He checked her pupils as he picked her up, walked to the couch with her then sat. She laid her head on his chest, and gazed up at him, her face full of an emotion he couldn’t identify. When he glanced up to look for Rodrigo, he wasn’t in the room.
“Are you okay, Mister Leduc?” she asked, her breath cooling the sheen of sweat on his chest.
He exhaled a long, shuddering breath. “You’re the one who just got branded.”
“I’m okay – just so sleepy. I don’t want to stop staring at you, so just know that if my eyelids close, I’m still staring at you through them, okay?”
He shifted her even closer, holding her to his bare chest and enjoying the contact. This was his woman. She was like an extension of him. With their skin bare, chest to chest, and Minnow looking up into his eyes, he felt strange. Calm. As if breathing air that had already been inside her undid the knots of tension that held him together. His eyes prickled like a sneeze was coming, and he frowned.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her words slightly slurred the way they got when she was in subspace sometimes, or coming down afterward. “Buyer’s remorse? Too late, sucker.”
He laughed, but the feeling didn’t pass. “No. Never that. If anything, you’re the one who’s going to regret this, not me.”
Rodrigo came back into the room, still shirtless, and now wearing a pair of track pants he kept in his room upstairs. Severin liked him like this – relaxed, his civilized veneer gone. He pulled his gaze away before Ro noticed his perusal.
“When I decided to start leaving clothes here a few years ago, it was so I’d have something to wear the day after drinking. The possibility of coming in my jeans had never occurred to me. This shit isn’t supposed to happen to grown men, Minnow.”
Minnow shifted on Severin’s lap but only to settle in closer. “I’d say sorry, but instead I’m just going to silently mock you.”
“I have to change too,” Severin admitted.
“Shh. You were supposed to let Rodrigo think you were able to hold out.”
Severin squeezed her. “You knew?”
“Mister Leduc, I’m lying in it.”
He probably should have been embarrassed, but he was too content to feel ashamed. Besides, it was all her fault. “We should have taped that scream. Sadists everywhere would pay to hear that.”
“We’d be rich men,” Rodrigo agreed.
“Like either of you need more money?”
Rodrigo moved around the room, cleaning things up, casting amused, affectionate looks at them that Severin was far too mellow to object to. It would be odd if Ro didn’t feel anything for her at all.
Too bad for him. He’d have to go looking for some second-best girl. This one was his. Forever.
Chapter Fifteen
“They’ll be fine.” Severin looked down at her and squeezed her hand, amusement glinting in his pale blue eyes.
The mellow lighting of the church lit his face the same way firelight did at home, making him all hard, chiseled lines. This place was different from her parents’ church, and with Severin and his family surrounding her, she felt happy rather than damned.
“It’s a long time for them to be alone.” She bit her lip, hoping the puppy gate would keep them in their room. There’d never been an issue before, but they’d always been nearby in case of emergency.
“It’s only two hours, and there’s nothing for them to get into.” His gravelly voice was reassuring.
She tried to focus on the predicament at hand. Entering a crowded church for a Christmas service had to be freaking Severin out, but he was hiding his apprehension well, other than the customary public glower. People gave him wide berth even without the glare.
Church punched Severin’s shoulder. “Quit scaring the villagers or they’ll show up with torches and pitchforks.”
Severin scowled then scowled harder when his brother hugged him.
“I missed you, you gigantic asshole.”
Ilse hissed at her husband to watch his language.
“Asshole!” four-year-old Scarlet repeated loud enough for an older man in line ahead of them to snort in amusement.
“Scarlet, that’s a bad word,” Ilse told their younger daughter. “If you talk like that we’re going to get kicked out of playgroup again.”
Minnow bit her lip to keep herself from laughing, but Ilse only made it more difficult by giving her a helpless grimace. It couldn’t be easy to keep the little ones from swearing, considering how much of it their father and uncle did in front of them.
“Daddy always calls you ‘the asshole,’ Uncle Sev,” six-year-old Sage confided, from where she clung to Severin’s other hand. “Then Mommy makes him put money in the swear jar and sometimes Daddy even gets a time out.”
“A time out?” Severin asked.
“Yup. He’s real bad sometimes.”
Ilse nodded solemnly, her red curls bobbing impishly around her face. “Sometimes he’s so bad I have to supervise his time outs.”
“Supervise, huh? How about I watch the girls while you two go to confession?” Minnow teased.
Church waggled his brows.
Ilse laughed. “Confession? None of us are Catholic.”
Minnow glanced around. “Then...why are we here?”
“Sutton loved the choir here, so we always attend their Christmas mass,” Severin muttered, his voice low.
She looked from one to the other, frowning. “Sutton was Catholic though, right?”
Church shook his head. “Only if you count her watching Sister Act every few months.”
“Oh my God, we’re imposters!” Minnow whispered.
“Shh!” Ilse held a finger up to her lips. “Don’t blaspheme, and don’t panic! All we have to do is follow the crowd while they do the Catholic workout.”
“Don’t worry. When it comes to stand, sit, kneel, she’s well trained.” Severin growled, smirking at Minnow in the cocky way that made her toes curl.
“Mister Leduc!” Minnow swatted him.
“Why do you call Uncle Sev ‘mister?’” Sage asked her.
“Um...he’s my boss. It’s polite.”
The little girl frowned, her bright blue eyes startling against her dark skin. Church and Ilse’s kids were so adorable. The family Christmas gathering was a lot more magical with little ones to share it with. It had been ages since she’d been around kids, and they were starting to make her wonder what it would be like to have her own, and not in a vague future context, either. Did Severin even want kids? He was good with them. He tried to be standoffish, but the girls wouldn’t stand for it, and he’d been on the floor playing Lego with Sage for a good part of the morning.
“Uncle Sev is your boss? I don’t think mommy kisses her boss.”
She could feel Severin’s gaze on her, and she flushed.
“Your uncle is too handsome. I can’t stop myself from kissing him.”
Sage laughed into her hand.
The service began, and Minnow listened with interest as the elderly priest gave a sermon on thankfulness. Afterward, the choir sang, and it was more beautiful than Minnow could have imagined. The group was small, but gifted, their voices strong and harmonious, filling the candlelit stone building. The sound reverberated through her, keying something deep. Her emotion welled as she thought of Sutton missing this, and regretting the relationship she’d started with her that would never have a chance to grow.
The next piece was lighter, reflecting the joy of the season and the fun of winter. The sadness and regret sloughed off. She found herself smiling at Church’s children, watching as their feet swung in time with the song, and enjoying their singing when that song moved into a few secular Christmas ones.
The priest picked up his sermon again, and she found herself contemplating the man who sat beside her, muscular thigh pressed tightly to hers. She was so small compared to him, and even sitting did nothing to disguise it.
The congregation knelt for silent contemplation, and Severin’s gaze caught her
s as she sank to her knees on the comfy kneeling bench. He remained sitting on the pew as she knelt at his feet. The weight of his gaze warmed the metal of her collar, which she’d disguised under yet another infinity scarf. She settled her palm over his brand and squeezed it reverently, as though a deity had marked her as his own. Every time she looked at his brand it made her feel special. Valued.
“Maybe I should get you one of those for home,” he whispered in her ear. The murmur felt loud in the silence of the room. Had anyone heard that? She glanced around, but no one was staring. The sexual tension between them raised the small hairs on her arms, and her pierced nipples tightened against the soft cashmere of her sweater. Who went to Church wearing a collar and no bra? Thank goodness her coat was only slightly too warm.
“You want me to be more pious?” she whispered back, keeping her gaze focused on the hymnal in the rack in front of her.
“You’re already perfect.”
Her face heated at the undeserved praise, and she worked hard to pull her mind away from dirty thoughts of him.
Slowly, the hush of the church swept over her. The dignified spirituality of the old structure sank deep into her bones, reminding her of the forest behind the house. How many times had he taken her there now, to walk in silence, feeling the wind caress her face and tug at her hair, his hand warm around her own?
Through her own peace she felt his, attuned to him the way she’d never felt with anyone else – as though she could hear his energy and interpret it. He was calm. Happy. Possibly the calmest he’d ever been since they’d met. Having Church and his family home agreed with him.
Over the past few months she’d felt herself getting assimilated into this circle, accepted as she was...good enough in her own right. Maybe for some people their first family wasn’t the right fit. Maybe the family that came to them later meant more.
She was far too aware of Severin’s attention, focused entirely on her. He’d never said he loved her, but even so, she felt it to be true. It had only been a matter of months, but being alone together in the house day after day, night after night, had accelerated their relationship. She’d spent more time with Severin than she had with anyone else she’d ever dated – more than with any other friend or even family member as an adult. The more she got to know him, the more her protectiveness and adoration grew. In her heart she whispered to God, thanking him for unleashing this man in her life.
Severin touched her shoulder and the pulse of electricity between them followed his hand as it trailed down her arm to wrap possessively around her wrist. He pulled it back toward him and slid something heavy and hot onto her finger.
She twisted to look up at him. Around them people were sliding back onto their seats, but she knelt frozen at Severin’s feet, staring up into his challenging gaze. She glanced down as he laced their fingers together. The smooth stainless ring on her finger that looked more like a wedding band than an engagement ring. A collar for her finger? It matched perfectly with the one around her neck.
Severin’s cold, unyielding gaze said he wasn’t fucking asking, either.
Heat bloomed in her cheeks and crept down her neck.
Church cleared his throat. Minnow looked around and realized she was the only person still on her knees.
Mouth twisted in a mocking smile, Severin pulled her up into his lap. He let her shift back onto the seat beside him, but pulled her possessively into the crook of his arm and leaned down to inhale her scent.
She stared down at the ring, her heart tripping over itself, not sure what she was supposed to do or say. Or how she was supposed to feel. Could a girl safeword a marriage...proposal? A marriage command? Did she even want to?
Did she want to marry Severin?
Hell yes.
He was rough and rude and unpredictable, but she couldn’t seem to find that important anymore. He was the opposite of beautiful, all brutishness and sexual masculinity, but underneath that was a complicated man who’d been hurt. He was good in all of the ways that were important, despite all of the suffering he’d endured. His secrets and standoffishness when it came to personal things only made her want to be the one who was there for him and the one he trusted with .
The service ended not long afterward, and Church and Ilse converged on them.
“Did he just propose to you in church?” Ilse asked, grabbing Minnow’s hand and scrutinizing the ring. “Where’s the rock?” Minnow’s sister-in-law-to-be glared over at Severin, who seemed unperturbed by her teasing.
“What woman wouldn’t prefer a homemade ring?” Minnow asked.
Ilse laughed and rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, Sev, you found your perfect match. She’s just as much of a weirdo as you are. Did he even ask you or did he just shove it on there?”
“If he asked she could have said no,” Church pointed out, side-hugging Severin, then grabbing Minnow in a fierce bear hug that made her feet come off the floor. “He couldn’t have risked that.”
The priest had rounded back to them after chatting with a few of the lingering parishioners. “Glad to see you boys.” He nodded at Severin then shook hands with Church, Ilse and Minnow, and then with the children. “I was so sorry to hear about your mother. I was shocked when I saw her obituary.”
“It was sudden, Father James,” Church replied solemnly.
Minnow moved in front of Severin to shield him just in case, but he dropped a reassuring hand onto her shoulder. He was okay with this man. He hadn’t tried to shake Severin’s hand, and she relaxed because the priest actually knew him. Apparently they weren’t interlopers at all.
“We were so grateful for the donation you made here on her behalf. It will pay for the new roof and furnace, with some left over for the parish food bank. I know none of you are Catholic, but we count you as part of our congregation anyway.”
“Thank you for welcoming us the way you do,” Church replied.
The priest offered a blessing to the children, and they all headed for the door.
“You never gave me an answer,” Severin said when they reached the privacy of his truck.
“Was it a question?”
“No.” His expression was troubled, hooded.
“I won’t safeword marrying you, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
He relaxed back against the seat. The ring still felt warm. She wondered how long he’d waited with it in his hand before putting it on her. Had he been carrying it around since before today? Or had tonight been the plan all along?
“Do you want a better ring?”
“I love this ring.” She hugged her hand protectively against her chest. She’d never been one much for jewelry, and the simplicity of the band meant it wouldn’t get in the way when she worked. “Why tonight? Why there?”
“I was waiting for the right time,” he said, dropping a possessive hand onto the back of her neck as he followed Church’s car down the highway toward home.
“So tonight, while I was kneeling at your feet during a Christmas service at church it was the right time?” she asked innocently.
“Yes.” He flashed her a brief smile that made her toes curl. “It was either that or in the woods behind the house, but tonight seemed more fitting.”
“Why?”
“That Church was Sutton’s favorite place. It was as close to having her there as I was going to get.”
Minnow’s throat thickened with emotion. “You think she would have approved of this? Of us? It’s pretty fast.”
“She knew, and I could tell she was already starting to love you. She would have told me if she’d had objections.” He squeezed the back of her neck, and she melted under his hand. “Besides, even if she hated you, I’d marry you anyway.”
*
After an entire day of board games and baking and a hike, Church and Ilse had said their farewells, climbing into the limo that would take them back to the airport. Severin had gone off to the forge for a few hours, wanting to be alone.
Minnow tinkered for a while, t
idying, playing with the dogs then returning Rodrigo’s call, before crawling into bed with a book.
On a whim, she grabbed her laptop and checked Facebook, scrolling through happy family Christmas and Hanukkah pics posted by her various friends.
Now she’d have pictures of her own to post, if she wanted to.
All too soon, pictures of her sister and parents posing in front of the tree at her sister’s house popped up, along with pics of her and her husband.
Joyous news. They were expecting.
It was like a kick in the balls – well, the way she assumed a kick in the balls would feel if she had the requisite equipment.
Happy. They were all so...happy without her. Normal. Picture perfect.
She examined her mother and father, their tans accentuating the laugh lines around their eyes. Her sister was already glowing even though it was early yet.
So fucking awkward – should she send something? Flowers? Maybe Ilse would know what she should send. She found herself wallowing for a good half hour before she gave her head a shake. If they didn’t want her there, why was she so upset?
She thought about last Christmas, then how different this one had been. She was damn lucky. Christmas with her new family had been relaxed and fun even. Loud, messy teamwork. They’d had a blast together. Her only regret was that they hadn’t seen Rodrigo over the holidays.
No more wallowing.
Instead, she posted her own pictures – of the tree they’d decorated and the turkey they’d made and the pile of gifts. None of the people just yet. Not this year.
A few minutes later, Ilse posted pics of the girls opening presents. She also posted pictures of Minnow and Severin, announcing their engagement and tagging Minnow in them. Ilse gave no fucks. Minnow burst out laughing at the picture of Severin and Church grimacing at each other, wearing the matching sweaters Ilse had ordered for them for Christmas. Ilse sent her a private message saying she’d hoped it was all right. They chatted back and forth for a while before they went to catch their flight.
About one in the morning Minnow finally heard Severin in his shower, and he came to her room dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, his hair still damp and his feet bare.
Feral King (The Dominant Bastard Book 1) Page 25