces which require special treatment.
A Note On Keeping House
While some masters insist on a house being kept according to a very strict standard, in many power-dynamic relationships, the servant is far more concerned with the cleanliness of the house than the master. For whatever reason, some masters put a very low priority on housework, and prefer to allocate their servant’s time elsewhere. This is often the case with Raven, and when Joshua has talked to other servants in a similar position, all have struggled with feeling like a failure for not keeping the house “clean enough”. Often there is a surprising amount of shame about what other people will think of the servant, or what the servant’s mother would say about it. Please refer to the First Rule of Service, and know that you have Joshua’s sympathy, at least. Masters in this position should not give in to any pressure the servant attempts to exert regarding the issue, as it sets a very bad precedent. After the priorities have been firmly established, the master might consider allowing the servant to clean the house in their “free time”. Raven generally considers cleaning to be a “hobby” of Joshua’s, not a service.
That said, Joshua recommend two books to servants passionate about housekeeping, or hesitantly approaching housekeeping for the first time. The first is Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson. Not only is this a very comprehensive reference, Mendelson’s attitude towards housekeeping is delightful. If nothing else, the introduction provides a wonderful example of someone who approaches housekeeping as an enjoyable and rewarding activity, not some dreaded obligation to be finished as quickly as possible. She provides a great deal of information for the absolute beginner, but also detailed reference information and advanced techniques appropriate for more experienced folks.
It is a wonderful book for the detail-oriented servant whose master has provided ample time for housekeeping, but distressingly little detail about how the house should be kept. If a servant would really like diagrams to show the proper method for folding underpants, this is the book to get. It is essential however, that the servant not become so invested in doing things “by the book” that they disregard the master’s preferences.
Joshua’s second recommendation is Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life by Margaret Kim Peterson. Peterson is a Christian who finds the virtues of hospitality and service beautifully embodied in the daily work of feeding, clothing, and otherwise caring for a family and home. This book does not contain housekeeping techniques, but is a passionately and thoughtfully written personal exploration of housekeeping as a spiritual path.
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bsp; Home Maintenance
Remedial Skills:
Change light bulbs.
Paint fences or walls where precision is not required, when given detailed instructions.
Use a screwdriver and hammer in a safe and reasonable manner.
Basic Skills:
Unclog a drain or toilet.
Replace or repair sink fixture, showerhead, toilet tank parts, accessible leaky pipe, light fixture.
Install common large appliances (washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, stove, etc.)
Paint interior walls and hang wallpaper, with minimal instruction.
Fix squeaky hinges, doors that don’t latch, drawers that stick, etc., with minimal instruction.
Assemble furniture from a kit and put up shelving.
Hang a picture.
Consistently drive a nail straight.
Have a well-stocked toolbox.
Use common power tools (circular saw, electric sander, power drill) confidently.
Patch drywall.
Clean gutters.
Clean the exterior of a house.
Advanced Skills:
Install a toilet, sink, or tub.
Basic carpentry and furniture repair.
Basic construction, drywall, framing, roofing, concrete, etc.
Basics of home electrical wiring and plumbing.
Paint exterior of home.
Install and refinish flooring.
Do all needed minor maintenance and repairs on an ongoing basis, without prompting.
Evaluate the need for major maintenance and repairs on an ongoing basis, without prompting.
Find and hire professionals to handle major maintenance and repairs, with minimal instruction.
Yardwork
Remedial Skills:
Rake leaves, shovel snow, remove debris, and water plants with basic instructions.
Basic Skills:
Trim bushes, clean gutters, lay sod, spread grass seed or fertilizer, mow lawn, and spread mulch, when given basic instructions.
Weed garden and harvest vegetables, when given basic instructions.
Plant small trees, shrubs, plants and seeds, when given basic instructions.
Keep lawn mowed, leaves raked, snow shoveled, etc. on an ongoing basis without prompting.
Use a gas powered tiller and string trimmer. Drive a ride-on lawnmower or garden tractor.
Advanced Skills:
Plant, maintain and harvest garden on an ongoing basis, with minimal instruction.
Maintain lawn on an ongoing basis, with minimal instruction.
Use a chainsaw and a hand saw. Remove dangerous limbs from trees. Split firewood.
Simple landscaping, including small walls and walkways.
Prune trees, hedges, vines and roses correctly.
Laundry
Remedial Skills:
Wash and dry your own clothing without damage.
Fold, hang, and put away clothing in a reasonable manner.
Basic Skills:
Separate clothes by color and wash at the appropriate temperature.
Make reasonable assumptions about what items are not machine washable.
Follow care instructions on clothing labels, like “dry flat” or “warm iron only”.
Hang laundry on a line securely and neatly.
Iron basic clothing items (shirts, pants, straight skirts) at the appropriate temperature, without damaging them.
Neatly and uniformly fold clothing and linens, including awkward items like fitted sheets.
Hand-wash delicate items, such as lingerie.
Sew on lost buttons and make minor repairs.
Understand the dry-cleaning process, and know a good dry-cleaner in your area.
Advanced Skills:
Remove difficult stains and use appropriate laundry additives.
Iron complex clothing, and use starch/sizing appropriately.
Clean items that require specialized techniques.
Mend and hem most types of clothing.
Cooking
Remedial Skills:
Prepare packaged food according to the instructions on the package.
Understand nutritional information and ingredients lists on packaged foods.
Make toast, boil pasta, cook an egg, assemble a sandwich, and make coffee and tea reasonably well.
Buy and serve take-out food, with non-disposable plates and flatware.
Use common kitchen appliances: microwave, toaster, coffee maker, blender, mixer, food processor, dishwasher.
Without fear of injury, cook on a gas or electric stove, chop vegetables, grate cheese, and remove hot items from the oven at a specified time.
Set a table for an informal dinner, in a reasonable manner.
Load a dishwasher and wash dishes by hand, in a reasonable manner.
Basic Skills:
Prepare at least ten different meals suitable for everyday dinner.
Prepare a few different fancy meals, for special occasions.
Make a few different desserts, including pie and cake.
Confidently cook new foods using a recipe.
Open wine and beer bottles that don’t have screw-tops.
Debone raw chicken; carve turkey and large cuts of meat.
Understand safe food handling procedures.
Shop for groceries on an ongoing basis, given basic instructions.
Attractively arrange food on a plate.
Set a table attractively for a special occasion, not necessarily formal.
Serve plates and pour beverages gracefully.
Prepare a reasonable meal in a poorly stocked and equipped kitchen.
Advanced Skills:
Prepare meals daily, without prompting.
Cook for 30 or more people.
Prepare elaborate multi-course dinners.
Bake bread.
Thorough knowledge of different wines, beers, and liquors, including what goes with what, and how to prepare several mixed drinks.
Thorough knowledge of a specific regional cuisine.
Specialized diets: vegetarian, vegan, diabetic, celiac, allergies, etc.
Canning, drying, and other food preservation.
Cook comfort foods just like the master’s mother/grandmother.
Shopping and Errands
Remedial Skills:
Stand in line to pay for items.
Resist impulse buys.
Estimate purchase totals and make change.
Buy groceries and other household purchases given detailed instructions.
Know good stores for clothing of your gender, appropriate to your social group and budget.
Basic Skills:
Know good stores in your master’s area for a variety of basic products.
Understand price-per-unit-costs and be able to compare the prices of differently sized products.
Save receipts and keep track of expenditures.
Interact effectively with store personnel in order to find items, make special requests, or resolve problems.
Find consumer research about available brands and styles of a given product.
Keep certain items stocked on an ongoing basis.
Find and organize coupons, locate sales, and other bargain-hunting strategies.
Shop for and compare products online.
Find specialty stores for products you are not familiar with.
Know good stores for clothing of the other gender, appropriate to your social group, and be reasonably comfortable shopping there alone.
Understand how women’s, men’s, and children’s clothing and shoes are sized.
Select appropriate gifts and cards
for a variety of people and occasions.
Make reasonable decisions about substitutions for a product that is unavailable.
Advanced Skills:
Shop for specialty items, such as stock for a business.
Shop in areas where foreign language usage is necessary.
Haggle or negotiate for the best price, where appropriate.
Automotive
Remedial Skills:
Have a driver’s license, and be able to drive reasonably safely.
Drive in an unfamiliar area, when given detailed instructions.
Refuel the car as needed, without prompting.
Have a general idea about what sort of routine maintenance a car needs, and where to go to get these services.
Understand the local legal requirements for having a car registered, inspected, and insured.
Basic Skills:
Drive safely without prompting, obeying all relevant traffic laws, including speed limit.
Parallel park confidently.
Drive a manual transmission.
Modify driving to account for road condition, low visibility, weather, etc.
Responsibly and accurately assess your ability to drive when overtired, emotionally distressed, or under the influence of any mind-altering substance (including prescription and non-prescription medication).
While driving, be aware of any warning lights, unusual sounds, or change in handling of the vehicle, and respond appropriately.
Resolve common driving emergencies (flat tire, minor accident, car won’t start) without assistance from your master.
Change the oil, check fluids, replace wiper blades, check tire pressure, and change a flat tire.
Do simple automotive repairs when given proper tools and detailed instructions.
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