by Allie Kay
"You saw that?" I whispered. I stepped outside and pulled the door closed behind me, fidgeting with my hair.
"I did. I was sitting on my porch relaxing when his car pulled up. You sounded agitated. As I stood to head over here to make sure you didn't need any help, he drove away. I pondered on whether I should be coming over here or not, but I couldn't relax until I checked on you."
I remained silent and sank down to sit on the front porch steps.
Jess sat next to me, her movements so slow they must be deliberate. Her voice was low and steady when she spoke. "Talia, I have to ask. Did Turner assault you, honey?"
My chin dropped to let my mouth hang open in shock. "What? Oh God, no! Nothing like that! No! Why would you even think that?" I blurted out a response and jumped up to pace in front of the porch.
"Then what happened? Honey, you yelled at him, slapped him on the chest, but then flinched away when he tried to touch you. What did he do? And what are you doing hanging around with a guy like him anyway?"
I opened my mouth to speak before closing it right back. After a couple false starts, I brought my hand up to fiddle with my hair and finally started to speak. "Sean and I are just friends. He helped me out of a tight spot recently with a guy. We went hiking today up at Garden Falls, Sean and me. He… Well, I like him, a lot, and I thought he liked me too. Man, is this embarrassing to say out loud. I… I kissed him today, and he flipped out and brought me straight home."
I picked a flower and stared at it like it held all the answers. "I cried because I embarrassed myself today. That's why I yelled at him too. I really made a fool of myself over him." I blushed, my fair skin probably pinking up like the pansy between my fingers.
Jess reached out and grasped my chin. I recoiled like I’d been slapped and Jess cussed. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. "If Turner did nothing to you, why are you flinching from me with a hickey on your neck?"
My hand rose up to cover the left side of my neck. My lips tipped up in a little smile. "He left a mark?"
"Someone sure as hell did. You told me nothing happened today. Explain how he marked you if nothing happened."
"It was nothing. I kissed him, and he responded for a moment. I didn't think…" I closed my eyes and sighed. "Jess, Sean hurt nothing more than my feelings. If he left a mark on my neck, it's because I threw myself at him and he reacted like a man. It didn't take long for him to shove me away and drive me straight home."
The relief on Jess’ face was visible. "I'd hate to see you hurt. Do me a favor, would you? Stay away from Sean Turner. He's not right for you. He may have helped you out, and I'm not exactly sure what you meant with that, but he's not a good man. He has issues, big issues. I know. I arrested him in the past. He tell you about his record?"
"No, he didn't. He's told me he's not right for me and I can do better than him though. I'm too young. I wouldn't know what I was getting into. Things like that. But honestly, he made it clear today that he's not interested, so you have nothing to worry about," I said with a deep sigh.
Jess patted me on the shoulder. "I'm glad I was wrong about him this time. And while I wish you hadn't gotten your feelings hurt in the process, I think he made the right choice. Try to stay away from him, will you?"
I nodded but kept my gaze on the ground and wrapped my arms around myself.
"Honey, I have to ask. If he didn't hit you, who did? Someone did. I see it in your reactions. Don't give me any bullshit about it."
I hugged myself tighter. "My ex. He's the one Sean helped me out with. It's over now. Nothing to worry about."
"The one you said might have sent the note?"
"Yeah, I haven't seen him since, though, and I haven't received any more notes so far, so I don't think we need to worry."
12
Sean
I tried to call Talia for the sixth time that week.
"This is Talia, you know what to do." But obviously she didn't or she'd answer her damn phone!
I hung up. I’d left messages earlier in the week. Sent a couple texts. No response.
I got it. She was still pissed.
But damn it, she'd kissed me. I wanted to explain myself. Explain my reasons for pushing her away. But she wouldn't answer my call.
Again.
I pulled my arm back to sling the damn phone at the wall, but I’d just have to replace it. My hand itched for a handset to slam down. Jabbing at the touchscreen would never satisfy like slamming a receiver down so hard the phone rang.
I sank down onto the couch with a sigh. One kiss and she had me acting like a lovesick puppy. Frustrated the hell out of me. I was a grown-ass man who should have better control over myself than that. Maybe it was a side effect of two years of self-imposed celibacy, you idiot.
Not dating while I got the club going seemed like a good plan. Until a beautiful, soft woman pressed her lips to mine. I never should have kissed her back. I should've shoved her away the moment she stepped between my legs.
Should have, but I didn't.
No. I pulled her tight to my chest and kissed her until we both gasped for air and I thought my lungs might collapse from lack of oxygen. Then I’d moved to that delectable throat, savoring the feel of her pulse beneath my lips. I’d marked her, leaving evidence of our passion on her pale skin. I’d thoroughly enjoyed her soft curves pressed against—
I had to get out of this apartment.
I’d hardened just thinking about that one little kiss. Okay, not so little, but I had to find something to occupy my time before I lost what was left of my mind. I grabbed my keys and hurried out, pushing the door back so hard the rusted hinges screamed. I had no plan beyond finding something—anything—to keep my mind off Talia before I put a fist through the wall.
I had no business imagining kissing her. Or remembering the feel of her against my chest.
I’d done time.
Ex-cons like me did not date fresh-faced college girls like Talia Richmond. Her last name alone should have been a deterrent. Her great great whatevers had started this damn town. She was practically royalty around here. Regardless of how fucking good she felt, or how perfectly she fit in my arms, I should know better.
I drove. It wasn't until I’d crossed over the bridge at the lake that I realized where my subconscious was trying to send me—Talia's house. I pulled into the marina parking lot and cursed my stupid self. Banging my head on the steering wheel, I tried to knock some sense into my stubborn head.
The sooner I convinced myself Talia was off-limits, the better off I’d be.
I walked down the beach to try to clear my head. It was working, at least until I came to that rock we’d cuddled on the night of the bonfire. That seemed so long ago.
With thoughts still stuck on Talia, I found myself behind her parents’ house, staring down at the dock where I’d almost kissed her. Losing myself on a sandy beach had seemed like a good idea. If it had worked, it would have been a hell of a lot better than falling in love with a girl I couldn't have. A girl I’d shared only a single kiss with. A girl I could see myself growing old with.
Fuck.
That escalated quickly.
This wasn't helping. The beach used to be a good distraction, but now held memories of Talia. I didn't need to be somewhere that gave me more reason to think of her.
I jogged back to the car and headed to the gym. Several rounds with a punching bag exhausted my body but did little to quiet the stream of memories. Hell, even the damn gym made me think of her and those perfectly fitted yoga pants. I went home and showered, but the loneliness of the apartment ate at me.
What the hell was wrong with me?
What was it about this girl that I just couldn’t shake? Girls threw themselves at me all the time. College girls liked to take a romp on the wild side and flirt with the tattooed bartender. I had them sticking numbers in my pockets; hell, a few even just reached their hands down my pants and bypassed the number all together. But I’d never had a problem forgetting one.
<
br /> Maybe it was because Talia was too good for me.
I headed back out. Maybe I could find a new book. A new distraction to keep me from the thoughts that threatened to devour me.
I couldn't keep doing this.
Talia deserved better than me, and I wasn't sure I had the willpower to keep resisting her. Getting her off my mind became my top priority. I deleted her number from my phone. But it didn't matter. I’d memorized it the day she gave it to me.
That tiny slip of a woman had me tied in knots.
13
Talia
I had a lot to think about this week. What had Sean done to make Jess hate him? Could he hurt a woman? Jess thought so, but not once had I really felt afraid with Sean. Yeah, there were a couple times, particular that tense car ride back from the waterfall where I let my past send me into a panic. But thinking back, that was all me. Sean hadn’t done anything to make me think he’d react like Caleb. In fact, he’d opened doors for me, still walked me to the porch even as I screamed at him like a banshee. Was I that bad a judge of character? If I used Caleb as an example of my judgment, maybe I was. Somehow, I didn't think I was wrong about Sean though.
I needed a distraction, something to pull me out of my thoughts. I needed upbeat, so despite a moment of guilt, I didn’t invite Anna. Karly and Claire were happy to indulge in a girls' day though. We got our hair done, mani-pedis, the works. All to try and keep my mind off Sean.
My phone rang, and Sean's name popped up on the screen. Speak of the devil.
He'd called a few times since bringing me home in silence after our kiss, but I’d let the calls roll to voice mail. His messages had been brief, just requests for me to call back. He’d texted the same. Still embarrassed by how things had gone last Saturday, I ignored this call too. He'd started hanging up without leaving a message.
Karly asked why I avoided the call, but I brushed her off. She knew me well enough to tell there was something deeper going on. To my relief, however, Karly let it go for now.
Like most young women, retail therapy always improved my mood so we headed to the mall. Our last stop of the day was the bookstore. My choice, of course. Karly and Claire were not big readers. Claire liked fashion magazines, but Karly couldn’t be bothered to sit still long enough to read much. Browsing the fantasy section, I found a book I could get captivated by for the evening. Absorbed in the first pages, I walked into someone, a very large and muscular someone.
"Oh, excuse me!" I apologized. Looking up, Sean's mesmerizing blue eyes stared down at me.
"Hey, sunshine." His downhearted tone sent a pang through my chest.
"Sean, I didn't expect to see you here," I murmured. My heart rate picked up.
"Since you've been ignoring my calls, I'm guessing you didn't want to see me at all." He shrugged. "I get it. I won't bother you anymore."
He moved to walk away and I grabbed his arm. "Wait, it isn't that. I'm just… God, I am still so embarrassed about Saturday. I totally misread things. I thought you were interested in me too. I apologize." I couldn't look him in the eye. I focused on a small black button on the pocket of his shirt, its loose thread easier to look at than his eyes. Since I barely reached his shoulder in height, the pocket also happened to be at my eye level, adding to its allure. He didn't pull away from my grasp and I couldn't make myself let him go. I glanced up at him, but I couldn't maintain the gaze.
"Talia, it's not a lack of interest. Didn't you catch that? Shit, I practically devoured you. And I can't stop thinking about kissing you again." Sean rubbed the back of his neck and paused for a moment. "I'm interested. No way in hell I should be. But damn it, I am. You don't need some jerk messing up your future. I have a past you don't know about. A past that would probably change your opinion of me."
"I know you've been arrested," I whispered.
"Where'd you hear that?" Sean's arm tensed beneath my hand. The set of his shoulders stiffened and his eyes narrowed as he looked at me.
"My neighbor is a cop. She said she arrested you once. She… she thought maybe you had assaulted me Saturday after she saw you'd dropped me off, crying." I couldn't stop the heat rising in my cheeks.
He cursed under his breath and looked away. He brought his free hand up to rub across his mouth and jawline. My father did the same thing when thinking about something that made him uncomfortable. I hadn't seen this sort of uncertainty from Sean before though. It unnerved me to see someone who exuded confidence appearing uncertain.
"I let her know that wasn't the case, so she shouldn't bother you. She mentioned arresting you, said that you were bad news and asked me to stay away from you."
"I guess you mean Jess Taylor?"
I nodded.
"She arrested me once for assault. I did some time.”
“Can I ask why?”
“I had a drug problem, but I'm clean now. And have been since she arrested me, actually. I've got my life straight, but I'll never get away from my past." He nudged my head up, dipping his own trying to make eye contact.
I closed my eyes and heard his sigh.
"You deserve better than a guy like me. I'm no good for you. Glad she knows I didn't hurt you, though. I've had enough cops sniffing around to last a lifetime. So, thanks for that."
"I only told her the truth, Sean. I was embarrassed, yes, but I'd never hurt you like that. It wouldn't have been right. You've been nothing but polite while I threw myself at you. I made you uncomfortable and I apologize for that."
With a deep breath, I summoned my courage and made eye contact. I couldn't see any sign of anger. His hand still cupped my chin and he rubbed his thumb along my jawbone.
I barely caught myself before I leaned into his tender touch. "I'm glad I ran into you today. This conversation was easier than I thought it would be. I dodged your calls, worried it would be super awkward. I had no idea what you would say. I figured you would be mad at me."
My lips turned up in a little smile when he shook his head in the negative. "I'm not upset. Never was, really. More at myself than you. Sunshine, I am not the right guy for you. I can't be what you want me to be."
"Well, regardless of your past, I think you're pretty great. Can we start again with just being friends? I'll try to behave myself this time." I couldn't breathe, waiting for his response.
He looked at me for a long moment. When he pulled me into a hug, I clung to him. Oh, thank God, I hadn't ruined everything! I leaned against his chest and he asked what had me so distracted. Recognizing his need to change the subject, I showed him the book in my hand. Maybe someday he would feel more comfortable telling me about his past, but not today. I watched the tension in his shoulders ease once the topic of conversation wasn't on him.
"That's a pretty good book. I read it a few months back. I've got a copy at home if you want to borrow it."
Another excuse to see him? Absolutely. "That would be great! Thanks."
"When do you want to get it?"
"Well, since I was so engrossed in the first few pages of it that I completely ignored my surroundings and walked face first into someone, I think I'd like to go ahead and read it. It looks like a good book to spend the evening immersed in. So, do you mind if I go with you now?" My breath caught while I waited for his answer.
"I offered, didn't I?" he said with a grin.
"I'm here with my sister and a friend. I should let them know I'm leaving. They hate the bookstore anyway, so I'm sure I will find them either listening to music or getting coffee."
"Alright, I'm going to go check out, then. If you want to, meet me over by the main entrance when you're ready."
Only at that moment did I notice that he carried a book as well. My observation skills really blew today!
When I agreed, we broke apart and he headed toward the front of the store while I went to find Karly and Claire. Finding them in the cafe as expected, I gave them a quick rundown of the last few minutes. Surprise showed on both their faces when I explained that I planned to leave with Sean.
"But you just ignored his call not an hour ago, saying you wanted to spend the day with us? What changed?"
I shrugged. "We have spent the day together. Now, I'd like to spend some time with him. He's my friend, too."
"We are going to have to have a long chat about this man, oh sister of mine. But, go. Enjoy your evening with Mr. Muscles." Karly waved a hand, dismissing me.
"Don't call him that! It's rude."
Karly stuck her tongue out at me but extracted a promise from me to have a serious discussion soon. She grabbed a giggling Claire and ran before I could change her mind. The two girls wasted no time in getting out of the bookstore now that their sole reason for being there was abandoning them.
I worked my way back to the main entrance. Sean leaned against the wall by the door, a book in his hand. I inhaled deeply at the sight of him. The past week had been spent convincing myself that we were not right for each other, I’d even told him minutes ago I wanted to be friends, but I couldn't deny the attraction.
He raised his hand to shove a lock of dark hair out of his eyes. A wave of desire flooded up over me and I had to give myself the mental equivalent of a cold shower. Knowing he was interested and still thinking about that oh-so-perfect first kiss at the waterfall made it even harder to tamp down my attraction.
Walking over, I touched his arm to get his attention. His smile made my heart skip a beat, and when he took my hand to lead me outside, I was lost. No matter how much I tried to say we would stay friends and keep our relationship platonic, I was falling for him, hard.
“Where’s the Harley?” I asked, looking around but not seeing the big motorcycle.
“It’s supposed to rain later, so I brought my car tonight,” he replied. He hit a button on his keys and lights flashed on a black car.
Damn. No excuse tonight to wrap my arms around him and press myself into his strong back. An oddly unexpected disappointment burned within me.