by Heather Boyd
Meredith lifted her chin defiantly. “Yes.”
“Good. Saves me from suggesting you move on. The gentlemen who come here require younger flesh.”
The hurtful words cut Meredith to the core, but she didn’t dare show how much. She’d thought Linnie had become a friend. Meredith had learned the hard way never to reveal the depths of her emotions. Instead of arguing, she twirled the ring on her finger, defiantly taunting the abbess—she might not be young but she knew how to win any bet that involved pleasuring a man.
Linnie turned to Cook. “See that she takes all her belongings. She has one quarter of an hour to go.”
When Linnie’s footsteps were a faraway echo, Cook gestured to the hallway. “Don’t mind her. She’ll have a drink to soothe her sadness once you’ve gone on your way. Come along then.”
Collecting her things took little time. Stepping from the rear door took all her courage. Cook embraced her quickly. “Now.” She sniffed. “I don’t want to see your face again and I don’t want you to write to say where you’ve gone. Best not to know.”
Cook gave her a little push out the back door and when it closed, Meredith shivered. Alone again. Dependent on no one. Wanted by none. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. The woman waiting in the carriage seemed sincere. Meredith strode from the brothel with her head held high and a saucy sway to her stride. A groom helped her step into the dim carriage and the lady held out a blanket for her knees. When the door shut, she glanced up at the house’s façade. Linnie stood at the window to her office, one hand raised in silent goodbye, a tumbler in her other hand. Meredith blew a kiss in return and then faced forward for the next chapter in her life.
CHAPTER 10
CALISTA HAD SAID no. Constantine cursed his poor judgment of timing, looking out at the bright day without enjoyment, wishing he was riding fast toward his lover.
She’d been adamant. She refused to consider that she might have sufficient skills to be a governess to his children simply because of her background.
She’d been angry. Despite his best efforts to convince her, she’d brushed his suggestions aside. When he’d promised that he would never lay a finger on an employee, she’d lost all interest in the topic and in him.
When he’d left, promising the offer was still open should she change her mind, she wouldn’t look at him but reminded him that they’d never see eye to eye. That had been three days ago and he was miserable. Constantly picturing her in the arms of other men was driving him insane.
Constantine paced the room. The emptiness of his life, of Stanton Harold Hall, filled him and left him unable to concentrate. For a time, thanks to the lure of Calista’s company, he’d thought he might have found his feet again. But his needs, his insatiable desire to know where the blasted woman was, who she was with, to protect her and keep her for himself, had driven a wedge between them.
It did no good to become attached to a whore, she’d told him. He knew that. Everyone knew that. Unfortunately, he’d been powerless to avoid falling under her spell. He’d never met another woman of her like and never would again. And the worst of it was that he didn’t even know her real name.
“I’ve always preferred a man with a full head of hair. You’ll have none left if you keep tugging at it like that.”
A distraction, thank God. He turned to face the room again. “Your timing is impeccable, Lady Farnsworth.”
“Hmm, I’ve heard that same expression twice this week. I do love coincidences.” Arabella glided forward. “I have news and I need your help.”
He stared at her. Given that she wasn’t carrying Calista in her pocket, he doubted her news was all that good. However, he’d do her the favor of hearing her out. Maybe her news could provide enough diversion to save his hair. “Anything.”
“My dear brother-in-law has ordered me to London to assist with his daughter’s coming out months before the season starts.” Her nose wrinkled with distaste. “Unfortunately, I am not in a position to take my companion with me. Farnsworth would grumble incessantly about the expense, but I have a feeling the lady might be better suited as a governess if you like her.”
“You’re not going to Mercy’s wedding?”
“No. Farnsworth’s note did not allow for any delay. I am disappointed beyond all reason.”
Since when had Arabella gained a companion? Had he been so wrapped up in his own concerns that he’d failed to remember her telling him when she’d been here yesterday? He must have been. “Surely Farnsworth would not be so cruel as to deprive you of company.”
“As Farnsworth has told me before, he may do as he wishes and I must comply.” Her eyes dimmed. “But enough of me. I’m sure you’ve forgotten the details already, but you might recall I chanced upon a young lady a few days ago in need of honest employment.”
Grayling couldn’t remember her saying a word about it and he wasn’t keen on the idea of letting a stranger near his daughters. To consider it, the woman would have to be extraordinary. “Surely there are other ladies of your acquaintance who might take her in?”
“Not when she was dismissed for failing to perform her duties.”
“That is not altogether comforting.” Constantine raised a hand to his head, but at the last second refrained from tugging his hair out. “I need someone who will not run away when the children are difficult and who will obey my instructions. I’ve the devil’s luck at keeping governesses.”
“If you allow her some independence then you should have no problem. I interviewed the lady at length these past few days while she stayed with me and I understand the difficulties she had when faced with a task that had grown distasteful. I can tell you anything you need to know without adding to her embarrassment. Nothing you ask would be too much, I’m sure, but a little latitude would be advisable. She dislikes being taken for granted or taken advantage of.”
He understood the feeling. No one liked being taken advantage of. Constantine skirted his desk and sat behind it. If Arabella had undertaken the interviewing, then he would trust her knowledge and acquire the information he needed directly from her. When they met, he could decide very quickly if he wanted her or not. He pulled out a notebook and pen, poised to take notes. “Her age?”
He needed someone young enough not to complain about the number of stairs and to play with the children. They were fond of hide-and-seek.
“She didn’t say, but what woman likes to admit to that?” Arabella shrugged. “Her age is a little beneath mine, I imagine. She’s quite small and that does tend to skew one’s estimation of her years.”
Calista had not wanted to reveal her age either. Was that common among all women or just the ones he met with? A woman slightly younger than Arabella would be good. His own wife was of a similar age when she’d passed. The children would benefit from someone with more energy than the frail nurse currently supervising their care. “Who has she worked for in the past? Anyone I know?”
Arabella made an odd sound and he looked up. Her face had twisted in distaste. “That question does pose a problem unfortunately. You, see she was dismissed without a reference after a year of exemplary service. She’s guided many a young lady to come out, as it were. There is really no one to speak up for her experience, but she has all the poise and grace of a lady. She has impressed me beyond measure these past days. The girls would thrive under her influence.”
Constantine carefully placed his pen on the table and then closed the book. “How can you expect me to go along with this? You don’t know the first thing about her, do you? She could be anyone, masquerading under a false name, for all you know.” Calista had opened his eyes to that. A lesson he’d not soon forget. “You trust far too easily.”
Arabella drew in a deep breath. “I am an excellent judge of character. I took one look at her defiant eyes and knew that here was a woman with fortitude. She’s more than a match for the rigors of any position in this house.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
“Oh, good. That was
remarkably easy to convince you to see her. I’ll just pop out and fetch her from the carriage. Miss Clark seemed rather reluctant to step inside before I spoke to you first. I find it hard to believe she was shy of meeting you.”
Before he could stop her, Arabella swept from the room, only to return a short time later with a darkly clad figure at her back. “Lord Grayling, may I present Miss Meredith Clark.”
Gray’s eyes narrowed on the tiny woman at Arabella’s side and then his pulse leapt. He fell into the familiar world-weary gaze, now hidden behind wire-rimmed spectacles, and he stiffened. Everywhere. Calista. But looking nothing like he’d ever encountered before. Her beautiful hair was cropped short and sleeked against her skull. Her drab clothes covered so much of her that she appeared perfectly spinsterish. She did not look anything like the ravenous creature who had crawled all over his senses for hours on end. But he could not dismiss the resemblance.
She’d come to him.
And yet again, she was pretending to be someone else.
Calista dipped a curtsy, eyes downcast and demure. When she rose, she did not meet his gaze.
Then he remembered what Arabella said about distasteful requests. He met his friend’s gaze and saw her happy smile dim and fade away into seriousness. She must know where Calista had been formerly employed. But how could the two of them be together? He thought back over all that Arabella had said. Had Calista been thrown out of the House when he’d not returned, even if he’d paid to keep her nights free? He swallowed past the lump forming in his throat as he imagined the worst. Anything could have happened to Calista. Arabella had rescued his lover from the worst straits a woman could be in.
He rocked on his heels, trying to find the right words to convey his gratitude, his panic, his hope. He’d been worried. He should have gone back of his own accord, if only to ensure her nights were free from others. He should never have let her dismiss him so easily.
Arabella smiled again, nodding as if approving of his line of thought.
He glanced at Calista. He had to talk to her about their last morning together and he would rather do so alone. “Arabella, would you be so kind as to…”
“Fetch the children? Yes, I really do think a meeting today would be a perfectly acceptable beginning. Excuse me.”
When Arabella swept out, Constantine surged around the table and caught Calista’s hands in his. They were so cold he immediately began to chafe them with his own to warm her up. “I never thought to see you here.”
The mask of indifference fell from her eyes, and she wrenched her hands from his and set them on her hips. “You have terrible friends.”
“Excuse me?”
Calista waved toward the door. “That woman convinced me that she had a place for me, then today informed me she no longer did, and all the while hinting that you were sickening slowly. Despicable woman. She’s a far better liar than I am.”
So her spirit had not been crushed by recent events. She was still as feisty as ever. “Do not be angry with Arabella. She has a difficult time of it. Her brother-in-law treats her as a marionette since he gained her late husband’s title. She has no love for his brat of a daughter, either. But Arabella is completely dependent on him, so when he says come to London, she must.”
An indelicate snort left Calista and the sound made him smile. She was here. He had another chance to keep her safe, comfortable, and warm. He wrapped her small hands in his. “So, tell me truthfully. Is Calista or Meredith Clark your real name? When will you tell me your secrets?”
“It is Meredith Clark for now. Next week, I could change my mind and be someone else entirely.” Her brow rose haughtily. “But my secrets are mine to keep. Coming here was a mistake. Goodbye, Grayling.”
When she spun on her heel, headed toward the door, Constantine quickly blocked her path. “Wait. Please. I only need to know what you want to tell me. Please don’t go yet. I have worried for you.”
“There was no cause for alarm. I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.” She glanced toward the door. “What on earth possessed you to mention my existence and our association to a countess? Have you lost your mind?”
Bravely, Constantine took her hand in his and kissed it. “I told her nothing, but she doesn’t miss a trick. She saw an improvement in my temper and divined the reason for it on her own. It was never my intention for you to meet, but I am not sorry that you have, for you are here now.”
He guided Calista, Meredith, away from the door. “How did you come to be acquainted? I cannot imagine she would come to the bawdy house where you lived.”
Calista’s brow rose. “And that, my lord, is where your reasoning is in error.”
Constantine gaped. He dropped into a nearby chair, taking Calista with him so she sat at his side. “She didn’t.”
“She did. Though I must admit I am grateful. The lady has impeccable timing. I was on the point of resuming my duties.”
Constantine brushed his fingers along the length of her sleeve. A question burned his tongue. Had she lain with another? Had she enjoyed another man as much as she appeared to enjoy what they had done together? He wanted to ask, but he didn’t know how to phrase the question without sounding as jealous as he was. Calista did not like expectations. She didn’t want his affection.
Calista heaved a heavy sigh. “I’ve slept with none but you. My courses arrived and prevented my return to entertaining any other guests in the interim.”
Constantine closed his eyes. That last night together had preyed on his mind. Once he’d almost been too late and had come close to spending inside her. At least now he knew she didn’t carry his child.
Calista relaxed eventually while Constantine rubbed his fingers over her palm. “However it came to be, I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m not. I swore I would never do this.”
“Do what?”
“Depend on a gentleman for my welfare. I’ve always preferred my independence, but I’ve nowhere else to go given the speed of Lady Farnsworth’s departure.”
“Were you not beholden to the bawd for your living?”
“The House was not the first brothel I’ve lived in, nor should I think it the last.”
The idea of her walking from his door and into another similar situation appalled him. “Stay with me instead,” he blurted quickly.
She shook her head. “I cannot promise that.”
“For as long as you can bear it then. Stay and be governess to my daughters. But if you wanted it, you could have my protection for the rest of your life.”
She rubbed her brow. “You’re just keen to have your wicked way with me again.”
Why deny it? He’d give his fortune to keep the little minx in his bed. But he’d made a promise and, difficult or not, when she entered his service he intended to keep it. “While the idea definitely appeals, I gave you my word. Sharing my bed would never be part of our new arrangement. As much as I would enjoy it, and I hope you would too, I’d much rather keep you safe and warm.”
“Such a gentleman.”
“I try to be.” He kissed her hand again. “I’m not saying it will be easy. I’ve no doubt it shall be hard to forget sharing your bed. But I’m willing to ignore your allure if you can do the same for mine.”
Her hand wrenched free from his as she faced him. “Why do you want me here if not to take me to bed?”
Constantine leaned back against the chair. “I can’t be certain but I think I may like your company. You’re a bright spark of light I run to catch. Arabella sees the good in you, too. She would never have brought you here to meet my children if she thought you in any way inappropriate. She was my wife’s best friend.”
“You don’t like to speak of her.”
He smiled. “It’s hard to admit I’ve not set aside the memory of my first love when I have a woman writhing naked on my lap. When would have been the right time to mention I had trouble sleeping at night for missing her?”
An unladylike grunt left Calista�
��s mouth and then she scowled. “You sleep soundly enough most nights.”
He couldn’t help but smile. “You may take credit for all of that if it pleases you. If it eases your pride somewhat, my spirits have been quite low since we parted company.”
She could take credit for the immediate improvement and a whole lot more but he wouldn’t mention the changes she’d brought to his life already. Just seeing her again was enough.
Calista scowled. “You look terribly healthy to me.”
He caught her hands again. “I’m not. I truly am miserable. It’s just the unexpected surprise of seeing you again and here that has improved my spirits. If it helps, I can pretend to be unwell. Would you be my nursemaid and visit my sickbed?”
“I see that you lie very well, too. You told me you did not opportune the women in your employ. I was wrong about you.”
“Ah, but you haven’t said yes yet, and I’ve fallen into our old habit of teasing each other. I’ve always enjoyed our little battles of words and you are a hard woman to deny. Almost irresistible.” He had meant that he would keep her at a distance, but he was simply too overwhelmed with relief at seeing her again to behave appropriately. “I would keep my word if you were to stay. I promise.”
Although her gaze was skeptical, the arrival of his children halted their conversation. Arabella carried Poppy toward Calista and stopped before her. “This is Grayling’s youngest, Lady Poppy Hunt.” She gestured to each of the girls. “Lady Willow and Lady Maisy Hunt. The sweetest girls you could ever hope to meet.”
To Constantine’s surprise, Poppy leaned toward Calista and attempted to catch her glasses in her chubby little fists. Surprisingly, Calista merely moved her head back, slipped her glasses off and into her reticule, and took the child. She turned Poppy to face the room. An effective way to avoid similar incidents, one that had taken some time for him to discover and implement.
Calista brushed her chin against the baby’s hair. “They have such lovely names.”
Seeing Calista with his youngest daughter in her arms settled his anxiety. She appeared confident enough to hold a young child. How she would handle the other two remained to be seen. “My wife chose their names. She was very fond of flowers and shrubs.”