by Lila Felix
“And you remembered the rose.” She picked up the pendant on the necklace. I silently thanked Nellie for remembering to give it to her.
“I stole it from your jewelry box. I wanted it to be with you today.”
“What did I do to deserve you,” She asked no one in particular.
“You loved me. You saw me and you loved me.”
She kissed me—and now when she kissed me, it was my wife kissing me and it was priceless.
“You ready to get out of here?” Reed whispered, looking up at me. She’d nixed the veil a long time ago and I was ready to nix the rest of the outfit too.
“I am. Should we sneak or should we tell them,” I spoke against her neck, right under her earlobe, where it drove her mad.
“Get me out of here now.” She panted back at me.
“Let’s go Mrs. Black.”
The End
One Year Later
Lila Felix
This was one of my favorite parts of being an author. I get to have a real relationship with my characters. They have become more than peoples’ names typed onto a manuscript. They’ve become my sons and my daughters. They are my friends and my siblings. So, like any people that I love, I go visit them. And the Black family is no exception.
I walked into the restaurant. The décor has been updated since I saw it last. I saw Sylvia flutter through the dining area into the kitchen, the door swinging behind her. Over to the left I saw them sitting around a large table. I took a moment to observe them here at their best. Owen and Nellie were cuddled close, his hand on her ever growing belly, the cocoon for their baby. Falcon and Reed, whispering secrets to each other. Maddox and Storey, conversing back and forth, always making new plans, always finding ways to create memories. Chase and Sylvia exited the kitchen together, both holding trays of steaming plates.
I walked around the hostess station and into their view. Nellie was the first to greet me, hugging my neck until I could barely breathe. That was fitting. She was my first derby girl, and would always, always be my favorite—but don’t tell the others. I was passed around the family, getting smothered by the boys and coddled by the girls. I felt at home here, among my people.
They asked me about my books, my writing, and it was a short conversation. I came here to talk to them, find out how the people, who sprung from the depths of my soul and the love in my heart, were getting on.
Chase cleared his throat and began. Sylvia and he had been helping Winston, Chase’s brother with Abbey, his estranged wife and Nixon’s mother. He moved on before I could really get into the Nixon subject. I had been concerned about Nixon for a while.
Owen took over, the proud Papa, saying how well Nellie was doing with this pregnancy. She only had three more months to go and the doctor watched her closely this time around. He gushed about baby names, mostly boy names since he so desperately wanted a son. Sylvia and Nellie moved to talking about layettes and nursery decorations.
“Lila, you have to come to the baby shower. In fact, I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” Nellie insisted.
“Of course, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it.” I answered.
I looked to Maddox and he smiled at me. He and I emailed and texted frequently. He somehow felt indebted to me for finding Storey. But he owed me no debt, it was his story, and I simply put words to his melody. He and Storey were still in school, determined to finish before they even spoke about marriage. But anyone who saw those two knew that one day they’d be together for a very long time. Maddox had worked so hard, it looked like he would be graduating a full year ahead of schedule. I thought that was part of his plan and I could see the confirmation in his signature smirk. The faster he graduated, the faster he and Storey would be married.
We continued eating and I needed to get an update from Falcon, but I already knew what was going on in their lives. Falcon and I texted every day. Sometimes it seemed more like one broken up conversation rather than several different ones. I knew that he and Reed were trying to get pregnant. But they didn’t want to steal any of Nellie’s thunder, especially with this pregnancy. Falcon was now finished with school and still handled payroll for the family, but had also started a successful tax preparation company. And Reed would soon start her sophomore year at Tulane. She and Falcon didn’t have that infamous first year of marriage, they’d been through enough and never took anything for granted. And even though I knew all of this, Falcon told it to me like I had no clue.
I didn’t want to ask so I waited until after everyone had finished dessert before delving into the subject. After I watched all forks rest on plates I asked the question, not really sure if I wanted to hear the answer. After all, when these people hurt, I hurt. When they cried, I cried. When they fell in love, I was the first to know. And when their hearts ached, I ached as if it were my own heart cracking.
“What’s going on with Nixon? He won’t take my calls and he doesn’t answer text messages. I went by the house the other day and no one was home.”
They all looked to each other and of course it was Falcon who spoke up first.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. He’s gone a little wild.”
“A little,” Owen scoffed, “He’s wilder than I ever was when I went nuts over…you know.” He almost said ‘Amy’ but was intercepted by a very fierce and pregnant Nellie.
Falcon rolled his eyes and continued, “Ever since his mom, he stays out all night, he’s screwing everything that moves, he smokes, he drinks. I went over there a couple of months ago and I swear he’d been smoking pot. We’ve all tried to intervene but it looks like something world shattering will have to happen before he ceases and desists.”
Everyone at the table was at a loss, including me. I cleared my throat, the beginnings of tears welled in my eyes.
“Is he angry or hurting?”
Falcon shrugged, “I don’t know. Either way he’s on a path of destruction.”
“I guess we’ll just have to see how it plays out.”
They all nodded in response. This was the hard part. I had to sit back and watch them suffer sometimes. And remembering that they usually came out better on the other side didn’t help one damned bit. I held in the waterworks until I got to the parking lot. But of course, someone was following me. I turned to find Mad and Storey behind me, looks of sympathy on their faces.
“Lila, it will work out. Remember how you used to worry about us?” I nodded. I had worried about those two kids constantly.
They both hugged me and I got into the car. Maddox made a motion for me to put my window down, so I did.
“Don’t stay away so long next time, Lila. We miss your mug around here.” I nodded and drove off.
But my mind would stay twisted about Nixon until I knew my son, my friend, my brother, was ok. They were created in my mind but now they were embedded in my heart. How could Nixon recover from this, and what condition would he be in on the other side?
Caught In a Jam
Nixon Montgomery Black
Three years later
She only wore pink on Sundays.
I swear, if it weren’t for coffee and Aunt Sylvia’s food, I wouldn’t survive. I actually had two coffee pots. One for home with the largest capacity carafe I could find. And another at work which I bought myself since they didn’t provide coffee. Seriously, what kind of construction site doesn’t have coffee? I woke up to it, I used it as a crutch during the day, and as soon as we got home every night I’d push the flashing red button and listen for the drip.
Tonight was especially exhausting. I worked a ten hour shift and then went to derby practice for an hour. Yes, even zebras go to practices sometimes just to keep their skills in check. But after lifting and walking all day it wasn’t my first pick of activities. We ate dinner, thanks to Sylvia I didn’t have to cook, and went through our nightly routine.
Now here I sat on living room couch alone while she slept. I was supposed to finish a slide show for my Econ class but
the longer I sat here, the more it didn’t get done. I sat back into the cushions and closed my eyes as the last sip of coffee ran down my throat. And like they did every night, my thoughts drifted to Journey.
I’d heard things through the proverbial vine, some I treasured and some I despised. I despised hearing that she’d married Justin after finishing school. But she’d given up on her dream of being a nurse in favor of the title of Mrs. Conrad; never even stepping foot in a hospital. But then again, I’d also heard she had quit school to become a stripper and Justin had moved on. Who knew what the real truth was? I’d only heard one that I really believed. That she’d decided to start some rebellion against an administrator at Duke University—now that sounded like her.
I got up and made another cup, stirring in way too much creamer, so much that my coffee was now cold. I peeked into the bedroom and she was sound asleep. When I closed the bedroom door it squeaked and she rolled over but remained dormant. It was a shame to feel this way. I felt guilty every night when I sat here alone and completely reveled in just the state of being alone with my thoughts of Journey. But I needed it and felt the withdrawals if I shied away.
I sat back on the couch and let the heels of my palms dig into my eye sockets, shutting out the light so I could focus on her. It was getting more and more difficult to remember what she looked like or how she smelled. But I remembered the little things. I remembered she called all Coke products Coke and didn’t get how some people called it Soda or Pop. She always took out one strand of hair and wrapped it around her hairband proclaiming it made her ponytail look good. She constantly stole my boxers to sleep in, even though she had a slew of boyfriends to steal from. She had a triangle of freckles on her right earlobe. I could tell the difference between her ‘pissed off’ whine and her ‘feelings hurt’ sob from oceans away.
I heard footsteps from the girl in my life as she entered the room but I wasn’t ready to let go of Journey just yet and rejoin reality. Her hands, soft and warm pulled mine from my face. I could smell the shampoo that Reed insisted I buy for her. At the time I had no clue what girls liked. I’d had to learn quickly.
She huffed out a tired but annoyed sigh at me and I opened my eyes to see red curls and freckles everywhere. She literally was covered scalp to feet in clusters of light brown freckles and I’d seen every inch of her. She wiped away tears I didn’t know were there and then wiped her fingers on my pajama pants. Before me was the most beautiful creature I’d ever laid eyes on.
She finally knew she had my attention and I knew by the smirk on her face it would be good, whatever came out of her sweet mouth.
“What is it button? It’s late.” I asked her, rewiping my face.
She batted her big eyelashes at me and put her tiny hands on her hips. “Daddy, I think I need a bunny wabbit. Parker said he has a bunny wabbit. I need one too.”
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Down ‘N’ Derby
Ache / James Carrington (Best song I’ve heard in a long time)
Electric Feel / MGMT
Silent All These Years / Tori Amos
Great Expectations / Elbow
Suit and Tie / Justin Timberlake (Falcon’s song. I had to!)
Free Fallin’ / Tom Petty
The Boys Are Back In Town / Thin Lizzy
If You Let Me Be Your Anchor / Dawes
Sweater Weather / The Neighbourhood
Anchor / Mindy Gledhill
I Am The Highway / Audioslave
1234 / Fiest
Now / Paramore
Stop The Rock / Apollo Four Forty
Alive Like This / 3D Friends
Do It For Me Now / Angels and Airwaves
No Woman, No Cry / Bob Marley
Father of Mine / Everclear
Scar Tissue / Red Hot Chili Peppers
Santa Monica / Everclear
The Fantasy / 30 Seconds To Mars
Californication / Red Hot Chili Peppers
Venice / The Lighthouse and the Whaler
Short Skirt, Long Jacket / Cake
Venice Queen / Red Hot Chili Peppers
Little Black Submarines / The Black Keys
Pin-Up / Evans Blue
Holy Roller Novacaine / Kings of Leon
My Medicine / The Pretty Reckless
Beach Monster / STRFKR
So In Love / The Soldier Thread
Your Touch / The Black Keys
A Little Death / The Neighbourhood
Sea of Love / Cat Powers
Storey’s Playlist
Love Letter / Clairey Browne and the Bangin’ Rackettes
Crazy / Patsy Cline
Walking After Midnight / Patsy Cline
She’s Got You / Patsy Cline
King of New Orleans / Better Than Ezra
Southern Girl / Better Than Ezra
Runaround Sue / Dion and the Belmonts
The Wanderer / Dion and the Belmonts
You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ / The Righteous Brothers
Fever / Peggy Lee
Sneak Peek of WICKED THING by Angeline Kace
New Adult, Coming Summer 2013
“What gives you the right? We are not together. Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
Carmen’s forehead creases, and if I were a fool, I’d say it was in pain.
Her face flushes with anger. “You’re right, Dallas.” Her words are clipped and cold. A stark contrast to the heat radiating from her. “We’re not together and I had no right. I’m sorry.” She snatches her purse off my dresser and turns to leave.
“Carmen, wait.”
She stops but doesn’t turn around.
I’m confused. She won’t let me tell her how I feel, but I’m supposed to allow her to fix the most broken part of my life? A part of me wants her to. For her to be the one who makes the broken things work. But not like this. Not when she insists on keeping things the way they are. I can’t give myself to her if she won’t accept my heart, let alone give me hers.
She marches to the door and flings it open.
I want to tell her to wait, but I still don’t know what to say. I got what I wanted; she won’t try to push me about Denton anymore. Was it worth losing whatever part of her I had?
I’m not sure it is.
Meet Dallas and Carmen this summer in WICKED THING by Angeline Kace. For more details and teasers, visit her website at www.angelinekace.com.
Please enjoy this excerpt from Rachel Higginson’s new YA Contemporary Bet in the Dark, out May, 2013.
Chapter One
I blamed this on Kelly Clarkson.
On Kelly-Freaking-Clarkson.
The angry man standing across the kitchen island looked like he was about to throttle me. I had visions of large hands gripped firmly around my neck shaking me like a rubber chicken. His eyes flashed with frustration and I cursed Kelly Clarkson straight to the grave.
Things started out so good this morning, so unbelievably, unnaturally good. I should have known better. But at the time, I woke up in my bed to the powerful chords Kelly Clarkson was belting through my radio alarm, and laid there for the length of the song just to let her words sink in.
Stronger.
In fact I started to think Kelly Clarkson was a genius. And like maybe we were these soul sisters that had survived something awful but came out on the other side of it stronger. I started to think maybe she got me….
Because the bed did feel warmer.
I did dream in color.
I wasn’t lonely when I was alone.
And best of all I was standing taller.
Well “was” as in the seriously past tense because with monster-man looming over me, pissed off and yelling about money he wanted and I definitely did not have, I wa
sn’t standing taller anymore. I was more like shrinking slowly into what I assumed would soon be the fetal position.
But this morning, even as the warm sun sifted through my bedroom window and heated my exposed skin, everything seemed possible. I felt strong enough to get out of bed today and conquer the world-or at least the closest Starbucks and my econ class.
Which come on, that’s close enough right?
And even though last week I missed a seriously important pop quiz in my post-break-up-cowering phase and now my grade was in some trouble…. and then it started raining and I happened to be wearing a white t-shirt and red bra. Who does that by the way? Me apparently, in my Kelly-Clarkson-gave-me-the-strength-to-be-a-skank-mood. And then even after I came home to my roommate on her way out, for what at the time she promised was just a bite to eat even though she was two months behind on her share of the rent, I believed today was the start of better things to come.
All thanks to Kelly Clarkson.
After setting my purse down on the counter because the entry hall table that I usually placed it on had been moved, I started to wonder if maybe Kelly Clarkson lied to me.
Well, Ok, that’s not exactly true. First I wondered if I was hallucinating. And then I ran through the possibility of being robbed, but my roommate’s casual departure quickly negated that idea.
I blinked. And blinked again. And then blinked so hard tears formed in the corners of my eyes and I felt like I was trying to be the second coming of I Dream of Jeannie. If I willed all of my furniture and belongings to reappear, they would.
But they didn’t.
And that was just the start of my disappointment.
Then there was the letter…. The one calmly explaining my roommate had a clinically diagnosed gambling addiction, and was thousands of dollars in debt. She explained that she had to sell the furniture, my furniture, to pay for rehab. Her family was insisting on it. She had a real problem. A real problem. And I needed to understand that anything she had done to hurt me was her addiction and not the real her.
Well her addiction wasn’t going to replace all of my furniture.
Her addiction wasn’t going to come up with the other half of my rent!
And her addiction really wasn’t going to explain to the man across the kitchen yelling at me that no matter who he thought I was, I did not owe him seven thousand dollars!!