"Crazy! When we took off from Boeing Field, we also noted there were only 8 humans left in a shift." McCall answered.
Nobody said anything. Before the quiet held on for too long, a man named Ivanov suddenly said: "Come on Igor, show them our new greenhouse, let's go!"
"Da! Enough depressive news." Igor started walking and gestured that they follow him down the wide main corridor. "Dawaj, Dawaj!"
As they reached a door labeled "Greenhouse", McCall and Beaumont reached to open the bulkhead.
Igor quickly called them back saying, "Nooo, not there, there are only peasants, come on. We have new one."
Yuri Ivanov started grinning as he slapped McCall on the shoulder and said, "You will meet the girls there!" He chuckled.
"Girls? Who? How?" McCall asked bewildered.
Igor shrugged, "Our little mining enterprise delivered great results, a lot of worthy material to Earth. So the company was grateful and sent them over."
The group reached another bulkhead that McCall and Beaumont had never noticed before.
"This was our last excavation, so we decided to build another greenhouse. This time for entertainment and recreation," Igor pressed the button and the bulkhead opened as he announced, "Welcome to the show."
The crew of the outpost started laughing, as the two pilots stared in awe at the scenery in front of them. Three girls in Bikinis stood there, solar lamps on the ceiling of the cave gave the impression of a sun. There were palm trees and a inviting saltwater pond with a beach.
"You see, our company was really grateful this time" Igor said as he waved to the girls to come closer.
Three beauties moved toward them, while McCall and Beaumont just stood there with their mouths open.
"Boys, watch it, you're starting to drool, " Igor said and laughed.
Meanwhile the three women had arrived in front of them and stopped. A blond, a brunette and a redhead, all three with long curly hair, big breasts a wide hips.
"Hello, I am Natalia" said the blond.
"Hello, I am Irina" said the brunette.
"Hello, I am Svetlana" said the redhead.
"Ladies, may I introduce my friends, Captain Linus McCall and Captain Julien Beaumont from the Starship Buster K." Igor stated formally.
Beaumont gulped, bowed a bit and said "Enchanté, mesdemoiselles. Captain Beaumont at your service."
McCall raised one of his eyebrows as he looked at his partner and grinned.
"Nice to meet you ladies, I'm Captain McCall. "
"Nice to meet you too!" they echoed back, all three in unison and in perfect standard English. McCall frowned a bit, but Igor rushed them all toward the little beach.
"Let's go, sit down, drinks already there, dawaij, dawaij!"
This looked too good to be true, McCall thought. But it was really there. He was able to see it and smell it. He could even smell seawater. And the solar lamps gave it such a comfortable atmosphere. He started sweating, either from the sight of the girls or the beautiful environment, he wasn't sure. He took off his jacket and threw it over his shoulder. The entire crew of the Sojuz Station had now joined them.
"No one in the tower?" McCall asked Igor.
"What for? Got some peasants on duty there and I got this." Igor pulled out an electronic "paper" out of his pocket and showed it to McCall. "Modern times, huh!" Igor added.
McCall shook his head slightly as he went over to the others at the beach and sat down. "What a wonderful landscape" he thought and took the offered long drink from Irina.
"A Zombie! That's my favorite! How..." but he locked eyes with Igor who winked his eye at him.
"Nastrovje!" Igor shouted. And everybody responded "NASTROVJE!"
It was the first and certainly not the last drink this evening.
Later on, both pilots had taken off their shoes and relieved themselves of the most official parts of their uniforms as they sat on the beach with the crew of the Sojuz, chatting and drinking. The alcohol made them all a bit more open than usual.
Yuri, Igor's assistant, began a conversation with Beaumont.
"So how you made it out here? Igor told me that your parents own a fancy hotel in Normandy." Yuri was curious.
"Well, I have an older brother who is more into that business. I wanted to see the world and the Galaxy. So I joined the forces. That's where I met Linus."
"Oh yes, I've heard that you two are even some kind of war heroes, maybe I join up too. I was considering it for quite a while."
Beaumont gave him a bitter smile and stared for a moment into another world, into the past.
Mars, September, 13 2084. At the foothills of Olympus Mons
Captain Beaumont marched through the camp towards the CO's Igloo, as his crew member McCall came rushing over from the other side of the camp. Both were wearing pressurized suits and had to communicate via radio.
"Do you know what he wants from us? We just landed!"
"Dunno," McCall answered, "did we do something wrong?"
"No way, we sneaked beneath the Martian's radar and touched down like a kitten from a tree."
That was an understatement at its best. After being guided to Mars orbit by a squadron of the Royal British Air Force, they had to do a “Sarajevo Approach”, coming in high, full brakes and flaps and dashing almost vertically down to the makeshift airfield before they leveled their flight and landed on the runway.
"Then, what's the fuzz?" McCall shrugged as he grabbed the handle to the airlock to open it. They had brought in a heavy army transport, full of ammo, troops and a new secret weapon. The war wasn't going well for the Earth Forces. The so-called Martians had hacked themselves into almost all of their networks. Earth security was chasing the Martians, but they were always one step ahead.
"After you, Captain." Beaumont grinned.
"Idiot!" McCall opened the airlock and went inside, followed by Beaumont. They both waited until the pressure was equalized before they opened the inner door. They recognized General Wang, commanding officer of the 65 th Transport Wing, speaking into his com. His adjutants were working on touchscreens, one of them gestured McCall and Beaumont to wait. Everyone in the room looked somewhat nervous.
McCall looked at Beaumont and whispered: "I think the whole thing is in the crapper, I'm getting scared."
"This doesn't look good, I don't think this is about us, merde!" Beaumont whispered back.
Finally, the General finished his conversation on the com. For a moment he looked into nowhere. Then he stood up and walked over until he was in front of the two pilots. They exchanged salutes.
Then General Wang began, "Captain McCall, Captain Beaumont, we need you two for a special mission." Wang had a somber look on his face as he continued, "You two are qualified to operate our new M89 anti-aircraft rockets, right?"
"Yes, well, we brought it to Mars and were the first out of this unit on training, but that's in no way our main area of expertise. We're pilots. Transport pilots of the 65th, Speedy Rhinos, not foot sol...."
"Enough." The General shouted, "you are the only ones on this planet, on our side anyway, who are able to operate this system."
He looked down at his shoes, hesitating a bit before he continued. "I need you two to go up Olympus Mons, all the way up to the peak and get this thing working. As you may have noticed, we are in deep shit at the moment. They have us pinned to the foothills of this mountain, reinforcements are barely coming through and we've received a report that they are capable of shooting down the next transport after yours."
McCall cleared his throat and said, "How are you planning on getting us up there? Isn't that mountain like 25 km high?"
"You will get a camel back robot unit to support you. It will be armed and big enough to carry you both plus your gear."
Beaumont and McCall looked at each other and then back to the General. The other officers working nearby in the room were clearly either fully concentrated or pretending they weren't overhearing the conversation, but it was clear what these two men
were there to do.
"Sir, are we the only ones able to do this job? Seriously, we are pilots!"
The general raised his eyebrows, also not happy with the situation. He shook his head slowly.
"Sorry to say you are, yes. The next troops who could take care of this are at least two AU away. I need you two, now."
Just an hour later they found themselves on the back of a camel robot hauling them up to the peak of the highest mountain in the solar system. Then fire, chaos, silent gunshots in the vacuum and a rocket that soared out towards a enemy fighter squadron. A very bright flash in the dark sky. Then nothing. Five hours later, they woke up in a MASH unit on the surface of Mars. Not the best of situations, but at least for them this meant that the war was over.
“Captain?” Yuri asked a bit worried.
Beaumont got up from his beach chair with a grunt and pulled his right pant leg up to his thigh. A long scar ran along his calf, extending from his ankle all the way to his knee. "Three months in the hospital and a lot of nightmares."
Yuri looked impressed. "Was it enemy fire?"
"Yes and no. McCall and I had to neutralize two fighters who were out to shoot down our most important transport into Mars. The two of us were up against them with just a war bot."
"And?"
"The rebels had hacked into our bot, fucked it up, and then it opened fire on us."
Beaumont closed his eyes for a moment before he continued.
"Well, it ended up getting both of us. It was bad luck that it hit us. Our armor was able to protect us and we managed, somehow, to neutralize the piece of junk bot. Then, together we were able to destroy the rebel aircraft with our anti-tank weapon while the air was sucked out of our suits. But it wasn't fun. Don't want to have to do something like that ever again."
He took a sip from his drink.
"We were injured, and we barely had enough strength after that to fulfill our mission, but at least we destroyed those enemy aircraft motherfuckers before we both passed out."
Beaumont looked down at the sand for a moment.
"So anyway, a platoon from our unit found us after awhile, lucky for us because the atmosphere in our suits was running low." He raised his drink again, took a sip, and said: "So be careful. You don't want to start believing that war is just another adventure and do something stupid. Some good advice from a veteran."
"But, what was this war about anyway?" Yuri asked, "Sure, we had our history classes in high school and college. They talked about religious fanatics and stuff."
Beaumont took a deep breath. He was ready for some time to himself and some relaxation and wasn't in the mood for lecturing to a young Russian officer, but he went through with it.
"The people on the Mars colony were led to believe the old story that all life on the planet Earth had come from Mars. That they were the origin of life on Earth. The whole 'and they shalt rule over all mankind' story. I'm sure you've heard the stories about that meteor they found somewhere at the North Pole? It had Martian bacteria inside."
"Yes, we learned that in college too. But that was in the late twentieth century, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, but these a-holes made it into a religion, formed a cult, took over Mars, got weapons in their hands and started a war against the rest of the known universe." Beaumont sighed and added, "And they had the best hackers and crackers in the known universe too. My leg reminds me every day."
Yuri, a young man in his mid twenties, took on a solemn, pensive look, his eyes focused on an unseen point in the distance. After awhile he said, "Thanks Captain." and got up and walked over to the rest of the party.
"Mission accomplished." Beaumont thought and grinned. He looked around and saw McCall sitting in the sand, surrounded by the three girls. He had to laugh to himself. McCall, surrounded with robots. Okay, very pretty bots. But still, he wished he could have taken a picture of that moment. Then he recognized Igor standing a few meters away, already taking pictures and giggling.
McCall waved him off, with a smile.
Beaumont turned and hollered, "Yo, half breed! They aren't quite as evil as you always said, huh?"
One of the girls frowned. It was the brunette named Irina.
"But we can never harm a human being or living creature. We learned the three robotic laws defined by Professor Asimov. Rule one..."
McCall interrupted, "Uh, please don't, We know them all. Thank you anyway."
He gave Ms. Robot the best smile he had, and she smiled back like some starlet looking to get a job from an important movie producer.
Beaumont came over to join the group while Igor was still taking pictures. The rest of the crew of the Sojuz had joined them by now and Beaumont knew this whole situation was far from over. So what. Three weeks in deep space was as much of a reason as any for a wild party.
It was late at night, according to the time system on the Sojuz Outpost when McCall finally found his guestroom. The party had been a good one. Loud, lots of booze and entertainment, but he now felt exhausted. He opened the door and found his accommodation to be a nice little apartment for one person. It was good spending time with his co-pilot, but they had already spent so much time together on board the ship, that this was a bit of a relief to have a place to himself. He got rid of his boots, throwing them in a corner. He took off his pilot's jacket and was ready to crash on the bed, when the buzzer sounded. Someone at the door.
"Sheez, maybe Beaumont needs a bedtime story," McCall muttered. He went to the door, opened it and there she stood. Irina, the artificial girl stood there, smiling. What a sight. But Linus McCall was just too tired and drunk.
"Hello Captain, I thought you might like a nightcap and some company? Mr. Pushkin insisted..."
He gestured her to stop, and answered with a tipsy voice: "Ok, I knew it, the Russians never stop partying till everybody's on the ground. Whatever, come on in."
"Thank you Captain McCall." She smiled as best she could, or was programmed to, and walked into the little apartment. Before McCall could say anything, she simply took off her clothes and sat down on the bed.
McCall took a deep breath, because this was certainly a breathtaking sight. She looked so real, and even though McCall was so tired, he was attracted. Before he started drooling he closed his eyes briefly, licked his dry lips twice, stood up straight and said, "Look Hon, that all looks very promising, but I'm dead tired, drunk as hell, well not exactly what Igor would call it. But I'm done in."
"Why don't you like me and my sisters?" she asked with a worried look.
"Noo, " he shook his head, "it's just...uh, weird. You look so real, so human and this is all kind of irritating."
"I'm a licensed nurse, a doula and I can even perform medical examinations if you need one Captain McCall. I can detect all kinds of cancer and can even diagnose any..."
"Yes, I know," he interrupted, "my internal organs are perfectly ok, except for my liver right know." He took another deep breath to get through being so drunk and said, "It's all the automation. People made from flesh and blood getting replaced by machines. No offense, but when I first landed at Boeing Field, on Earth, ten years
ago, there where hundreds of people working. Ramp supervisors, cargo dealers, mechanics. But now. Guess how many people were there a week ago, when we took off?"
"Eight." she said without hesitating.
"Why, how... is that in your database, or what?"
"No, it's the key operating procedure for any facility when they have more than 24 bots at work. Eight people per shift. Just a rule everybody knows."
McCall actually wasn't really surprised to hear that.
Irina got up and opened a cupboard, that hosted a surprisingly comprehensive bar. She grabbed a bottle and two glasses, standing there like Eve herself. Of course without the leaf over her crotch. With a wide smile she asked, "Want to join me?"
McCall gave up, got closer to her as he murmured, "Why not, Siren of space."
"My name is Irina!"
"Whatever..."
he answered and found himself kissing a robot.
Chapter 3: Hangovers and Nightmares
Somewhere else, in Nirvana:
Captain McCall enjoyed the warm sun on the Italian Riviera. He had been on a date with a hot chick the night before, who happened to be sleeping in the bedroom of the vacation condo.
"Holy, moly, what a night!" he said to himself as he sipped his coffee. He looked down at the view from his position high up on the cliffs. The vast blue sea. What a view!
The doorbell rang. Who would that be? Beaumont? Maybe the janitor? The bell rang again, this time more fiercely. With a groan McCall stood up and crossed the living room to open the door.
The being standing there, a nightmare, jumped at him and grabbed his throat. It was half man, half robot with glowing red eyes and a chrome skull. It looked beyond him in the direction of the open bedroom door and yelled: "VAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGHTER?"
"Clearly an Austrian accent" McCall thought and shrieked.
His scream echoed through the hull of the Buster K as he jumped up and hit his head on the upper console.
Beaumont , alarmed, came running into the flight deck. But McCall just rubbed his forehead and said with grimace of pain, "Nothing, just a dream."
"About what?"
"Some hot chick."
Beaumont grinned. "Yeah, they make you scream sometimes. I'll be back in the cargo hold if you need me."
"Ha ha, I'm fine. Not my first headache, just my first nightmare about artificial girls."
Beaumont shook his head, sighed and went back down the corridor.
“Shitty nightmares.” McCall murmured.
They had left the Sojuz Outpost three days ago early in the morning, according to their time system, and were on the way to their next stop, Sirius. Weird dreams were common among crew members on long shifts.
A few hours later, McCall was still on his watch on the flight deck, when he noticed a beeping light signal announcing a message on the com. That seemed strange, since direct communication was still impossible on flights at light year speeds. At a distance of one light year for example, a radio signal would also take one year to arrive, and therefore wouldn't be able to reach a ship traveling away from the signal. A solution for this still hadn't been found so the call signal had McCall wondering. McCall checked the com and noticed there was an incoming data file, a recorded message from the Sojuz Outpost. He asked Beaumont over the ship's com to come up to the flight deck. This message was labeled with the highest priority. Just one down from an emergency call. For a brief moment it came to his mind that it might be Irina, but that was just bullshit, plain and simple, he thought to himself.
Jinks on Sirius 4 Page 2