by Ava Thorpe
“Sit down,” Luke said, motioning to the breakfast bar. “I’ll have everything done in a second, I’m just feeding Puck.”
“Oh, you don’t have to, I could have done that.” Carter felt bad that Luke was doing all of the work. He was hopeless in the kitchen, but he could feed Puck, that much he knew how to do.
Luke waved him off. “I’m already here, don’t worry about it.” When he finished portioning Puck’s kibble, he brought two plates of food to the bar. “It’s not spicy, I promise. I wasn’t sure how much heat you can handle, so I tamed it way down.”
That was good, because while Carter was willing to try just about anything at least once, he wasn’t very good with spicy.
“It smells amazing,” Carter said, his stomach rumbling. “Thank you for making dinner.”
Beaming at him, Luke poured them each a glass of wine. “You let me stay here for two weeks, it’s the least I can do.”
“I like that you were here, though,” Carter admitted. “I mean, it’s always better when you and I are both here, but I’m glad you stayed.”
“Free Puck babysitting, huh?” Luke joked.
Carter smiled at him, shaking his head. “Nah, though I’m sure Puck loved having you here. Sometimes I think he likes you better than me,” he said. “Mainly, I just like having you here. Is that weird?”
Luke bit his lower lip. “No, not at all weird. I like being here.” He looked away, training his eyes on his food.
The two of them ate in comfortable silence, their hands sometimes touching, a frisson of electricity running between them. The food was sublime. Carter had never tasted anything with this much flavor before, and he was hooked. It sure beat his usual chicken and pasta. Even the prepackaged frozen meals he got from a local chef didn’t seem quite as tasty after having Luke’s curry.
“Maybe I should learn how to cook,” he said when they finished eating. He took a sip of his wine. “That was amazing.”
Luke glowed from the praise. “Yeah? I can teach you, if you want. It’s not that bad, and you have most of the things you need in your kitchen already.”
Puck interrupted their conversation, nuzzling his head on Luke’s leg. He made a whining sound that made Luke giggle.
“Should we take him out for a quick walk?”
Carter was half tempted to make Puck wait. It’d been a while since he saw his…his Luke. Puck could wait an hour or two, but he never was able to resist Puck’s dumb face.
“Fine, I guess we can walk him. Then he’s getting banished to the living room while we lock ourselves in the bedroom,” Carter said with finality.
“I don’t get a say in this, huh,” Luke said, grinning.
Carter kissed him soundly. “Nope, not at all,” he said, smiling back.
He’d missed this. Luke, Puck—he missed being home with the two of them.
Luke stopped him just as he was opening the door. He kissed Carter’s cheek lightly. “I’m glad you’re home, babe.”
Carter placed a hand on Luke’s hip and squeezed. There were so many things he wanted to say, but none of the words came out. He swallowed thickly. “I’m glad to be home, too.”
Chapter Eighteen
Luke
Luke finished his last midterm with a flourish. He was confident he did well—even with his political science class. Studying at Carter’s had been a godsend. He was able to really focus on reviewing for his exams, without the added distraction of his roommates.
He unlocked the door to Carter’s condo, letting himself in, after his last exam. He wasn’t scheduled to walk Puck, but Carter had asked him to come hang out, anyway.
Luke wasn’t about to turn that down.
He felt free, relief flowing through him, and he wanted to share his excitement with Carter.
“How’d it go?” Carter yelled as he walked through the door. Carter had the day off, and Luke couldn’t wait to spend it all together.
He made his way to the couch, tackling Carter. “Amazing,” Luke preened, “as expected, because I’m a genius.”
Carter tickled his sides. “Genius, huh? You sure about that?” he said, deadpan.
“Of course. You’re with a bonafide genius here,” Luke said, squirming on Carter as he continued to tickle him. “Stoppp, noooo. Too much.”
Carter was merciless, though, and Luke was unable to fight him. Luke was laughing in fits as he continued to wiggle against Carter.
“No, I can’t, stop,” Luke said, giggling, panting as Carter continued his assault.
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop for the genius,” Carter said, winking. Luke was sitting on top of him, straddling Carter’s thighs. “Hmm, I like you like this.”
Luke rolled his eyes fondly. “I know, I can tell,” he said, pointing to Carter’s hardness.
Carter looked at him sheepishly. “Can you blame me? I have a sexy, smart genius on my lap.”
“You’re never going to let me live that down, aren’t you?” Luke said, amused.
“No, probably not,” Carter said. They stayed like that for a while, kissing each other softly, gently, like they had all the time in the world.
Luke loved quiet moments like these. For a small, brief moment, he could pretend that Carter was his, that Carter had no one else in his mind but Luke. Running his fingers through Carter’s hair, Luke deepened their kiss, his heart beating faster. He could smell the scent of Carter’s cologne—earthy, a little bit spicy. He couldn’t get enough.
They broke apart when Puck barked, nuzzling his head between them, insistent.
“Your dog is a menace,” Luke said without heat, patting Puck’s head. Puck had the worst timing. It was like he had a beacon that rang whenever Carter and Luke were about to get hot and heavy.
Carter frowned at Puck. “You’ve just been fed, buddy, and I walked you an hour ago. Chill,” he admonished.
“It’s probably for the best, anyway. I’m kind of hungry,” Luke said, reddening, his stomach audibly growling. “I really only came to mooch food off your fridge.” He sat up, trying to untangle himself away from Carter, only to be reeled back in again.
“Just a second more,” Carter said, bringing out his puppy dog eyes. His doe-like brown eyes were no match for Luke.
They kissed some more, getting lost in each other’s embrace. The kiss was intense, but in a quiet, desperate kind of way, like Carter couldn’t bear to let Luke go. Luke felt overwhelmed, like he was drowning in Carter, but he didn’t want to swim away. He wanted more.
He always wanted more of Carter.
That was the problem, wasn’t it?
There were times when Luke thought he should pull back a little and put some distance between Carter and him. He needed perspective, and he couldn’t get perspective when Carter was around him. It was like he forgot everything else when Carter was near.
Like the fact that Carter had never been with a man before Luke.
Or the fact that to Carter, this was all just for fun.
Luke closed his eyes, trying to bury the thoughts surfacing in his head. This was not the time to be thinking of these things. Not when Carter was right here, solid and real.
“You okay?” Carter asked against Luke’s cheek. He rubbed his thumb over Luke’s lips gently. “You froze there for a second.”
Feigning a smile, Luke wrapped his arms around Carter. “Yeah, just got distracted for a second, sorry.” The concern in Carter’s eyes made him feel warm.
“I guess I should go feed you, if you’re getting distracted in the middle of making out,” Carter said, grinning, unaffected. “I only have chicken and pasta, though.”
Luke sighed dramatically. “I guess that’ll do.” He wasn’t really hungry anymore, the negative thoughts in his head making him feel queasy. He couldn’t say that to Carter, though, so he followed him to the kitchen instead.
Sitting down on the bar stool, Luke watched as Carter heated up a plate for each of them. He loved this—loved the way Carter took care of him. The whole scene felt so
domestic, and it only made the thoughts in Luke’s head turn worse.
Because this? This wasn’t real.
This was temporary, and it hurt him, knowing that any day now, Carter could wake up and realize that his experimentation with Luke was over.
“You really hate the idea of chicken and pasta, huh?” Carter teased, poking Luke’s nose affectionately.
Turning his attention back to Carter, Luke stuck out his tongue playfully. “Hockey players. You guys need to improve your diet.”
“I’m a growing boy, I need to carb load,” Carter said jokingly. Then more seriously, he continued, “Actually, I probably need to start eating more cleanly. I just haven’t had time to talk to the guy who makes meals for me.”
“Eat more cleanly?” Luke said. “But food is tasty.”
Carter laughed. “Well, yes. Food is amazing, and I don’t plan on eating less of it. I just need to up my protein intake. I don’t know, I need to change something, probably.” His facial expression was light, but Luke could see the stiffness in Carter’s shoulders, like he was holding something back.
“Why’s that?” Luke asked curiously.
Shrugging, Carter placed the two plates on the breakfast bar. “I feel slow. Sluggish on the ice, and I can’t have that, you know? My whole game feels off, and I feel like I have to make changes, otherwise, I’m going to be left in the dust.” He said it all quickly, like he’d been holding it back for a while. He walked around the bar, taking a seat beside Luke.
Luke should have realized it sooner. He’d been too busy with exams to see, but it was clear that Carter was upset about work, despite his easygoing appearance. “You’re amazing on the ice,” Luke said, trying to reassure Carter. “Every time I see you play, I’m left in awe, because of how fucking powerful you look.”
He knew it probably didn’t mean much—after all, he didn’t know a lot about hockey, but he wanted to comfort Carter the way Carter had been comforting him throughout his law school applications and exams. To Luke’s admittedly untrained eye, Carter shined on the ice. He was thorough, methodical, and all around really fucking impressive.
Carter cocked a smile. “Thanks, babe,” he said. “I think you’re a little biased, though. I appreciate it, but unfortunately, the scoreboard doesn’t lie.”
Luke silently urged him to continue. He wasn’t sure what Carter meant. Luke had been following a couple of blogs about the Admirals, and the two or three articles he’d read about Carter were all mostly positive. They talked about his work ethic and how Carter never gave up. He couldn’t have agreed more with them.
“I haven’t scored or tallied a point in almost two months,” Carter said dejectedly. “I’ve been working hard—I know the coaches can see that, but working hard doesn’t matter if I can’t convert it to points. That’s the important thing.”
Running his hand over Carter’s back, he stroked him comfortingly. “It doesn’t mean that you won’t ever score or get an assist, though. You’re amazing, Carter. The points may not be here now, but they’ll come.” Luke wasn’t a hockey expert, but he was becoming a Carter expert. He saw just how hard Carter worked. There was no way Carter wasn’t going to be rewarded eventually.
“It’s going to have to come soon. The trade deadline is coming up,” Carter said morosely.
Luke’s food lost all taste. Trade deadline? “Trade? Do you think you’ll get traded?” Luke tried to keep his voice even.
“Maybe. I don’t know,” Carter said. He paused for a moment, like he was thinking about it. “Probably not. I’m pretty cheap against the salary cap, so it’s easier to keep my contract than trade it.”
Luke let go of a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “That’s good, right?”
Carter shrugged, finishing his plate. “Sort of. They may not trade me, but they can always send me down. My coach did say I was staying the rest of the season, but that was before my slump.”
“Send you down? Where? Outside of Ottawa?” Luke steeled himself. The possibility of Carter leaving, of Carter not being in the city anymore—it made him want to throw up.
“Albany. It’s where I’ve been playing the last couple of years. Before the Admirals, I mean.”
Luke mentally calculated the distance between Ottawa and Albany. He knew it was at least five, maybe six hours away, and he almost choked on his food.
Could Carter really be sent back to Albany?
His chest hurt. “They can’t send you down. You said it yourself, your coach said you were staying the rest of the season.” Luke couldn’t think. He knew hockey players had a volatile job. They were always on the road, their schedules were crazy—but he never thought about the possibility of Carter being sent away.
“I’m working on it,” Carter said, giving Luke a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
No longer interested in his food, Luke led Carter back to the couch. Unable to stop himself, he gave Carter a fierce hug, wrapping his arms around the man tightly. Carter hugged him back just as frantically, and they stayed like that, clinging to each other quietly, passionately.
It was like the air around them had changed.
I don’t want to let you go, Luke had wanted to say, but he was afraid it would be too much, that it would only push Carter away. “You can’t go,” he said, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could stop it.
Carter didn’t reply right away, and for a moment, Luke got worried he was too honest. “I don’t want you to go either,” Carter said finally.
Luke closed his eyes. Carter’s lips against his neck felt hot, searing. “I’m here,” he said, but he knew what Carter meant. Carter had hockey and the possibility of getting traded or sent down.
Luke had law school.
He could be shipped off to any part of the country. There wasn’t any guarantee that his university here in Ottawa would accept him. If he didn’t get an acceptance letter from them, Luke had no choice: he would have to leave.
The reality of it all felt like too much. Luke snaked his arm around Carter, pulling him close. He kissed him hungrily, needing to feel Carter around him, all over him.
This could all go away.
Luke felt like he just got drenched with a wave of cold water. God. He was falling in love with Carter.
Hell, he was already in love with Carter.
Suddenly, his stupid list didn’t mean anything anymore. The guy he’d been waiting for, the one he’d been venerating in his head. His ideal guy. None of that mattered anymore, not when his ideal guy couldn’t hold a candle to the one in front of him now.
He was wrecked. Completely, absolutely wrecked by Carter Welling.
“I need you,” he said when they pulled up for air. “Please.”
“I’m right here.” Carter flicked Luke’s lips with his tongue. “I’ve got you. What do you need?”
Luke swallowed. “Fuck me,” he said. “I need you to fuck me.” He needed to feel Carter—all of him, like a drug, an addiction. For now, nothing else mattered.
Carter lifted Luke up easily, carrying him to the bedroom without another word. Once they were on the bed, he kissed Luke softly, carefully laying Luke down on his back.
Their eyes met, and Luke couldn’t handle the intensity behind Carter’s gaze. He looked away, feeling vulnerable, like he was laid bare before Carter.
“Luke, look at me,” Carter murmured, insistent. “Look at me, baby. I’ve got you.”
Luke stared at Carter’s deep, brown eyes hesitantly.
“I’ve got you,” Carter said again, caressing his cheek.
So Luke let himself go. He was falling, and he could only hope that Carter was going to be there to catch him.
Chapter Nineteen
Carter
Carter took his time undressing Luke. Luke was so pliant under him, so responsive, and Carter tried to memorize the hitches in Luke’s breathing. He kissed a trail down Luke’s stomach, following the thin patch of hair down to the waistband of Luke’s jeans.
&
nbsp; “Please,” Luke whined, his hips arching off the bed.
“Shh, patience.” Carter held him down with one arm, the other deftly working on Luke’s zipper.
When Luke’s jeans were fully opened, Carter pulled them over Luke’s hips until they were at his feet. Luke kicked them off without hesitation. With Luke close to naked in front of him, Carter licked his lips, savoring the sight.
Luke looked perfect. He was perfect, and Carter wanted to do everything to him.
They’d never fucked before, sticking mostly to hand jobs and blow jobs. Carter hadn’t had a chance to go down on Luke yet, but in this moment, with Luke laid bare before him, he wanted it all. He wanted to taste Luke, to feel him on his tongue. He thought he’d be nervous—scared, even—but he didn’t feel any of that.
All he felt was desire.
Tentatively, Carter circled his mouth around the head of Luke’s cock. He licked at the slit experimentally, and was surprised to find he liked the taste of Luke. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he liked this—he liked having Luke under him, writhing from pleasure, knowing that it was all because of him.
“Fuck,” Luke cried out. “Please, I need more. Please.” His words were urgent, desperate, and Carter wanted to hear more of it.
Reassured by Luke’s response, he sucked harder, letting the weight of Luke’s cock rest on his tongue. He licked a strip over the underside of Luke’s cock, reveling at the way Luke clutched at the sheets under him.
Luke looked lost, his eyes closed tight, letting his body do most of the talking. “Please,” he stuttered, his jaw clenching, like he was trying to corral his words.
Carter couldn’t have that. He wanted to hear Luke. He wanted to see Luke lose control, to see him incoherent and moaning. “Please what?”
“More,” Luke croaked. “Suck me harder. Fuck me. Anything.”
Carter stroked the base of Luke’s cock, as he sucked on the crown harder. He couldn’t get Luke in his mouth as deep as he wanted, but he tried, guiding Luke’s cock down his throat, inch by inch. He pulled off, taking a deep breath, before doing it again, his mouth hollowing around Luke’s shaft.