Standing in my new home office, surrounded by moving boxes full of my notes, I’ll grow more disenfranchised from the belief that we might outrun everything we saw and experienced in Palo Alto. Leaving the town matters little, because, really, where is there to hide? Social contagions influence businesses, health care, education, government policy, politics, and international relations everywhere. Beneath the surface we are all connected.
Then again, why do we need to hide? In spite of crippling tragedy, Palo Alto is nothing if not an example of how to fight, how to live, how to be happy, and how to remain strong. Oddly enough, this place is one to mirror. It is a shining example of how to care for one another in the darkest of times. A vital reminder of our responsibility to one another. In the end, this lesson is something good, something clean, something like redemption.
A Note on Support
This is a book of nonfiction and based on the accounts of teachers, students, parents, researchers, and my personal observations. It does not attempt to be an all-encompassing book on suicide prevention. If you are concerned about your mental health or that of someone you know, resources like these are beneficial and save lives:
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.
1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line
Your best friend. Your dad. That lady down the street. That quiet kid in school. That loud kid in school. That dude in accounting. Your cousin in Alaska. That hipster in flannel in Brooklyn. That “rando” who might lurk online. Crisis Text Line is for everyone. Crisis Text Line is free, 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text 741741 from anywhere in the USA to text with a trained Crisis Counselor. Crisis Text Line trains volunteers (like you!) to support people in crisis.
Text HELLO to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis support.
Mental Health America
Mental Health America (MHA)—founded in 1909—is the nation’s leading community-based nonprofit dedicated to helping Americans achieve wellness by living mentally healthier lives. Their work is driven by a commitment to promote mental health as a critical part of overall wellness, including prevention for all, early identification and intervention for those at risk, integrated health, behavioral health and other services for those who need them, and recovery as a goal. Their mental health screening program (www.mhascreening.org) provides individuals with tools to help address their mental health before a point of crisis.
www.mentalhealthamerica.net
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
The AFSP’s mission is to save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.
To fully achieve its mission, the AFSP engages in the following Five Core Strategies: funds scientific research, offers educational programs for professionals, educates the public about mood disorders and suicide prevention, promotes policies and legislation that impact suicide and prevention, and provides programs and resources for survivors of suicide loss and people at risk, and involves them in the work of the Foundation.
https://afsp.org
International Association for Suicide Prevention
The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) is dedicated to preventing suicidal behavior, alleviating its effects, and providing a forum for academics, mental health professionals, crisis workers, volunteers, and suicide survivors. Founded by the late Professor Erwin Ringel and Dr. Norman Farberow in 1960, IASP now includes professionals and volunteers from more than fifty different countries. IASP is a Non-Governmental Organization in official relationship with the World Health Organization (WHO) concerned with suicide prevention.
www.iasp.info
American Association of Suicidology
AAS is a nonprofit organization that promotes research, public awareness programs, public education, and training for professionals and volunteers. It serves as a national clearinghouse for information on suicide, publishing and disseminating statistics and suicide prevention resources. AAS also hosts national annual conferences for professionals and survivors.
www.suicideology.org
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE)
SAVE is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to prevent suicide through public awareness and education, reduce stigma, and serve as a resource to people affected by suicide. Its prevention and education programs are designed to increase knowledge about depression, suicide, and accessing community resources and to increase understanding and use of intervention skills to help prevent suicide.
www.save.org
Children’s Safety Network
CSN is a national resource center for injury and violence prevention, including suicide prevention. CSN provides technical assistance on injury prevention planning, programs, and best practices; analyzes and interprets injury data; partners with national organizations and federal agencies to promote child and adolescent health and safety; disseminates injury prevention research; conducts trainings and presentations; and produces publications.
www.childrenssafetynetwork.org
Acknowledgments
To the people who endlessly display their courage: faculty, students, and parents affiliated with Gunn High School, with specific thanks to Roni Habib, Dr. Denise Herrmann, Noreen Likins, Paul Dunlap, James Shelby, and Joyce Lui.
To the people who continue to have faith in me: Richard Pine, Alexis Hurley, Eliza Rothstein, and everyone at Inkwell Management; Karen Rinaldi, Hannah Robinson, Victoria Comella, Brian Perrin, the house of Harper Wave, and the banner of HarperCollins.
To the writers and thinkers on whose shoulders I continue to prop myself on top of: Adam Grant, Sheryl Sandberg, Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dan Ariely, Po Bronson, Ethan Watters, Scott James, Shana Mahaffey, Janis Cooke Newman, Susanne Pari, Ethel Rohan, Cameron Tuttle, TJ Stiles, Fred Vogelstein, Yukari Kane, and Mona Kerby.
To the researchers who pointed me on the right paths, and gently corrected me when I was on the wrong ones: Dr. Nicholas Christakis at the Human Nature Lab at Yale University; Dr. Sigal Barsade at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania; Dr. Peter Gollwitzer at New York University; Dr. Shashank V. Joshi, Dr. Albert Bandura, Dr. James Lock at Stanford University; Dr. Gary Slutkin at the University of Illinois; Dr. Sherry Towers at Arizona State University; Jim Santucci, Shelly Gillan, and the Kara organization; Dr. Ramsey Khasho, Dr. Rosalie Witlock, and Lori McGilpin at the Children’s Health Council; Dr. Eric Kuhn at the National Center for PTSD and the VA Palo Alto Health Care System; the Cecil H. Green Library at Stanford University; Patrick Cook Deegan and the research of the “d.school”: the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford; the additional support of Sunisa Manning; Brandon Martin, Cindy Tidwell and Kern Talks; Sean Southey at PCI Media Impact; and EQ Schools.
To Silicon Valley and the innovators of Northern California, including Gary Briggs at Facebook and Sophie Lebrecht and Nicole Halmi at Neon Lab.
To my early readers and idea generators: Tomer Altman, Joanna Samuels, Allison Shotwell, Jenna Scatena, Melissa Dodd, Roger Studley, Cheryl Dolinger Brown, Terri and James Kravetz, Carin and Paul Feldman, Matthew DeCoster, Travis Peterson, Amy Marcott, Juliette Kelley, and Nick Geisler.
To the people I do this for: Mimi, Alec, and Chloe.
To the people who put a roof over my head and supplied me with a table and a light: this book was written in part at the Castro Writers’ Cooperative; the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto; the Lit Camp Writer’s Conference; the Jackson Family Retreat at Big Sur; and Jupiter taproom in Berkeley, California.
Thank you all for collectively sharing with me your contagious spirit of giving, your kindness, and, above all else, your wisdom.
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