Playing With Fate

by Ava Thorpe

  “I know, I know, but my dad would kill me. And anyway, it’s just for one semester, right?” Luke said.

  Not if you go to law school, Carter wanted to say, but that wouldn’t have been helpful. “That’s true. You’ve got this.”

  “All right, boys, we’ll be at the training facility in three,” Coach Lacasse announced.

  Jared nudged Carter, and he nodded his thanks. To Luke, he said, “I’ve gotta go, we’re almost at the practice rink. I’ll talk to you tonight after the game? If you’re awake, I mean.”

  “I probably will be. It’ll be a good break from studying. Good luck with the game tonight, babe,” Luke murmured.

  “Thanks, I’ll see you tonight,” Carter said. He ended the call, feeling much better than he’d been feeling since the road trip started.

  “Everything okay at home?” Jared asked as he packed his iPad away.

  “Yeah, everything’s perfect.” Carter elbowed him lightly. “Still tanking at Dots?”

  Jared glared at him, mussing up Carter’s hair. “Fuck you, I’m great at Dots.”

  They piled out of the bus, into the practice rink. Carter had never played at this one before, and he was shocked to see a huge number of fans already waiting for them at the rink.

  He whistled. “That’s a lot of people,” he said to no one in particular.

  Remi threw an arm around his shoulders. “That’s the Ash effect, it happens everywhere, especially out west where they don’t see him often.”

  That made sense. Abstractly, he knew just how popular Ash was. Hell, he remembered looking up to Ash when he was in Junior. It was always so weird seeing the effect of it in person, though, because Ash was so unassuming.

  Practice didn’t last very long. They went over their special teams setup, and Carter got a workout on the penalty kill. He was pleased Coach Lacasse had been putting him on the penalty kill more often. He thrived on being given responsibility, and the penalty kill was a big one, especially when that was the time the Admirals would be at a disadvantage.

  Winnipeg had a young, fast team, and they needed to make sure they were in top form. The Admirals had been winning their last few games, and they had a good momentum going. The team didn’t want to ruin their streak.

  Unfortunately for Carter and the team, the universe had other plans for them that night.

  The game against Winnipeg was bloody. Winnipeg wasn’t known for being gritty and rough, but they were relentless. The Admirals were having a tough time catching up.

  They were losing. Badly.

  But it got worse.

  On top of getting buried in the scoreboards, Jared got hurt. One of the forwards from Winnipeg got in a good, heavy run at him, and Jared had a hard time getting up after.

  His cry of pain reverberated in Carter’s head. It was loud, intense, and immediately Carter knew they were in trouble.

  Then, Jared was deadly quiet after. It was unnatural and so completely unlike Jared. It only worried Carter even more. Jared’s face was stuck in a painful grimace, and he wasn’t able to walk without support.

  Carter helped Jared up, letting him lean most of his weight on Carter, as they hobbled towards the bench. Immediately, the trainers swarmed around them when they got to the bench entrance, taking Jared from Carter.

  This game just went from bad to worse to catastrophic.

  There was no way Jared was going back on the ice, not with an injury that looked like that.

  Carter finished the game with Jared in his mind. He hoped the injury looked worse than it actually was, but after the game, Jared was nowhere to be found.

  “They took Jared to the ER,” Coach Lacasse said. “He’s stable. We’ll know more tomorrow. He won’t be joining us on the way to Calgary, not yet, anyway.” Her mouth was in a tight line.

  Fuck. So it was serious, then.

  “We’ll talk about this game tomorrow. There’s a lot to be done, boys, a lot to be done. Get some sleep.” The coach dismissed them without another word.

  It was an awful loss, 4-1, with the only goal coming from Ash.

  On the bus ride to the hotel, Carter sent Jared a text. How are you, buddy? Anything I can do for you?

  He felt awful. Jared had been playing well, better than Carter had been, in any case. He didn’t deserve this.

  When Carter got to his hotel room, he stripped off his suit, hopping into bed morosely. Typically, rookies like him were supposed to have road roommates, but luckily for him, the Admirals management had decided to give everyone their own hotel room for this road trip.

  He just wanted to see Luke’s face. He needed Luke to brighten up his night. He clicked on his Facetime app and waited for Luke to pick up.

  “Hey, you okay?” Luke said worriedly, coming into view. He must have watched the game.

  Carter nodded stiffly. “Yeah, I’m fine. My defense partner, though, not so much. He’s at the hospital right now.”

  “I’m sorry, babe,” Luke said consolingly. “I’m sorry the game didn’t go your way either, but the next one will be better. I hope Jared recovers quickly.”

  Wrapping the blankets around himself, Carter moved so that he was laying on his side. “I hope so, too. It looked bad, though—I was right there when it happened. I should have done something, you know? I should have seen that hit coming, but I was too focused on the puck.”

  Luke made a noise of protest. “Don’t blame yourself, okay? It was an accident. There was no way you could have predicted Jared would get hurt.”

  Rationally, Carter knew that. It didn’t help make him feel better, though. Jared was his partner, his responsibility—he should have protected him. He should have done something.

  “Baby, look at me,” Luke said, his voice firm. Carter had no choice but to obey him. “That’s better. Listen to me. It’s not your fault. There was nothing you could have done that would have changed the outcome of what happened, okay? Jared doesn’t blame you, either. I’m sure of that.”

  Carter allowed Luke’s words to wash over him. He wanted to believe Luke. He sighed, changing the topic. “How’s studying? Is it getting any better?”

  “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” Luke said, frowning. “It’s okay. Just tedious, you know? But it has to be done, so I don’t have a choice. Puck’s good company, though.”

  Burrowing himself further into the pillows, Carter said, “That’s good. I’m glad he’s keeping you company. You look so stressed.”

  Luke started moving, walking towards the bedroom. He lay on the bed, and Carter felt…homesick. There was no other word for it. Luke looked so comfortable in his bed. Carter wanted nothing more than to be there with him.

  “I am, a little bit,” Luke admitted quietly. “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been sleeping in your bed instead of the guest room.” He was blushing, like he was embarrassed by the admission.

  “No, I’m glad you’re there. I just wish I was there with you,” Carter murmured honestly. The ache in his chest got sharper as Luke sank into the pillows, huddling under the warmth of the duvet.

  Luke was quiet for a moment. He was biting his lip, like he was nervous. “I…I miss you. Is that weird? I know it’s only been a couple of days, but I do,” he said quickly, looking anywhere but at Carter. “Two weeks just feels like a really long time.”

  Feeling relieved at Luke’s admission, Carter smiled. “It’s not weird at all. I feel the same. I’ve been thinking about you all day, and after the game, all I wanted was to see your face. You just make everything better.”

  Carter almost regretted saying the last bit. It felt almost too honest, but he also felt lighter once the words were out.

  “I wish you were here,” Luke said quietly. “I really want to kiss you.”

  “Soon. Two weeks will go by and before you know it, I’ll be home. You can have all the kisses you want.” Carter blew him a kiss, and Luke playfully caught it. It was silly, but Carter loved it anyway.

  They talked for a while, until Luk
e started yawning sleepily, his eyes starting to close.

  “Go to sleep, Luke,” Carter said. He didn’t want to let Luke go, not even close, but they both needed the rest.

  “Hurry up and play your games, so you can come home soon,” Luke said, a small pout gracing his face.

  “I will. Good night, baby.” He ended the call, placing his phone on the night table beside him.

  It wasn’t the same as being with Luke in person, but the phone call made Carter feel a little better. The part of him that missed Luke like a limb felt less suffocating, less like he was drowning.

  He needed to figure out his feelings for Luke, needed to figure out just what the hell it was he was doing, because what they had—it was different. They hadn’t talked about their relationship yet, but it didn’t feel casual, not to Carter, and he wasn’t sure how to handle that. What was he going to tell his teammates? His parents?

  It was a lot.

  For now, though, he was going to sleep.

  He closed his eyes, thoughts of Luke filling his mind, and slept soundly for the first time since he left Ottawa.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Carter

  By the time Carter landed in Ottawa, he was bone tired. He’d lost count of the number of games they played. Thankfully, the road trip was mostly successful. They had a handful of wins, and after their terrible showing in Winnipeg, the team rallied together. They played better, faster, like a well-oiled machine.

  Jared was still out.

  Lower body injury was the official statement. Out for four months, maybe six, with a torn meniscus which meant he was going to be missing the rest of the season.

  Jared flew straight to Ottawa after getting checked out at the hospital in Winnipeg, and a bunch of the guys were itching to see him. They were going to his condo tomorrow, after everyone got some rest. Carter couldn’t wait.

  He still felt guilty sometimes, but Jared himself had told him he was being an idiot.

  “You’re not magic,” Jared had told him. “There was nothing you could’ve done.”

  It was hard not to feel guilt, though, when Carter’s game was plummeting. The team might have rallied together and won games, but Carter hadn’t scored in any of them. Didn’t even tally any assist points.

  He contributed nothing.

  Carter felt like a waste of roster space, and while he didn’t wish Jared’s injury on himself, he felt guilty for being healthy and well. There was no reason for him to be not producing, and yet here he was, pointless for the last month.

  Jared had been on a roll before his injury, tallying point after point, unlike Carter. With him gone, Carter was going to have to really step up his game. If Carter didn’t start producing, he was going to be a serious detriment to his team.

  Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door to his condo. He was home now. Hopefully he’d be able to focus less on work. Aromatic scents assaulted his senses as soon as he walked in. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what they were, but whatever they were, they smelled delicious.

  “Luke?” he called out, dropping his bag in the hallway. He’d go back to organize his gear later. Right now, he wanted to see Luke.

  “In the kitchen,” Luke called back.

  He patted Puck on the way to the kitchen. He was going to make it up to his dog eventually. First, Luke.

  Luke was dressed in one of his old junior hockey sweaters. They were old, from when Carter still hadn’t quite filled out, but they were still big on Luke.

  He looked amazing anyway. He always did in Carter’s clothes. Hugging him from behind, Carter circled his arms around Luke. God, Carter missed him.

  “You’re home,” Luke said happily. He turned around, wrapping his arms around Carter. He kissed Carter, lightly at first, before both of them gave into the kiss deeply.

  Carter lifted Luke up, carrying him to the breakfast bar, using it for leverage. He kissed Luke like he needed air, like he’d been wanting to do for the last two weeks.

  “I fucking missed you so much,” he said hoarsely in between kisses.

  Luke moaned into his mouth, almost shaking against him. “I missed you too,” he said. He pulled away from the kiss slightly, bringing their foreheads together. “You’re not allowed to be gone that long again.”

  Chuckling, Carter kissed his nose. “I’ll try not to. I think we’re home for a while, at least.” He tugged at Luke’s sweater. “I like this on you.”

  Luke’s cheeks colored. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to steal it. I just saw it on top of your dresser and…”

  “No, no, it’s fine—that’s the pile of clothes I was actually thinking of getting rid of. They don’t fit me anymore, but on you…it’s perfect,” Carter murmured against his skin. He placed his hands under the sweater, feeling Luke’s abs under his palms. “Better if you weren’t wearing anything, though.”

  Pinching him cheekily, Luke pulled him closer. “Later,” he promised, looking at him intensely. “I have two weeks worth of sexual frustration, and it’s all your fault.”

  “Oh? Why are we waiting for later? I can help you out with that tension now,” Carter said lasciviously.

  “I’m cooking you a nice meal, we don’t want to let that go to waste, do we?” Luke massaged Carter’s shoulders, and Carter leaned into his touch.

  “We don’t?” Carter moaned, when Luke hit a particularly sore spot.

  “We definitely don’t. I’m making you curry, you’ll love it,” Luke said. “You’re all tense here, babe, what’s wrong?”

  Carter couldn’t say he’d ever had curry, but he was excited. He’d tasted Luke’s cooking before, and he was excellent at it. He made a mean beef stew—Carter was sure his curry would be just as good.

  “Just the usual stress from work. Plus, my body got pretty beat up. The trainers worked out most of the knots in my legs, but the rest of my body still feels like I got run over by a truck.” Carter rolled his shoulders, moving his neck back and forth.

  Luke kissed him gently. “Poor baby. After dinner, I’ll give you a massage.”

  “You don’t have to,” Carter said. “Besides, you’re already making me dinner. I should be the one giving you a massage.”

  Hopping off the breakfast bar, Luke stirred the pot with curry in it. “All I’ve done today is law school applications. Oh no, so strenuous,” he said sarcastically, grinning.

  Carter watched Luke do his thing in the kitchen. It was calming, in a way, and Carter found himself mesmerized. “Law school applications? Was that the last of the bunch?”

  “Yeah, thank god. I just sent the last of the supplementary essays I needed.”

  Carter frowned. He hated the way Luke looked so sad every time he talked about law school applications. He got it—not everyone was as lucky as he was. He got to do what he loved most. Carter wanted the same for Luke. “How are you feeling about it?”

  Luke shrugged. “It is what it is, you know? Hopefully I’ll get into Dalhousie. Or the one in Ottawa. I’d prefer to stay in the city, but we’ll see. My dad is pretty excited at the idea of me following my family’s ‘legacy’ at Dalhousie.”

  “Dalhousie, as in Halifax Dalhousie?” Carter’s stomach sank. Right. He didn’t think about that. It was entirely possible that Luke would have to move away, depending on where he got in. It didn’t sit with Carter well at all. “It would be nice if you stayed in Ottawa, though. Who would walk Puck if you left?” he said, trying to keep his voice light, but he couldn’t do it. “I…I would miss you if you left.”

  “It would suck if I had to leave you,” Luke said. He blushed, rambling. “I mean, everyone. It would suck if I had to leave everyone, you know? I’ve built up some roots here.”

  Carter wanted to wrap Luke in his arms. God, he wasn’t sure how he would deal if Luke got accepted to a law school in a different city. “Is there an alternative to law school?” he asked softly.

  Luke froze. “Alternative? I wish.” Luke snorted, like the idea of doing something other than law school wa
s an impossibility.

  “You wish? Why? What would you rather do?”

  Luke opened his cupboard doors and grabbed one of the bottles there. “It doesn’t really matter what I want to do. I have to go to law school, and that’s really the end of it,” Luke said resolutely. He raised an eyebrow at Carter. “You have a surprisingly well-stocked spice cabinet for someone who doesn’t cook.”

  “I cook,” Carter said weakly. He knew Luke wasn’t going to say anything more, and Carter didn’t want to push him. Not yet, anyway, not tonight, not when it so obviously made Luke feel terrible.

  Luke patted his face gently. “You cook chicken breast with no salt or pepper, babe, that doesn’t count.”

  “Okay, so I don’t use any fancy seasoning, but it still counts.”

  “I’m pretty sure salt doesn’t count as a fancy seasoning, darling,” Luke said, laughing.

  Carter loved seeing Luke laugh, even if it was at his own expense. “So pretentious. You’re lucky you’re cute,” he teased. “And it all came with the place, to be honest. I wouldn’t have even thought about getting spices.”

  “Your realtor is amazing,” Luke said. “This should be done in a bit. Want to change into something more comfortable?”

  “Yeah, I think I’ll do that. I might grab a shower, too. Plane air is no joke.” Carter gave him one last kiss before heading to his bedroom.

  He carefully stripped off his suit, hanging it up, before heading to the bathroom. He didn’t take a long shower. Mainly, he just wanted to get the grime and stale air from the plane still sticking to his skin away.

  Once he was finished, he changed into his comfy black team sweatpants, and a nice, but still casual blue sweater. By the time he walked back to the kitchen, Luke had set the breakfast bar up neatly, with candles lit up in between the place settings.

  Carter didn’t even know he owned candles.

  With the lights dimly lit, the whole thing felt intimate, cozy in a way that made Carter’s heart flutter.