Jenna’s eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“Anna told me when I called yesterday.”
“No wonder she’s so fucked up.”
Aaron looked across the stage to see Isaak speaking quietly to Anna. She nodded and then burst out into tears. Isaak hugged her to him. Her show of emotion would hopefully make the other dancers realize she wasn’t a cold-hearted bitch. The last thing she needed was the cold shoulder from the people she interacted with everyday.
“She had the ring,” Jenna said quietly. “Matt said she had it with her then gave it to him. I hope his family lets her keep it.”
“I thought they liked her.”
“They do. A lot, from what I can tell. They were excited that Ben was going to ask her. But she’s feeling guilty and avoiding them.”
“It’s not her fault.”
“I know. But I’m sure Devin is quite content to let her think it was her fault.”
“Yeah.” Aaron continued to watch Anna cry on Isaak’s shoulder. Isaak was like a father to her. It was good. She needed platonic men in her life.
“Do you need help getting your things to her place?” he asked, turning back to Jenna.
She grinned. “I could certainly use a bigger vehicle than my Miata. I hate to ask Matt. His family is supposed to be arriving today and I don’t want to take him away from them.”
“I’ll follow you back to your place and help you out after rehearsal,” Aaron said with a slight shake of the head. Her little car wouldn’t hold more than a suitcase. It was as bad as Anna’s. Girls and their little cars.
Isaak clapped his hands and Aaron hurried to his place. Anna looked more sad than angry now. He took that as a good sign.
*****
Isaak told Anna he wanted her and Travis to run through their dance, to prove to Isaak that she’d be able to handle dancing tonight. She managed to clear her mind before stepping out onto the stage.
She was prepared to get lost in the dance, as usual, but this time something clicked in her head a few steps in and she felt something she hadn’t felt before. She felt the sensuality in the music, the sweet, pain-relieving sensation, and let it take over. She danced the choreographed steps, but she used her eyes and slight changes in her body, and suddenly she realized she was seducing everyone who watched her. They were mesmerized. She saw Travis’ eyes widen at her soft gaze and felt him react as he held her and danced with her.
None of the steps changed, just the feeling behind it.
The dance ended with Anna bent over Travis’ knee, backwards, with her arm over her head and Travis bending over to her stomach. A foggy silence filled the theater.
Anna’s chest rose and fell in the silence and she became frightened that she had upset someone. She hadn’t meant to do it. It just happened.
“Holy shit, you two.” Isaak walked up to them with wide eyes and his mouth slightly ajar.
Travis stirred and helped Anna to her feet. Anna looked at Isaak nervously as he looked between the two of them with dilated eyes. She could tell that he was doing his best to tamp down his desire.
He stared at them for a moment more and then cleared his throat. “I don’t think I’ve seen that dance interpreted quite that way before.”
“I’m sorry, Isaak,” Anna said softly. “I didn’t mean to.”
Isaak shook his head. “It’s all right, Anna. It was beautiful. The, uh, reaction was unexpected, but you danced beautifully.” Isaak’s cheeks reddened slightly, which made Anna blush. “Really, Anna. It’s okay.” He smiled at her. “If you two dance like that tonight…you’ll be the talk of the town. Now, go home and rest.”
Anna nodded and went to her bag, avoiding the looks of the other dancers who had stayed to watch.
Travis knelt down next to her to gather his things. “Do you know how hard it is to dance with a hard-on, Anna?” he whispered.
She turned to apologize and saw him grinning at her. “I’m so sorry, Travis. I don’t know what happened.”
“The magic of an Elder-Mistress.” He shrugged and grinned. “I don't mind…too much. But it does make me really horny.”
Anna shrugged. “I could probably help you out with that,” she said without thinking about it. And then she did think about it and the distraction sounded nice.
He looked at her, shocked. “Anna….”
“Sex helps me feel better.”
He stared at her. “Anna, you’re grieving. I don’t want you to regret anything.”
Tears filled her eyes. “If Devin came to my place tonight he wouldn’t care if I were grieving or not. He’d have sex with me anyways. And I think you’d be a bit nicer than him.”
“Does he suck in the sack?”
Anna grimaced. “Not if he doesn’t want to.”
Isaak walked up at that moment. “Anna, has the family decided when the funeral will be?”
Anna nodded. “They were going to try for Friday.”
Isaak nodded thoughtfully. “You should go. If you want to dance in the matinee, just promise me you’ll have a good warm up on your own.”
“I do want to dance, Isaak,” she said, tears in her eyes. “Do you think that’s okay?”
He nodded. “I know you and I know your reasons, Anna. You don’t have to justify yourself to me. If anyone says anything, I will defend your decision.”
She gave him a small smile and hugged him. “Thanks.”
“Go rest. I’ll see you tonight.”
Chapter Fourteen
Anna collapsed on her bed upon returning to her apartment after rehearsal. Dancing had helped her feel better. At least for a while. Jenna and Aaron were getting Jenna’s things from her dad’s house and would be here soon.
Anna had gone home to rest, but rest eluded her. She lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. The relief that she had felt while dancing trickled out of her body like a leaking pipe, only to be replaced by the pain of Ben’s loss. She turned on her side and sobbed until she fell asleep.
Voices in the hallway woke her later. It was Jenna and Aaron. Matt, too. She rolled off her bed and walked out of her room. Jenna sat in the midst of dozens of boxes while Aaron and Matt leaned against the wall, talking.
They smiled at her when she walked in.
“How are you doing, Matt?” she asked with a weak smile.
He shrugged. “Okay. My parents are here. Katherine and Ben’s sisters are working on packing up Ben’s things. They wanted to see you if you woke up in time.”
Anna bit her lip. She didn’t want to go back down to that apartment, but she didn’t want to be rude either. She nodded and reluctantly made her way to Ben’s apartment.
She knocked on the door and a moment later, Katherine opened it. Her eyes were red and puffy. She smiled and hugged Anna, pulling her into the apartment.
“Hey, sweetheart. How ya doing?”
“Okay,” Anna answered. “Depends on the moment.”
Katherine nodded. “I understand. I found something I wanted to give you.” She took Anna’s hand and led her to Ben’s bedroom.
Anna froze at the entrance. She didn’t want to go in. Didn’t want to see his things being packed up into boxes.
Katherine pulled her inside and she saw Marcia and Ruth packing up his clothes. All his suits. He had looked so handsome in them. Tears welled in Anna’s eyes.
“Here,” Katherine said, handing her the ring box.
Anna stared at it as if it was a snake.
“He was going to ask you to marry him,” Katherine said in a cracked voice. “At the party. That’s why we were here.” She opened Anna’s hand and put the box in her hand. “He would want you to have it. I know he would.”
Anna slowly opened the box to see the diamond ring she’d seen while crying over his body. It was a beautiful round diamond solitaire that sparkled in the light.
“The police detective called this morning,” Katherine said and then swallowed. “She said that….” Anna saw the tears in Katherine’s eyes as she
cleared her throat. “His car had apparently gotten caught in something under the bridge. He’d been there since Friday night.”
Anna closed her eyes at the horrible image. She knew it wasn’t true, but the picture was gruesome nonetheless. She looked at Katherine again and felt the burden of guilt in her chest once more. “I’m so sorry, Katherine,” she whispered.
“Anna, it’s not your fault. Accidents happen. You can’t blame yourself.”
Yes, I can! Anna shouted to herself. It’s my fault your son is dead! If I hadn’t loved him.... Anna fell to the floor with a sob and couldn’t stop the wracking sounds. It’s all my fault.
Katherine put her arms around Anna and held her while she cried. Katherine’s shoulders shook as if she were crying as well. Anna's heart burned with guilt, knowing she was the one to blame for this wonderful family’s grief.
“It’s not your fault, honey,” Katherine repeated, petting her hair. “It’s not your fault.” She held Anna until her tears subsided.
“I can't keep this, Katherine. It’s…he didn’t give it to me.” She tried to hand the box back to Katherine.
“He would have,” Katherine protested pushing her hand gently away. “If…he would have, Anna. He would have wanted you to have it. I know he would.” She smiled. “You can wear it if you’d like. You were more than just a girlfriend to him. He died having found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I would have been proud to have you as a daughter-in-law.”
Anna looked at her and shook her head. “No,” she whispered. Not once she knew the truth about her.
Katherine took her hands. “Anna, Ben told me…a little bit about your argument.”
Anna looked at her wide-eyed and tried to pull away, but Katherine shook her head.
“He had forgiven you, Anna. He knew your heart. He knew it wasn’t what you wanted. He loved you. He even knew he might have to wait a while for you two to be able to marry, but he was willing to wait.”
Anna stared at her. “You know what I am?” she whispered.
Katherine stroked her hair and nodded. “I know you are a beautiful young woman who was abused and made to do things that you didn’t want to do. I know you still have to do some of those things. And I know that you loved my son, and that my son loved you.” She opened her arms and Anna crawled toward her and the two women hugged. “I will always refer to you as his fiancé, Anna. Even though he didn’t get to ask you.”
After a few minutes, she pulled back and looked at Anna. “Honey, I don’t expect you to never fall in love again. I don’t want you mourning him for the rest of your life. You are young and beautiful and will make another mother-in-law very happy someday.” She brushed Anna’s hair back from her face. “I don’t want you to feel guilty if you fall in love with another man. Ben would want you to be happy. Our family would never begrudge you love and happiness.” Anna tried to look away, but Katherine cupped her chin gently. “Anna, do you understand me?”
Anna gazed into the other woman’s eyes; so much like Ben’s. Anna nodded, but swore to herself that she would never fall in love again. Devin would resent and kill them, too. No more distractions. Ever.
“What time is the funeral?” Anna asked, trying to change the subject.
“Ten o’clock on Friday morning. We’d like you to sit with us, if you’re willing. As part of the family.”
Anna nodded and gave her a weak smile. “I’d like that.”
“Good.” Katherine’s voice cracked. “Now, you should probably go rest for your performance tonight.”
Anna looked at her with the question in her eyes. “Is it wrong for me to dance?”
Katherine smiled sadly and shook her head. “We all mourn in different ways. Matt said you were a very talented dancer and that Ben was enthralled with you.”
“It helps the pain go away,” Anna whispered. “If only for a few minutes.”
“Then you should dance,” she said gently. “I don’t think badly of you for doing so.”
Anna nodded. “Did you…I mean, would you like to come while you’re in town? I’m sure I could ask Isaak to see if there’s some tickets available.”
Katherine smiled. “That would be nice. To see what Ben saw on his last night.”
“I’ll speak with Isaak tonight.”
“Don’t feel bad if you can’t. But I would like to see it. Perhaps a few minutes of pain relief for the rest of us?”
Anna smiled sadly and turned and walked away.
When she got back to her bedroom, she closed the door and looked at the ring sitting in its gray velvet. She took it out and put it on her left finger. It fit perfectly. It was so much simpler than the ring Devin had given her. Anna loved it, because it was from Ben. She would wear it. In honor of Ben. And perhaps to spite Devin. Right now she didn’t care what Devin thought and ignored the warning bells that went off in her head at that dangerous frame of mind.
Chapter Fifteen
Anna and Jenna went back to the theater early that afternoon to get ready. Anna sat on the floor of her dressing room and worked her pointe shoes until they were soft enough to dance in. She sewed the ribbons on and put them on to test them. When she was done, she tossed them aside and lay down on the floor with her feet on the couch, staring at the ceiling and playing with her engagement ring.
A knock made her jump.
“Anna?” It was Travis.
“Come in,” she said without emotion.
Travis entered and closed the door behind him. “Hey, how ya doing?” he asked in a gentle voice.
Anna glanced at him. “I’ve had better days.”
“I can imagine.”
Anna laughed bitterly. “I can actually say that now…I’ve had better days.” She sighed. “I think it was easier when I wasn’t able to say that.”
“It’ll will get better again, Anna.” Travis sat on the couch and rubbed her legs. “It seems like it will never be good again, but life will get better again.”
Anna snorted. “Right. You don’t have to deal with Devin.”
“That’s true…but there will be other guys to fall in love with.”
Anna shook her head. “No. There can’t be. Devin would just kill them too.”
“Why do you say that?”
Anna looked down at her feet. “Devin killed Ben because he was a distraction. Because I admitted that I’d rather be with him than Devin. Devin won’t allow distractions.” She sighed. “The whole point of falling in love is because you want to be with them. I can’t do that again.”
“I’m sorry, Anna. I really am. What Devin did…it’s unforgivable.”
They were quiet for a few minutes. Anna was lost in her thoughts of Ben. The pain was unbearable and she wanted to carve her heart out with a knife. Tears began to roll down her cheeks and Travis sat down next to her and hugged her to his chest. The stream of tears became a torrent and Travis rocked her and kissed her head.
“Can half-Immortals die?” she asked in a cracked voice. Maybe death would take away the ache in her heart.
Travis was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I know Immortals can’t. I don’t know about you.” He pulled away and cupped her chin. “I would be very sad if you died, Anna. And so would a lot of other people.”
She frowned and then leaned her head back on his chest. “After Ben was…gone, Devin had me taken up to his room and he had sex with me. He made me feel when I didn’t want to feel. And then he wouldn’t give me release. Then he tied me to his bed and…he gave me a shot. My body felt like it was on fire.” She looked at Travis with tears in her eyes. “Then Kaveh came and had sex with me.”
“Who’s Kaveh?”
“An Immortal. Devin said he was…doing something to me, but I don’t know what. He never told me what he did to me.”
“He had an Immortal have sex with you? Why?”
Anna shook her head. “I don’t know. He did it at the Gathering too. When I was out of town. I had forgotten about hi
m fucking me.”
“Devin’s such a fucking bastard. He probably was just messing with your head.”
“Maybe. But he seemed to be…I don’t know. Expectant of something? Kaveh said ‘It is done’. But what was done?”
“I think with Devin, sometimes it’s better just not to ask.”
“Have you interacted with him much?”
He shook his head. “No. But my dad has obviously. He says it’s best if Devin just doesn’t know who you are.”
“Does he know who you are?”
“Yeah, but to him I’m just ‘Brandon’s bastard son’, which is fine with me.”
“Well, you might have progressed to ‘Anna’s dance partner.’”
“Great.” He rolled his eyes, and then smiled at her. “I suppose there are worse things to be.” He glanced at his watch and stood. “We need to get ready. It’s going to be starting soon.”
“Travis?”
“Yeah?”
“This afternoon…did it make you uncomfortable?”
“Dancing with you while you seduced the entire audience?” He chuckled.
Anna winced and nodded. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever experienced. ’Course, if you do it again, I can’t guarantee I won’t drag you back in here and fuck you against the wall.”
The thought was appealing. “If you want.” It might be a welcome distraction.
*****
After Travis left, Anna immersed herself in the ritual of preparing for the performance. She pulled her hair into a high ponytail and carefully tied the green chiffon ribbon around the base. She took pains to arrange her costume as though for a photo shoot, not a live performance. The gold sequined bikini halter-top was low cut, tight enough that it stayed in place, yet showed the cleavage of her solid C-cup breasts nicely. The low-hung green chiffon pants—slits on the side, revealing green panties—were gathered at the ankles with gold cuffs. A green velvet belt with gold embroidery sat low on her hips, and the coins attached around it tinkled when she walked.
The Life of Anna, Part 3: Embraced Page 7