by Tanya Stowe
He’d forgotten his duty and nearly got them both killed. Determined to stay awake, he’d even made it through most of the night. But then he’d dozed. Another mistake.
Something had alerted him, maybe the sudden silence of the storm ending.
It was only by God’s good grace that they were still alive. The Lord had seen fit to give Cal a second chance. He had no intention of blowing it this time.
They drove the rest of the way through the foothills in silence. The signs of the storm quickly faded. Cal knew from experience that even though the snow had disappeared, the desert’s winter nights would be frigid.
They topped a crest. The small town of Tehachapi rested in the corner of the quiet valley, lit by a few lights.
“It looks like a scene from a Christmas card. I wish we could crawl right into it.” Drina’s wistful tone cut into Cal, deepening his guilt. He accelerated on the straightaway, determined to get her to safety.
The vast, empty stretches of desert appeared in the distance as they rounded a corner. “And then we drive into that, a deep, bottomless black pool.”
Drina’s words felt like a finger poked into an open wound. Clenching his fingers around the wheel, he said, “Drina, I’d give my own life for you to be safe right now. I’ll do whatever it takes to see that happen.”
She gave a slow shake of her head. “The problem is, Cal, everything you can do might not be enough.”
Cal flinched at her lack of confidence. As if to punctuate the biting remark, a red light on the dash flashed and began to beep.
Nine
Cal tried to keep frustration out of his tone. He didn’t want to destroy what, if anything, was left of her hope. “One of the tires is losing pressure.”
“Do you need to stop?”
“I don’t dare. We’re coming up on the main intersection. If Carter’s people are waiting on the overpass, it will only draw attention to us. We have to get through first.”
As they approached the overhead pass, Drina leaned forward, peering through the top of the windshield toward the road above them. As they went under, she turned and scoured the other side.
She searched for a long while. “Nothing. I see nothing. I think you were right. We beat them down the mountain.”
She eased back onto her seat but Cal kept his fingers tight on the wheel. As they left the lit overpass behind, the ominous red light blazed in the darkness.
Three beeps echoed across the car again. Drina leaned closer to Cal to see the monitor. The warm scent of pine drifted up to him, cementing his regret and feelings of loss. He tamped down on those emotions and tried to reassure her.
“It’s a slow leak. I felt a bump when we spun into the ditch. We probably hit a rock. I’ll get us as far away from here as I can before I have to stop.”
Cal drove for miles before the beeps echoed again and the monitor read 40 percent. He took the next off-ramp, reduced speed and drove along a frontage road. A white building loomed in the distance.
As they drew closer, the building took the shape of an abandoned gas station. An aging portico extended over old-fashioned gas pumps. The glass-fronted store reflected their headlights as Cal turned in and pulled to a stop in front of the single-car garage.
“Wait a minute.” Drina looked around. “We must be close to the base. I think I’ve been here before.”
“Even if you haven’t, you’ve certainly seen it. This is a popular spot for movies and commercials. They change up the look so they can use it over and over again.”
He left the car running but turned off the headlights. Crossing to a corner of the building, he found a large rock and used it to break the padlock off the garage door. Then he drove inside and hopped out to pull the large door down again.
Without pausing, he opened the hatch of the SUV. The back end was stacked with weapons and equipment. Carter had enough guns for a small army. At least if they caught up with them again, Cal had plenty of weapons to use. He even found hand grenades like the ones he’d used in his cabin.
Shaking his head against the regret that shot through him, he grabbed the handles of the first duffel bag. “I’ve got to change this tire. It’s going to take a while. You might want to get out and stretch.”
Drina slid out but left her parka in the car. Cal tried not to notice how slender and graceful she looked, how she held her arms against her body like she was in pain. “You’re going to need your coat. It’s freezing even in this building.”
His fingers were already feeling the chill. Ignoring him, Drina walked toward the small door leading to the storefront portion of the building. He noted that she rubbed her arms briskly as she walked.
He supposed he deserved her contrariness. Maybe he should have kept silent about his mistakes, waited until he’d gotten her to safety before he revealed his blunders. She might have been more cooperative. But somehow, he couldn’t force himself to lie to her again. Not even a lie of omission. Shaking his head, he applied himself to his task.
“Do you think there’s a bathroom in there?”
He glanced over. She stood by the door, shivering.
“Probably, but I doubt the water is turned on.”
“Too bad for them. I’m going to use it, water or no water.”
She hurried back to the car and fiddled with her parka for a few moments. He noted with grim satisfaction that she had her parka on when she headed toward the store.
With the weapons unloaded at last, he found the jack beneath a panel on the floorboard. He placed it under the car and jacked the vehicle high. Then he started on the lug bolts. Three came off easily but the fourth was difficult. He pounded on it, wrenched with both hands and twisted until he was breathing heavy and his hands hurt. He had to rest for a moment and only then realized Drina hadn’t returned from the bathroom yet.
He was about to drop the jack handle when he saw her exit from a small door at the opposite end of the store. Picking up the crossed jack handle, he started on the wheel again. The lug nut simply wouldn’t budge.
As much as he hated to ask, he needed help. “Drina, come here.” Motioning to the wheel, he said, “I’m going to hold this in place with both hands. I need you to stomp on it with your foot. Let’s see if we can move it.”
He placed the handle and gripped it. Drina stepped on it with most of her weight. Cal barely managed to hold it in place. “Again.”
She stomped again and the handle spun out of his hands, painfully banging one of his fingertips. Nursing the injured digit, he picked the handle up, put it in place and started again. He thought he felt the bolt give a little, but the handle slipped loose and landed on the floor with a loud clatter.
Repressing a sigh of pain and frustration, he picked it up once more and Drina stomped on it once, twice. The second time, it fell away again, banging his injured finger in the same place. But this time he was sure the lug gave a little.
Nothing to do but keep at it. He picked up the handle and fumbled it with his aching finger.
“Great.” Drina’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “After all we’ve been through, we’re going to be defeated by a stupid bolt on a wheel.”
Cal drew in a breath, biting back his pain and frustration. “It’s called a lug nut and it’s not going to defeat us.”
He placed the handle in position. She raised her foot. “Forgive me,” she said, stomping with all her might, “if I no longer have that faith.”
Cal gritted his teeth tight before answering, “Drina, I’m sorry. I didn’t want anything like this to happen...”
“Please don’t say sorry again. You can’t say that kind of thing one minute and follow your company’s risky policies the next.”
The lug nut gave way with such force, the handle clattered to the floor, trapping Cal’s finger beneath it. Aching from the pain, physical and emotional, he lunged to his feet.
/> “That’s enough.”
Drina stepped back and he stepped forward, pinning her against the car. He placed his hands on both sides of her head, trapping her. “I’ve apologized for my mistakes and paid for them with everything I own. But I’m not going to apologize for my work again.”
That soft scent of pine drifted up to him. She looked up, her hazel eyes wide and her lips, so soft and red, he couldn’t resist. Leaning even closer, he stooped and covered her mouth with his.
Her lips were cold and soft and so incredibly sweet. To his surprise, she kissed him back, grasping the edges of his jacket and parting her lips. When he would have pulled back, she drew him closer. After a long while he broke away, tilted her chin up and kissed one corner of her mouth, then the other.
He felt her lips tremble beneath his.
Was it the cold? Or was she frightened? He looked down. Tears had pooled in her eyes. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and hold her close.
But he’d lost that privilege. All he had the right to do now was try to save her life.
“I’m sorry.” With a sigh, he tugged her fur-lined hood up around her head and ran the back of his finger along her jaw.
Her gaze flickered. “You saved my life twice. I shouldn’t be mad at you.”
“But you are.”
She grabbed his hand and held it to her cheek. “Yes, but I’m not sure why.”
“Maybe because I made foolish mistakes. Maybe because you’re frightened. Maybe both.”
She nodded and rubbed the backs of his fingers against her cheek again. “You swooped in and saved my life like...some superman.” Her tone was soft and broken. “I thought...thought you were pretty near perfect and invincible.”
Cal felt the loss of her warmth almost instantly, like a part of his own body had been torn away. Still, he stepped away. “I told you not to put your faith in people. The only one who will never fail you is God.”
“And I told you. I don’t have that kind of faith. But for a moment you had me convinced that impossible things were possible, Cal.”
“Impossible things? Is this the point you talked about, Drina? The one where you make a conscious decision to trust or to have faith in me or God?”
She lifted her bleak, unblinking gaze. “I’m talking about impossible things like ‘God really cares.’ If you were wrong about all those other things, maybe you’re wrong about that, too. Maybe He isn’t out there, watching over us like you said. Maybe all we really have are our own instincts and judgment.”
Her words shocked him. Rocked him where he stood. He stepped even farther back.
“That’s your parents talking, Drina, not you. You have faith. I’ve seen it shining in your eyes...when you talk about John, in the work you did with the poor...even in your deep desire to save the lives of soldiers. You’ve trusted and let God into your life.”
“Yes! And every time I have, He’s let me down. First with John and now...”
She didn’t finish, but her unspoken words slapped Cal as viciously as a hand.
“It was my judgment that was wrong, Drina. My mistakes that got us here. Just because I failed doesn’t mean God will fail us. If I’d put aside my own feelings and stopped to pray about my choices, He would have guided me in the right direction. I’m sure of it.”
“I’m sorry, Cal. I wish I had that confidence or that faith. But I don’t. I have to make my own choices, my own decisions. I’m not going to rely on some invisible, distant force that probably doesn’t even exist.”
She turned, pushing past with her shoulder as she headed to the front of the car. Climbing in, she slammed the door.
Cal stood, unable to move as his last and worst failure sank deep into his bones and darkened his soul.
* * *
Cal closed the door, then pulled out of the garage, turning the SUV toward the east where gray fingers had begun to thread their way through the black sky. By the time they moved off the frontage road and onto the highway, the gray had begun to turn pink.
Several times Drina felt the urge to look at Cal, to loosen her guard and be honest. Truthfully, she didn’t blame him for their situation...at least not as much as he blamed himself. His skills had saved them over and over again. She hadn’t forgotten—didn’t forget—as he navigated the SUV down the highway, where she didn’t know east from west or north from south.
She should have eased his conscience, let him off the hook. But her own disappointment kept her in check. She’d honestly begun to hope there was a happy-ever-after for her. She wanted a life beyond her work but most of all, she wanted to believe God was real, that she was safe in His hands, that her parents were wrong and there was more to life than what one could see and touch. She yearned for the peace that John and Cal’s strong faith gave them, a faith that was true and rooted in a loving God who would forgive and take the burden of responsibility off her shoulders.
Once again, she’d been disappointed. There were no perfect men, fairy-tale endings or all-powerful beings to ease her burdens. Her fledgling faith was crushed once more and the disappointment was so keen, she almost pounded the dash in front of her. Instead, she clenched her hands into tight fists. How had she been so foolish...so gullible...again?
She knew now that she could only trust her judgment. That was why she’d turned on her cell phone and called Bill Carlisle from the gas station’s tiny, old-fashioned bathroom.
Bill had picked up his phone on the second ring. She was so glad to hear his voice, she almost couldn’t answer. When she finally did, Bill told her over and over again how relieved he was to hear from her.
She’d described where they were. Bill recognized their location and said they were only a short way from the base gates. He promised to have troops waiting for them. Guards with guns to protect them from Carter and his men.
She could trust Bill. He would make everything right. Cal had been wrong to suspect her boss. He’d been wrong about a lot of things.
He was no superhero. Just a simple man who loved food and music and cared about people. He cared so deeply, he’d risked his own life for her.
And he loved fun. Even though Cal had failed at the most important things, Drina couldn’t forget the things he had done right, like reminding her how to have fun. She’d forgotten how to enjoy life until Cal showed her how. Their time in his cabin was like a dream come true...until Carter and his men destroyed Cal’s safe haven. Sorrow washed over her and she closed her eyes.
My feelings are flip-flopping like a fish on shore. We need to reach safety. Once we’re safe, I can think clearly, can sort through all these conflicting feelings and disappointments. Right now I have to focus on reaching the gates and handing my computer over to Bill. Then I’ll be safe and Cal can stop risking his life to save mine.
Drina’s thoughts halted. Was that the real fear driving her? That she might lose Cal like she’d lost John?
The realization broke through her anger and she finally relented and turned to look at him. The pink-and-gray sunrise shed light on his strong profile. Still handsome. Still perfect. Straight nose. High cheekbones. That stubborn lock of black hair falling over his forehead in the same way. The shadow of a beard darkened his chin and hid his dimple. The beard added a rakish, rugged look to his boy-next-door features, features she longed to touch with her fingertips and lips. More than anything she wished she could ease the tightness in his jaw. But she couldn’t. She had to face the truth.
It was possible to fall in love in one night. But it wasn’t possible for that love to last. Disappointment was sure to follow. Disappointment and disillusionment...with not-so-perfect supermen and a God who only made wispy promises.
Drina faced the road, willing the miles to pass quickly. In the distance and off to the right a cluster of buildings rose out of the shadows, still dim, but growing more distinct as they crossed the miles. The base gate
and guardhouse. Safety. All they had to do was take the off-ramp. Safety was just a few miles down that road.
Something metallic flashed on the frontage road. A car...multiple cars, parked on the opposite side of the distant overpass. Black SUVs were parked in a line, just waiting for them to hit the off-ramp.
Carter and his men were waiting to intercept them before they reached the safety of the base. Drina had been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t even noticed Cal begin to slow. He came to a full stop on the shoulder of the four-lane, divided highway.
Before Drina could even think, he spun the car around and headed back the way they’d come, driving on the wrong side of the highway.
“What are you doing? Are you crazy?”
Cal didn’t answer. Behind them, the rising sun sparkled and shimmered on the shiny chrome of a huge semi headed straight for them. The semi honked. Cal gripped the wheel and stepped on the gas.
The semi honked again and Drina pushed on the floor as if she could apply the brakes. “Cal...” Her tone rose as she reflexively stomped at the empty floorboard.
Just ahead was another overpass with ramps. Cal was headed for the on-ramp. He was trying to make it there before the semi...
Cal jammed the accelerator down. The semi hit the horn again, honking loud and hard as the driver began to slow his vehicle. They were only a few feet away from a collision when Cal swerved their SUV onto the ramp and it shot ahead of the passing truck.
Drina heaved a sigh of relief as Cal barreled up the off-ramp, still in the opposite direction of any oncoming traffic. Slamming onto the brakes, he brought the car to a skidding halt. He turned left onto the overpass and Drina sagged.
He was running away, back the way they’d come. Farther away from safety. They were on the run again.
But instead of taking the ramp to the freeway, Cal pulled onto the frontage road. As soon as the road leveled, he jumped over the curb onto the desert floor and immediately turned the car into a spin.
“What are you doing?”