“Hey, shhh. Okay.” He wipes the tear away and we both jump as his Blackberry starts ringing. He leans away from me to retrieve the phone from the opposite arm of the sofa.
“It’s for you,” he says, handing me the handset.
“Me?” I glance at the screen and see Jackson’s name. I rub a hand across my cheek and calm my breathing as Gregory takes my free hand in his. “Hello?”
“It’s Sandy, sweets.”
“Oh, hey, Sandy. You and Jackson share phones now, do you?”
Sandy giggles and it’s that sweet giggle that she reserves for when she’s really giddy. Just about the only thing that could improve my mood. “We’ll be sharing a lot more than that soon.”
“Huh?”
“I wanted to tell you in person but I don’t want anyone else to know before you.”
I plant my tea cup on the floor then sit bolt upright on the edge of the sofa. “What? Tell me what?”
I can just imagine her, eyes twinkling, brown cheeks flush, an arm wrapped around her ribs. “Geoffrey asked me to marry him and I said yes.” She laughs, utterly, blissfully happy.
“Oh my gosh, Sandy! I can’t believe it! That’s amazing! You make such a lovely couple. Jackson is a good guy and you...oh my gosh, he’s so lucky to have you.” My eyes fill and for the first time in as long as I can remember, they’re wet with happiness. “Oh crap, Sandy, you’re going to make me cry. I’m so happy for you. I really, really am.”
“I’m so happy. Geoffrey is wonderful.”
“And it’s so soon, so romantic, he’s completely swept you off your feet, hasn’t he?”
“It’s a dream,” she says, her smile obvious in her words.
I sit back into the corner of the sofa and Gregory resumes his hold around my shoulders. “Tell me everything. How, when, where? I knew he was a closet romantic. Wait until I see him.”
“Oh deary me, I’ll have to sit down.” I hear her fumble around in the background. “We’re staying at The Ritz, can you believe it? I don’t know how he afforded this.”
I raise an eyebrow in Gregory’s direction. I suspect I know how and I love him even more for it too.
“We walked around Hyde Park in the afternoon yesterday and then Geoffrey had booked a table in the restaurant. Can you believe we ate at The Ritz?”
I laugh, sharing in this wonderful woman’s happiness. “Go on, go on.”
“Well, I had a smoked salmon terrine to—”
“Sandy! Stop teasing me! I don’t want to know what you ate.”
She laughs a hearty, Sandy laugh. The type that’ll have her small belly jiggling and her fingers covering her mouth. “Alright. Alright. Well, we had coffee and petit fours after dinner. He was getting all sweaty. You know, I was starting to worry about him but he had a big steak for mains so I thought maybe it was just the meat sweats.”
“Sandy!” I try to sound stern but my chuckle gives up my game.
“No, this is part of the story, I promise. So there he was, sweating, but we still had coffee in our pot and well, I won’t be going to The Ritz again anytime soon so I fully intended getting my money’s worth—”
“Sandy! Get to the proposal!”
“Right, yes, that’s where I was going. So I turned around to pour another cup of coffee and when I turned back around he was on one knee. It took me a second, mind you, to realise what was happening. One minute, he was in the chair next to me and the next...pop! So there he was on one knee in the middle of The Ritz...can you imagine? And he said it’d been a whirlwind of drama but more happiness than he’s ever known. And then he just said it...he just asked...Sandy, will you be my wife?”
“Aw, Sandy, that’s perfect. Really it is. I hope you had some fizz.”
“Oh, yes, well, Gregory actually had already arranged to have a bottle sent to the table. Such a kind man.”
“Hold on a second. Gregory knew?” I sit back and look at his suppressed smile.
“Well, yes, that’s why I had to call. I wanted you to be the first to hear it from me. You see, Geoffrey needed to ask Gregory and Lara for the time off.”
I scowl and turn a playful pout on Gregory. “Are you staying there tonight?”
“Yes, we’ve just had a late cream tea. Geoffrey’s calling it a mini-moon.”
“And is it too early to ask when the big day will be?”
“Oh when we can afford it. Not for a long time. We’re just happy being engaged for now. It sounds a little silly doesn’t it, engaged at our age.”
“It really doesn’t, Sandy. It sounds just right.”
“It feels just right, sweetheart. It feels just right. Well, I’m going to go and find Geoffrey. I bet he’s stealing the free shampoo.” She laughs again, another bellyaching sound. “Bye, darling.”
“Bye, Sandy. Have a good night.”
“I’m sure we will.” I shake my head and shudder at the thought of Jackson and my stand in mum-cum-best friend having a good night together.
As happy as I truly, genuinely am for Sandy, a small part of me is jealous. She’s known Jackson less time than I’ve known Gregory and they’ve agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. I push the thought from my mind and focus on the man next to me.
“I can’t believe you knew and you didn’t tell me.” I say, flicking the Blackberry at Gregory who catches it in one hand.
“I told you they were going for a special dinner.” There’s a cheeky glint in his eye.
“That’s hardly the same as saying, ‘Scarlett, Jackson is taking Sandy to The Ritz tonight to propose.’”
“Why are you talking like that?”
“What? You don’t like my man voice?”
“Stop it!”
“I don’t know what you mean, stop what?” I say, keeping up my not-at-all-manly man voice.
“It’s really unattractive. Are you supposed to be me? I don’t sound like that.”
“Ja, Ja! Pasop Boet!”
In a swift movement he grabs me and throws me to the other side of the sofa. He clamps my foot between his knees, pulls off my sock and starts tickling. I squeal and wriggle and he worms those horrid nimble fingers to the crease beneath my toes.
“Do you relent?” he asks.
“No!” I scream.
“Sure?”
“Yes! Okay! Yes! Stop!”
He pauses then but I can’t stop a smirk from rising to my lips. “You tickle like a pussy!” I say in my fake Gregory voice.
“I would never say that,” he says.
“Ja, ja.”
The tickling starts again. Relaxed Gregory is putting in a rare and undoubtedly fleeting appearance.
Life is pretty screwed up.
Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t want to go back to the city, I love it here.” As I say the words, I put the overnight bag Gregory packed for me into the back of the Lamborghini.
Gregory runs his hands from my shoulders down my arms and plants a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Work is in the city, baby.”
“I know. I just like our farm bubble. I could actually convince myself that the case isn’t hanging over us here, that life is normal.”
“Normal isn’t something you’re ever going to get from me, Scarlett.”
That’s becoming very clear.
He presses his lips against mine, leaving my mind to wander as they linger.
Reluctantly, I peel myself away from him and sit into the front seat. He burns through the rush hour traffic, weaving, speeding, generally driving like a man on the edge. At the Shard, we both quickly change into suits and switch to the black DB9, which Gregory feels is more businesslike than the yellow Lamborghini. Probably true.
He drops me at work after waiting impatiently for me to pick up a
bouquet of flowers on the way in. He shakes his head as I hand Paul the spare bagel Amy wrapped up for me, then he heads off to a meeting in Brighton, south of the city. As I watch Gregory swerve away from the pavement into oncoming traffic, thoughts of Dubai and the imminent CPS decision hit me with the force of an express train.
I dump my coat and take a big swig of latte, then set my computer off booting itself to life and take the flowers I bought in the direction of Amanda’s office. I get two pencil skirt restricted steps into the corridor before being met by an incoming Amanda. She looks pale and not her usual vibrant self, which I put down to her choice of black dress. Her usually flowing auburn hair is pinned back from her face into a messy knot at the back of her head.
“These are for you,” we both say in unison, me holding up the bunch of white roses and lilies as she holds up a bag decorated in M&M Peanuts and a label stating she’s been to M&M World.
We share the shortest of laughs, then both declare our apologies.
“Coffee and choccies?” Amanda asks, wiggling the yellow paper bag in front of me. “Like old times?”
“Love to.” I take the bag from her and hand over the bunch of flowers which she holds to her nose, inhaling deeply.
“Beautiful,” she declares. She retrieves her own coffee from her office and brings it to mine where I’ve already spread the contents of the M&M goodies across my desk. “Peanuts for me.”
I throw her the bag of M&M Peanuts, which she catches with one hand and happily tears into once she’s settled into a chair next to my desk. I open a brown bag of traditional M&Ms and moan theatrically around a blue.
“What’s it about the blues?” I ask.
“They taste so different to the others,” she says.
“Couldn’t agree more. So good. Listen, Amanda, I don’t want us to fall out. Especially not over a man. We always said that would never happen.”
“Me neither. I’m sorry, Scarlett. I know he makes you happy and Ed and I had a long conversation on Saturday. He helped me understand some...stuff. He told me about Lara and the abuse. And I get it. Kind of. I at least understand why Gregory would hate his pop. And I know he’s not all bad.”
I snort and sip my coffee. “I’ll take that as a ringing endorsement.”
She laughs. “I might even like him in time.” Then her face turns serious. “Look, he makes you happy and you’re no fool. I just want you to be careful, okay? Don’t get yourself hurt.”
“I’ll do my best.” But at the moment that seems highly unlikely.
“Has he told you how he feels yet?” She asks the question with her attention focussed on her cardboard cup then takes a sip of coffee.
“You mean, do I think he’s in love with me?” I sigh and lean back into my desk chair, taking my latte with me. “I wish I knew, Amanda. He hasn’t said as much but then when we’re together, especially when we’re...you know...it’s like I’m the only important thing in the world to him. He says things like he’s under my spell and he can’t let me go but he’s never told me he loves me. And there are other things he’s not telling me. There’s always something lingering that he either can’t or won’t share with me.” I try not to think about the Dubai conversation and whether there’s part of him that wants me to leave.
It’s my own doubt. I caused that situation.
“He certainly looked like a man in love on Saturday. He was frantic, Scarlett. I’ve never seen a man so possessive.”
I shrug, feigning impassiveness but beaming inside. “Time will tell I suppose.”
“And what about the case? Ed said there’s still no charge, that’s a good thing, right?”
“The QC thinks so. The police questioned Lara and Sandy so they’re obviously considering the strength of Gregory’s motive versus self-defence.”
“But it was self-defence, right?”
I shoot her a warning stare. She’s still questioning Gregory’s motives. “Amanda.”
“No, I know, I—”
“Let’s leave that there, okay?”
“Well, they obviously don’t consider him a threat to society. Otherwise they’d hold him.”
“True. Hopefully it’s all a good sign.” But there’s a tightness in my chest and an increasingly heavy ache at the base of my skull.
“Scarlett?”
I rub my breastbone. “Hmm, sorry, what was the question?”
“Dubai.”
I exhale slowly, exasperated, and rub my aching temple. “I’ve decided not to go but I haven’t told Neil yet.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Don’t look at me like that and please don’t say whatever it is that you’re thinking.”
She pulls an invisible zip across her pursed lips. “Neil isn’t going to take that well.”
“Not at all. And he really hasn’t pushed me for a decision even though the proposal has to be with the client by Friday.”
“Because he thinks you’ll go.”
I nod. “Precedent says I never refuse, so I guess he’s assumed I’ll drop everything for work, like I always do. Right, enough about me, did you and Williams spend the night together on Saturday?”
“Yes. No. He stayed over at my apartment and we shared the same bed but we didn’t sleep together.” She slips a red M&M Peanut into her mouth. “It was nice actually. We spooned. He cuddled me all night and it felt right somehow to wake up with him on Sunday.”
“Are you together?” I ask across my cardboard cup, sipping the milky coffee through the tiny hole in the lid.
“Hmm, we haven’t really said. We’ve just decided to date. Start again and see whether there’s something else.”
“Besides just fun?”
She smiles. “Besides just fun.”
“Sooooo, Sandy and Jackson got engaged on Saturday.”
“What? That’s so fast! I mean, fab and all, but really quick.”
“You think so? I guess it is but they’re in their forties and if you know, you know, right?”
“Still. Super quick. When do you think they’ll get married?”
I whirl my hand in the air as I clear my mouth of a yellow M&M. “Not for a while, she said. I think it’s the money thing really and then other stuff, like where they’ll live. Sandy lives with and works for Lara and Jackson needs to be where Gregory is. They’ve got some things to work out I guess.”
“You must be happy for her.”
“I really am. She’s spent her life looking after me and then Dad, she deserves to have something else, someone to love her in a romantic way.”
“How are you coping with that? Your dad, I mean. Everything else has kind of taken over hasn’t it? But it’s still so close.”
“Honestly, I don’t know how I feel. Everything that’s happened lately is just a massive blur.” I killed a man and whilst saving another’s life, I don’t know how much of me killed to avenge my father’s murder.
My fate could be decided any moment now. I glance at my iPhone but there are no calls or messages showing on the screen.
“I know that I miss him,” I sigh. “I miss him like crazy.”
Amanda darts forward in her seat and presses a hand against her chest. “Oh, crikey, I feel so sick.”
“Where’s your stamina?” I laugh. “At uni you could’ve done five hundred grams before you felt sick.”
She retches then and puts her other hand over her mouth.
“Shit, you’re not playing.” I grab the bin from under my desk and push it in front of her just before she vomits.
I pull two tissues from the box on my desk and hand them to her. She wipes her mouth and her brow then slumps back in her chair.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to get you some water?”
“No, I’m fine.” She sips her coffee. “I f
eel better now. It just came over me so quickly. This stupid bug. I’ve thrown up every day for a week. I just can’t shake it.”
“Amanda, if you’ve been sick for seven days you need to see a doctor. Do you have a temperature? Let me feel.” I move to her and place the back of my hand on her forehead the way my father used to do to me. “You actually feel okay.”
“I know. It’s not constant. It comes and goes. I’ve tried taking something to settle my stomach but nothing works.”
“Erm, I hope you don’t mind me asking but is it, erm—”
“Coming out of the other end?”
I laugh a little. “Sorry, it’s not funny, you’re just so blunt. Is it?”
“No. No diarrhoea.” She laughs too and pops an M&M into her mouth as I look on with a furrowed brow.
“And you’re not off your food?”
“No. Well, actually, certain things but not M&Ms,” she grins.
“Bloody hell, Amanda, you don’t think you could be—”
“Pregnant!” She jumps up from her seat. “Holy shit!”
“How hasn’t this occurred to you?”
“Jesus, Scarlett, now’s not the time for a lecture! I can’t be. Can I?”
“Well I don’t know, do I? Have you had unprotected sex?”
“I’m on the pill, you know I am.” She slumps back down in her seat and rubs her chin with the tips of her fingers. “I missed one or two pills but I took them the next day, I doubled up. That’s fine, right?”
“I’m sure it is. Calm down. Let’s go to the pharmacy after work. You can come back to the Shard and take a test.”
She nods her head quickly. “Gregory won’t be there, will he?”
“We’ll go at five thirty on the dot. He’ll still be working.”
* * *
We could’ve caught the bus or the tube but Amanda’s legs turned to jelly in the pharmacy and I didn’t think they’d carry her to a station, so I hailed a black cab instead and settled her into the back, pale faced and silent. I try to check in with Gregory but wind up leaving a message on his voicemail to tell him I’m already on my way home and I was just wondering whether the CPS or John Harrison had called. I know they haven’t, otherwise I would’ve heard from him but I really wanted to make sure Amanda and I had the all clear to go back to the apartment without interruption.
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