by J A Stone
“I want a baby. Why is that so hard for you to understand?” Corey’s eyes flashed, and her voice went up a notch.
“You don’t understand,” Larry said grimly. “I love my two girls, but parenthood is tough. Sherri doesn’t work; she has full-time help, and yet we eat out two or three nights a week because she doesn’t have time to cook. How can you possibly handle your career . . . and motherhood . . . alone?”
“I’ll have full-time help, too, and I already eat out every night, so I’m ahead of the game.” Corey tried to lighten Larry’s decidedly somber mood.
Larry wasn’t taking the bait. “It’s no game we’re talking about here. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’ve always had a soft spot for you, so I’m just going to put it all out there. You’ve had more shit happen to you than any one person deserves. So why you brought this on yourself, I just don’t understand. You know, Tom Crane and every other misogynist in this firm are going to be saying that this is why we shouldn’t hire women.”
Corey couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You mean because I want to have a family, just like you and Tom and every other man in this firm?”
“I’m going to be honest with you, Corey. I’ve been the managing partner for almost ten years. During that time, I’ve had three married women associates resign after having children to be stay-at-home moms. We had invested three or four years in those women, and poof, one day they just left with no warning. Guess how many male associates have done that to us?”
“Well, I can’t be a stay-at-home mom. I’m going to have to work to support my baby.”
“If you had become pregnant, with a husband, with Luke, there still would have been speculation about whether you were coming back from your maternity leave, or maybe about how long you would stay after the baby was born. But . . . this . . . I mean . . . those old codgers are going to have a field day with you deciding to have a baby on your own. They’re going to be looking for any excuse not to promote you, or worse.”
Corey was shaken by the vehemence in Larry’s voice. “I guess I’ll just have to make sure I don’t give them any excuse.”
Larry shook his head wearily, and his tone became calmer. “You don’t understand. The nanny will get sick, the baby will have an emergency, there will be something that happens that is out of your control. And when it does, Tom Crane will be the first person in my office to say, ‘I told you so.’”
Corey stubbornly refused to agree. “There’s a first time for everything. I’ll just have to be the first.”
“I hope so,” Larry said in a not-so-very-hopeful voice. The phone on his desk rang. “I’ve got to take this. I’ve been expecting this call.”
CHAPTER 10
Amazingly, when Corey got back to her office, she was able to get an appointment with Dr. Byrne for the next day. She supposed telling the receptionist about her fainting episode at the gym had made her an emergency of sorts. She must have landed on her right arm when she fell because it was extremely sore and was already turning black-and-blue in several places. But other than the arm, she felt fine. Still, she wanted to make sure as soon as possible that she hadn’t harmed the baby.
When she finally made it home after the day from hell, Kathryn was talking to a carpenter in Corey’s bedroom. As best as Corey could tell, the carpenter had made the shelves too short for the closet and was going to have to redo them. She supposed it was just that kind of day. She didn’t interrupt Kathryn. She just gave her a weary wave as she went to the guest room, where her clothes had been transferred, and changed out of her suit. When she came out, the carpenter was gone, and Kathryn was sitting on the sofa, drinking a glass of wine.
“I took the liberty of opening one of your bottles of wine. I figured from the look you gave me when you walked in, and from the way I feel, we could both use a drink.”
Corey shook her head. “None for me, thanks. I’m gonna be off the wine for a while.”
Kathryn looked at Corey curiously. “Um . . . what does that mean?”
“I’m pregnant. I had artificial insemination right before I hired you, and I just found out that it worked.”
“Well, I guess your ‘stomach bug’ makes sense now. But if you were artificially inseminated, why didn’t you suspect you were pregnant?”
“Too busy to think, I guess.” What a lame excuse, Corey thought, but Kathryn didn’t ask any more questions; she just looked at Corey even more curiously.
Later that night, Corey had to add Romeo and Gary to the growing list of people who were unhappy about her pregnancy.
“It’s bad enough that we’ve had to endure all of that noise with your renovations,” Gary complained, “but now a baby too?”
“Did you not read the condo covenants before you moved in?” added Romeo sarcastically. “This is an upscale, trendy midtown neighborhood. Babies don’t belong here; they belong in the suburbs.”
The only good thing about the entire day was that Diane had called while Corey was next door with Romeo and Gary. The message on her machine was brief: “I love you, Corey. If you are happy about this baby, then I’m happy too. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
It was a small ray of hope, which Corey clung to desperately. For perhaps the first time in her life, she was on her own. She didn’t know much about babies, and she was afraid of having a baby alone, but she knew with certainty that having the baby was the right thing to do. The rest she would just have to figure out as she went along.
Corey began to feel her first twinges of happiness about the pregnancy as she walked to her appointment with Dr. Byrne the next day. His office was located in the building next to hers, so she wouldn’t have to waste time in traffic going to appointments. Still, Erica had been frantic all morning trying to reschedule two hours of Corey’s day so that she could go to this appointment. After a thorough examination, Dr. Byrne determined that everything was fine, and that her due date was tax day—April 15. Corey decided to tell everyone that her due date was May 10. If she didn’t have a nine-pound baby on April 15, no one would ever suspect a thing.
For several days, Corey was once again the focal point of the firm’s gossip. She tried to avoid being in the hallways at work as much as possible. However, when one of the partners was found to be having an affair with an associate, the news about her pregnancy fell off the office radar. And when the irate wife threatened a nasty public divorce, Corey’s pregnancy was all but forgotten.
By the end of September, Corey was completely over her morning sickness and feeling better than she could ever remember. She was eating healthy food, exercising, and sleeping for at least seven or eight hours every night. She awoke energized each morning and ready to take on the world.
By mid-October, Corey was beginning to think that the work on the master bathroom would never end. As much as she loved having Kathryn in and out of the condo all the time, she was anxious for everything to be finished before Thanksgiving so that it would be perfect when Diane, Jack, and Marcy got there.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, Corey’s guests arrived just after the painter had finished putting the final touch-ups on the cream walls of the master bathroom. The blue-and-green tiles gave the bathroom a bit of a tropical feel, as did the now massive ficus tree, sitting under a skylight in the corner.
“This doesn’t even seem like the same place,” Jack said, walking around and around in the large closet in awe.
“If I had a bathroom like this, I’d never get anything done around the house. I’d just float around in my pool . . . uh, I mean, bathtub, all day,” Diane said.
“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s finally done. It will be so nice to have my house back to myself.”
“Well, it won’t be just your house for too much longer,” Diane reminded her.
“I haven’t forgotten about the baby, if that’s what you’re trying to say,” Corey laughed. “As a matter of fact, y’all need to give me a moment in here alone. How can I forget there’s a baby when it’s making me pee
all the time?”
The next morning, Corey and Diane cooked while Jack and Marcy rode out to Peachtree Wilden to pick up Nancy. Taking some chopped onions from Corey, and adding them to melted butter in a saucepan, Diane said, “You really seem happy, and you certainly look healthy.”
“I am happy, and I’m taking these prenatal vitamins that look like horse pills, so how could I not be healthy?”
“It’s just a really big step you’re taking.” Diane added tiny bits of flour to the butter/onion mixture. “I wish you had started out with a dog or something.”
“What about the ficus? It’s doing great!”
“Babies are a little bit more labor intensive than plants. I guess mainly I just wish you lived closer so that I could help you more. I had mom helping me all the time that first year after Marcy was born.”
Corey didn’t say anything. However, a feeling of sadness swept over her as sharp and as fresh as the day she and Diane had said good-bye to their mother at the hospital. Corey’s eyes filled with tears, and her face started to collapse into itself. These emotions surprised her. She had thought she was done grieving over her mother and father. Suddenly she realized that grief was a chronic condition. The symptoms of grief might diminish over time, but you never fully recovered from it. She wished their mother could have been here to help her with her new baby too.
“Oh sweetie,” Diane began, “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Then, wanting to change the subject, she said, “Hey, guess who I saw the other day?”
Corey managed to pull her facial muscles back down into some semblance of normalcy, and she wiped the tears away with the back of her sleeve. “I don’t know. Who?”
“Tripp.” Diane offered the word carefully, watching to see if Corey might have any more unusual reactions. Seeing none, she continued, “I told him we were coming here for Thanksgiving, and he wanted to know how you were doing. He seemed real surprised to hear that you’re pregnant.”
“Well, I guess artificial insemination isn’t exactly the norm.” Corey wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve. “Is he still dating Lucy from Ohio? I’m sure you asked.”
“Yes, he said he was.” Diane turned and started pouring chicken broth into the saucepan.
“Good for him. I hope it works out this time.”
“Honey, we’re home!” Jack yelled from the front door.
“You okay?” Diane gave Corey a quick, assessing glance.
“Sure . . . I guess my pregnancy hormones are making me a bit crazy.”
When they sat down to eat, Corey thought the difference between last year’s Thanksgiving table and this year’s was remarkable. Last year they’d gone through the motions of having Thanksgiving even though everyone would have probably preferred just to skip it. They had sat stiffly in their little circle of chairs at the dining-room table. Jack had eaten more than his share and gushed over Diane’s cooking. Diane’s conversation had been the social glue holding their tiny group together and covering all awkward silences. Marcy had been an uncomfortable preteen, unsure of how to proceed in the uncharted waters. And Corey and Nancy had sat with zombielike calm, thinking about the void at the table, which was as obvious as if a place had been set for Luke.
There was a different vibe this year. Conversation ebbed and flowed naturally around the table. Out of the corner of her eye, Corey watched Nancy chatting with Marcy. Nancy seemed much more robust than she had even a month ago, and she stunned Corey when she asked for second helpings of the dressing. As they were enjoying thick slices of pecan pie with ice cream, Nancy asked Diane what she thought about being an aunt. Diane pondered it for a moment before answering. “I’m thrilled as I can be about Corey having Luke’s baby, but I am a little concerned about my baby sister being up here so far away from me when she has a baby. She needs to have her family around her.”
Nancy seemed to tense for a moment before replying, “I am family and will be here to help her in whatever way I can.”
“I could quit school and move to Atlanta to help her,” Marcy offered. And just like that, the tense moment was gone, and the atmosphere at the table went back to one of congeniality.
CHAPTER 11
December brought the melancholy feelings back to Corey that had been gone during the fall. Suddenly she had to struggle to keep her emotions in check. The twinkling Christmas lights that sprouted on houses and lampposts almost overnight brought tears to her eyes, and she found herself sobbing whenever a cheesy Hallmark commercial came on television. Even Romeo and Gary’s Christmas Elf Extravaganza didn’t cheer her up. Corey decided that if watching adults partying in elf costumes didn’t lift her spirits, there was no hope for her.
She thought it wasn’t so much her grief that had her feeling blue these days—but Christmas looming ahead of her, empty and lonely. Going to Florida was out of the question. Corey had mounds of work that had to be finished before the end of the year. Besides, she wasn’t going to leave Nancy to suffer alone through her second Christmas without Luke. She had proudly refused Diane’s offer to come to Atlanta for the holidays. Diane’s family had spent the previous Christmas there with Corey and Nancy—that first Christmas without Luke. But Corey knew that Diane enjoyed being in her own home for Christmas, and she wouldn’t allow her to do it again this year.
The only silver lining to her cloud of gloom was that she and Kathryn had become fast friends. Kathryn was recently divorced and always available to go out to dinner or to a movie whenever Corey could make it. Because Kathryn lived in Norcross, it was often easier for her just to stay over at Corey’s condo when they did things at night, particularly if Kathryn had an appointment in Atlanta the next day. For the first time since college, Corey spent time just hanging out with a girlfriend, watching television and doing the kinds of things that girlfriends do—snacking on popcorn and talking until the wee hours of the morning. Kathryn admitted to knowing very little about childbirth, but she promised Corey she would go to the childbirth classes with her and be her labor coach during delivery. And after the Christmas holidays, Kathryn would start transforming an extra bedroom into a nursery.
To help Corey out of her doldrums, Kathryn insisted she have a Christmas tree. “It will make you feel better. I promise.”
“Okay, you handle it,” Corey said. “Get one and decorate it for me. I don’t have the time, nor do I really care to decorate one.”
“It’s not the same if you don’t have a hand in it. Plus, you need to do something other than work.”
Which was why, on the second Saturday afternoon in December, they were at a Christmas-tree lot, looking over every tree. Corey had liked the first tree they saw, but it didn’t suit Kathryn, nor had the last twenty trees. “Just pick a tree,” Corey said, her frustration clearly evident as her cell phone rang. The glare of the sun made it impossible to see who was calling.
“Let it go,” Kathryn ordered. “No work today.” Corey looked at Kathryn defiantly, pushed the green button, and answered the call.
“Corey?”
Corey was surprised that she recognized Tripp’s voice instantly. “Hey,” she said as she walked away from Kathryn toward the empty corner of the lot, where the Christmas music pouring over loudspeakers wasn’t quite as loud.
“Sounds like you’re busy.”
“Just shopping for a Christmas tree.” Corey’s heart, which had been minding its own business for weeks now, suddenly made its presence known.
“Well, I won’t keep you. I got your number from Diane because I’m going to be in Atlanta next week, and I want to take you out to dinner one night.”
“Which night?” She hoped her voice didn’t sound as panicky as she felt.
“Any night is fine,” he answered.
A part of her really wanted to see him, and a part of her was afraid to see him. What if he suspects something? “How about Thursday?” she finally asked when she realized the silence was stretching a bit long.
“That would be great. Is seven o’clock okay?”<
br />
“Sure.”
“I’ll call that afternoon and get directions.”
“Okay.”
Corey walked back to where Kathryn stood waiting for her. “Well . . . ?” asked Kathryn. “The way your face turned red when you answered that call, I’m thinking it wasn’t a business call.”
“It was just a friend who’s going to be in town next week and wants to go to dinner.” Corey hoped her voice sounded light enough to disguise the panic she was still feeling.
“A girlfriend?”
“No, a guy friend.”
“Mmm,” said Kathryn. “Does he know about your pregnancy?”
“My sister told him.”
“Well, let’s get you a dress that will make him forget about it.”
“Kathryn, it’s not that kind of a dinner,” Corey argued.
“Honey, you can tell yourself that if you want to, but I saw your face.” Kathryn waved the tree man over to where she was standing. “We’ll take this one,” she said to the man with an imperious wave. “We’ve just had a bit of an emergency. Can we speed this up?” And then back to Corey. “When is he coming?”
“Thursday.”
“We’ve got a lot to do in a short period of time. Come on, come on, we’ve wasted half the day already.”
As they were driving home, Corey contemplated what Tripp’s appearance might mean to her. She’d given no thought to any sort of Tripp complications.
When they reached her condo, Kathryn didn’t get out. “The tree will be delivered before five o’clock. You make sure they put it in the space across from the foyer. I’ll go shopping for decorations and be over tomorrow to decorate.”
“Don’t you think you’re going a bit overboard?” Corey asked as she got out of the car.
Kathryn didn’t reply, but just shook her head no as she drove off.
Kathryn arrived full of excitement early on Sunday afternoon with a car full of shopping bags containing all sorts of Christmas decorations for the house and the tree. Corey was afraid to find out how much all that stuff was going to cost her, since none of the bags had been from Walmart.