by Allie Kay
Sean had been careful prior to today to keep his distance physically. A quick hug or a little hand-holding, he'd allow, but rarely anything more. Yet, if Zane hadn't walked in earlier Sean would have kissed me. And I had wanted him to, so much.
My sigh was audible and filled with regret for the missed opportunity. The perfection of that first kiss stayed at the forefront of my mind. The lost chance at recreating it tormented me. All the time I’d spent with Sean over the past weeks only increased my desire to be with him. He wasn't perfect, but neither was I. He made me feel perfect, though, and after Caleb, I never thought I’d have that. He accepted me, flaws and all. Friendship would never be enough.
Sean and Zane stumbled through the door with a dresser and interrupted my thoughts. I hurried to unpack the box in front of me while the men went back downstairs. Shit, I’d spent so much time thinking about Sean I hadn't unpacked a single box.
My mom followed behind the men as they strong-armed the mattress up the stairs, a stack of pizzas in her arms. She sat the pizzas on the counter. Wrapping an arm around me, she leaned close to whisper in my ear. “Not interested, huh? Men don't carry heavy furniture for no reason. He likes you.”
I couldn't tamp down the blush, but my lips curled into a smile. I prayed my mom was right.
Mom stepped over and introduced herself to Sean. "Hi. We've never actually met. I'm Talia's mom, Helen. You're Sean, right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
I sighed in relief when Mom just patted him on the arm and offered him a soda and a slice of pizza.
With no dining room furniture moved yet, he headed into the living room with his food. Mom and I joined the men and put the rest of the pizzas on the coffee table. Sean started to rise and give up his seat, but I shoved him back down and sat on the arm of the chair.
"No point in you sitting in the floor. I can sit here. Stay where you are."
He smiled at me and leaned back to savor his pizza. Making quick work of that slice, Sean placed a hand on the small of my back and reached forward to grab another. His grazing touch set off a peal of giggles. I jerked away from him crying, "Oh, that tickled."
"I barely touched you. I was trying to make sure you didn't flip off the chair when I leaned up."
"Didn't you know that Talia is extremely ticklish?" Zane interjected with mischief in his voice.
"Shut up, Zane!" I snapped at him.
"He didn't know, did he? Well, well, what kind of brother would I be if I didn't tell him that you are ticklish all over, with the exception of maybe your forehead?" The twinkling in his eyes only intensified when Mom elbowed him.
"The kind that lives to see tomorrow!" I threw a bit of pizza crust at my older brother. "Shut up!"
Zane slumped down on the couch between our parents laughing. Clutching his sides, Zane's hearty laugh filled the room.
Sean shifted back in the chair and I turned to him. His eyes narrowed, but he didn't say a word as he slowly finished his second slice pizza.
"Just how ticklish are you?" he asked with a roguish grin.
"Don't you dare!" I squealed. He wouldn't! Would he?
With a loud snort, Sean tugged me into his lap with one big hand. His other rose to my side. When he brushed his fingers against my ribs, I shrieked and swatted at him, grabbing his neck to steady myself. I gasped for air before Sean stopped tickling me.
Chest heaving, I fought to move air into my oxygen-starved lungs. Resting my head on his shoulder, I didn't offer to get off his lap. Firm muscles beneath me shook as he laughed. He flexed his hand against my side and I let out another string of giggles in response. I tightened my grip on his neck and pulled his head down toward mine.
Sean's eyes met mine and I gasped at the longing in his eyes. My tongue darted out to moisten my lips while his hand came up to tangle in my hair. With his breathing as ragged as mine, he moved his head closer.
"Alright, that's enough. Talia, get off that man's lap and behave yourself! What are you doing?" Turning his ire to Sean, Dad growled, "And as for you, I want you to stay away from Talia. I don’t want you dating my daughter."
I couldn't hold back the sigh. Another lost opportunity.
Sean threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender and straightened up away from me. "Talia is a grown woman. I think she’s the only one whose opinion matters."
Hope blossomed at his wording.
"Daddy, Sean and I are just friends."
Dad ground out, "And yet you are still sitting on his lap. Get. Up. Talia." He enunciated every single syllable through clenched teeth. His face reddened, further proof of his anger.
I pulled myself up from Sean's lap to perch on the arm of the chair once more. "Why are you being so unreasonable about this?"
"I can see in his eyes that he's interested in you, Talia, and not as friends. I know when a man is about to kiss a woman. And that man was about to kiss you!" His work-worn hand slapped down on the coffee table to emphasize his point.
"Well, he was the one who ended our one and only kiss. He shoved me away and said we couldn't see each other. Which kind of contradicts your point, Daddy."
Sean whispered my name. Probably trying to get me to hush, but I needed to clear the air with my father. This antagonism against Sean had gone on long enough. "Daddy, I've been the one pursuing him. Not the other way around. So, if you want to yell at someone, yell at me! Sean's been nothing but a gentleman to me. Cut him some slack, will you, please?"
Mom spoke up and told us both to hush. "Sean has been nothing but polite that I have seen, Sam. You're being a little harsh. All they were doing is goofing around a little, no harm done. And Talia, I didn't raise you to speak so disrespectfully to your father. Both of you need to calm down."
"I don't want to cause any trouble, so I'm just going to go. I have to get over to the club soon anyway," Sean's deep voice rumbled from beside me. He eased up from the chair, taking care not to knock me off the arm where I still perched. "Do you need a ride?" I shook my head no. "I'll call you later then," he whispered, squeezing my hand before he left.
"I don't want you around him, Talia. I want better for you than a damn bartender. Let me introduce you to this new guy I hired. Since you have a thing for older guys, he might be a good option for you. He seems like a good guy."
"Daddy, no. Thanks, but no. I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now," I said, sinking into the chair Sean had vacated. I found it somewhat amusing that a bartender failed to be good enough, but a construction worker was. Neither was a bad job, but my dad's logic made no sense.
"You seem interested in him though." My father's retort made the word him sound like a slur.
"I am. It's no secret. He knows it, you know it. He isn't interested in getting involved with me though, so it's not going anywhere."
"He most definitely is interested in you. Even a damn blind man could see that. Talia, that man is not right for you."
Tired of fighting, I asked, "Mom, can I borrow your car? I rode over with Sean and I just really can't do this anymore." I needed a nice, long soak in the tub and wanted to leave before my dad could wind himself up for more of a lecture.
Sean called from the club later that night. Glad that I had left it within reach, I answered the phone with a lazy voice. The relaxing scent of the bubble bath and the hot water had eased the tension from my muscles.
"Hey, sunshine, is your daddy still on the warpath?"
"I'm so glad you called. I honestly don't know about Daddy. I borrowed Mom's car and left Zane's a few minutes after you did. I assume he's calmed down. He started talking about introducing me to some new guy at his work and I took off."
Sean didn't say anything for a minute. The thump of the bass coming through the phone told me that he hadn't hung up. When he spoke, his voice sounded odd to my ears, but I couldn't place why. "He wants to hook you up with someone?"
"Yeah, some guy he works with. He got pissed when I said I wasn't interested and that's when I left. I don't even know who this gu
y is, but I know I don't want to meet him."
"Why not? Don't you want your daddy to pick your dates for you?"
"No, I don't." I laughed. "If you have to know, there's someone else I'm into right now. But he's stubborn and thinks he isn't good enough for me, even though I'm not anything special."
"Talia…"
"Look, Sean, it's getting late. Do you want to hang out tomorrow? I don't have to work. Can you believe it, a short shift on Saturday and Sunday off?"
"Sure. You want me to pick you up?"
"I'll just come over. Say about noon? Or is that too early?"
"Noon is fine. I'll make sure I'm up. And Talia, you are more special than you know." He ended the call before I could respond. His last comment left me sinking down into the bubbles with a broad smile on my face.
18
Talia
The side of the gym that housed the karate studio was filled with chattering women. I sat with Mom and Karly, waiting for the self-defense class Dad had signed us all up for to start. So far, not a single man had walked through the door.
"Do you think they'll teach us how to kick a guy's ass?" Karly hopped up and stomped around the matted floor in the gym.
"I doubt that. More just how to hurt him enough that you can run away."
"I don't know why Dad is making me take this class anyway. Talia's the one with the crazy asshole stalker."
"Because he worries about all of us and this is good for you to know as well. And it won't hurt you to be supportive of your sister. Watch your language, please."
I rolled my eyes at my mom's indulgent tone. She gave in a lot with Karly, always had. It's probably why my sister was such a wild child.
Karly continued to grumble about being forced into the class. I glared at her, hoping she would shut up. I, for one, wanted to be here. Some church had put a flyer on my car at work the other day and I’d had tears rolling down my cheeks before I even touched it. I resolved to take my life back, to stop being afraid. Learning to defend myself was a big part of that.
The instructor finally came in. For a small man in his late forties, he looked cut. I’d never realized someone so tiny could look so strong. He gave a little speech about surroundings, clothing less likely to attract attention, and what this class would cover. Then he asked us to break into pairs. Karly grabbed Mom's hand and left me looking around for a partner. Crap. No one else was partner-less. Of course, that’s just how my luck was running this year, as the one who needed this class the most, I would end up without a partner.
"Ah, we one short. One minute, I find you partner. You ladies go ahead. Practice first move. Red, you watch. Get extra practice time after."
Red? Ugh. I hated being called Red almost as much as being called Shorty. I watched the instructor slip into one of the side rooms, exit that one, and out into the main part of the gym. I was going to be partner-less all damn night. I turned my attention back to my mom and Karly. My sister was far more adept at getting free than our mother. Karly moved quickly into motion while Mom hesitated more.
I jumped a foot when the instructor laid a bony hand on my shoulder and a very unladylike expletive slipped from my lips. I turned toward him and my mouth dropped open in shock as I saw who stood next to him.
"I found partner. You no mind wrestling big, sweaty man for evening?"
"Hey, sunshine." My heart raced as I looked up at Sean.
"Sean? What are you doing here?"
"Ah, you know each other. Even better! Yay! Now we move on. She need practice after. You help, yes?" He slapped Sean on the back and wandered back to the front of the class.
Sean moved over next to me and turned his attention to the instructor. I couldn't keep my eyes off him, even when he nudged me to pay attention.
When we got to the practice part, I had no clue where to start. I’d been fascinated with a drop of sweat on Sean's brow and its trek down his strong jaw and completely missed the instruction. I looked frantically at my mom and sister to see what they were doing.
Sean whispered directions. I ended up on the mat, flat on my back, with Sean looming over me. I was supposed to trap one of his arms against me, wrap my leg around his, and flip us over so I was on top. All I ended up doing was grinding myself into him.
Desire flared up in his eyes. He didn't move. I tried again. He let out a ragged exhale and squeezed his eyes closed. The third try, I managed to flip him. Or maybe he let me. I didn't know. But now I sat astride him. Yoga pants and gym shorts separated us. He twitched beneath me. That was it. I leaned down; he raised up. His hand tangled in my hair and our lips met. It was glorious. Everything I had been waiting for in a second kiss. Hot lips, smooth tongue, Sean's hard body pressed against mine. Perfect.
At least it was until the entire class started clapping and cheering.
Panic and guilt won out over desire in Sean's eyes. He shook his head and shut down all emotion. I found myself sitting back on my ass on the mat when he jumped up. He walked away, back stiff. The whispers and giggles started the moment the door closed behind him. Mom and Karly reached out for me, but I was on my feet and following him before they reached me.
19
Sean
I stomped out of the karate studio and into the alley next to the building. I shoved my forehead against the brick wall and closed my eyes. What the hell was I thinking? Kissing Talia like that. In front of her mom. Her sister. Everyone.
I hauled my arm back and slammed a fist into the wall. Pain spiked through my hand and it throbbed like a mother. I deserved it. Rather me be in pain than Talia. I flexed my hand and winced when the throbbing renewed.
"Punching walls isn't the best idea now, is it?"
I looked up to see Talia's dad staring at me, looking amused. The old man wouldn't be amused if he knew why I was punching this wall. Fuck him. I drew my fist back and slammed it into the brick. Again. And again.
Until a soft voice cut through my rage. "Sean. Stop, please."
I turned to face her and the anger slid away. She stared up at me with those big green eyes that haunted my every waking moment and tormented me in my sleep. I looked down at her and slumped back against the wall. I covered my head with my hands.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Are you okay?"
I didn't uncover my face. I didn't speak. What the fuck could I say? Was I okay? Hell no, I wasn't okay. I was as far from okay as a man could get without bleeding. A trickle of blood ran down my wrist.
Scratch that. I was as far from okay as a man without a bullet in his chest could get. This hurt worse than getting shot.
Opening my eyes, I focused on her. I saw her mom and sister join her dad out of the corner of my eye. Why not have her whole damn family here? Where was her brother? Might as well call him up so he didn't miss the show.
What's a few more to watch her break my stupid heart?
She reached out to me. My traitorous heart skipped a beat and fuck if I didn't lean into her touch. She stroked my cheek and I closed my eyes before I started bawling like a damn baby. God, I wanted this woman. More than I had ever wanted anyone.
She picked up my battered hand and manipulated it. Her touch was gentle, but I still sucked in a harsh breath as she moved it. "Why'd you have to go punch a wall? I know the way they all cheered was a little embarrassing, but the world didn't end, you know."
"Why were people cheering?" her dad asked. Karly looked too delighted to tell him.
Talia ignored her family. She shushed her dad when the growling started and stepped up close to me. I gulped down a big lump in my throat when she put her little hands on my chest and smiled at me.
When I opened my mouth, I couldn't hold back and an outpouring of confessions flowed out before I could shut them off. "You're killing me. I can't do this anymore. It's eating me up inside. I ran my bike out of gas because I was too distracted, thinking of you. I've poured perfectly good whiskey all over my bar because I caught a glimpse of red hair out on the dance floor. I can't sleep for
thinking of you. If I do sleep, I wake up thinking about you. I can't do this anymore. I want you too badly to be your friend. It's all I can do to keep from going all caveman on you and hauling you back to my place and kissing you until you never want to leave."
Her little mouth gaped open in shock and I looked away. Fuck. I’d scared her. I shook my stupid head and stomped away. I ruined everything I touched. I should have known better than to let myself even dream about a girl like Talia.
20
Talia
After getting kicked out of the nursing program, I’d had to rethink my entire life plan. All thanks to letting a stupid male get me off track. But I did have one thing to thank Caleb for. Thanks to his treatment of me, I’d discovered a new passion. I wanted to help other women like me who’d been abused.
I spent the morning volunteering at a women’s shelter just off the interstate. Anna had been working there for a while and had encouraged me to come help out. The director was a young woman, just a few years older than me, but I could tell straight away that Amanda had a calling for the work. Seeing the work that she was doing there made me feel like I was on the right path with this. I wanted to help others who weren’t lucky enough to have a family to go home to like I did.
My phone buzzed the moment I walked out of the shelter. I rarely received phone calls during the day, so it surprised me to see Caleb's name on the caller ID. Until today, he hadn’t tried to contact me since the incident at Garden the night I met Sean. But clearly, it had been too much to hope that I would never have to deal with him again.
I let the call roll to voice mail, but he called right back. Twice. I answered the third time. My tone was reluctant, but he didn't seem to care.
"Talia, we need to talk. We should have dinner tonight."
"No thanks."
"Excuse me? I've given you a little time. Time to come to your senses. To come back to me. I'm not going to wait any longer. You will have dinner with me tonight."