I gently touched his bandaged hands. ‘We’re all done here.’
He looked at me, his eyes sad as I wondered if my words were about more than just his hands. Was Quentin finally done with me?
He pulled himself together and stood. ‘I’ll go get cleaned up and sleep on the couch,’ he said.
I nodded, taking that as my cue. I put away the medical supplies and headed for the bedroom I’d claimed as mine while he stood in the middle of the living room, half watching me, half staring aimlessly.
I paused before closing the bedroom door and caught his eye. ‘When you saw Gus and me kiss, you said you could tell what he felt for me?’
He clenched his jaw. ‘I could. Clear as day.’
I nodded. ‘I noticed you never mentioned if you could tell what I felt for him.’
Something in his eyes softened. Something that made me hold out hope that there was still a chance. That maybe I hadn’t ruined him completely.
And I realised in that moment that even if I couldn’t get him back to me, I would do whatever it took to give Quentin back to himself.
Seventeen
Gus and Travis stumbled in loudly at around 3 a.m.
I lay in bed, still wide awake, as I listened to them knock over furniture and start clanking about in the kitchen.
When I heard voices, I moved to the door.
‘Let’s get this over with. Just do it. Take your best shot,’ Gus slurred loudly. I could almost see the sway of his body through his voice.
Christ.
I threw my sweater on over my singlet and grabbed the door handle, figuring things were about to get messy.
‘Go to bed, Gus.’ It was Quentin’s voice. Strong. Commanding. Leaving absolutely no room for argument.
‘What happened to you?’ This came from Travis, who was also clearly intoxicated. Good to know they’d been having a merry time. ‘Where’s Maggie?’ he snapped. I could hear him moving across the living room. Deciding I’d simply had enough for one night, I quickly leaped under the covers and closed my eyes just as the door banged open.
Footsteps neared and a hand clumsily pushed the hair back from my face as I worked hard to keep my breathing shallow and slow.
‘Is she okay?’ Gus asked from somewhere further away.
‘Of course she’s okay! I would never hurt her!’ Quentin. Vehement.
‘She looks fine,’ Travis said from beside me.
‘Then leave her be,’ Gus slurred. ‘If she wakes up, she’ll be pissed. She barely sleeps these days as it is.’
‘And how the hell do you know that?’ Quentin snapped just before I heard my door close softly.
I opened my eyes slowly, making sure I was alone again before I catapulted out of bed and shuffled back to the door to listen.
‘I know because I’ve slept in the same place as her since we got her out, Quentin. I’ve heard her pacing the hall every night to avoid closing her eyes and then, when she’s too exhausted to fight it, I’ve sat up and listened to her scream her way through nightmare after nightmare. That’s how I know.’
I heard a large thump and grabbed for the doorknob again.
‘Jesus Christ!’ Travis huffed, as if caught between shock and laughter. ‘Did you see that? He just fell right over. Passed out on his feet!’
‘Just get him away from me,’ Quentin warned.
I heard some mumbling that I couldn’t make out and then the sound of scuffling noises, which I figured was Travis dragging Gus into one of the bedrooms. At least, I hoped that was what I was hearing. Either way, I wasn’t going out there, so I got back into bed and settled in for the nightmares everyone seemed to know about.
At some point during the night, when the montage of faces – the negs I’d turned my back on in order to save my father – was almost overwhelming, I felt something like a force field go up around me, shielding me from the worst of it until gradually the images faded and I emerged from the dream to feel something warm wrapped around me, holding me tight.
In the morning, I was alone.
But I woke with a sense of resolve.
I couldn’t be the person everyone wanted. I could only be me. And right now, the only version of me I could cope with was the one who got things done. It was game day. Tonight I’d be going back into the tunnels. From here on out, I needed to stay in control, otherwise people I cared about were going to die.
With that thought, I got up, dressed in leggings and a long T-shirt and headed out to the kitchen. Quentin was passed out on the sofa. Travis was stirring a cup of coffee at the table.
‘Got one of those for me?’ I asked.
He passed me his and got up to make another.
‘I expected you to be dead to the world for a few more hours at least,’ I said.
Travis shrugged. ‘I never sleep in.’
I nodded, sipping my coffee. ‘What time are your men going to be here?’
‘Not until around 2 p.m. I didn’t want to give them too much time to think about what was going down.’
I nodded again. Travis was a pro.
‘You going to take me down, Travis?’
He paused from dropping a spoonful of sugar into his cup and put down the spoon. ‘You’ve got some of the most backwards relationships going on around here and you’re worried about me flipping on you?’ He shook his head. ‘I’ve given you my word.’
I stared at him. ‘Have you given anyone else your word?’
He pressed his lips together, irritated by the accusation. ‘I haven’t spoken to your father since I gave him my final piece of intel after that night on Roosevelt.’
I scoffed. ‘Except for when you went to get your money zips, right?’
‘Wrong, Maggie.’ His eyes darted to the side. ‘I never collected on the job. If I could go back, I never would’ve done it. Believe what you want, but I’m sorry for what happened to you and for the part I played in it.’
Lost for words, I nodded and stood. ‘I’m … I’m going for a run,’ I said, backing away towards the elevator.
Once outside, I felt better. Being outdoors was officially my favourite place now. If I’d had it my way, I would’ve had a home without a roof, or better yet, had my home on a roof somewhere. The less walls and ceilings in my life, the better.
I broke into a jog and headed towards the Muay Thai centre. Master Rua took me through a light work-out in one of the back rooms while I filled him in on the basics of the plan.
‘When?’ he asked.
I opened my mouth to tell him it was tonight, but held back at the last second. ‘It’s better if you don’t know specifics.’
He wasn’t happy. First I’d refused to tell him where our new place was for fear that he was being monitored – despite his assurances he’d checked the centre for bugs – and now this.
‘You need more help than black-market thieves,’ he said.
I shrugged, moving through my exercises. ‘It’s the best I have, and now that Quentin has left his family I can’t wait around. They’ll come for him soon. I need to get him out of Arlington sooner rather than later.’
‘You’re thinking too much about this boy and not enough about staying alive.’
I jabbed, he blocked. ‘Not true. I’m thinking about making things right.’ Jab, jab. ‘And this is going to work.’
Master Rua took it easy on me, insisting I keep up my strength. Before I left the centre I gave him the two money zips that had been bugged with action alerts. I hated parting with so much money, but the other zips had enough on them to keep us going for a while if we were careful, and I couldn’t take the risk. I warned Master Rua that trackers would be activated as soon as he tried to use the zips, but if he could find a way to de-bug them, he was welcome to the money. He didn’t seem interested in the idea and assured me he could dispose of them safely. I wasn’t surprised the money didn’t tempt him.
He pulled me into a quick hug before handing me a bag of my favourite breakfast pastries. ‘Fight hard, Maggie. If you
insist on taking the fight down to their level, there will be no negotiations, no second chances, you fight only to win.’
I nodded, swallowing hard at his words. I knew he was telling me that tonight I’d have to be willing to cross that final line, to kill someone. But still, I wasn’t sure if I could accept that killing was the answer.
Before I pulled away, Master Rua pressed something else into my hand.
I looked down to see an envelope and glanced at him questioningly.
‘A courier brought it to me today. Made me sign for it.’
I nodded, looking at my name written on the front. It was Sam’s writing.
As soon as I got back to the loft, I went straight to my room, closed the door and ripped open the envelope.
Hey little sis,
I know you said no contact, but I needed you to know we are safe. We’ve got the hazers and are staying well hidden. We’d been moving about every few days just in case, but we’ve decided to settle in the latest place for a couple of weeks. So far there has been no trouble.
Mom’s finding things hard, knowing you’re out there and all alone. Every time we move she begs for us to go back and get you, but I always say no. I think she’s starting to hate me and, well, I’m starting to hate me too. I know I promised you I’d be back, but something tells me you’re better off without us there for now.
Just come find us soon.
I’ve got one of those old-fashioned phones you told me to get. Had to pay an arm and a leg for it. Anyway, I’ve written the number below. I know you won’t call until it’s safe. Just … call soon, okay?
We miss you, Mags.
Sam.
There was a knock on my door.
‘What?’
‘Maggie, you might want to come out here.’ It was Travis, clearly speaking at a level that was only intended for me to hear.
Rolling my eyes, I tucked the letter into my pocket – along with my concerns that Sam and Mom were taking a risk staying in the one place – and went out to the living room. Gus looked like he’d just woken up and was helping himself to a glass of water in the kitchen.
He saw me just as the bathroom door at my end of the long room opened and Quentin walked out dressed for the day, a towel in his hand.
Quentin’s eyes went straight to me then, after a beat, moved on to Gus.
Gus cautiously walked out from behind the kitchen bench.
Quentin hung the towel over one of the chairs and met him in the middle of the open space while Travis and I watched on, not sure if we should be worried or not.
‘Quin,’ Gus said.
‘Gus,’ Quentin said. ‘Feeling better?’
‘Feeling crap, actually.’
Quin nodded. ‘But okay?’
Gus ran a hand through his bed-head hair. ‘Yeah. About last night, I don’t remember most of it, but Travis told me that you wouldn’t get into it with me. Thanks for not –’
I gasped.
Travis made a low whistling sound.
And Gus never got a chance to finish his sentence because Quentin’s fist connected with his face and sent him down in one punch.
I took a step forwards, but Quentin quickly put his hand up, halting me. ‘It’s okay. I’m done.’ He leaned over Gus. ‘I didn’t get into it with you last night because you were drunk and I knew you wouldn’t remember it.’ He smiled widely. ‘But I’m fairly certain you now have enough of your faculties back to ensure you won’t forget that if you ever touch Maggie again like you did yesterday, I won’t be stopping at one punch. Gus, this isn’t a warning, it’s a promise. I simply don’t have it in me to stand back and let that happen again. Do you understand what I’m saying?’
Gus nodded, dabbing at his bleeding lip.
Quentin dropped down onto the sofa and, seemingly satisfied, used his black-market M-Band to plug in some earphones and activate his music.
‘Man packs a punch,’ Travis said under his breath while I just watched on, open-mouthed.
I nodded, holding back the urge to scream at the world. I grabbed a tub of ice-cream from the kitchen for breakfast before returning silently to my room. I needed to stay focused.
With barely a knock, Gus let himself in a few minutes later, holding a tissue to his lip.
I put down the blueprints I’d been studying and gave him my attention.
‘I’m sorry, Maggie,’ he said, leaning against the wall.
There was a part of me that wanted to order him out of my room, to order everyone to concentrate on what we were about to do, but I found myself saying something else entirely.
‘Is it true?’
‘What?’
‘Don’t, Gus. You know what I mean. Is it true you have feelings for me?’
He winced as he dabbed at his lip again. ‘They kind of snuck up on me. You’re not the only one who hasn’t had a lot of people in their life before. Not close, at least. You and I had been loving-to-hate each other for so long that when the hate finally went away …’ Something in my throat tightened at his confession. ‘And when I found out that Kelsey never really cared, I guess I turned my attention to thoughts of …’ He looked at me. ‘I thought it would go away with time. But then you up and kissed me.’
‘So it’s my fault?’ I snapped, riding a roller coaster of emotions. I wasn’t equipped to deal with this shit.
‘No. It’s mine. I just got lost in the moment. Funny thing is …’ He looked suddenly shy.
‘What?’ I asked cautiously.
‘Well, even though I couldn’t seem to stop myself from going there in the kiss, it was more because it took me by surprise and I needed to know, you know? But when we were actually … Well, it wasn’t exactly like I imagined it would be.’ I’m pretty sure he was blushing.
I smiled. ‘I didn’t light your world on fire?’
He shifted about, but finally looked up with a quirky smile. ‘Not really, Mags.’
I snorted. ‘I’m not surprised. I don’t love you!’ I threw a pillow at him. ‘And you don’t love me either. At least not like that. I think we’re best friends and, considering we are such dysfunctional people, that makes it confusing. I mean, when you love someone enough to put everything on the line for them, risk your freedom and even your life, that’s bound to happen, right?’
Gus looked up, nodding slightly.
‘I know you’ve been hurting about Kelsey. I know you care about her and, frankly, I’m pissed that you’ve been using me as a distraction from that, but here’s the thing: I’d move heaven and earth for you, Gus, but I love Quin. Even if he can never love me again. The small amount of time I had that was filled with his love has made me an addict for life. I’ll never settle for anything else.’
‘I get it, Mags. I promise I won’t get between you two again. I’ll get my head sorted out.’
I stood up and pulled him into a rare hug. ‘I know you will. But just in case you’re ever confused again, if you try anything with me, I’m going to hit you much harder that Quentin did. We clear?’
He half laughed. ‘I have to find out what happened to Kelsey. I know what Alex told you, but … something doesn’t feel right. I know we hadn’t been together for long, and that I was supposed to be taking off, but … you’re right, I did, do, care about her. I just can’t believe she would cut me off like that.’
Gus and I sat down on the edge of the bed and, for what felt like the first time, we talked. No threats. No blackmail. Just friends. And the more he talked about his relationship with Kelsey, the more I became just as confused as him.
Why had Kelsey just tossed him aside?
Eighteen
As planned, Travis’s men showed up at 2 p.m.
I recognised one of the guys, Ned, from the night Travis had led us to Roosevelt Island – and then blown up most of it.
Ned was a stocky guy with a goofy smile. But there was something about him that held my interest. And soon enough I saw him pull Travis aside when he thought everyone else was otherwise occupied. I
watched out of the corner of my eye as he asked Travis about his well-being and whether he was okay. It left no doubt in my mind that if Travis had given Ned the nod, all hell would’ve broken loose. Ned was smart, observant and loyal. All skills we would need that night.
The next guy was all brawn and greed. The perfect combination. Hex was a martial-arts expert who walked around with a massive chip on his shoulder. He was angsty and too quick to want a piece of the action, which wasn’t ideal, but he was also driven by his desire for money and that kept him in line and stopped him from asking the wrong questions.
The last guy, Liam, was more of a mystery. He watched on silently. He was obviously intelligent and he was blanketed in muscle. The rest of the crew seemed to respect him and often asked his opinion on things, even though he rarely voiced one.
I caught him looking me over a few times and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, which only served to annoy me. On top of that, Quentin was watching from the other side of the room, looking restless.
‘I’m clear on the extraction points, but are you sure this is one of the smaller hubs?’ Travis asked, looking over the maps that would guide us to the hidden cell Gus had located.
‘More importantly, it’s one of the newest,’ Gus explained. ‘There are no guarantees, but it seems likely that it’ll contains a fresh intake of negs from the processing camps. Judging by the size on the maps, we think it’ll contain between one and two hundred, which is manageable.’ This was important given that we wouldn’t be equipped to deal with any of the larger hubs, which could hold up to a thousand prisoners.
‘And by fresh intake, you mean …’ Travis began.
‘More likely to be helpful,’ I explained.
‘And less likely to kill you with their bare hands,’ Gus added. Unnecessarily. Even if it was true.
It wasn’t that all negs were difficult. It was becoming more and more apparent that many of them weren’t even negs at all. But there was a percentage who were highly unpredictable. And for those who weren’t, being locked up underground for such a long time … well, I knew more than anyone how it could change a person.
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