by J A Stone
Corey nodded her head. She’d made this trip more than a couple of times. “Thanks, I know the way,” she said as she headed toward the double doors that would take her to emergency.
Dr. Aziz was not at all what Corey expected. Ironically, when the emergency-room nurse took Corey to where Nancy was, Corey thought the dark-headed young woman with the shockingly red streaks in her hair and the row of earrings must be an orderly of some sort. When she turned around and introduced herself as the doctor, Corey was momentarily stunned.
“Are you her relative?” Dr. Aziz asked, pointing to Nancy, who lay on a bed attached to myriad machines. One of the machines was making a whooshing sound that Corey found oddly calming.
“I’m her daughter-in-law. I got here as quickly as I could. How is she?”
“Not good,” Dr. Aziz said bluntly. “She’s having trouble breathing, and the scans show that she’s suffered a significant brain hemorrhage. Unfortunately, I suspect that she had the stroke several hours before she was found.”
“Will she recover?”
Dr. Aziz looked at her for a moment or two. “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Unless we see vast improvements in the next twenty-four hours, her odds are pretty grim.”
Corey felt as though she’d been punched in the stomach. “What can I do?”
“Stay with her; talk to her. Hopefully, you’ll get some sort of reaction that will show us that she’s cognizant about what’s going on around her. We’re going to have to move her out of emergency and up to a room in intensive care.” She sighed deeply. “Do you know if she has a medical directive or a living will?”
“No, I don’t. Her son, I mean, my husband,” Corey stuttered, “died fairly recently. I never talked about this kind of stuff with her.”
A fleeting look of compassion crossed Dr. Aziz’s face. “Well, maybe tomorrow you might try calling someone who handles her affairs and see what you can find out.”
“It’s that serious?” Corey asked, sounding remarkably calm in spite of her racing heart.
“I’m afraid so.” Dr. Aziz turned to look at one of the machines that was suddenly—and apparently unexpectedly—beeping. She pushed a button and the noise stopped. “I’m going to go, but I’ll be back in a moment to oversee her transfer.”
“I need to make a quick phone call,” Corey said, following Dr. Aziz into the fluorescent-lit hallway. As Dr. Aziz went behind the nurse’s station, Corey dialed Tripp’s cell-phone number.
He answered on the first ring. “Everything okay?”
“It’s pretty serious. I probably need to stay the night here. Can you stay with Stella? Millie will be there in the morning, and sometimes Stella doesn’t even wake up before Millie gets there.”
“Sure, Corey. Don’t worry. I’ll call you if I have any questions.”
“I really appreciate this.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Corey. She’s my daughter. I wish I could spend every night with her. Good night.”
Later, after Nancy was transferred out of emergency, Corey sat beside her on the hard leather chair, listening to the whoosh, whoosh of the machines, and the periodic ping of the elevator doors opening and closing in the hall. Corey talked to Nancy, as the doctor had suggested. She told her about all the latest things Stella had been doing, and Corey peered at her carefully to see if there was any reaction. Finally, after a couple of hours with no sign of a response, Corey put her head down on the bed beside Nancy’s arm and cried. She cried for Nancy, for Luke, for her parents, but mostly she cried for herself because she felt so overwhelmingly alone.
Dr. Aziz unexpectedly walked in, took one look at Corey sobbing on the edge of Nancy’s bed, came over, and put her hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sure she had a full life and wouldn’t want to linger in this kind of state.”
“I . . . know . . . that,” Corey sniffled. “I think I’m crying more for myself than for her.”
“It may sound like a bunch of crap, but it’s true—getting all of that emotion out of you can really make you feel better. Sometimes there’s nothing like a good cry.”
Corey smiled at her weakly, thinking how bizarre it was being comforted by someone who looked more like a punk rocker than a physician. Then, suddenly it hit her that tomorrow was also a workday. Her mind started sorting through all the things she needed to do. She needed to call Larry and let him know about her situation. She had one appointment that couldn’t be postponed and would have to be shifted to another associate. Everything else could be postponed for a day or so. She felt guilty thinking about such mundane things when Nancy lay before her in such a critical state, possibly even dying.
“Well, this is it for me tonight,” Dr. Aziz said. “Tomorrow, Mrs. Bennett’s physician, Dr. Randall, will take over. If I don’t see you again, I wish you well.”
“Thanks. I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
“You’re welcome.” And with a slight wave, she was out the door.
Corey napped for a few minutes at a time, off and on for the remainder of the night. When Dr. Randall came in around seven the next morning, she was just about to go out into the hall and call Tripp. Corey had met Dr. Randall only once before when she’d taken Nancy to a doctor’s appointment. Unlike Dr. Aziz, Dr. Randall was the stereotypical doctor who would have been right at home on any weeknight television show involving doctors. He wore a crisp white coat, introduced himself in a brusque manner, and immediately went to work, checking the hospital’s charts and Nancy’s pulse and other vital signs. When he turned to her, he didn’t beat around the bush. “The results of her EEG aren’t promising. They don’t show any sign of brain activity. At her age, and with her already deteriorating health, I don’t see the possibility of a good outcome here.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that she is unlikely to recover from this vegetative state. I think you and her other family should start talking about what Nancy would want.”
“She doesn’t have any other family, and I’m just her daughter-in-law. I don’t feel qualified to make these types of decisions for her.”
Dr. Randall looked somewhat sympathetically at Corey for the first time since he’d entered the room. “Well, you don’t have to make any decisions today. How about I send someone in from counseling to talk to you?”
Corey nodded yes. A counselor might be a good thing. She’d never felt so alone in her life. At least when decisions had to be made for Luke, she’d had Nancy to help her.
“I’ve got to finish my rounds now. I’ll have the nurses contact me immediately if there is any change.”
Corey nodded her head again, and the doctor was gone. She looked down one more time at the immobile body in the bed, which already seemed less and less like Nancy. She went out to the hall to make some calls. She called Millie first. She didn’t want her to be surprised when she arrived to find Tripp there, but Millie must have already left, because no one answered her phone. Next, she called Tripp, and he provided her with a factual exchange of information in answer to her questions.
No, Millie wasn’t there. Yes, Stella had slept through the night. No, Stella wasn’t up yet. Yes, he would be careful not to scare Millie when she arrived. Finally, he was able to get a question in of his own. “Do you want me to stay another night? I’m not expected back in Dothan until tomorrow.”
Corey thought hard about her alternatives. Millie might be able to get someone to stay with her daughter so that she could stay with Stella overnight. But that was a long shot. Kathryn, who had yet to call her back, might be able to stay. Having another night to sort through the situation would be a good thing. “That would help me a lot,” Corey finally said at last.
“Okay, then once Millie gets here, I’ll go check out of my motel and bring my stuff here. Can I come to the hospital and bring you some lunch?”
Corey felt her eyes tearing up. “Sure, that would be great. I’m at Northside Hospital, room 317.”
A
fter gaining some composure, she dialed Larry’s cell phone. When he answered, she could tell he was driving from the noise in the background. “Larry, my mother-in-law was admitted to Northside last night after suffering a stroke. She’s in the intensive care unit, and it’s not looking real good.”
“I’m so sorry,” Larry said apologetically.
“I need to be with her as much as possible today to take care of some things.”
“Of course,” Larry said. “Do what you have to do. And keep me posted if anything changes.”
She returned to the room, where Nancy remained exactly as she’d left her. Corey supposed she’d better go home and change and then go over to Peachtree Wilden to look for Nancy’s living will. If she was lucky, the facility would have a copy of the document on file there. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Corey said to Nancy before squeezing her hand. “I love you, Nancy.”
CHAPTER 27
What a strange feeling it was to walk into her home and see Tripp playing with Stella. The baby was still in her pajamas and was happily rolling a ball back and forth on the floor to Tripp. The two didn’t even notice she was standing there, so engrossed were they in their game. The picture of domestic tranquillity overwhelmed her.
Tripp finally looked up in surprise and saw her standing in the foyer. “So . . . do you think she has any ball-handling ability?” Corey asked. Stella also looked up then and delightedly ran to her mother.
“Did anything happen?” Tripp asked, concerned.
“No, no change. I just decided to come home and freshen up a bit.” Corey put Stella down, and the baby ran back to the ball. “I’ve got to drive out to Nancy’s retirement home and look for a copy of her living will.”
“Oh,” Tripp said, his forehead wrinkled with the seriousness of the situation. “Millie’s making Stella’s breakfast, and I was just about to leave to go check out of my motel. I could wait and ride with you, though.”
Corey felt touched by his consideration. “I don’t think so. I’d rather you bring me some lunch later. I know from experience that the food at Northside Hospital leaves a lot to be desired.”
“Where should I go to pick up food?”
“Millie can just fix me some leftovers from last night,” Corey said, rubbing her head. “Last night seems like a long, long time ago right now. I’m going to go shower and get changed.”
She headed for the bedroom. Once there, she called Erica and went through each appointment that was on her schedule for the day. She decided to have Erica call Peachtree Wilden to see if they had the living will on file while Corey took a quick shower.
Listening to her messages after the shower, Corey was relieved to hear that Peachtree Wilden did have the living will on file and would e-mail it to her if she’d call and provide her e-mail address. Now that she no longer had to make the long drive, she brushed her teeth, put on some basic black pants and a white blouse, and carefully applied her makeup. One could handle just about anything, she thought, in basic black pants and good makeup.
Suddenly she heard Stella crying outside her door. She opened it and realized that Tripp must have left, and her daughter now wanted her attention. “So, what am I now? Third best?” She picked Stella up and went to look for Millie, who was in the laundry room putting clothes in the washing machine.
“I’ve got to go now,” Corey said. “Tripp will be back later. He’s going to bring me some leftovers from last night, if you don’t mind packaging them up. Also, he’s going to stay here tonight with Stella, but he has to leave tomorrow. I don’t know how long I’ll need to stay at the hospital with Nancy. Do you think there’s any way you could stay overnight with Stella for a night or two? Or if it would be easier for you, you could bring Deborah here, and I’ll be glad to pay for a taxi to take Deborah to school and back.”
Millie didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “Let me think on that, Ms. Corey, and I’ll let you know. Deborah has a real hard time adjusting to changes.”
Corey ran her fingers distractedly through her hair. “Thanks, Millie. If I can get in touch with Kathryn, she might be able to help. And I’ll call my sister and see what her situation is like.” Then she gave Stella a kiss on the head and handed her off to Millie. “Bye, love. Be good for Millie.”
“She always is,” Millie said.
Parking at the hospital, Corey felt a sense of déjà vu. How many times while Luke was here had she parked in this very same parking deck and walked alone down this cold metal staircase in the early-morning hours? The only difference was that now, in addition to worrying about her loved one in the hospital, and her job, she also had Stella to worry about. She suddenly felt panicky. How am I going to handle everything that I have to handle? Corey concentrated on taking one step at a time and breathing deeply, so that gradually, by the time she reached Nancy’s hospital room, she felt back in control of her body. She opened the door cautiously. Nothing had changed except that the room was filled with light because someone had come in and opened the blinds. Nancy still lay exactly as Corey had left her, chest moving rhythmically up and down.
“Hello, dear,” Corey said in her most cheerful voice. Then she walked over and gave Nancy’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m back.”
When a nurse came in later, Corey told her she had a copy of Nancy’s living will and medical directive. The nurse wrote “DNR”—do not resuscitate—across the top of her chart and inserted the documents in Nancy’s records. With nothing else to do, Corey opened her laptop computer, plugged in her Internet card, and began to do a little work. Much later, the door opened quietly, and Tripp stood in the doorway holding a picnic basket.
“Come on in and meet Nancy,” Corey said. Tripp walked in and hesitantly approached the bed. “Nancy, this is Tripp. Tripp, this is Nancy.”
“Uh . . . hi, Nancy.” Tripp nodded uncomfortably in Nancy’s direction. He turned back to Corey. “Is there someplace you’d like to go and eat?”
“There’s a little family room right around the corner.”
Tripp opened the door, and Corey led him to the empty family room. She sat down at a little table and started unpacking the basket. “I hope you’re eating with me. There’s a lot of food here.”
“I am, and you are so right—Millie is a jewel.”
“I know. If only she were available to stay nights, she would be perfect.” Corey looked Tripp in the eyes. “Thanks for everything. I’m not sure what I would have done last night if you hadn’t been able to stay with Stella. I might have had to bring her to the hospital with me, and I’m not even sure they allow that.”
“How do you manage?”
Corey looked at him curiously while she opened containers of food and spread out the paper plates. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“I mean, you’ve got an awful lot of responsibility resting on your shoulders.”
“Having a routine helps a lot. It’s only when something like this comes out of the blue that it’s really difficult.” Corey began spooning pot roast and green beans onto their plates.
“What are you going to do when I leave tomorrow?” Tripp asked.
“I’ll figure it out.” Corey sounded much more confident than she felt. “If I can connect with my friend Kathryn, she might be able to help. Also, Millie may be able to stay with Stella. I’m not sure.”
“Have you called Diane?”
“No, I haven’t. I’ll call her when I have a better idea of what’s going on. Knowing Diane, she’ll want to drop everything and come up here, and I’m really trying to stop taking advantage of her so much.”
Tripp picked up a fork and played with it for a moment. “I’m not sure Diane would see it as being taken advantage of.”
“I know. That’s why it’s so hard not to take advantage of her.”
Tripp looked down at the paper plate full of food Corey had placed in front of him. “Listen, speaking of taking advantage of someone . . . uh, and last night. I want to apologize for my behavior. I shouldn’t have kis
sed you. And I certainly shouldn’t have said some of the things I said to you. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. First and foremost, like you said last night, I’ve got to figure out my relationship with Lucy. I hope you don’t think too badly of me.”
“I don’t think badly of you. I know the situation you and I are in is confusing. I can even understand the emotions that you’re feeling because I’m feeling a lot of the same stuff too. I mean, every time I look at you and Stella together, my heart does strange things. But right now, I think we just need to focus on Stella. I know you love Stella. I can see it in your eyes when you look at her, and hear it in your voice when you talk to her. I just don’t want you to confuse what you feel for Stella with how you feel about me. And I don’t want what I feel for you to be confused with wanting a dad for Stella. I think you’re right. You need to go home to Lucy and figure out that relationship first. Let’s just agree to be honest with each other, okay?”
“Deal. Let’s eat up,” Tripp said. “I’ve got to get back to Millie so she can show me what to do with Stella tonight. I’ve never given a toddler a bath or fed her dinner before.”
“You’ll be fine. If fifteen-year-old babysitters can do it, you can too. At least that’s what I told myself a lot of the time right after Stella was born.”
Tripp smiled at her gratefully, and they finished their lunch in silence. After Tripp left, Corey spent the rest of the afternoon sitting with Nancy, talking to her when she could think of something to say, trying to work, and thinking about Tripp taking care of Stella. She wasn’t worried that Tripp couldn’t do it. She just wished she had a hidden camera so that she could actually see him trying to figure things out. In spite of her situation, she smiled just thinking about it.
Late that afternoon, Dr. Randall returned. A quick hello and he was about business as usual. When he finished his evaluation, he turned to Corey. “As you can probably tell, there’s been no change in her.”